Chapter 143
──────
The Fortunate One V
Shin No-a
-Kyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
Before No Do-ha's muttering could even end, screams erupted from the bunker.
My colleagues were pointing fingers at me, appalled as if they were VIP heretics witnessing Cthulhu's descent in real time.
-Undertaker! It's the Undertaker!
-A Romance of the Three Kingdoms aberration has appeared!
-D-disgusting...! I hate it so much! Just watching him makes me want to grab my earlobes and tear them off...!
My colleagues screamed endlessly.
For the record, I had stacked water bottles near the bunker entrance for exactly this moment. As if possessed, my colleagues grabbed the bottles and hurled them at me.
Amidst the heartwarming sight of water bottles flying in every direction, only I wore a gentle smile.
'Just as planned.'
It was truly an expected phenomenon.
What effect did the 'Savior' aberration originally have? It raised favorability toward me to the maximum—or rather, pushed it past its limits.
And the 'Hated Medicine' is an elixir that carves a reversal spell into the favorability toward its consumer.
The favorability that 'Savior' had pushed past limits in the positive direction was now completely reversed into the negative direction!
In other words.
'Right here and now, my misfortune has descended.'
Though it may seem sudden, I cherished my colleagues.
Being hated this much by such adorable children.
This was a tragedy as devastating as a grandfather hearing his grandchildren say 'Grandpa's hands smell!'
-Brother! No, Undertaker! Just die, please!
-To think I called someone like that 'oppa.' My past self is shameful.
-Wait, sorry to interrupt, but strictly speaking, Ha-yul, you never called him that. You can't speak. Even now, you're speaking through puppet control.
-I hated that illegally hired security guard from the start!
-Horrifying.
Seeing Dang Seo-rin looking at me with those eyes full of disgust, my heart felt like it was being stabbed repeatedly with a needle combo.
"Ah."
Are you watching? The Total Fortune Cap System.
This is a skilled regressor's footwork, this is how to utilize aberrations.
No matter if you've become a Santa Alter waiting to gift me misfortune, if I harvest tremendous misfortune myself 'before' that happens, you're nothing more than a single unemployed Finn in the post-COVID era.
If a regressor decides to make himself unfortunate, what can a mere aberration like you do?
World destruction? Hmm. Would that really be more unfortunate than a single glance of Dang Seo-rin's sincere contempt?
Limb amputation? Well. Even now, the Saintess is alternating between pressing 'pause' and 'play' on time while launching hand axes at my neck in real time.
Incurable disease? Laughable. Cheon Yo-hwa is pulling out hourglasses one after another from the trunk, containing ghosts from Baekhwa Girls' High School, trying to unseal them... No, that one actually was quite dangerous.
I hurried over and knocked Cheon Yo-hwa unconscious.
As the distance between us closed in an instant, my former colleagues convulsed and seized even more violently.
-Die! Die! Please, dieeeee!
-Bastard who couldn't save the world hundreds of times! Incompetent! Because of you, people worldwide are dying hundreds of times! Sanctions!
To understand their reactions, imagine a 2-meter cockroach approaching.
Currently, I, the Undertaker, from others' perspective, am essentially a Reverse-Goyori.
The exact opposite of a demon who wins affection no matter what. In other words, an angel who elicits dislike no matter what has descended here.
Supreme under heaven, I alone am supreme.
'So this is... the view of the world that pink entity always looked down upon.'
How pitiful and insignificant.
"Dok-seo. Are you watching well?"
"Yeah! It's disgusting when you call me by name, Uncle, but it's okay! I'm still aware this is an aberration. But can't you break just one of Uncle's fingers?"
"That would be difficult. I anticipated this, so I didn't train my colleagues too strongly this time."
"As expected of you, Uncle! My protagonist! Respectable! Disgusting! So can you start holding your breath soon, Uncle? Just breathing the same air as you makes this space feel horrible."
"Now, now. You mustn't be bewitched by an aberration. Don't get caught up in emotions—witness the truth. You are the one destined to save the world."
"Fuck, a regressor and a book possessor standing side by side as master and disciple, what a fucking festival of shit...."
No Do-ha cursed while fiddling with his smartphone.
Even as the National Road Management Bureau headquarters descended further into chaos, No Do-ha alone remained the same as always.
