“Okapi Sting... has had an accident.”
Huh?
What?
My brain short-circuited instantly.
The words were not in their right places.
Okapi Sting and accident were an ill-fitting combination.
But an accident?
A situation like this
was something I had never been trained for,
and had never imagined.
So I didn't know what to do.
I just broke down.
When I stood there blankly for quite some time,
perhaps finding it strange, Officer Seong Junhui shook me and called my name.
“Sergeant Gong Inbae? Sergeant Gong Inbae?”
“Y-... yes?”
“You seemed completely out of it....”
“Ah... I think I need to return to my unit first.”
“Yes. I'll check the flight schedule first.”
“Please get me on the fastest one possible.”
.
.
.
“Fuck. What is this?”
As I entered the base, eleven Taegeukgi were waiting for me.
Our team was lying down, wrapped in the Taegeukgi.
“Fuck. What the hell is this. Get up!!! Why are you lying down?”
“Team Leader. Get up. Why are you lying down!!!!”
“We have to go home~~ Get up.
“We don't have much time left until we go home.”
“We promised to go fishing together. You said you'd teach me.”
“How can you just lie here like this? Get up, open your eyes.”
“Open your eyes, you fucking bastard. Open your eyes!!!!”
No matter how much I shook them and tried to lift them, our team didn't move.
All eleven of them lay there without anyone moving.
So I lay down next to them too.
No matter how much I tried to lift them, they wouldn't get up.
I lay beside them.
Because they wouldn't get up,
I lay down.
That was the only way I could be with our team.
Quietly, I covered my head with the Taegeukgi.
.
.
.
“While you were in Kinshasa, the security operation resumed. The rebel movements were strange.”
“We kept getting reports that a large-scale smuggling operation would take place.”
“We told them to take the safest route,
“They radioed that they’d found rebel traces and would change the route... Shortly after, the last radio message said it was an ambush, a booby trap, and that they would retreat. We immediately dispatched a support unit, but by the time we reached the scene, it was already over.”
“I'm sorry. I should have stopped them.”
The commander apologized to me.
But I did not accept that apology.
Without a word, just as when the commander had sent me to Kinshasa, I left the commander's office.
Back then, the Team Leader had scolded me,
but now, there is no one to scold me.
This is the right thing to do.
It is the wrong thing to do, so I shouldn't.
There is no one to tell me so.
There is no one by my side.
.
.
.
A plane landed at Seoul Airport.
Amidst the gathered military honor guard and bereaved families, a repatriation ceremony for the remains was held.
The coffins draped in Taegeukgi were slowly transported,
and the honor guard escorted them.
The bereaved families were wailing beside them.
All familiar faces.
People who had eaten facing one another, who had shared stories, were crying.
I was ashamed,
ashamed to have survived alone, so I couldn't even get off the plane.
From inside the plane, I secretly watched their grief.
Not long after, a funeral ceremony was held, and they were interred at the National Cemetery.
.
.
.
I returned with my team.
The other team members, to the National Cemetery.
I returned to the International Peace Support Unit.
I was assigned the same quarters I had used before.
I returned to the place where I had taken down Staff Sergeant Lee Wonjun,
to the place where they had celebrated my arrival here.
********
I requested discharge.
I have to go kill all those Congolese bastards.
I can't die to other bastards before I kill them.
So I have to go quickly.
First come, first served.
“No.”
“Why not?”
“You still have mandatory service time left. If you are discharged now, you won't be fulfilling your military service obligation.”
“It doesn't matter. I will re-enlist later as a private and fulfill my service obligation.”
“Don't do that. If you do, your whole record will be completely twisted. I'll send you somewhere comfortable, so just rest. Just breathe. You weren't going to stay for extended service anyway. Just go there and breathe, I won't touch you.”
“I don't want to. Please discharge me.”
“I said no. And there's no regulation for that either. So just stay put. I'll transfer you to a comfortable post.”
