Chapter 115. I'll Give You Whatever You Want
2023.12.24.
"Are you trying to make me an irresponsible father?"
"……."
"Your body will only get heavier from now on, so we need to prepare for the birth. You can't have the child somewhere that isn't home."
Blair sneered at his words.
In her past life, he hadn't visited even once until the child was born.
Seeing him say such things in this life was laughable. A belated sense of grief surged up, choking her.
"I don't want to go back. My home is here now."
Blair's resolve was stubborn.
Herdin looked down at her and let out a sigh.
Whether two months ago or now, his wife's stubbornness remained unchanged. Neither intimidation nor persuasion could bend her will.
Rubbing his forehead to suppress his frustration, Herdin changed his approach.
"Fine, I was entirely in the wrong."
"……."
"I'll give you whatever you want, so let's call it a day and go back home."
However, as he said this, rather than repenting for his mistakes, he wore the expression of a man who found it tedious to soothe a crying child.
Seeing that, Blair felt the bottom of her heart collapse once more.
This was not what she had hoped for.
The two months of respite she had gained by desperately fleeing from him had changed nothing. Though she hadn't left him expecting it to, anyway.
Even after being hurt so deeply by this man, what was she still expecting from him? Her heart crumbling anew felt both laughable and pathetic.
Yet simultaneously, a conviction stronger than ever before took root within her.
That she could never be happy with this man.
Blair fought to suppress her surging emotions and declared her intent.
"What I want is a divorce."
The moment that damned word 'divorce' left Blair's lips, Herdin's expression distorted instantly.
"Just how long are you going to keep this up?"
"……."
"Please, enough with the stubbornness! I told you I'd give you anything you want except that."
Herdin had raised his voice, but upon seeing Blair's reddened eyes, he swallowed his surging anger with a sigh. However, the boiling emotions that scraped past his Adam's apple ignited into flames in his chest.
"Do you want wealth? I'll transfer enough private assets to your name that you could live in luxury for the rest of your life and still have plenty left over."
"……."
"No, I'll give you an entire estate. Will that be enough?"
"……."
"Or perhaps that trip you wanted so badly? You can do that too, once you've recovered from the birth. As much as you want."
He had listed everything she could possibly want. But Blair's eyes, as she looked at him, were entirely empty.
"…Do you really think that's what I want?"
Eyes devoid of both excitement and anger.
He had never seen such an emotion from her before; her appearance was unfamiliar. That unfamiliar look brought a surge of nameless anxiety.
Herdin grabbed Blair's arm.
"Then what exactly is it that you want?"
Blair kept her mouth shut without a word.
At that moment, the conversation he had with her in the square earlier came to mind.
'We are nothing.'
If she were to say she loved another man, he felt he might truly do something drastic, so he had silenced her.
Yet, actually seeing her defend that bastard had twisted his temper in a different way. The warped emotions he hadn't yet managed to unravel burst forth without warning.
"Ah. Do you want me to do something insane like proclaiming love, like that bastard who ran away with you even knowing his life was on the line?"
Blair's cold gaze shook violently. His words left her speechless.
"Then I'll do that too. I'll do anything for you—"
Before he could finish his sentence, Blair's hand struck his cheek. A sharp slap echoed, followed by dead silence.
In that silence, only Blair's ragged breathing echoed.
The first to break the silence was Herdin.
"How many more slaps will it take for you to be satisfied?"
The one who had been struck remained completely unfazed, while the face of the one who struck him was terribly contorted. Her pale hand, flushed red from the impact, trembled violently.
Herdin stared at her for a moment before speaking again.
"But it seems like your hand will only hurt more this way."
"…."
"You might as well just stab me with a sword."
Blair's chest heaved with her ragged breathing. She looked to be desperately fighting back tears.
Blair bit her lower lip hard before finally speaking in a trembling voice.
"You… really haven't changed at all."
That's right, this man would never change.
Probably forever.
Now, contempt lingered in her violet eyes.
Staring intently into those eyes, Herdin released her arm and squeezed his eyes shut. His prominent Adam's apple bobbed harshly.
Having regained his composure, Herdin left the bathroom, leaving Blair behind.
"…Attend to the madam."
The maids waiting outside received his order and entered the bathroom. Shortly after, he heard the sound of the door closing quietly behind him.