The fact that his attitude toward others didn't change at all, regardless of whether favorability was reversed or not, proved No Do-ha's true character. It meant he always treated others—especially me—as something roughly cousins to rat shit.
"Haa...."
Thud. No Do-ha put down his phone.
And wouldn't you know it, he tossed aside the stack of documents piled high on the table.
Yellowish papers (resources were scarce at the end of the world, so even the Bureau Chief used recycled paper) fluttered through the air.
"How long are you going to stand here showing off your thick piss stream? Let's go...."
"Huh? Go where?"
"I don't know, shit. Just a moment ago, the Saintess sent a group quest to all awakened ones via mass text. It says the Undertaker has fallen and is slaughtering humans indiscriminately, so all awakened ones should unite to eliminate him. You're the only one who didn't get the text, you ostracized bastard...."
"Ah."
"Just now, a flood of announcement posts went up on SG Net too. [Nameless Constellation], [Librarian of the Great Library], [Administrator of the Game of All Things], [Morning Star of the Second Coming], [Collector of All Aberrations], and so on.... Heh. A grand national coalition is being formed with murderous intent to take down just you...."
Listening to No Do-ha's words, I saw Seo Gyu and Sim A-ryeon at the very back of the line frantically tapping away at their smartphones.
The Saintess seemed to have called for reinforcements the moment she realized physical attacks didn't work on me. Her pose with eyes closed and hands clasped together was exactly the [Telepathy] concentration stance.
"I, I hate this shitty world so I don't want to work. So let's just go already...."
"Oh."
"I'm saying I'm quitting. You fuck."
I wore the same expression Liu Bei must have had when he heard Zhuge Liang say he was tired of work and returning to farming. Without you, this country will fall?
"As if I care. Let it fall.... Hey, Director Yoo Ji-won."
"Ah. Yes?"
"You're the next Bureau Chief of the National Road Management Bureau."
What.
"I won't do a handover, so figure it out yourself. If you don't know anything and are confused, open safe 36 and refer to the notebook. Unless you're a complete idiot, you'll manage somehow. And don't come looking for me no matter where I disappear to...."
"Ah! Thank you, Your Excellency!"
This can't be.
I was shocked. Yoo Ji-won had finally been promoted to Bureau Chief of the National Road Management Bureau!
If the protagonist of this story were Yoo Ji-won instead of me, Jang Eui-sa, it would have been a success story of a convenience store part-timer who joined the Korean Peninsula's top guild, steadily rose through employee-section chief-department head positions, was finally recruited by the government as an expert, and became president in his 590th iteration.
Is this real? It was real.
While I shuddered at this psychopath's success myth, No Do-ha was packing something into a trunk.
Aside from a few clothes, there wasn't much inside.
No Do-ha was always ready to 'break up' with his job. He kept his personal tools and daily necessities ready in the trunk.
The difference from office workers who always make similar resolutions was that he had actually submitted his resignation.
No Do-ha gripped the trunk handle and looked at me with disdain.
"What are you doing...? I said let's go."
"Hmm."
"Those are eyes asking 'where to.' Well. We need to get out of the Korean Peninsula first. We need to escape the Saintess's [Clairvoyance] reconnaissance range to shake off pursuers for now...."
I couldn't answer immediately.
It was somewhat unexpected.
I had actually predicted that even No Do-ha would be bewitched by the 'Hated Medicine' and curse me.
But No Do-ha was fine. Almost suspiciously so.
'Is it because his favorability toward me wasn't very high to begin with, so reversing it doesn't make a difference?'
Or was it that he poured out so much slander and curses in daily life that I couldn't feel the difference?
Neither was certain.
This 590th iteration was the first time I'd consumed the Hated Medicine.
My basic approach to aberrations as Undertaker was to discover strategies through repeated regressions. The Hated Medicine required more research.
For that research, No Do-ha's sample, who seemed to be an 'exception to the Hated Medicine's effects,' was quite valuable.
"Are you going or not? If not, forget it. I'll just hole up on a remote island...."
"No, wait. Let's go together. Hawaii is too far—how about Saipan or Guam?"
"Saipan? Hmm...."
"Yes. If something happens on the Korean Peninsula, I can cross the sea alone to check and return."
