Clank.
The door of the mortuary refrigerator opened, and a man covered in a white sheet slid out with a rattle.
The attendant pulled back the white cloth.
“Please confirm his identity.”
On the cold metal tray lay a stranger.
He was, without a doubt, the father in my memories.
My father, who had been like a demon.
The father who would swing his fists whenever he saw me,
who had said he would take a knife and gouge out my eyes.
It was definitely him.
And yet, it was strange.
The father lying in the morgue
was not as big, not as frightening, not as vicious as the father in my memories.
There was only a powerless old man lying there.
Only a small, thin, wrinkled man lying there.
My heart was in turmoil.
An emotion I couldn’t identify welled up inside me.
“If this is your father, please sign here.”
The attendant held out the documents, and I signed them.
After receiving my signature, the attendant asked again.
“Have you reserved a funeral hall?”
“No. I was living overseas and just came back, so I haven’t looked into a funeral hall yet.”
“Would you like me to recommend a few places?”
“I’d like to keep it as simple as possible. Is there a suitable place for that?”
“As simple as possible?”
“Yes. Ideally, somewhere where I don’t have to do much of anything.”
“Still, won’t there be mourners?”
“No. There won’t be any mourners. I just need a space where I can hold an extremely simple funeral.”
“In that case, there’s a place here that’s used as a temporary memorial altar. They sometimes hold public funerals there. If you take a look and think even that place is all right...”
“It’s fine. I’ll do it there.”
The attendant looked flustered, as if he found it strange that I agreed so readily without even checking the space, but he soon changed his expression and said he would prepare it so I could use it right away.
“What about food? Should I at least give you the contact information for a catering company?”
“No. I won’t be serving food either.”
The attendant tilted his head, but accepted my decision as it was.
I was grateful to him and tried to show a bit of appreciation, but,
“Oh, no, you really can’t do this here. I’ll accept the thought. I’ll get things ready for now, so please let me know if you need anything.”
After saying that, the attendant left first to make preparations.
I remained quietly inside the morgue, alone with my father.
This was the first time it had ever been this quiet when it was just the two of us.
.
.
.
A temporary funeral altar was set up.
There wasn’t even a photograph.
All I had placed there was a bag of snacks and a bottle of soju.
“I could put up a lot of better things for you, but what’s the point of eating well? You’ll just cause trouble over there too. So only eat a little.”
“Even this is too much. I’ll drink half.”
I poured soju to the brim in a paper cup and gulped it down.
Drinking soju on an empty stomach made me feel nauseous for a moment.
Forcing down the urge to vomit, I kept drinking the soju.
Then I sat there blankly.
No one came.
I didn’t take out my smartphone either.
There was only terrible silence and stillness.
It was so quiet that I felt as if I could hear my own heartbeat.
It felt as if the only thing beating in this place was my heart.
And so, listening to the sound of my heart, I sat there without doing anything at all.
.
.
.
.
A warm sensation reached me.
It was cozy.
Where was this again?
Was it the Philippines?
No? Congo?
Or was it the military?
But the guys aren’t here.
Ah. Right.
My father’s funeral.
I must have dozed off.
No, am I still asleep?
But what is this warm feeling?
When I opened my eyes to check, I found myself covered with a soft-looking blanket.
A heater was running gently down by my feet.
Did the attendant bring these?
Thinking I should give him something, anything, before I left, I got up—and saw a familiar person.
“Daehun.”
“You should’ve slept a little more. You looked exhausted.”
Daehun was sitting beside me, watching me sleep.
It seemed Daehun had brought the blanket and heater too.
“No. I should get up. But how did you know to come here?”
“Department Head Nam contacted me.”
“Department Head Nam Yongu?”
“Yeah. Who was it again? Sandro?”
“Yeah. Director Sandro.”
“Sandro contacted Department Head Nam. He said you suddenly rushed back to Korea, and that you seemed a bit strange. That you even left Scott behind. Since the only person connected to our organization was Department Head Nam, he asked him to check where you were and what you were doing. So we traced your phone location, and the guys searched the whole area. We barely managed to find you.”
