Chapter 49. The Words I Wanted to Hear
2023.10.19.
Rachel looked at Blair as if she was ridiculous and said.
"Why should I listen to you? Everyone has the right to love freely, and I don't need your permission."
It was a completely different attitude from just moments ago when she had asked for Blair's permission.
Blair felt neither anger nor humiliation at her appearance. That was already a feeling that had passed once in the past.
Now, she just found her cousin, who was confidently spouting nonsense, to be pathetic.
"It seems you prioritize your rights over morality."
"Stop acting so high and mighty. Who in this banquet hall would find fault with that? Everyone probably lives that way behind closed doors."
"Just because it's commonplace doesn't make it honorable. If it's so honorable, try saying it in front of those people. Say that you want to become Duke Delmark's mistress."
Blair gestured with her eyes toward the people in the banquet hall.
Seeing them, Rachel hesitated.
As Blair said, just because everyone lived that way didn't make an illicit relationship something to be proud of.
Blair looked at Rachel steadily and added in a flat voice.
"However you live your life is your freedom, but you shouldn't cross the minimum line."
At Blair's calm rebuke, Rachel gasped as if dumbfounded, but only moved her lips without being able to retort further.
Blair turned away, leaving Rachel behind.
Perhaps because the alcohol was getting to her, she felt like laughing for some reason.
* * *
Herdin, who had turned his gaze while conversing with other nobles, met eyes with the count who was just about to leave the banquet hall.
Beside him was his wife, who looked pregnant at first glance.
Meeting eyes with Herdin, he explained awkwardly.
"My wife is tired, so I thought it would be more polite to leave quietly rather than dampen the mood..."
"It's regrettable and unfortunate that you can't stay longer to enjoy such a pleasant banquet."
"It's something to be grateful for that you attended despite the discomfort. I hope you'll definitely attend again after giving birth."
Herdin responded warmly to the guest who had willingly made the effort to come. It was a rare display of gentleness from him, who always exuded a cold intimidation.
At that, his wife blushed and smiled shyly.
"Yes, we definitely will. I hope there will be good news for Your Excellency and your wife by then as well."
Good news.
At those words, Herdin's gaze lowered to her swollen belly. The soft look in his eyes was briefly swept by a cold chill. But it was only a fleeting moment.
Not noticing that, the two paid their respects to Herdin.
"Then we'll see you at the hunting tournament, Your Excellency."
The couple, having finished their greeting, passed by him.
Herdin stared at the back of the count, who was leaving while carefully wrapping his arm around his wife's waist as if holding the most precious thing in the world, before turning his gaze.
At the end of his turned gaze, as if it were a natural course, Blair's figure was captured. Wearing a navy blue dress that matched his, Blair stood out wherever she was in the banquet hall.
Not only in his eyes, but she would appear that way in others' eyes as well.
Mine. My wife.
But that was only true until this contract ended.
'Good news.'
Herdin scoffed while looking at Blair's slender waist.
As if it were a lifeline, she diligently took her contraceptives, so her belly would never swell.
At least it wouldn't be his child.
...Unless it was some other bastard's child.
When his thoughts inadvertently reached that point, the blood in his entire body ran cold. Just from imagining it.
Erasing the unpleasant imagination, he looked for Blair again, but in that brief moment, her figure was nowhere to be seen and someone else caught his eye.
Wesley Baldwin.
The bastard who had been hitting on Blair at Katrina's birthday banquet.
'...Why is that bastard here?'
The invitations were selected and sent by Blair.
She probably didn't send it because she wanted to invite him, but rather sent it as a matter of formality.
It wouldn't look good to invite all other high-ranking noble families while excluding only the Baldwin Marquisate, and the Baldwin Marquisate didn't only have Wesley.
The day after the unsavory rumors spread, his father, Marquis Baldwin, had even come to apologize in person.
'So I thought if he knew shame, he wouldn't attend.'
It seemed the fool who couldn't fix his habits had crawled in again without any sense.
Seeing Wesley, memories of the previous banquet surfaced and an uneasy feeling arose. Moreover, Blair was now nowhere to be seen in the banquet hall.
