Chapter 137. Mismatched Puzzle
Self-mocking over his foolish judgment in his past life, Herdin suddenly realized that his and Blair's assumption had been wrong.
"……It wasn't the imperial family."
At his murmur, as if he had realized something from their earlier conversation, Blair looked up at him with questioning eyes.
This time, Herdin looked at her with eyes full of conviction and spoke.
"The one who killed you wasn't your mother."
"How can you be so sure?"
"Because Caligo was the one who found the evidence proving the connection between that incident and Her Majesty the Grand Empress at the trial for the Empress's Palace fire."
That was the same in his past life. The reason Herdin was able to negotiate with Katrina back then was also thanks to the evidence Caligo had found.
Blair's eyes blinked in surprise at his words. Herdin added.
"If that guy was Her Majesty the Grand Empress's underling, he would have destroyed the evidence rather than bringing it to me."
"Then, who on earth……?"
Who else could harbor a grudge against Delmark?
Herdin, lost in thought with cold eyes, suddenly looked at Blair and realized. It was time to tell her about the dark magic circle.
Just as they had discovered through their conversation that Caligo and Katrina were unrelated, she might know facts he was unaware of. Above all……
Because he didn't want to hurt her by hiding the truth under the guise of protecting her, like in his past life.
"I believe the one behind this is likely the same person who cast dark magic on you and me."
"……Dark magic?"
"You probably already know. About Delmark's power."
Herdin briefly explained to Blair.
In the past, the descendants of Delmark who inherited the power of the divine beast could use power beyond their limits.
Worried that the power would be abused, the divine beast placed the life of a loved one as a constraint, as the price of using that power.
As a result, the ancestor who lost their loved one gave up the possibility of surpassing the limits and removed that constraint.
However, someone used dark magic to place that constraint on the two of them once again.
"Here."
In the middle of his explanation, Herdin stopped walking and pointed at Blair's collarbone where the dark magic circle was engraved. At the sudden touch of his fingers, Blair involuntarily flinched.
Herdin looked at Blair's reaction and continued speaking.
"What's engraved here is that seal."
Herdin's gaze deepened as he looked at her slender collarbone and her slightly trembling eyes.
Only then did Blair seem to realize something and asked.
"Was it just because of this that you kept your distance from me? Because you were afraid your power would harm me?"
Blair's voice as she asked was calm, as if she was desperately suppressing her emotions, but her eyes looking up at him were filled with unmistakable resentment.
Herdin answered by keeping his mouth shut.
She couldn't understand him.
If it was dangerous, he should have told her all the more. If it was our problem, we should have worried and solved it together.
But he didn't.
In the end, to him, she was no different from a jewel that had to be kept unblemished. Not an equal partner.
Looking at him like that, Blair suddenly recalled a magic book she had once seen in his study.
The magic of time.
As she remembered that, the puzzle of her unsolved questions fell into place.
"……So you were the one who saved me."
Herdin didn't answer this time either.
Once she realized he had sent her back in time, the question she had been curious about ever since returning to the past came to mind.
"Then what about Asiel?"
My baby who would have been left alone after losing his mother.
Even as she was dying, and even after she woke up again, that child had constantly been on her mind.
"What happened to that child……?"
At that question, Herdin's gaze wavered. After a moment of silence, he opened his mouth.
"Right after you died…… he went on a rampage."
She could guess the rest without hearing it.
If he had gone on a rampage, there would have been no way to turn back. Other than taking his own life.
So, the child who lost his mother also lost his father and was left alone. In that timeline with no one else.
Tears fell from Blair's eyes as she realized that fact.
"Why did you do that……?"
"……."
"Even so, you should have stayed by that child's side until the end."
"……."
"You're that child's father……."
Herdin quietly looked at Blair, who resented him, and smiled bitterly. Even that face that would no longer smile at him was so beautiful that his throat tightened.
He parted his tightly closed lips.
"I didn't have the confidence to endure a world without you."
The radiant eyes looking at me. The cheeks dyed red. The lovely voice calling my name.
Just mentioning Blair's death brought back the vivid memory of facing her lifeless form. Just recalling that memory made his heart feel as if it were being torn apart, leaving him breathless.
He swallowed his surging emotions and continued.
"I'm sorry."
Blair, who was about to say something more to him, ended up swallowing her words without being able to say anything.
She knows that emotions don't always go as planned. She also knows that in a situation where he had already gone on a rampage, the only choice he could make was to return to the past.
But, still.
'Asiel, my baby…….'
