Restless.
Anxious.
Worried sick,
Uneasy in body and mind.
That was my current state.
I was whining like a puppy that needed to poop.
“What’s wrong? Something happen?”
“No, sir.”
“Sit down for a bit. Stop making everyone restless.”
“Yees, sir.”
When I kept wandering around inside the lodging, Master Sergeant Lee Wonjun said something to me.
I answered and sat down in a corner, but that did not mean my mind was at ease.
I was too anxious and uncomfortable.
I had managed to bring the bags from the rebel base, but
I had no idea what to do with them.
I couldn’t very well take them out now and say,
“I forgot to mention this, but I found these at the rebel base.”
But I couldn’t take them out and check what was inside, either.
Why couldn’t I take them out?
This was the military.
There was always someone beside me.
The military was, by nature, an organization that did not tolerate anyone acting alone.
When you ate, when you trained, even when you had meals, you were always with your team members.
Even the sleeping quarters were shared by six people.
There was no time or space where I could be alone.
I couldn’t even shower alone.
Really.
The only place where I could truly be alone was the bathroom.
But taking out a bag full of guns in the bathroom and rustling around with it?
No, thank you.
I did not want to be misunderstood for any reason whatsoever.
So I still had not properly checked the bags I had brought from the rebel base.
Before putting them into my inventory at the rebel base, I had only opened one or two in a hurry, like roasting beans over a lightning flash.
I didn’t even know what was inside the rest of the bags.
I wanted to take everything out and see what was in them.
I wanted to organize the guns and weapons,
and I wanted to count how much money there was. But I couldn’t.
It was so frustrating I was going insane.
That was why I had no choice but to keep whining like a puppy that needed to poop.
.
.
Starting with the incident that day, when we wiped out the rebel base,
our team began acting like outlaws.
We realized that the route designated by the UN was not the correct answer.
Our Guardian Unit knew it, and the UN knew it too.
So even if we did not follow the route the UN had assigned, no one particularly interfered.
When we began a security operation, we set out along the designated route.
Depending on the situation, if we spotted even the slightest sign that something was off, we would immediately change routes.
Of course, most of the time it was for nothing,
but every now and then we would discover a group of rebels and either wipe them out or drive them away.
They were not on the scale of the previous base,
but sometimes we drove off rebels traveling by car,
and sometimes we confirmed from a distance that they were crossing the border and fired warning shots.
The last strike on the base had been an enormous achievement.
Even this much was not bad.
Because of our actions, the Congolese military and police gave us a nickname.
The okapi is an animal that represents Congo.
It is a rare animal, once called the unicorn of Africa.
It is an animal loved by the Congolese people, enough to be engraved on Congolese banknotes.
The okapi looks like a zebra.
In fact, it has stripes like a zebra on its legs.
Only on its legs, not its whole body.
Its torso is chocolate-colored.
From far away, it looks like a horse? A donkey? A zebra?
But it belongs to the giraffe family.
It has horns, and it also has a long tongue like a giraffe.
It is an animal with many fascinating traits, a symbol of Congo.
Our team was honored with the nickname Okapi Sting.
Everyone was proud of that nickname.
Perhaps thanks to that, public security in the Uvira region gradually stabilized.
At the very least, there were no gunfights breaking out downtown,
nor were there incidents of people being kidnapped.
On top of that, Uvira was the greatest smuggling city.
Through the vast Lake Tanganyika,
or through the tropical rainforest regions, all sorts of goods were smuggled in and distributed throughout Congo.
But because of our unit’s continued security operations, smuggling became difficult,
and once weapons smuggling was blocked,
there were even UN reports saying that the strength of the rebels across Congo was weakening overall.
They had guns, but not enough bullets, or something like that.
At any rate, things were stabilizing overall.
I even wondered, Is this the power of dispatching troops overseas?
.
.
.
“So decide what you’re going to do and let me know.”
The team leader spoke.
One year of deployment.
In this hot, humid place full of insects,
we had spent a full year.
Without any incidents? Just the fact that we had spent a year here
was something worthy of praise.
Now, unless there was a special reason,
we would wrap up our one-year deployment and return to Korea.
The orders we had received when we departed had been for one year.
But now, a special reason had arisen for us.
“They say the Congolese government made a special request to our government. They want our team to stay a little longer. So you bastards should’ve been moderately good at your jobs. You did too well, and now we can’t even go home.”
“Come on~~ But what are we supposed to do when we see rebels? Just leave them be?”
“How could we leave them be? We have to catch them.”
“Hahahahaha.”
“Anyway, orders have been passed down, but this isn’t mandatory. Depending on the situation, all of us could stay, all of us could return, or only some of us could stay or return. So talk it over, and once you decide, let me know. But if you stay, you’ll get extra points, so promotion will be a bit easier.”
At the company commander’s words, everyone looked deep in thought.
Well... a guy like me had no need to worry or think about it.
Whether here or Korea.
Aside from the heat, there was not much difference.
To be honest, there were things that were better here.
The salary was much higher,
and since I could not go out, there was nothing to spend it on.
Money was literally piling up little by little.
Following the advice of the team seniors, I also invested in coins.
That was fairly profitable.
Since I knew absolutely nothing, I just copied the seniors.
And more than money,
here, I was not lonely.
There was always someone beside me.
Of course, because I was with someone twenty-four hours a day,
I could not even check what was inside my inventory,
and there were times that made things inconvenient,
but even so, living while rubbing shoulders with others was not something I disliked all that much.