Herdin roughly ran a hand through his hair.
As the heat of the steam that had filled the room and the warmth of her small body against his faded away, his body cooled, and his rationality returned.
He had revealed his emotions too hastily.
He had found her again, and now that she was heavy with child, she couldn't run away anymore. She couldn't escape him anyway.
There was no longer any reason to be impatient or anxious.
Thus reassuring himself, Herdin finally walked away.
* * *
Having deliberately taken his time bathing, Herdin returned to his room, only to be met with an empty bed.
By now, Blair, who had gone in to wash first, should have already returned to the bedroom.
"…Blair."
His heart dropped at the sight of the empty bed. Just as he stiffened his expression and was about to rush out of the room, a faint sound of breathing reached his ears from one corner.
Approaching the source of the sound, he found Blair curled up and asleep on the small sofa with her back to the door.
Seeing this, his tension deflated, and a hollow laugh escaped him.
The reason she chose to sleep uncomfortably on this small sofa instead of the spacious bed was easy to guess.
It was her way of saying she couldn't bear the sight of him.
This was essentially the maximum resistance she could offer him.
Yet, her peaceful, slumbering face looked far too serene for a woman who was supposedly resisting him with all her might.
Herdin sat on the edge of the table in front of the sofa and stared at the sleeping Blair. Whatever she was dreaming about, a faint smile graced her lips.
He should resent this face that only showed a smile after falling asleep, yet strangely, he couldn't bring himself to hate it. Like a madman.
Herdin gazed intently at Blair, who was fast asleep, completely unaware that the man she hated so much was right beside her. His gaze eventually rested on her rounded belly.
Just two months ago, he could barely feel the slight swell even when touching it directly, but now it had grown enough that anyone could tell she was pregnant at a glance.
Just moments ago in the bathroom, he had been too consumed by their argument to truly register the change, but the reality of it struck him anew.
Its round shape was both endearing and wondrous. Especially when he thought about how this small-framed woman had nurtured the child within her so preciously.
Thinking such thoughts, he inadvertently reached out to touch her belly.
"Ah…."
Blair's eyes snapped open, and she quickly wrapped her arms around her belly. It was a reflex akin to a mother beast protecting her young.
Even though she recognized that the man before her was her husband and the father of the child in her womb, her defensive posture remained unyielding.
Herdin stared at her for a moment before speaking.
"Sleeping uncomfortably here won't change anything. Stop being stubborn for no reason and sleep in the bed."
"I'm comfortable here—"
Before Blair could even finish her sentence, Herdin scooped her up into his arms. Startled, Blair flailed and shouted.
"Put me down!"
Ignoring her protests, he resolutely carried her over and sat her down on the bed.
The moment he set her down, Blair tried to scramble off the bed, but Herdin's solid frame blocked her path.
"Lie down."
"No—"
"I'll leave."
With those words, Herdin immediately stepped back. He then left the room, leaving Blair behind, who still watched him with wary eyes.
As his hand closed the door, he naturally reached into his inner pocket, pulled out a cigar, and placed it between his lips.
A familiar, yet far more intense pain pierced through his skull. His body staggered from the impact.
"…!"
As Herdin clenched his teeth against the pain, memories that felt like his own yet weren't, burrowed sharply into his mind.
His vision blurred for an instant, then brightened, revealing a small child before his eyes.
It was a boy with soft, curly raven hair and brilliant violet eyes, looking barely old enough to have started toddling.
'…Blair?'
Upon seeing the child, Herdin immediately thought of Blair. The child's lovely violet eyes were strikingly similar to hers.
The child with her eyes sat in a cradle, weeping sorrowfully as he looked at him. Beneath the child's cradle, blood pooled like a puddle.
Herdin's heart dropped at the sight.
Forgetting that it was merely a vision, he took a step toward the child. For some reason, he was consumed by the singular thought of rescuing the child who resembled his wife from that cruel scene as quickly as possible.
But the moment he reached out for the child, the boy vanished as if he were a lie, leaving only the sight of an empty hallway in his place.
Herdin stared vacantly at the spot where the child had vanished. Belatedly realizing it was a vision, he furrowed his brow.
"What on earth is this…"
The strange symptoms that had been dormant ever since Blair left had reappeared.
More intense than before, and far more vivid.