Just thinking about the child who must have been left alone made her chest feel not just crushed but torn apart. Even knowing it was an unavoidable situation, resentment clung to her like lingering attachment.
Even if the child in her womb now was Asiel, could she say it was the same child as the one she left behind?
Suppressing her emotions in the face of irreversible reality, Blair suddenly realized.
That she and he could never fit together in the end.
It was true that he had hurt her, but she couldn't say that his desire to protect her was wrong either. They were simply different.
If they kept forcing mismatched puzzle pieces to fit, would they eventually wear down and fit together someday? Could that even be called being for each other?
Should they force themselves to fit…… even while hurting like this?
At the end of that question, Blair opened her mouth.
"Herdin."
Herdin quietly looked at his wife calling him with a calm voice. As if he would listen to whatever she had to say.
But the words that flowed from her mouth were ones he didn't want to accept.
"When this is over, let's separate."
At that, Herdin's eyes shook violently.
He had to say something, but no words could come out of his mouth.
Because her expression looked relieved, like someone who had finally found the answer to a long-unsolved problem.
* * *
"Ah, are you awake?"
The first thing Zerard saw upon regaining consciousness was Miela's eyes, examining his condition.
At first, Zerard didn't recognize Miela and frowned, but soon found her face in his memory.
She was one of the temple priests he had seen in passing.
Since the temple had more than one or two priests, he couldn't remember each of their faces, but Miela stood out among them for her beauty and her actions leading in good deeds, making her frequently mentioned by fellow priests and priestesses as well as devotees, so he knew her face.
Zerard moved his parched mouth.
"……Priest Miela."
"You recognize me!"
Miela smiled happily.
"Where is this? Surely not the imperial capital."
"This is Lord Nerha's mansion. You seemed to be severely injured, so I brought you here."
At the mention of the lord's mansion, Zerard flinched and immediately tried to sit up. His entire body ached stiffly.
"You shouldn't push yourself yet. I've healed your wounds, but you were in an injured state for a long time, so the blood loss was severe. Your stamina will be greatly depleted. Please lie down a bit longer."
Ignoring Miela's restraint, Zerard forced himself up and quickly surveyed the room.
A small but expensively constructed room. It was obviously a guest room in a noble's mansion.
Miela, noticing his gaze surveying the surroundings, said.
"Ah, the room is a bit small for Your Holiness to use, right? I'm sorry, I couldn't rent a larger room because I had to hide Your Holiness's identity."
At Miela's words, Zerard narrowed his brows.
"……You hid my identity?"
"I thought there must be a good reason why Your Holiness didn't visit Nerha publicly. So for now, I told them you're a priest from the same temple as me."
"I see."
"Perhaps…… was my judgment wrong?"
Zerard stared at Miela, who was carefully observing his reaction. She was indeed quick-witted and clever, as he had heard.
"No. You made a very wise judgment."
At his praise, Miela smiled brightly as if relieved.
"What a relief. That I can be of help to Your Holiness."
She handed a cup of water to Zerard, who likely hadn't had water in a long time, and asked.
"The reason for your secret visit must be to catch the dark mage, right?"
At that question, Zerard paused as he received the water cup.
The place he was found was the collapsed villa. A dark magic circle was drawn in the basement there, so there was no way the Nerha knights who rescued him wouldn't have seen it.
Fortunately, thanks to Miela being present at the scene, it seemed he had avoided suspicion that he was the master of that dark magic circle.
Miela wouldn't have thought that the Pope himself would use dark magic. Even if it was a bit strange for the Pope to move directly, she would believe he came to catch the dark mage.
Thanks to that, he avoided the troublesome situation of having to explain directly to Lord Nerha.
Zerard showed a satisfied smile toward Miela.
"As expected, your situational judgment is excellent, Priest Miela."
"You praise me too much."
After moistening his throat, Zerard recalled his memories just before the building collapsed and subtly probed Miela.
"By the way, was there no one else found with me? Or…… a corpse, perhaps."
The building's collapse was due to the battle with Mikhail.
The two had exchanged attacks fierce enough to inflict fatal wounds on each other, and the building, unable to withstand the impact, had collapsed.
Right before the building's debris crashed down on Zerard, he barely managed to form a protective barrier with divine power, and thanks to that, he was able to survive.
But he didn't know whether Mikhail had lived or died.
'Did that bastard die?'
Zerard waited for Miela's answer, hoping that the remnant of his wretched past had died.
Finally, Miela opened her mouth.