“Madam!”
Not long after asking Jeongi to locate the man who had suffered needlessly due to a misunderstanding, Hwaya’s urgent voice reached me from nearby.
Footsteps rapidly striking the ground drew steadily closer.
Her precious mistress had vanished entirely from the promised place—how panicked she must have been. She had indulged her curiosity and rushed into the alley, only to make matters worse.
“Madam, why are you in a place like this….”
Hwaya’s voice, still catching her breath, came from close by. Only then did she enter my sight, surprise and relief rising simultaneously across her face.
“…Are you unwell somewhere? Hmm?”
Asking after my condition with a worried voice, Hwaya carefully brought her hand to my hair.
I felt her fingers tidying the strands that must have become disheveled from running about moments earlier.
If I kept my head bowed in silence, it would only cause her more worry, so I cautiously lifted my face.
But my mouth would not open, as if something were caught in my throat. I simply looked up at Hwaya and shook my head slightly.
“You are truly alright, are you not? If even the smallest thing is amiss, you must tell me.”
Perhaps that was not enough, for Hwaya asked again. I merely nodded in place of an answer.
Though not fully satisfied, her stiff face gradually relaxed, as if relieved simply that I was safe.
Her shoulders, too, seemed to lower slightly, her tension easing. But that change did not last long.
The moment Hwaya’s gaze turned toward Jeongi, who stood behind me.
Her face, gentle until moments ago, hardened in an instant.
The softening corners of her mouth settled into a quiet line, and a cold light descended into her eyes.
The hand that had been fixing my hair stopped.
And Hwaya slowly rose from her place.
Having stood, she strode straight toward Jeongi.
“Did I not tell you to serve Madam well?”
“You did.”
“Then I suppose this is what you call ‘well’! I brought you along because I deemed you the most trustworthy, in accordance with Madam’s wishes.”
And she began to rebuke Jeongi in a cold voice I had never before heard.
Why was she scolding Jeongi?
The one at fault was me, who had acted as I pleased. I was the one who had caused the problem, so why was she pinning responsibility on another while leaving the culprit aside?
“Hwaya. Stop.”
I forced open my tightly sealed lips and barely managed a voice.
My tone, hoarse from having cried so long, sounded pitiful even to my own ears.
“It is fortunate that Madam is safe. But what if you had encountered ruffians brandishing knives in some back alley, or deranged vagabonds? What did you intend to do then!”
“I would have prevented anything from happening.”
Even so, Hwaya did not withdraw her cold demeanor.
Rather, she glared at Jeongi even more sharply and raised her voice.
Was coming out to the alley truly cause for such rage that Hwaya could not even hear my words?
She could have simply scolded me, telling me not to go to dangerous places, and been done with it.
But contrary to my wish, Hwaya continued to blame Jeongi and lash out at her.
“Ha! If you wished to prevent anything, you should have stopped it from happening in the first place. I suppose in your eyes, this appears to be a perfectly uneventful and harmless situation.”
“I have no excuse.”
“If Madam, whose health is already poor, had come to any harm, do you think an excuse from the likes of you would resolve it? Right here and now—”
My stomach churned.
“Stop! Just stop!”
I grabbed Hwaya’s hand and cut her off by shouting as loudly as I could.
Even the cold Hwaya fell silent and turned to look at me.
“I ran out suddenly. So please, stop.”
I was asking her not to corner an innocent person over something that happened because of my mistake. Knowing how wretched that felt, I tugged slightly on Hwaya’s hand as I spoke.
I would be the one to get nagged. I would be the one to get scolded. I would be the one to reflect.
“Forgive me, Madam.”
But the reply that came was:
“That is not possible.”
It was a refusal I had not expected.
“Having failed to fulfill her duty, it is only natural that she be reprimanded and receive due punishment.”
“But I suddenly—”
“No.”
For the first time since I had possessed this body, Hwaya cut me off.
There had been times when she did not accept my opinion, but never had she refused to listen. Yet now, she firmly cut me short and continued.
“Madam is not at fault. It is all the fault of this disloyal child.”
