Fingering the knot of my jeogori, I made the fabric rustle softly.
The faint breathing of the other, gradually approaching my face.
The sound of a sleeve sliding down as I raised my arm, brushing against skin.
Sounds that, under normal circumstances, I wouldn't even notice or hear clearly.
They weren't buried by my heart rampaging just because I'd closed my eyes; instead, they dug vividly into my ears.
The sounds burrowing into my mind arbitrarily made my darkened vision their screen.
The jeogori whose front fold would come undone with the slightest force.
A certain part of two faces drawing ever closer.
The hill or valley my raised arm had reached.
They projected delusions I had arbitrarily superimposed onto the knowledge I possessed.
Things that had never happened, things I had never experienced, unfolded vividly as if truly occurring before my eyes.
A mere loosened front fold.
Mere touching of lips.
Mere touched places.
Compared to the flesh-filled media I had casually encountered before my possession, these were acts no different from child's play.
Why, then, were they so embarrassing that I couldn't open my tightly closed eyes?
If I was embarrassed, why couldn't I stop the imaginations unfolding before my eyes?
"Hh..."
But my indecent thoughts shattered into a white haze the moment Sohwi's fingers touched my cheek, together with a moan that leaked through my lips.
I couldn't even continue my indecent imagination just because a hand had touched my cheek; all my nerves focused entirely on that touch.
Strength entered my trembling hands, and unknowingly chewing on my lip, I meekly entrusted everything to his touch.
Wherever the tips of his fingers touched, a heat like sparks flying spread out.
The hand gently caressing past my cheek, trailing down along my ear and the nape of my neck, made my body tremble on its own.
Since it seemed he would really go through with it like this, laughably, my mind—which had gone blank—began to fill with trivial worries.
Wasn't the progress too fast after barely a month? What if I looked like a loose woman? How was the cut of my undergarments today? To think the day would truly come when I'd worry about the style of my undergarments, just as Hwaya said... Could I, who had originally been a man, even do this properly? On the contrary, one could say I had overflowing knowledge, but that was a worry in itself. Wouldn't I look lascivious rather than merely shameless? In a place where merely exposing one's neck or shoulders caused an uproar, such rough play...?
But my own useless worries, endlessly linked tail to tail,
-Thwack.
were carried far away together with the clear sound and the pain flooding my forehead.
Surprised by the sudden pain, my closed eyes flew open, and my trembling hands quickly clutched at my forehead.
Before my eyes lay a large hand poised as if it had just delivered a flick.
Finding it absurd to be suddenly struck in this atmosphere, I tried to demand an explanation of Sohwi like a blaze, but
"Ugh? W-why?"
I was so dumbfounded that I couldn't even speak properly.
How much I had worried, how great a resolve I had made.
Did this man want to play a joke even in this situation?
The tension and worries I had built up became vain acts in an instant, and my eyes stung for no reason.
"This sly wife of mine, not knowing that men and women are to be kept apart, only acts shameless."
The man who normally seemed to see through my heart was now entirely ignoring my mood and speaking as if I were in the wrong.
Normally, I would have been intimidated and backed down, but
"You were the one who started it, Husband!"
If I lost now, my bold displays until just now would become dark history, rendering me unable to face my own blanket.
For the first time, I talked back loudly and sharply at Sohwi, but
"Since you acted without shame even in front of guests, I intended to break my own bad habit."
"Unngh..."
Only my protruding, defiant lips ended up caught.
Both lips captured, unable to speak properly, I was held for a while before finally being released.
While cupping my tingling lips with both hands and glaring at Sohwi,
"Wife."
Seeing Sohwi look at me with eyes that seemed somehow sad, or bitter, yet also grateful—
strangely, my aggrieved and slightly spiteful heart vanished completely.
"Do you truly wish to share my bed?"
I had thought I could naturally answer yes.
Perhaps because my lips had been caught to a tingling degree, my mouth showed no sign of opening easily.
My head couldn't nod either, as if it had stiffened rigid.
"Do you love me, Wife?"
This time too, my mouth and head showed no intention of moving.
I should just say I like you, as I had vowed.
"My dear. You are not ready yet."
Frustratingly, I couldn't give any answer.
Even a fool could tell it wasn't the answer Sohwi wanted.
"You are delightful in every way, Wife, but must you always rush? Taking things slowly wouldn't hurt."
