Chapter 139. May Your Winter Be Warm
2024.01.17.
At Miela's sudden words, Blair furrowed her delicate brow.
"I don't understand what you're saying, coming here out of nowhere."
"It wasn't anything complicated."
Miela delivered her words once more in a tone as though she were bestowing some great kindness.
"Exactly as you understood it. I think it would be best for you to leave His Excellency's side. You came here in the first place because you were running away from him, weren't you?"
"……."
"I'll help you. So you can run away again."
At first glance, it sounded like she was doing it for Blair's sake, but to Blair, who knew what feelings Miela harbored for Herdin, it was a laughable notion.
"I don't intend to involve anyone else in that matter anymore. It's between a married couple."
With a firm expression, Blair drew the line. It was none of her business.
At that, Miela's previously polite smile contorted violently for the first time.
Married couple.
The solid, official, and legal framework of 'married couple' that she could not intrude upon in the slightest had shattered Miela's composure.
"So you intend to stay by His Excellency's side? Even carrying another man's child?"
At Miela's words, Blair stiffened.
"What... what are you talking about right now?"
"That child. It's not His Excellency's, is it?"
Miela said, gesturing with her eyes toward Blair's stomach.
Flustered by this unexpected talk, Blair was at a loss for words. Thinking she had struck a nerve, Miela continued.
"The brown-haired man. Didn't you run away with him? Why did you come back to His Excellency?"
When Mikhail's name came from Miela's lips, Blair's eyes wavered for a moment before cooling down.
Miela knew of Mikhail's existence.
That meant Miela had witnessed her together with Mikhail at some point.
And perhaps—
"You were the one who spread the rumor that I was carrying another man's child."
"Everyone has the right to know the truth."
Saying that, Miela looked as solemn and proud as an apostle of justice.
Looking at the woman drunk on her own convictions, Blair felt a sliver of chill.
Thanks to the rumor she started, she had safely escaped from Herdin, and it had eliminated his pretext to come looking for her.
It was ironic that a rumor born of malice had ended up helping her, but it was also deeply unpleasant.
"Others need to know how selfish you are, Madam. Despite being the daughter of his enemy, how could you bear to become his wife?"
"……."
"I feel sorry for him. If he had met someone else, he surely could have been happy……."
Miela's expression contorted as if just recalling Herdin pained her heart.
For the first time across her past and present lives, Miela had openly revealed her feelings for Herdin in front of Blair.
However, far from being hurt by Miela's words, Blair looked at her with a relieved expression.
"Miss Miela."
Her upright gaze, her gentle yet cold voice, cut through the silence.
"If I become the villain by doing so, does that make your feelings justified, Miss Miela?"
At Blair's words that struck her core, Miela's previously confident eyes wavered. But she quickly gathered her emotions and asked back with a feigned calm face.
"Is it wrong to simply wish for his happiness?"
"Then is it right to judge another's happiness or unhappiness by your own standards and act however you please?"
"I……!"
"No matter how much you slander me and dress up your feelings, in the end, it's nothing more than a vulgar heart coveting a married man."
Blair's calm voice dug out the truth Miela had hidden deep within.
The moral standard she had used to rationalize and justify her own feelings while turning a blind eye.
Feeling as though she had been stripped bare in an instant before the woman she hated most, Miela trembled all over, lost her reason, and revealed her emotions across her face.
"It's all because of you!"
"Miss Miela."
"If only you hadn't married him, if he had married someone else good, I would have wished him happiness with joy—"
Just as Miela was shouting, the door suddenly opened and Herdin came in. A cold frost lingered in his eyes as he approached.
Striding over, he roughly snatched Miela's wrist and dragged her out of the room. As soon as they reached the corridor, he released her like he was tossing her aside and pinned her against the wall.
Before Miela could try to protest, Herdin grabbed her jaw to stop her mouth. His eyes that met hers brimmed with murderous intent. It was completely different from how he had at least maintained a veneer of courtesy before.
"It seems you're done playing the righteous priest, so I'll drop the pretense and give you a warning."
"……."
"Don't show yourself again. If you value your life."
He found it repulsive that she had dared come to Blair and spout such nonsense, but he held back here because Blair was watching right now. He didn't want to show a violent side, after all.
Herdin released Miela's jaw that he had been gripping roughly and turned away.