Her tone was as familiar and gentle as ever, but her eyes were so distant that she felt like a different person from the Hwaya I knew.
“No matter what action Madam took, she should have served you well.”
Hwaya took a step closer.
“She should have kept Madam from stepping foot into such a place.”
Unwittingly, I took a step back. In response, Hwaya took another step forward.
Her eyes, fixed directly on mine, seemed to tell me not to run away.
“At the very least, she should have covered your eyes and feigned ignorance, pretended nothing had happened. Since she failed to do so, it is this child’s fault.”
“But—”
“That is Madam’s position.”
For a moment, no words came out, as if my breath were stopped.
Madam’s position. Those words began to spin round and round in my head.
No matter what action I took, the fault was borne by those below me.
If I ran out, Jeongi got scolded. If I went somewhere dangerous, Hwaya took responsibility. That was the mistress of the estate. That was only natural for Ryu Sua, the lady of the house.
A line delivered with loyal devotion to a protagonist who fails to recognize the class divide. That single line felt truly like a cliché.
You know the kind.
The scene where a protagonist who vaguely could not accept the class difference hears those words and renews their resolve.
And then the scene where they can proudly say to the maid or butler offering loyal advice, “Then. Do as I say and stop.”
Or the scene that becomes the cornerstone of the vow to live as the possessed character from now on.
It was a scene I had seen many times, an utterly obvious scene.
If I merely set my mind to it, I could produce lines or actions befitting this situation right away.
But I took another step backward.
“Yes… I’m sorry.”
I slowly let go of Hwaya’s hand.
The vigor with which I had raised my voice to stop her had vanished somewhere, and my voice sank powerlessly.
“I understand what Hwaya is saying too. My mind is not even whole, yet I was too careless.”
Because I was still a cowardly wretch who accepted the goodwill directed at Ryu Sua, yet could not steel myself to live as Ryu Sua.
“But… I was having such a hard time… So, so, for now—”
I just wanted this to end.
If we returned like this, I knew Jeongi would hear the rest of the scolding back at the estate.
Nothing had changed despite my intervention; it simply would not happen before my eyes. I had merely retreated.
Neither opposing Hwaya’s words, nor affirming them.
“For now… couldn’t we just go back…?”
I abandoned the choice and let the opportunity slip away. Because I did not know what answer would be “like Ryu Sua.”
More than being unable to give the answer I believed was right, I was more afraid of these people thinking I was not “Ryu Sua.”
“…”
Hwaya’s sunset-colored eyes, silently gazing at me, seemed to be trying to say something. It felt as though her tightly pressed lips would open at any moment and speak to me.
But Hwaya merely straightened my disheveled clothes.
“Madam. Then shall we return a little early?”
To those words, offered as she tied the knot of my clothes, I replied by silently nodding my head.
Then Hwaya seemed to want to say something more, her lips twitching. But she simply curved them into a faint smile, carefully took my hand, and wordlessly began to walk.
That wordless smile felt terribly heartrending. She looked as though she might sink down and burst into tears at any moment.
It should have been an unfamiliar expression I had never seen during the short time I had spent here, yet a strange certainty filled my heart.
But I simply followed her without a word.
Every decision I had made and acted upon today had ended poorly, so this time, I averted my eyes from the certainty in my heart.
Thus, the silent road back to the estate felt strangely long.
***
It was after the alley where the three of them had stood was completely quiet.
The sound of people’s footsteps and the merchants’ chatter gradually faded into the distance. The alley, chaotic until just now, settled back into its usual silence.
Then.
From beneath the old eaves at the alley entrance, a figure slowly peeled himself away.
It was a man holding a wooden plaque.
The man glanced once at the spot where the people had stood until moments ago, then stroked his chin.
Having stood there for some time, lost in thought, he turned his gaze in the direction the three had gone.
“…Strange.”
The low mutter was soft enough to be drowned by the wind.
The man lowered his eyes for a moment, like someone chewing something over.
“I was certain she had become an imbecile… but she seems more intact than I thought.”
Murmuring so that no one could hear, he quietly slipped out of the alley.