But
"I don't want to."
Though I had always been grateful for his promises to wait.
"This... This may not yet be the answer Husband desires."
That wait was for 'Ryu Sua.'
"I have thought about it enough... Though a bit rushed, I was not forced."
If I keep waiting like this, and perhaps must return everything to Ryu Sua should she come back—
"I... like you, Husband. I like Sohwi."
Only until then.
At least until you come back.
Because I want to make this sweet affection entirely 'mine.'
"If words are not enough..."
If I could only do that, I would throw away my pride as a man onto the street.
It may be a love obtained by cowardly leaning on another's shell, but I will gladly drink it in.
With a jealous heart, I stood on my tiptoes with all my strength.
To still reach that love so high above me, I wrapped both arms around Sohwi's neck.
-Peck.
I touched Sohwi's lips.
It was only a bird kiss, lightly brushing against him, yet my head felt electrified, as if it would burst.
"..."
"...Is this enough?"
The vivid sensation on my lips and the immoral guilt of tasting what belonged to another mixed wildly, eventually becoming the emotion called happiness.
As Sohwi's expression—previously bearing clear signs of bewilderment—gradually twisted, and he embraced my waist as if to break it with the look of a man whose patience had run out,
"Or is it not enough?"
Feeling an even more desperate thirst, yet also a strange satisfaction.
Seeing Sohwi's face approaching mine, I closed my eyes and showed a sly smile.
***
I had intended to play a small prank.
Her sudden surge of affection had become so intense that it was difficult to endure.
I too had thought to play a slightly more risqué prank to make her restrain herself a little.
Her face flushed red.
Her hands trembling softly.
Eyes gently closed after looking at me as if in permission.
An unexpected permission had been granted.
Just a little.
If I applied just the slightest force and tugged the knot of the jeogori, the fruit wrapped in cloth would simply reveal itself.
If I reached out just a little, I could have grasped anywhere I wished.
At the very least, I could have savored those small lips to my heart's content.
She is the woman I love.
To say my heart did not stir would be a lie.
But I could not simply indulge without restraint.
She had lost her memory and everything was unfamiliar to her; I had to be the one to restrain myself and endure.
I had to draw a line so she wouldn't be hurt by a choice made hastily in the heat of the moment.
I had intended to leave and call Hwaya or another maid to help her fix her makeup.
But.
-Peck.
She recklessly crossed the line I had drawn and barged in.
Like a bewitching serpent, she wrapped both arms around my nape and pushed her own face forward to taste my lips.
Unlike a girlish, innocent kiss, her smile—as if to say it was not enough—was none other than an enchantress capable of destroying a nation.
I could no longer endure.
"You are the wicked one."
I pulled Sua's slender waist upward, lifting her.
Already struggling with our great height difference, her feet, which had been on tiptoes, now hovered pathetically in mid-air, with only her toes barely grazing the floor.
At that pitiful sight, I hesitated no longer and thrust my lips forward.
Though it was right after a tender kiss where only lips had touched.
Roughly joining her mouth, I repeatedly licked and tasted her lips with my tongue.
They were merely lips painted with yeonji. Why, then, did such a fragrant sweetness waft from them?
"Uugh... Pwah... Jusht a moment..."
Sua gently pulled her head back, perhaps lacking breath from the continued kisses, but I had no intention of letting her escape now.
I forcibly kept my lips attached, following Sua as she fled backward.
"Hahk... Hh!"
Lips that had remained tightly shut, as if they would never open, soon parted helplessly, exhaling a hot breath.
Not missing that gap, I thrust my tongue in without hesitation.
Though I could feel Sua's body trembling finely at the explicit movements rummaging through every corner of her mouth, I had no thought of stopping.
On the contrary, though I had become unable to endure like a dog in heat, Sua should be grateful I was holding back at nothing more than a rough kiss.
The ten years I waited before she lost her memory.
The wedding I awaited while imagining happiness with her.
The present I waited in, consideration for her who had no memory.
I have waited enough and been considerate enough, so for now, she must accommodate my desires.
Besides, it was Sua herself who first crossed the line and tempted me.
Still, her panting was pitiful, so I removed my lips to give her a moment to breathe, but
"Pwah... Haah... Are you shatisfied now?"
Seeing that the temptation did not stop even with her tongue half-loosened as if trailing threads, it seemed she had yet to receive sufficient punishment.