Judging from the experience of the previous banquet, his wife had a habit of hiding from others' eyes when she got tipsy.
'So perhaps today as well...'
Could it be that the drunk Blair was caught by the wrong sort again, just like last time? Could she be showing that cute drunken behavior to that bastard?
Then he would want to kill that bastard.
Before such a thing happened, he needed to find her immediately and keep her before his eyes to feel at ease.
Herdin left the banquet hall and began searching the balconies and empty rooms. Since the banquet wasn't over yet, she as the host wouldn't have returned to the bedroom.
After discovering couples having secret rendezvous several times, Herdin finally found Blair on a secluded balcony. Fortunately, she was alone.
Tap tap.
Herdin tapped on the glass window leading to the balcony. Blair, who had been looking at the garden, heard the sound and turned around.
Herdin stepped into the balcony.
"What are you doing here?"
"Shaking off the effects of the alcohol."
"Then what's that?"
Herdin gestured with his eyes toward the wine glass Blair was holding.
Blair then realized that her answer and action might seem contradictory and explained.
"This is water."
Indeed, it was nearly colorless for white wine.
"Wise. It wouldn't be good to show such an appearance in front of guests anyway."
Herdin deliberately emphasized 'such appearance.' Then he naturally took Blair's glass and brought it to his lips.
From where her lips had touched, a faint scent of wine lingered. The water was sweet.
Blair, realizing that he was teasing her by mentioning her disgraceful behavior at the previous banquet, pressed her lips together in displeasure.
Blair didn't have the shamelessness to talk about her embarrassing appearance boldly, so she changed the subject.
"Were you looking for me?"
"Yes."
"Who was looking for me?"
She naturally excluded him from the reason he was looking for her.
Herdin found that annoying, but decided to let it slide since it was a banquet today and it was a reasonable enough situation.
"No. I have something to say."
Blair's gaze looking up at him was asking what he meant to say. He was satisfied seeing himself reflected in her large purple eyes.
Herdin stared at those eyes and opened his mouth.
"You worked hard today."
At the unexpected praise, Blair's eyes blinked.
She had thought she didn't need anyone's recognition for this banquet. She didn't put much weight on the praise from the ladies and misses either.
Since she was satisfied, that was enough.
But the moment she heard the plain but sincere praise flowing from his lips, her heart fluttered. At the same time, she realized.
'I wanted to hear these words from this man.'
She became bitter at the sudden realization.
It was praise from him that she couldn't hear in the past.
In her previous life, she had accidentally heard retainers badmouthing her on this balcony and was shocked.
After that, she fled back to the banquet hall, and she didn't remember how she finished it. She desperately pretended to be fine, saw the guests off, and went up to the bedroom.
And Herdin embraced her as usual without saying anything.
That was natural. She had only done what she should have done as the lady of the house, and he wouldn't have known what she had heard.
Still, if only that day, at that time. If I had heard these words from you.
'...Then everything would have been okay.'
His words now were what the past Blair had desperately wanted to hear.
The praise she received late was more bitter than joyful.
"Thank you."
Blair answered softly and took back her glass from his hand. In doing so, their fingertips brushed against each other.
"Aren't you hiccuping today?"
"Well, I didn't get drunk today."
The glass Blair had wet her throat with and taken away from her lips was empty. Her small, bright red lips, moist with wetness, sparkled in the moonlight.
Herdin's gaze deepened as he watched that. At that moment, his eyes met Blair's. A difficult thirst arose like a flame.
Herdin cupped her cheek and overlapped his lips with hers. Startled, Blair gripped the glass tightly so she wouldn't drop it. Herdin took it from her grasp as he pulled his lips away.
Blair looked at him blankly. Stopped at a distance where their breaths could reach, his eyes were craving her.
He desires her.
His surging desire, as if it would swallow her at any moment, was frightening, but for some reason she didn't want to push him away.
'Is it because I don't want to fight with this person anymore?'
Or else...
Unable to find the answer to her feelings, Blair let go of the glass she was holding.
His hand took it as if he had been waiting, and soon their lips overlapped again. Hot breaths intertwined deeply at different angles.
Unbeknownst to them, there was a shadow watching the two of them.