For someone like me, whose entire experience of being dolled up amounted to getting my overgrown hair trimmed at a salon, Hwaya’s full-body styling session (the abridged version) was more exhausting than handling orders during the lunch rush.
I couldn’t believe this was the abridged version. Just what kind of adornment did she usually do? And how long did it take when she really put her back into it for an important occasion?
Since my lady is unwell, we’ll finish lightly for today. Saying that, Hwaya spent nearly an hour doing my hair, and I could feel myself being overwhelmed by her sheer energy. There was no way I could bring myself to say I was tired and ask her to stop.
After my hair had been braided into three strands and tied neatly with a daenggi, I fiddled with the ends of it and gazed at the sky gradually reddening beyond the slightly open window, letting out a sigh.
“Haa…”
From now on, I’m going to have my first proper meeting with the male lead. This is the most important part if I want to survive in this world. To him, I’m his lover who has lost her memories, so as long as I don’t deliberately get on his nerves, it probably won’t become a problem.
I’m a man. I’m not the Ryu Sua you know. As long as I don’t push him away like that, his feelings may gradually cool, but I won’t be thrown out.
But that doesn’t mean fully responding positively to his feelings would be fine, either. It’s an even more fundamental issue than whether his affection is truly directed at me, or whether the person he’s looking for isn’t me.
How am I supposed to marry a giant fox-man? And a romance-fantasy-style married life at that, where I have no idea what might happen to me.
Since I don’t even know what point in the story I’ve transmigrated into, my worries are doubled. If this is the beginning of the novel or before it, then what awaits the female lead isn’t a happy marriage, but a painful one.
I’d always thought romance-fantasy married life was incredibly cruel to female leads, but thinking about it now, isn’t it just abuse?
Being neglected after marriage because the husband loses interest is on the mild side. There are things like being kidnapped or sold off and forced to set up a new household. Being tormented over misunderstandings. Having a concubine brought in and then being abandoned.
And the fact that even this much is considered tame… What does romance fantasy even think love is? As long as they live happily ever after at the end, is that all that matters?
Then what if it’s the latter half of the novel, the part heading toward the ending and side stories? Is that fine? That’s even more of a problem.
Usually, endings and side stories exist to show the male lead and female lead’s ticklish, tender newlywed life, so they’re full of episodes where they travel, get pregnant, raise children, and so on!
You’re telling me to travel around with a giant fox, get pinned under his belly and become pregnant, give birth, and then live a married life waiting for childcare? Absolutely not. I’d rather climb out the window right now and force a second escape attempt.
…Still, rather than fleeing without knowing what awaits me, I want to stay in this safe place and find a way back to my original world.
It’s selfish.
I want to be cared for under the position of the giant fox’s wife, but I want to avoid every single duty that comes with being his wife.
“It’s a terrible thing to do…”
Knowing that and yet still being selfish, I muttered quietly as if blaming myself.
“What is a terrible thing to do?”
An answer came back.
When I lifted my head at the sound, there was a snow-white man sitting there, smiling as he looked at me. I had no idea when he had entered the room.
The ears atop his head, the abundant white tail, and the yellow eyes looking at me told me he was the giant fox I had seen in the forest.
Especially the moment I saw those yellow eyes, the chilling fear that ran through me confirmed it.
“Gyaa—ha… S-since when have you been here…?”
“When I came in, you were fiddling with your hair, lost in thought. I rather like watching you when you’re deep in contemplation.”
So he’d been watching me for quite a while. Thank goodness I hadn’t been organizing my thoughts out loud. If I had, he might have found out I wasn’t Ryu Sua at all, and who knew what he might have done to me.
Since this was an Eastern-style romance fantasy, I might have been accused of being an evil spirit possessing the lady’s soul and had a shamanic ritual performed on me, or ended up in danger of becoming a component of a Joseon-era search engine capable of finding even nonexistent hideouts.
His eyes stared at me intently, as if curious about what I was thinking. Feeling burdened, I slightly averted my gaze and opened my mouth.
“…I have no memories, yet everyone serves me as their lady. I’m grateful for it, but at the same time, it feels like a terrible thing to do.”
“Do not worry about that. You are indeed my wife.”
He could say that because he didn’t know the thing inside was a dark-haired man. Of course, to him, he was probably just trying to comfort his wife, who was confused after losing her memories.
“By the way, it seems you recognize me. I came in this form in case you might be startled, but I thought you wouldn’t know who I was.”
“Your voice is the same as when we met in the forest… so I thought that was the case.”
