Chapter 52. When This Spring Passes
2023.10.22.
In the end, Blair could only escape him after falling into a sleep so deep it was practically fainting. Of course, even this would last but a fleeting moment.
Herdin watched Blair for a moment as she lay asleep in his arms, then slowly rose and draped on a robe.
The fireplace, which had been blazing and warming the room, now held only dying flames and nearly spent embers.
He threw in a few more logs, took out a cigar, and stepped out onto the balcony.
Before him stretched the moonlit garden. The night breeze brushing against his cheeks was as soft as his wife's delicate skin. The faint scent, reminiscent of fresh grass, was similar too.
It was spring.
As he felt that breeze and lit his cigar, the words Blair had spoken a few days ago suddenly came to mind.
'Before we begin hypnotherapy, I'd like to practice overcoming my fear of fire little by little.'
For reasons unknown, Blair did not fear fire when she was with him.
Of course, merely looking at a fireplace would consume her with terror and lead to hyperventilation, so he had no choice but to stay faithfully by her side while the fire burned—which was a little troublesome—but he was more than willing to endure it.
The fact that only he could save her from fire also brought him a certain sense of exhilaration.
And so, if she, tamed by the warmth of his fire, sought him out first and nestled into his arms, he could endure that much trouble.
Like caring for a stray cat tamed by the food a human provides.
'There's no need to rush.'
It was a memory her unconscious had erased to protect itself.
Was there really a need to forcibly drag it out?
Currently, Kaligo was monitoring Katrina's movements, so if they could find some clues from that, there was even less reason to awaken her memory.
If things didn't work out well, he could always make her recover her memories then.
Herdin exhaled smoke and gazed through the glass into the bedroom, at Blair sleeping peacefully.
Then what happens when this spring passes?
When the winter chill disappears, and my warmth is no longer needed...
Herdin's eyes deepened as he brushed back her bangs. Just then, he saw the sleeping Blair stir.
Herdin extinguished the half-smoked cigar and went back into the bedroom. To the side of his wife, who waited for his warmth.
* * *
The weather was fine.
Blue skies, modest clouds, trees sprouting new buds. It was perfect weather for a picnic.
'It should just rain.'
Herdin disliked the fair weather that had inevitably forced him to attend the hunting tournament.
Looking out the window with dry eyes, he turned his gaze to his wife sitting beside him.
Her expression was hidden by the bonnet that covered most of her small face, but judging by the direction she faced, she seemed to be admiring the scenery outside.
The sight of her unable to tear her eyes from the window looked just like a child going on a picnic—it was endearing.
As Herdin quietly admired Blair's back, his gaze fell upon her nape. Strands of hair escaping from her updo tickled her pale neck.
It was the very spot where he had pressed his lips when holding her last night.
The memory of last night overlaid upon that white nape, and blood rushed to his lower abdomen.
Herdin scoffed at himself.
He had truly become a madman, now reacting just from seeing a woman's nape.
It was ironic that even while fully aware of his own state, he had no intention of suppressing that desire.
Herdin reached out, wrapped his arm around Blair's waist, and pulled her to him. Then, without giving her even a moment to resist, he pressed his lips to the back of her neck.
Startled, Blair turned around.
"If you leave another mark on my neck—"
The rest of her words were swallowed by his approaching lips.
He kissed her thoroughly, then pulled back and gazed at Blair as if seeking permission after the fact.
Action first, permission later.
Absurd at this reversed order, Blair looked up at him with reproachful eyes rather than complying.
But Herdin, as if her permission mattered little, kissed her again of his own accord. Eventually, Blair gave in and closed her eyes.
His hand untied the bonnet ribbons tied beneath her chin. When the carriage jolted, the precariously perched bonnet tumbled to the floor.
The soft kiss gradually grew rough. Herdin devoured her, not missing even a single breath. Only when Blair's face flushed from lack of air did he finally release her.
Blair looked at him with hazy eyes. Her lipstick was smeared messily across his lips.
The face of the most debauched man in the world made Blair more embarrassed than the man himself.
What would everyone think if they saw him like this?
On the surface, they were a properly married couple, and being caught wouldn't be a problem—but the issue was that she wasn't brazen enough to endure it.
