Age 5 (8)
-Bweeeeeeh!
Why won’t it stop already?
“What should we do? Shouldn’t someone go make her stop crying?”
“What if her eyes swell up like that?”
“But how is even her crying cute?”
“Someone go comfort her.”
My wailing must have been loud. Every staff member on set was drawn to me, all eyes fixed on me.
-Bweeeeh!
The tears won’t stop at all, so now I’m really starting to feel miserable.
I’m going crazy.
It’s my own body, yet I can’t control it.
Mom, too, is mindful of the people around us, trying to hurry up and comfort me.
“Dohui, look at Mommy. Peekaboo~”
“...? Bweeeeh.”
The hell kind of peekaboo is this?
Do they seriously see me as a baby?
Since the crying won’t stop, a man who appears to be the advertiser approaches.
“Princess, why are you crying so much~”
-Bweeeeh!
Calling me a princess? Damn it, huuu-uuun, I’m ruined, huuun!
From crying so much, my throat grows hoarse.
I naturally drink the aloe juice next to me.
But the moment I drink it, the crying stops.
Huh? Why did it stop?
The tears that wouldn’t stop no matter how hard I tried cease the instant I plug my mouth.
I should have plugged my mouth sooner.
- Clap, clap, clap -
The director, who had been watching from afar, suddenly applauds.
The hell?
The staff also look at the director as if bewildered.
“There’s no need to film more commercials. Let’s go with this scene.”
Huh?
“The camera captured everything, so let’s edit this and go with it as is. Everyone, get ready to go home.”
Director, what did you say?
You’re using this as a commercial?
Are you trying to torture me?
“A healthy drink for our child that soothes even a crying kid with one sip—let’s go with this as is.”
Having heard the director’s words, the staff seem to agree and naturally begin preparing to break down the set.
Wait, why isn’t anyone saying we should film again?
More than that, what about my permission?
Hey, advertiser, why are you just standing there staring? Do something!
But contrary to my wishes, even the advertiser is nodding in satisfaction.
-Bweeeeeeh!
The tears that had barely stopped burst out again like a geyser.
A dark history already? I was trying to live a perfect life, but I’m already ruined, huuuun.
Having finished manufacturing that dark history, on the way home—
I had cried so much that my body was exhausted; I slept until we arrived home.
That evening
Since coming home, Mom has been busy teasing me all day long.
“Well, our daughter was acting up so much that I accidentally flicked her forehead, and would you believe it, she cried for ages.”
“Puhahaha, really? Dohui cried? Wow, it’s such a shame I missed that. We haven’t seen our daughter cry since she was two.”
“Stop it...”
“I was worried because Dohui is so mature and never cries, but you’re just a baby after all, a baby. Come here, our baby~ Want some of Mommy’s milk?”
“Oh dear, she’ll cry again. Stop teasing her. Our princess, Daddy will hug you. Come here~”
Dad, who’s trying to stop her, is even more hateful.
“I said stop... It wasn’t me crying...”
I’m telling you, my body just reacted reflexively!
“So what? If not our daughter, who cried?”
“No, that’s not what I mean!”
“Oh my, our daughter cried so much her eyes are all puffy? Daddy should give you a face massage.”
“Bwaaaack!”
I close the door and lie down on the bed.
Even with my eyes closed, today’s events swirl in my head.
That night, I don’t know how many times I kicked the blanket.
Two months after manufacturing that dark history, summer had arrived before I knew it.
Over those two months, Mom’s pregnant belly had gradually grown.
Mom and Dad spent each day excitedly watching the growing belly,
and I, too, had been building my abilities, repeating study, exercise, and piano according to a steady routine for two months.
Under normal circumstances, it should have been two months where I felt proud of myself improving day by day, but as time passed, only my anxiety grew.
And finally, that day came.
Starting today, my dark history is broadcast vividly.
The first commercial, on network TV.
Ah.
Mom is busy promoting the commercial I’m in.
Kwon Juhui
June 2, 2012, 11:40 AM
Today is the day our daughter’s commercial airs for the first time~
Please stay tuned to channel 7 at 5:55~
(A photo taken in front of flowers during a picnic)
Unsatisfied with simply posting a promotional message on social media, Mom even calls her acquaintances.
“Hey, Minha, the commercial comes out at 5:55 on channel 7 today, so make sure you watch it, okay?”
-Oh, really? I should watch our future daughter-in-law’s commercial-
To the piano teacher as well:
“Teacher, today is the first broadcast of our Dohui’s commercial~”
“Oh my, really? I’ll make sure to watch it when I get home.”
“Teacher... Do you have to watch it?”
“Dohui, you’re shy, aren’t you? It’s okay, our Dohui is pretty no matter what she does~”
Please... stop...
Before I knew it, broadcast time had arrived.
With a desperate struggle, I tried snatching the remote and even unplugging the TV, but my weak, young body was easily subdued by Mom.
Come to think of it, this dark history is also the fault of this young body.
If only I could become at least a middle schooler already...
Our family is sitting in front of the TV waiting for the commercial.
A group viewing of my dark history... kill me...