“Then I'll just desert.”
“Don't do that. If you desert, it causes trouble for many others. Just wait for now. I'll look for a way.”
“Yes.”
********
They said I needed psychiatric treatment.
They said it was mandatory for those who had suffered severe mental shock.
“Please tell me comfortably about what happened.”
“.........”
I did not say anything.
Because I was too bewildered.
How the fuck am I supposed to tell this story comfortably?
How the fuck do I do this?
Should I kill this bastard?
Should I smash his head with the flowerpot in front of me, then stab his neck deeply with a greatsword?
Should I strangle him with the power cord?
Or should I take a pistol out of my inventory and put a few rounds in his head?
In an instant, twenty-eight ways to kill the man in the white coat before me came to mind.
But I did not execute a single one.
It felt like I shouldn't.
Instead, I didn't say a word.
I looked at the mirror in the clinic.
Poapi's eyes were there.
The eyes of rage Poapi had when he lost his brother were there.
The eyes of Poapi, who had begged to be taught martial arts that could kill people,
were shining in the mirror.
I was wrong.
Instead of stopping Poapi,
instead of waiting for his anger to subside.
I should have gone with him and killed those rebel bastards.
I should have given him a pistol,
I should have given him grenades.
He should have become a Gun Boy, not a Candy Boy.
It was clearly my fault.
I reflect on it.
I will not make a mistake again.
I lost too much because of one mistake.
I lost everything I had.
******
“Hello?”
“Officer Seong Junhui?”
“Yes.”
“Hello? This is Sergeant Gong Inbae, whom you met before.”
“Ah~ I heard the tragic news. I express my deepest condolences for your comrade's sacrifice. I pray for the deceased's soul, and I offer my sympathies to you as well, Sergeant Gong Inbae.”
“.........”
“...The reason you called is?”
“I called to check if your previous offer of an instructor position is still valid.”
“Ah.... the instructor position? I think I'll have to check again. The Congo side would welcome it, but the Army will strongly oppose it.”
“I know. That's why I'm asking you to pull some strings.”
“Do you really want to go?”
“Yes. I'm definitely going.”
“I'll look into it and get back to you.”
After hanging up, Officer Seong Junhui's body trembled.
The voice was terrifying.
It was definitely the same voice as when they had met before,
but the feeling it gave off was completely different.
Eerie. Chilling.
********
“Do you really have to go?”
“Yes. I have to.”
“You depart in one month. I'll give you leave until then, so think it over again. You can cancel even then if you change your mind.”
“I'll see you in a month.”
I left the base and caught a taxi.
I had something I needed to do.
I had to go do what I was too ashamed to do.
“To Namyangju, please.”
.
.
.
“I'm sorry.”
When the door opened and I saw my sister-in-law's face,
those were the only words I could say.
My sister-in-law embraced me despite her small stature.
She wrapped her arms around my neck.
Tears suddenly burst forth.
Huuuk... huuuk...
“Sor...”
“I'm sorry.”
“I was lacking. I should have gone with him, it's all my fault. I'm sorry.”
My sister-in-law quietly patted my back.
Though I couldn't see her face, I could feel that she was crying too.
“I'll tear every single one of those bastards apart somehow. I want to die too, but I can't die like this. I'll tear them all to shreds... and then I'll die. I will take revenge.”
Only then did she look at my face.
My sister-in-law's face was a mess with tears.
“Inbae. Don't do that. Don't think of revenge; live your own life. Our Wonjun would want that too.”
“No. Staff Sergeant Lee Wonjun taught me to definitely take revenge.”
“That's the manual for when you're a soldier. The human Lee Wonjun isn't like that. So. Revenge. Don't do it. Don't even think of it.”
I did not answer.
I'll do it.
Revenge.
But I didn't want to lie to my sister-in-law, so I chose silence instead of false words.
Before leaving the house, I placed a small shopping bag in one corner.