"A resort... Well, every town in this world is equally fucked up anyway, but at least we can set the mood. Fine, let's do it...."
"Dok-seo. Are you coming too?"
Oh Dok-seo smiled broadly.
"No! Uncle, drown and die! Ah, but I want to see the protagonist die, so if you could die right in front of my eyes, I'd be grateful!"
As expected, I was unfortunate.
8
Presidential resignation and a Saipan trip were decided on the spot.
If No Do-ha were American, Air Force One would have landed to kindly escort the former president who just announced his resignation. Unfortunately, the USA collapsed before accepting Korea as its 51st state.
In the end, we had to go to Saipan Island on our own.
It was a resignation ceremony for the ages, so the procession of journalists chasing us was correspondingly grand.
-It's the Undertaker! That bastard is escaping!
-I can only tremble with disgust at the Secretary General's ideological betrayal! The punishment of traitors is the only way to protect ideological purity...! With tears in my eyes, I've summoned the guillotine!
-Wait! Cease fire! That bastard has taken the Bureau Chief hostage!
-What?
-Th-that vicious terrorist bastard! Release the Bureau Chief!
For me too, it wasn't an easy escape route.
First, the Sword Empress blocked my path. True to a martial artist who had crossed blades with me 101 times starting from year one, she now dragged out the match past 200 exchanges.
"Undertaker! How have you strayed from the righteous path and fallen into demonic ways! There is no pain as heartbreaking as watching a former friend become tainted by the demonic path!"
"Well, factually speaking, the phenomenon closest to demonic ways this iteration is actually you...."
During the time the Sword Empress bought, the other awakened ones didn't just play around. They actively created chaos.
"Ah――ah―aaaah――."
First, Dang Seo-rin started singing. This was the biggest problem, so I fled before the fifth melody could emerge.
"Did you miss me, Senior?"
And Cheon Yo-hwa (千謠話) finally released Cheon Yo-hwa (天寥化). Mu-gan, the entity possessing Cheon Yo-hwa's body, spread his inherent barrier around Busan.
Ah, for reference, the way to distinguish the two beings was how they addressed me. Yo-hwa called me 'Teacher' while Mu-gan called me 'Senior.'
[Die.]
And Ha-yul's puppet strings tightened toward my neck from all directions.
The Korean Peninsula, especially Busan, was densely covered with webs Lee Ha-yul had spun. To prepare for aberration invasions, she had protected Busan by both land and sea.
If external invasions could be blocked, internal escapes could be blocked too.
Added to this was the Saintess's [Clairvoyance] and [Telepathy] supporting awakened ones in real time.
"My goodness."
It was power I had raised on the Korean Peninsula, but honestly, I was impressed.
If Sim A-ryeon, who had leveled up to become the Northern Saintess through Zero Requiem, had been there, I might have died. This iteration, I was truly grateful the aliens built the Great Wall for me.
The Sword Empress's sword energy, Dang Seo-rin's song, Cheon Yo-hwa's inherent barrier, Lee Ha-yul's seventeen-part webs, and the Saintess's backup—indeed, even I couldn't escape without sacrifice.
In the end, I gave up one left leg and fled. My lower body as Undertaker had become 50% Ha-yul's version.
I didn't particularly mind. Not only did I have the world's strongest prosthetic knight as my companion, but I calculated that even these small 'misfortunes' would help me.
"No, you actually broke through that...? You really are a crazy bastard...."
No Do-ha, carried on my back, muttered in disbelief.
Even amid that chaos, not a scratch was on No Do-ha's body.
"If I'd had a bit more time, I would have used the Judgement Bureau aberrations, but it can't be helped. We'll continue across the sea to Saipan like this."
"Water keeps splashing on me anyway. Can't you avoid the waves a bit more...?"
"The waves were just born and I've lived over ten thousand years—the young waves should avoid me."
"Haa...."
Frontline breakthrough successful.
The open sea stretched out before us for a while.
I boarded the airship Savoia S-21 I had waiting on Tsushima Island. It was the same light aircraft I had used when strategizing against Cheon Yo-hwa and Mu-gan.
Not long after boarding the airship, we were able to land on Saipan, once famous as a resort destination.
-Ukikik.
From somewhere, mixed with the sound of waves, I thought I heard monkey laughter.