*
Creeeak__
“Hey, guys..? Can we talk for a second..?”
I carefully opened the door and, poking out only my head, called out to the doggos.
I’d tried calling them because, since they were spiritual creatures, I wondered if they could understand human speech.
Roll roll roll roll
“Um, guys?”
Crunch, creeeak, crack, craaack, crnch
“Guys??”
My voice was buried beneath the sound of them rolling over fallen trees, beneath the noise of them crushing massive trunks that would normally require heavy equipment to log as if they were cotton pillows.
“Ugh, just calling them is totally pointless.”
No, seriously, how hard are their backs for them to sound like a wood chipper?
Calling out in a normal voice wasn’t going to do anything.
Should I try calling them from closer?
Thinking they might calm down a little if they could see me, I slipped out through the door.
Leaving the door open, I carefully took a step forward and slowly, very slowly, approached the doggos.
“Guys? Our cute... I mean, majestic wolves, could you look over here for a moment?”
The two enormous wolves were still busy pulverizing a giant tree.
Did I need to get even closer?
After taking a deep breath, I boldly moved forward exactly five steps.
It was only a few steps, but surely this was close enough for them to hear my voice.
I called out to the doggos in a louder voice than before.
“Guys? Please, look over here now, kyaaaaak!”
A piece of wood came flying at me mid-sentence.
Calling it a piece of wood was generous. That one fragment was the size of my torso.
Thanks to throwing myself out of the way in a hurry, I survived for now.
Yes. For now.
The problem was that the closer I got, the more violently the doggos thrashed around.
Roll roll roll roll
I threw myself to the left to dodge a flying chunk of wood.
“Guys! Stop for a second and listen to me, please..!”
Crunch, crack, creeeak, crnch, smash
Then I dodged to the right, and even though I kept calling out with all my might, there was no response.
No, it wasn’t that there was no response. They were just completely ignoring me.
“No, stop that for a second and listen to me—ah, fuck, seriously!!!”
They’re ignoring me?
Huh? That pisses me off.
I’d tried my absolute best to create a heartwarming first meeting because I’d been told they were good kids, and my efforts had been ignored.
If they were going to be like this, then I had another method.
I gave up on attempting conversation and entered the Gallery Shop.
[Welcome to the Gallery ‘Head Mod-Only Shop’!]
[Training Dog Whistle (For Aggressive Dogs) - 50P]
[Does your aggressive dog ignore you? Try using this! It will focus on you immediately!]
[Blowing it too loudly may stress your pet.]
[Would you like to purchase it?]
[ YES / NO ]
“Yes.”
You’re the ones who trampled on my kind heart.
Starting our first meeting with an item instead of conversation might not be ideal, but it couldn’t be helped.
I took in a deep breath.
Piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii—!
And blew the whistle with all my strength until I had no breath left to give.
Then the two enormous wolves, startled, stopped rolling and looked at me.
This was extremely scary.
Honestly, I’d ended up doing it because I entered the “huh? that pisses me off” state midway through...
But after hearing that incredible low growl, I started to regret it. Maybe being crushed to death inside the bunker would have been better.
But it was already too late.
Turn around and run? My back would be shredded to rags.
Get scared and cry? My organs would end up putting on a show in front of my body.
At times like this, I had to be shameless instead.
Shameless enough that they’d wonder, What the hell is this guy?
“Doggos, attention.”
“I can let you roll around on a soft bed instead of hard trees. What do you think? Want to come with me? I’ll give you plenty of food too.”
Do you want to live with me?
Shamelessly, I demanded an interview for the position of doggo butler.
*
[Aren’t our doggos cute?ㅠㅠ]
Author: Head Mod
- (picture of a house-sized wolf eating)
I worked up my courage and approached them after listening to ‘BooksCanBeEatenToo,’ and we got friendly, hehe.
(picture of human-sized wood chunks embedded in trees throughout the forest)
I almost died while approaching them, but anyway, I succeeded in getting friendly with them ㅇㅅㅇ
It’s all thanks to you, BookEater. Thank you!
Recommendations: +9999 Dislikes: 7
(Comments)
- Oh wow, ultra-giant doggos ㄷㄷ
- Why does Head Mod’s tone keep changing every time he writes posts or comments? Do you have split personalities?
ㄴ(Head Mod) I was actually worrying about that, so thanks for pointing it out. From now on, I’ll keep it like this, okay?
ㄴ Why are you fixing it on the rude tone though lolol
-(ClipClopClipClop) I want to have them pull merchant caravan wagons. Then nobody would be able to touch usㅠㅠ
ㄴ If you did business while dragging those around, wouldn’t nobody come near you and your business would fail?
ㄴ That’s just taking cargo-carrying doggos out for a walk lolol
-(ReformIsNeeded) I’m jealous... I’m the only one without doggos...
ㄴ Can you not raise animals in the imperial palace? I’m sure I heard there used to be tons of rare animals there in the past.
ㄴ(ReformIsNeeded) That is a story from before the Great Calamity. It was long, long before I was born...
ㄴ(IRespectHerHighnessTheCrownPrincess) Stay strong, Your Highness! I shall become Your Highness’s dog instead!! Woof! Woof woof woof!!
ㄴ(CrownPrincessFootstool) Who would like a male dog like you with hairy legs? Her Highness would prefer a pretty, obedient female dog like me.
ㄴ(ReformIsNeeded) I do not need that. And it is embarrassing, so please stop...