“Is that so? To think you would remember me so quickly like that. It pleases me.”
His smile made my mouth feel bitter. I didn’t know what to say to him when he looked so purely happy, so I only kept fiddling pointlessly with my hair and avoided his gaze.
When I closed my mouth, an awkward silence seemed to settle over the room. I should say something, anything, and keep the conversation going. Even though I had resolved to do that, my mouth wouldn’t open easily.
Thankfully, the silence did not last long.
“Master. May we bring in the meal?”
“Do so.”
It seemed mealtime had arrived. A maid had come in carrying a table with the meal laid out. Thanks to that, I could catch my breath and turn my eyes to the prepared spread.
On a table slightly large for two people was a neat meal served in brass bowls.
Glossy white rice that looked freshly cooked, a clear soup with beaten egg and mushrooms, grilled fish placed before each of us. Seasoned greens familiar to any Korean, like bracken and chwinamul, and even a bowl of dongchimi.
It was a spread appetizing enough that I almost picked up my spoon without thinking. But the master of this place was right in front of me, so it would be rude to start eating on my own.
I waited for him to begin eating first and watched him carefully, but whether he had no intention of starting or there was something he wanted, he only stared at me without showing any sign of picking up his spoon.
Had I already made some kind of mistake? Or was there some order of things I didn’t know?
But there was no way for me to know that.
“Um… are you not eating?”
I steeled myself and decided to ask directly. I had no memories, so what else could I do? All I could do was ask.
“Hm? Ah. Right.”
At my question, he lifted his spoon with awkward movements as if only then realizing it, scooped up some soup, and put it into his mouth.
“I had forgotten and was waiting.”
Waiting? What did he mean he was waiting? Had he been waiting for me to pick up my spoon first?
“You may not remember, but my wife always used the first dish she ate to express how she was feeling. It was fun guessing, so when we ate together privately, you always picked up your spoon first.”
“I see.”
“I unintentionally made a patient wait. From now on, do not bother waiting for me.”
So that was why he had just been staring at me. I was glad there wasn’t some kind of problem, but I still felt an inexplicable bitterness in my mouth.
Stop.
Let’s think about serious things later when I’m alone. For now, it’s food. It would be rude to sit gloomily before a meal someone worked hard to prepare. Eat first, think later.
I scooped up a spoonful of glossy white rice and brought it to my lips. Then, as I always did, I smelled the rice held before my mouth. It was full of the nutty scent of nurungji, unique to rice cooked in an iron cauldron.
I immediately put the rice into my mouth and chewed slowly. Even though I was only eating rice, sweetness seemed to spread throughout my mouth. I felt it when I ate the porridge too, but they really knew how to make rice here.
No wonder transmigrators don’t suffer over food unless it’s a cooking-related story. It was enough to make me want to ask the cook for the secret.
I continued eating, taking in the aroma of the other side dishes and soup, then putting them into my mouth and slowly chewing to taste them. But the man sitting across from me barely seemed to be eating at all, picking at the side dishes with his chopsticks while still watching me.
Did it not suit his taste? Judging by the way his rice was steadily decreasing, that didn’t seem to be it… Ah, he must not be used to chopsticks. Well, his true form was a fox, so of course chopsticks would be difficult.
So I was about to speak to him, to ask if he needed help.
“Um… er…”
What should I call him? Should I attach “sir” to his name? But I don’t even know his name yet. If I’d known this would happen, I would have asked Hwaya while she was dressing me up…
Should I call him Master like the other maids? That’s weird. If I were some child he picked up somewhere, maybe I’d call him that, but it would be strange for the person who was supposedly his wife to do so.
Then… a title a woman might use for her husband. So, so, ahh…
“If using chopsticks is uncomfortable, shall I help you? Um… h-husband?”
“…”
Clatter.
He froze in the middle of his awkward chopstick use. Perhaps from shock, his mouth fell slightly open, and the chopsticks he had been holding slipped from his hand and dropped onto the table with a sound.
D-did I choose wrong? Should I have used something else? But calling him “darling” or “my lord” would be way too embarrassing, wouldn’t it? I should’ve just called him Master. Ahh, why did I try to use a title between spouses?
“I’m sorry if that was strange. I don’t know your name, and I didn’t know how I should address you…”
My face felt like it was burning with embarrassment, so I hurriedly tried to make excuses.
“Kff, hahaha!”
And then he burst out laughing. W-was it strange enough to laugh at? I tried hard to choose that one…