Only then did I notice the organization members standing behind Daehun.
They didn’t just fill the small mourning room; it seemed like people were out in the hallway too.
I felt needlessly sorry.
“You should’ve woken me up, then.”
“You looked like you were sleeping too deeply.”
Just then, Geunsu came to Daehun’s side and bowed politely at a ninety-degree angle.
“Hyungnim, it’s been a long time. Please accept my deepest condolences.”
“Thanks.”
“You should move from this mourning room to another place. We’ve already finished all the preparations.”
“It’s fine. I had my own reasons for quietly holding the funeral here.”
Daehun added his voice.
“Don’t say that. Let’s move. We should send him off properly.”
“I don’t want to.”
“Come on...”
“This suits that man better. His end should be miserable.”
“Still, this isn’t right.”
“Daehun. You know. You know what kind of life I lived. Sending that kind of man off properly? That’s impossible for me. Even that one bottle of soju is more than he deserves. I’m already mustering a lot of courage just to hold a funeral for him.”
“You’ll regret it later. You’re going to regret it. I’m telling you to move for your sake, not your father’s.”
“What?”
“If you send him off like this, you’ll regret it later. Or you’ll at least be left with regret. It’s not difficult. Just stay still. I’ll take care of everything.”
“I...”
“You see the guys standing back there, right? How are they supposed to pay their respects and send off your father here? I’m asking you, even if it’s for my sake.”
Seeing the men in suits filling the cramped space, I felt sorry for no reason.
“I’ve become a nuisance.”
“A nuisance? At times like this, you’re supposed to lean on people. And at times like this, instead of saying you’re a nuisance, you say thank you, you bastard.”
.
.
.
The funeral hall changed.
The funeral hall that had been bare and empty,
with only a bottle of soju and a bag of snacks placed on a small table,
became the biggest, widest, and best funeral hall in Mokpo,
with chrysanthemums arranged around my father’s photograph and food laid out beneath it on elegant ritual vessels.
Condolence wreaths lined the hallway, and people in black suits began taking turns paying their respects and carrying food to the guests.
In the photograph, my father was expressionless, as if he had no emotions at all.
Daehun had found a photograph of my father even though I didn’t have one.
“How did you get the photo? I don’t even have one.”
“We’ve taken over all the way to Mokpo, haven’t we? I sent the guys out with his name and a rough description, and the photo came right up.”
“Where did you find it? A gambling den?”
“Huh? Uh... yeah, that’s how it turned out.”
Daehun came,
and once the funeral hall changed,
the funeral suddenly became lively.
They said it was the biggest funeral hall in Mokpo.
I wondered how we could possibly fill such a large funeral hall,
but men in black suits were already filling the place.
Back when we took over Gunsan, Daehun had introduced me as the real boss.
The problem was that there were guys who actually believed it.
A joke should be taken as a joke. Why would they believe something like that?
Especially you, Geunsu, Daehun’s right-hand man—you shouldn’t believe something like that.
You should be the one sorting things out in the middle.
I’m just Daehun’s friend.
Some passing uncle.
That’s how you should organize it and tell the juniors.
What am I supposed to do if you’re the most formal one of all?
Thanks to that, a rumor spread that the father of the boss of the Daehun faction had passed away,
and countless people connected to the Daehun faction, which had already taken control of the entirety of Jeollanam-do and Jeollabuk-do centered around Gunsan, as well as parts of Chungcheongnam-do, sent wreaths and began coming to pay their respects.
Daehun stood beside me and received mourners with me.
People neither I nor my father had ever seen lined up and saw my father off at the end.
I didn’t like this situation.
My father’s end should have been shabby, but this was far too grand.
Perhaps sensing how I felt, Daehun said,
“This isn’t for your father. It’s for us. Look over there.”
Where Daehun pointed, there were people I had seen often.
With Sandro at the front, Patrick, Scott, Department Head Nam Yongu, Anna, Manager Kang Jaeho, and even Im Yuna were standing there.