“Honey, it’s almost 5:55.”
“Oppa, I’m nervous. How did she turn out? Hah.”
“I don’t want to watch.”
“Tsk-tsk, where is our daughter going?”
I tried not to watch even if I was the only one, but I was held in Mom’s arms and forced to watch.
“Hehe, is Daddy finally seeing our daughter cry?”
“..... Shut your trap and watch quietly.”
Despite my rough way of speaking, Mom and Dad are beaming, simply enjoying the teasing.
Mom, who had been staring at the screen, shouts.
“Oh! It’s starting!”
On the screen, an adorably cute girl dressed up prettily in a chair is crying.
To think she’s this cute; I really don’t know who she is, haha.
Even on screen, her visuals are perfect. I look forward to her growth.
Who is she really?
Hahaha.
Haah.
The girl takes a sip of aloe juice and stops crying at once with wide, round eyes.
Watching only the commercial, it looks like she stopped her tears because of the juice’s sweetness.
The truth is, I plugged my mouth, so the tears stopped at once, okay?
“Keke, our daughter is so cute. How did your tears stop just from one sip of a drink? Was the juice that delicious?”
“That’s not it...”
“Aww, our pretty baby, let’s live with Mommy forever~”
“...”
As the commercial ends, Dad smiles and speaks to Mom.
“Honey, let’s download this video and treasure it forever.”
“I already arranged to get the original file from the ad agency staff~”
Please stop...
“Well done, our pretty princess. Can Daddy brag about this to his coworkers??”
“Don’t...”
“Yeah, should I?”
“I said don’t...”
Mom uploaded the commercial video she received from the ad agency to her social media and began promoting it again.
And as the commercial’s exposure increased, Mom’s social media follower count grew rapidly.
Kwon Juhui
July 2, 2012, 6:46 PM
[My Daughter’s Commercial]
Isn’t she so cute?
Our princess, who hardly ever cries, sobbed her heart out that day
Please enjoy watching her prettily~
(Aloe juice commercial video)
└Oh my, the baby is so cute~
└Wow, her features are already perfect
└I came here after watching the commercial~
└Wow, first time seeing such a pretty kid, but is it normal to like the baby’s mom more than the baby?
└Isn’t this guy crazy
└Then you like the kid more? You pedo bastard
└No ;;
└Please check your DMs~ We’d like to request an ad
└Grow up just like this..
└Damn, did the husband save the country in a past life? The wife is crazy pretty and the daughter is insane
└Check out the husband’s pic, he’s handsome too. Must have been a helmsman of the Turtle Ship in a past life
└Damn, please, at least a 3cm dick
└Hello, this is a child actor specialized agency. We would appreciate it if you could read your DM
“Dohui, look at this. People really like you?”
“... Yeah.”
“What’s wrong? You don’t like it?”
“No...”
“If Dohui wants, should we shoot some more commercials?”
“I don’t want to...”
I know, too.
If you only look at the commercial, it’s just a cute 5-year-old baby crying.
So it’s not a dark history at all.
Rather, people will watch it with warm smiles.
If anyone asks what was so sad to cry about, I can just say I was acting, and that would be enough.
But there is a saying like this.
The only flaw of a counterfeit that even an appraiser can’t distinguish is that the person themself knows it’s a counterfeit.
I am the same.
Others will think of me as a 5-year-old baby and look at me cutely.
But I know my mental age is in my 30s...
For about a week after the commercial aired, I couldn’t sleep properly.
After that, as days passed, more and more people recognized me.
By my previous life’s standards, this is the period when internet broadcasting is just rising and YouTube is becoming active.
It’s still a time when television and network TV are the true mainstream platforms.
It was a day after the commercial aired, when I went grocery shopping with Mom.
While taking the elevator down to the parking lot, I ran into an elderly couple.
The grandmother looked at me and spoke to Mom.
“Oh my, the baby is so pretty. But I feel like I’ve seen her somewhere? The child from the TV commercial, right?”
“Haha, yes, that’s right.”
The grandfather looked at me with a proud smile, as if looking at a grandchild showing off tricks, and said,
“So a superstar was living in our apartment! Hehe, baby, would you give Grandpa an autograph?”
“I don’t have anything like an autograph...”
“Hehe, then Grandpa was wrong. The baby takes after her mother, so pretty.”
“Oh, you’re too kind~”
After meeting the elderly couple, where I felt the ripple effect of TV for the first time—
At the supermarket as well.
“Oh my, didn’t this baby appear on TV?”
An employee who recognized me and asked Mom.
“Mom, that’s the kid from TV!”
“Oh my, really?”
A mother and son who came out to shop.
Even while paying for items.
“Huh? Come to think of it, you look like the child from that aloe commercial? Is it you?”
“Haha, yes, it’s me.”
Etc...
More people recognized me than I thought.
Becoming famous is nice.
Nothing boosts your self-esteem like becoming someone others envy.
But why, oh why, did I have to become famous for my dark history? Kiyaaaaaak!
Starting today, I decided to lock myself inside the house and not come out until the day the commercial stops airing and things quiet down.