Blair hastily wiped the lipstick smeared on his lips with her thumb. Herdin gently bit that finger.
"Ah."
Blair's hand froze. A subtle tension flowed between the two facing each other.
Like a bowstring drawn taut.
The eyes that had seemed docile for a moment changed in an instant.
Pointlessly wiping her lips, his lips pressed down again. Skillfully parting her lower lip, he explored her mouth.
At the same time, the large hand that had been supporting her waist began to slide upward.
At that touch, memories of her past life suddenly resurfaced.
'Come to think of it, on this very day, in a carriage in my past life too...'
Blair desperately grabbed his hand. And pushed him away.
"No more... you can't, Herdin. We're in a carriage."
"Why does that matter?"
Blair glared at Herdin in disbelief at his response, as if he truly couldn't comprehend the problem.
"What if... everyone else hears us."
"Then you just have to stay quiet."
He was saying that now!
He was too overwhelming for her, and the stimulation he provided was far too much. Even when she tried to stay quiet, it didn't go as she wished.
"Then you just shouldn't do it in the first place."
Herdin showed no intention of letting Blair go. Pulling her close again as she tried to create distance, he replied.
"And who was it that stimulated me with her lips first?"
"You were the one who kissed me first."
"Then let's call that my fault."
He pulled Blair onto his lap.
"I think it would be rather difficult for me to stop now."
Beneath her thighs, she could feel his taut, burning heat, and Blair froze.
Unlike his words that conceded fault, his body seemed to have no intention of repenting at all.
"Unless you want to spread the word to others that your husband is a beast in rut for his wife."
Blair's face grew increasingly flushed. Herdin pushed aside the layers of her voluminous skirts and whispered.
"My wife made me this way, so you must take responsibility."
Soon, a heat that became unbearably overwhelming rose and consumed Blair.
In the end, she could only bite her lip and wrap her arms around his neck.
* * *
The hunting tournament was held in the imperial forest located on the outskirts of the capital.
The nobles gathered first for a meal, after which the men headed off for the hunt proper, while the women separated for tea time.
"Well then, now that we've filled our stomachs, shall we go stretch our limbs?"
At Ivan's words, the nobles dispersed to make their hunting preparations. The men who had finished preparing received cheers and kisses on the cheek from their wives or lovers.
Herdin strode over to Blair, who was watching the scene with quiet eyes.
But she, wearing her characteristic stubborn expression, subtly turned her gaze away. She had been like that ever since the carriage. Seeing this, the corners of Herdin's lips curved up.
She seemed thoroughly sulking, but even that sight appeared endearing to him.
Herdin lightly brushed Blair's cheek with his index finger in a tickling manner and asked.
"Will you not give me a kiss?"
"..."
"You said you would fulfill your marital duties."
Only then did her averted gaze return.
It was annoying that he had to bring up that damned contract to get her to reluctantly comply, but he could tolerate that faint irritation.
The sulking face of the woman looking up at him was pretty, and the lips that finally reached his were soft.
Herdin gently pushed back Blair's bonnet and pressed a kiss to her round forehead. Then he retied the disheveled bonnet ribbons.
Blair's eyes blinked slowly as she gazed at him. Seeing her own reflection in those eyes, it felt as though last night would come rushing back again.
But the desire that threatened to rise once more halted. Thanks to someone's gaze watching from this direction. Wesley stood in that direction.
Herdin's blue eyes, which met his, sank coldly. He shouldn't have been relieved that the Grand Empress hadn't come.
Just then, a knight from Delmark approached.
"Your Excellency, preparations are complete."
Blair, who had hesitated for a moment without tearing her gaze from him, opened her mouth.
"Be careful, Herdin."
"I will return."
Herdin's expression, as he turned away from Blair, reverted to a cold blankness, as though it had never been relaxed.
He commanded the knight accompanying him.
"Bane. Do not leave my wife's side. If she says she is tired, you may return first."
"Yes, Your Excellency."
Blair watched Herdin's retreating back with sorrowfully clouded eyes.
He was no different from the past.
It was obvious, since the person himself hadn't changed. In the past, in the present—he had always been someone whose desires came first.
Therefore, his actions in desiring her could not be something like love.