Miela, about to call out to him with deeply wounded eyes, bit her lip in front of the door that shut without hesitation.
But the sorrow soon vanished from her eyes, leaving only a chilling madness.
Miela muttered in a hollow voice.
"I certainly gave you a chance, Madam."
The chance to protect both you and the child in your womb.
* * *
That night, Blair, who had finished bathing and returned to her room, paused.
Herdin, whom she thought would still be in his office since it was early, was already in the room waiting for her.
Clicking his lighter and fidgeting with it, he approached when he saw Blair.
Blair knew he had something else to say to her, but she deliberately avoided his gaze.
She knew the incident with Miela during the day was unrelated to him.
He had used Miela in his past life, not this one. Miela wouldn't have memories of her past life.
Her head knew this, but her heart dredged up the wounds from her past life. She hated him helplessly.
But knowing that even that hatred stemmed from her own heart that loved him, she didn't want to show it.
Because it was a feeling she had resolved to sever.
However, Herdin caught Blair's hand as she tried to head to the bed.
"Blair."
Before she could make the excuse of being tired, he continued.
"I'll teach you how to light the fireplace."
Blair, who had been planning to refuse whatever he said, paused at the unexpected words. Herdin didn't miss that opening.
"I remembered I never taught you how to light the fireplace."
"……."
"Winter is coming soon."
The warmth of the fireplace that the maids had lit and then extinguished had already faded, leaving the room cool.
As the creeping chill seeped into her body, Blair suddenly recalled a memory from the past.
Right after giving birth, even during the time when she should have kept her body warm, she couldn't light the fireplace. Because of that, her body had become significantly weaker, and she had been plagued with minor illnesses afterwards. She had always felt sorry about that to Asiel.
But if she could light the fireplace, perhaps her body wouldn't become as weak as before.
Thinking that far, Blair answered as if she had made up her mind.
"Alright."
Herdin, who finally heard the answer he wanted, let out a small laugh. But that smile somehow seemed bitter.
"If it's even a little difficult, tell me right away. Not overdoing it is the most important thing."
Blair nodded.
Herdin led Blair in front of the fireplace. Inside the fireplace that the maids had put out, only charred logs remained.
Herdin placed new logs inside the fireplace, and laid paper on top of them. Then he picked up a candle he had prepared in advance.
"We'll light this candle and transfer the fire to the paper. Normally, you light the paper on fire and throw it into the fireplace, but that might be scary since the burning medium gets too close."
After finishing his explanation, he placed the lighter in Blair's hand.
Blair tried to light the candle as she had practiced before, but perhaps because it had been so long, her hand trembled.
At that moment, Herdin's hand overlapped Blair's hand holding the lighter. Then, as if it were a lie, the trembling in her hand stopped. Thanks to that, she was able to light the candle without difficulty.
"Now try lighting that paper with it."
Blair looked at the lit candle with anxious eyes and carefully lifted it. Again, Herdin overlapped his hand with hers.
But when she tried to lean her body toward the fireplace, it wasn't easy to bend her upper body because of her swollen belly. Noticing this, Herdin wrapped his arm around her waist to support her.
Finally, Blair succeeded in lighting the paper. The fire that burned through the paper transferred to the logs, and the fire gradually grew larger.
Watching that scene, Herdin lightly stroked Blair's cheek.
"You don't seem as scared as I thought. You did well."
As Blair blankly stared into his eyes that looked at her with such tenderness, a memory from last spring suddenly came to mind, and she turned her gaze away as if to ignore it.
Herdin, who was watching Blair do so, also turned his gaze to the fireplace.
Seeing the flames she had created, a memory from last spring came to mind.
The marshmallows they had eaten together.
You, who smiled so happily as if you had gained the whole world over a single piece of roasted marshmallow.
And the arrogant me from back then, who drove such a you to the brink of death.
Herdin spoke with self-mockery at his past self.
"……Once, I hoped you would forever fear fire."
Blair's gaze, which had been staring blankly at the fire, turned to him. Herdin continued speaking with the feeling of confessing his sins.
"Because of the fire, because of the warmth, I wanted you to stay by my side forever. I was foolish."
"……."
"I'm sorry."
Only then did Blair understand why he was teaching her how to light a fire.
"Once this matter is settled……."
An apology for his past arrogance—
"Let's break up. Just as you said."
And respect for her choice.
So that even after she left his side, he wished for her winter to be warm.