All the organization members Sandro brought around with him were standing behind them as well.
The funeral hall, already packed with people, became even more crowded.
Sandro and his group bowed.
Behind them, Department Head Nam was telling them what to do, explaining Korean funeral customs.
It was funny.
Filipinos were bowing to my father.
I didn’t know whether my father deserved such luxurious treatment,
but even so, I could only be grateful to Sandro and the others for coming all the way here.
After bowing, Sandro looked at me.
“If something like this happened, you should have told us before leaving. How could you just disappear like that?”
“Sorry. I was overwhelmed too.”
“I understand. For now, don’t think about anything else. Just send your father off properly. We’ll take care of the rest.”
“No. Daehun will do that. Sandro, thank you for coming all this way too. I don’t know if the food will suit your taste, but eat here, or go out and buy something. There are decent restaurants around here...”
“It’s fine. We’ll handle that ourselves. Department Head Nam here said he’d take care of everything. And Daehun emptied out an entire hotel nearby for us so we can rest. So don’t worry about us. Just focus on sending your father off.”
“Thanks.”
I found out later.
That Sandro had chartered a private plane to come here.
There were many people who wanted to come, and booking tickets was difficult, so he had simply chartered a plane.
Because of that, a somewhat funny scene unfolded.
Korean gangsters and Filipino gangsters were sitting amicably together, drinking soju.
Daehun and Sandro drank soju together with yukgaejang,
while Scott and Geunsu helped pour drinks beside them.
And it wasn’t just them.
All the organization members were drinking.
From the bosses down to the lowest members, everyone had gathered in groups of three or five, sitting around and talking.
They shouldn’t even be able to communicate,
but they talked using their hands and feet along with their words.
I don’t know what they found so entertaining, but laughter rang out here and there.
It felt less like a funeral and more like a team-building trip or a picnic.
“Boss. Are you going to keep doing this?”
I turned my head toward the voice and saw CEO Jang Yunmi and the Seoul office employees standing there.
“If something like this happens, you should contact us... You should. I keep feeling hurt these days. It feels like you’ve completely abandoned the Seoul office and only care about the Bohol office.”
“That’s not true. The Seoul office is in good hands with our CEO.”
“As if. Anyway, I’ll see you later. I’m very angry right now.”
“All right. You can take it all out on me later.”
With that cute complaint, Jang Yunmi bowed and moved off to eat.
But why are you going to the table where Sandro is?
Right.
When Jang Yunmi first came for an inspection last time, the two of them got along really well, didn’t they?
As soon as they saw each other, they began giggling and laughing.
There were more and more people.
They said it was the biggest mourning room in Mokpo, but even that wasn’t enough.
So we decided to use the mourning room right next to it as well.
It seemed Daehun hadn’t been lying when he said he had taken over Mokpo.
At one word from Daehun, everything proceeded smoothly.
Strictly speaking, from the standpoint of a funeral, it was a complete mess,
and the atmosphere of drinking, laughing, and chatting didn’t suit a funeral at all,
but it was actually nice.
I was simply grateful for the fact that all these people had come for me.
I gave up on the idea of making it as shabby as possible.
Now, I would try to spend this time as joyfully as possible.
When I thought about it, it wasn’t easy to gather everyone like this.
Maybe this was the last gift my father left me.
Even if my father hadn’t given it to me, I decided to think of it that way.
My father can give me at least one gift, can’t he?
He can leave behind at least one good memory, can’t he?
I will accept this memory of today as that gift.
That memory won’t solve everything, but at the very least, it will give me the strength to walk forward anew.
My father gave me violence and abuse,
but I will take today’s scenery with me from him.
Daehun’s words, telling me to move the funeral hall for my own sake, suddenly came to me differently.
He was right. This was a funeral for me.
If we hadn’t moved the funeral hall, I wouldn’t have even had this chance.
I was grateful.
Rather than living with the fact that I was a nuisance, I wanted to live feeling grateful to them.
I wanted to live among these people, jostling together with them.