ㄴ The Crown Princess publicly executed by her loyal subjects lololol
-(MasterOfHoldingFireBreath) You truly tamed Silbaraes..? How on earth did you do it?
ㄴ(Head Mod) I got their attention and gave them food, and they liked it? Why? Do you need food too?
ㄴ He’s applying the rude tone perfectly lolol
ㄴ(MasterOfHoldingFireBreath) I am not joking! This is the first time those children have ever been tamed!
ㄴ Maybe they just can be tamed, why are you overreacting so much, old man;;
ㄴ(WorldTreeGuardian) Are they truly Silbaraes? It has been so long since I last saw them!
ㄴ It’s been ages since I’ve seen WTG too!
ㄴ(WorldTreeGuardian) What on earth is WTG supposed to mean?? I am curious!
ㄴ It’s short for World Tree Guardian!
ㄴ(WorldTreeGuardian) Eek..! That is too terrible! Do not call me that ever again!
-(AnimalLover) Where on earth is that place? Please tell me! That fur, please give me a chance to touch that fur...!
ㄴ Are you really an animal lover? Something feels off here.
ㄴ Suspicious young man.
ㄴ Fur lolol
After risking my life in a gamble and succeeding in feeding the doggos, I wanted to tell everyone about my life-and-death struggle, so I immediately wrote a post.
“Why is nobody reacting to the picture of wood stuck in trees? That was what I wrote the post to show...”
Setting aside my disappointment, I turned my gaze to the doggos, who were wolfing down their food.
Watching them gulp down the feed and meat poured over the plastic sheet, I swallowed.
Not because the food looked delicious.
These guys were way too big.
If they raised their front legs, wouldn’t they be taller than the fourth floor of a building?
Since I’d applied for the position of butler, I had to prepare a comfortable home for them, but I had no idea how to even begin.
For now, I should refill the food that was vanishing like water.
If that food ran out, I might be next.
[You have purchased 4 bags of “It Has to Be This or I Hate It, Woof! Premium Dog Food” (15kg).]
I stacked it as high as I could so these massive friends could eat comfortably, then carefully spoke to them.
“Um, guys..? It’s not because I have any other intention, it’s really just that you’re too big...”
>
At my words, the two enormous wolves stopped eating for a moment and looked at me at the same time.
This was bad for my heart.
If this happened a few more times, wouldn’t my heart suddenly stop?
“So I’m trying to tell you that bringing you inside the house might be a little difficult... No, of course I’ll make a place for you to stay up above, okay? I’m not breaking my promise, all right?”
Maybe because my heart was pounding so hard, I rambled on incoherently.
Still, after somehow managing to get my meaning across, I looked up at the doggos.
Then the two of them looked at each other and blinked, as if they were talking.
And one of them brought its face close to me.
Lick—
And licked me.
“Eek.”
You weren’t tasting me, right?
“Please don’t eat me, I’ll give you more food, so just calm down a little and let’s talk...”
Covered in drool, I freaked out and staggered backward.
Two wolves capable of swallowing me in one bite licking me and then staring straight at me—wasn’t this cosmic horror?
While I was too terrified to run away or hide, the wolves began to howl.
>
Together with the sound of howling, an intense cluster of light burst from the bodies of the two creatures.
I hurriedly covered my eyes with my arm and turned away from where the light was shining.
What on earth was happening?
My thoughts froze at the sight of light bursting from the wolves’ bodies.
After the light faded, I rubbed my aching eyes and turned my gaze back to where the wolves had been.
“No, what kind of wolf flashbangs people with its body—”
““Woof!””
And far below my line of sight, cute doggos were wagging their tails.
“Uh... wolves?”
““Woof!””
When I pointed at them and asked, the two doggos barked as if answering.
The ultra-giant doggos that had been as tall as a three-story building had turned into cute doggos that could fit snugly in one arm.
Did they understand me saying they were too big and change their size?
Doggos that understood human speech?
I couldn’t let this pass.
Partly to give them names and partly to verify it, I asked them a question.
“If you really understand what I’m saying, answer me. Got it?”
The most important thing when deciding names was, of course—
“Male doggo, bark!”
“Woof!”
Wasn’t it gender?
The one on the right puffed out his chest and barked energetically.
“Then this time, female doggo, bark!”
“Woof!”
Then the doggo on the left barked energetically.
These cute little things understood every word humans said!
“So that’s what it means to be spiritual creatures? You guys are seriously amazing.”
““Woof!””
Maybe they were happy to be praised, because after barking at the same time, they panted and wagged their tails wildly.
I’d gotten a kind secretary, secured a house, and even gained two cute doggos to live with me in that house.
It was my first time raising dogs... No, they weren’t dogs to begin with.
In any case, they were family I’d be living with from now on, so I had to give them very cool names.
“Do you guys have names? I was thinking of naming you.”
At that, the doggos looked at me with eyes that had already been sparkling, now shining even brighter.
It seemed they didn’t have names.
A very cool name that would stick in your mind the moment you heard it—one just so happened to come to me.
I pointed at them one by one and gave the doggos their names.
“You on the left are Hero, and you on the right are Champion.”
““...””
The tail-copters that had been wagging excitedly stopped, and I felt their gazes grow sharper and sharper.
“What’s wrong? You don’t like them—kyaaaaak! That hurts! I said it hurts! Stop biting me and let go..!”
These brats dared to bite their master?
Originally, if they didn’t like the names, I’d been planning to choose again, but not anymore.
The doggos’ names were Hero and Champion.
That was final.