I had put two hundred thousand dollars in it.
I had ten shopping bags with two hundred thousand dollars left.
And ten places left to go.
.
.
.
I had been prepared to stand still even if beaten with a club,
but his mother cooked for me.
Telling me to eat before I went.
Drip, drop.
My trash-like tears fell onto the delicious food she had prepared.
I tried to hold back my tears so as not to ruin the food she had made with such effort,
but they wouldn't stop at all.
I had already cried so much,
yet tears came again.
Last time I came, I had eaten more than three bowls of rice,
but today I couldn't even finish half a bowl and put down my spoon.
I was sorry that my useless tears ruined the food.
I tried to eat somehow, but I felt like I would vomit if I ate more.
I was a sinner for ruining the food.
Quickly, as if fleeing, I rushed out of Sergeant O Jaebeom's house.
Leaving behind only the shopping bag with two hundred thousand dollars in it.
I thought I needed to earn more money.
This was all that was in my inventory.
Three million dollars taken from the rebels.
I had spent some of it, but it seemed woefully insufficient.
I wanted to give it all away,
but I needed money too.
Revenge requires money.
I needed to earn some money.
********
“You're going to Kinshasa?”
“I'm going to Uvira.”
“Why Uvira?”
“I have something to get.”
.
.
.
“Come with me to Kinshasa.”
“If I go?”
“I'll teach you every way to kill a person. Martial arts, techniques, sorcery, whatever.
“Okay.”
Poapi didn't think twice and readily agreed.
We headed straight for Kinshasa.
Poapi had no family to ask permission from.
No luggage to pack.
Poapi had nothing.
But I had Poapi.
.
.
.
We arrived in Kinshasa.
They said it was Poapi's first time in the capital, Kinshasa.
To be exact, he had never been outside Uvira.
When we went to the hotel I had reserved, I could feel Poapi tensing up.
It was like looking at myself when I felt intimidated entering a department store.
I placed my hand on Poapi's shoulder to keep him from feeling nervous.
Having drunk water flowing in a stream and lived in a house roughly surrounded by iron sheets, he seemed surprised by the hotel.
Water came from the faucet, and the lights turned on.
He seemed amazed by that alone.
The price for one night here was more than a Congolese resident's monthly salary.
And this wasn't even a good hotel.
We went out for dinner, came back, and had a beer.
I needed to find a house within three days.
I would commute,
and I had to arrange a place for Poapi to live.
While I was worrying about how to do it, Poapi spoke with a rather serious face.
“Hyung. There's something I heard, I'm not sure, but I think I should tell you..... You know M23, right?”
“I know. They're the biggest rebel group.”
“Their main arms and smuggling route was through Uvira, but the peacekeeping unit came in and blocked the route, which put M23 in a very difficult position.”
“I heard that story. It's in the UN report.”
“So M23 sought other methods. They tried to open another smuggling route, but it wasn't easy. No matter where they tried, there was no place like Uvira.”
“So?”
“In the end, M23 decided to retake Uvira rather than find another route. For that, they brought in an outside expert.”
“An outside expert?”
“Yeah. Former US special forces. There's a lot of talk about Delta Force, Green Berets, but that's not certain.”
“So you're saying a former US special forces operative joined M23?”
“Exactly.”
Hearing Poapi's words, the rebels' changed behavior suddenly made sense.
Until then they had been completely untrained, literally just firing guns blindly,
but at some point their shooting had changed.
The booby traps that appeared out of nowhere also made sense.
Booby traps.
Small devices, but their effect is tremendous.
Once you experience a booby trap, you can't help but consider booby traps in every action afterward.
Decisions slow down, actions become restrained.
Didn't we too halt all operations when we discovered the booby trap?
“I think his name... is Derek Meyer.”
Derek Meyer.
Derek Meyer.
Nice to meet you, you fucking bastard.
Wait for me.
I'll be coming for you soon.