Even in this hot Congo, there were times when I felt warmth.
If I was with these people,
I would not have minded just living in Congo.
That was solely from my perspective.
For those who had families,
and for those who were married, their positions were entirely different.
They missed their families terribly.
Deployment was all well and good, but they wanted to spend time with their families.
They seemed to think one year of deployment was enough.
The environment was also a problem.
I had no issue with it.
If anything, I thought this was far better than living in that shabby house up in the hillside neighborhood,
a house with no electricity, no running water, and no gas.
But there were people who did not think that way.
There were also people who complained every time that they could not adapt to such a poor environment.
Well, that was
a personal matter, so no matter what they chose, you could not say it was right or wrong.
.
.
.
“So what are you going to do?”
Comms Two, Sergeant Oh Jaebeom, asked.
Sergeant Oh Jaebeom was twenty-five.
There was a two-year gap between him and me, since I was twenty-two,
but within the team, he was at least the closest to me in age.
Perhaps Sergeant Oh Jaebeom felt comfortable with me because of that, because he often talked to me like this.
“As for me, anything is fine. I’ll follow the team’s decision.”
“What kind of answer is that? Tell me.”
“You know, don’t you? That I have no family. Whether I go back or stay here, it doesn’t really matter much to me.”
“Really? I do want to go back, though the extra points are tempting. But it’s been too long since I’ve seen my family, and I want to get a girlfriend too. Here, forget a girlfriend, we can’t even see women.”
“That is true, sir.”
“Haa... I’m torn.”
The whole team had that same concern.
“Does it make sense not to see my wife and kid’s faces for a whole year?”
“I’m going to forget what my mom’s face looks like.”
“I want to go somewhere cool. I want to see autumn.”
“I think I’m a little worn out. I want to rest.”
Most of the opinions seemed to be gathering toward returning.
However,
“They’re giving extra points. Do you know how big that is? Your promotion could come a year, no, even two years faster.”
“In actual military life, there are almost no chances to get this many points.”
“Even if we go back, if we get deployed on operations, it’s the same thing—we won’t be able to go home for months at a time. Isn’t this actually a better opportunity?”
“We’re already used to this place. I think staying here would be better than being assigned to another unit and having to adapt all over again.”
The return faction and the stay-behind faction clashed evenly.
The atmosphere of the team, which had never once been bad, grew a little clouded.
The solution was brought by the team leader.
“So what you’re saying is that if you see your families’ faces, you can continue the deployment, right?”
“Yes. That’s correct.”
“Then let’s go on leave. I talked to the unit commander. Twenty-nine nights and thirty days. He’ll give you leave, so you can go to Korea and come back. If you don’t want Korea, you can go to another country. It’s leave, so as long as you don’t cause trouble, it doesn’t matter where you go.”
“I’ll go to Korea.”
“I’ll go back to Korea.”
“I’ll go too.”
The team’s opinion came together again.
Normally, once a deployment ended, you received twenty-nine nights and thirty days of leave.
They asked whether we would be willing to take leave first instead of immediately extending the deployment,
and then return to deployment life afterward.
The team members agreed.
We would take twenty-nine nights and thirty days of leave, then do another year of deployment.
All twelve members of the team decided to return to Korea.
.
.
.
Seoul Air Base, Seongnam.
“Don’t get into trouble!”
“Hehe. Yes, sir.”
“Don’t mix up the return date. Even if you’re late coming back from leave, that’s AWOL. Don’t go AWOL.”
“Understood.”
“Then have a good leave. If anything happens, contact me immediately.”
“Yes, sir.”
“Though it’d be better if I don’t hear from you...”
“I’ll behave myself.”
“Good, good. If you drink too much, it’ll be hard when you come back later. Drink in moderation.”
“Understood.”
“Then I’ll see you in a month. Have a good leave, dismissed!”
“Dismissed!!!!!!”
“Yahoo~~”
“This is great, so great.”
“Inbae. Have a good leave, and keep in touch.”
“Yes. Understood.”
As soon as we left Seoul Air Base, all the team members scattered.
Each of them took the subway, took a bus,
or got into the cars of people who had come to meet them and dispersed.
With no need to hurry, I moved a little slowly and leisurely.
Only then did I see a world completely different from Congo.
Seoul was hot in June as well, but it was different from Congo’s heat.
It was simply warm.
The city’s exhaust fumes and fine dust felt strangely welcome.
The forest of tall buildings in the city looked unfamiliar.
Now that I had returned to the city, I felt like I was shrinking back into a shabby little nobody.
Was I being pressed down by the majesty of the tall buildings? I felt smaller.
First, I headed home.
There was nowhere else for me to go.
I had enough money to take a taxi, but I took the subway.
Once I went underground, my heart felt a little more at ease.
After getting off the subway, I walked on, step by step.
It had only been two years since I left this place, but a lot seemed to have changed.
The slum within the city had turned into a massive construction site.
I strongly felt that something was wrong.
I hurried toward where my home had been.
But before long, my steps had no choice but to stop.
Our entire neighborhood was hidden behind construction screens.
Construction had begun.
Far off in the distance, the place that had been my house was now an empty space.
The place where I used to sit on the wooden platform, eat ramen, and look out over Seoul had vanished without a trace.
I was so flustered that I stood there for a long while, and eventually I went to the office.
I met the manager.
They said they were only site managers and did not know the details, so I should contact the head office.
The head office told me to contact the contracts team...
After twists and turns, I finally met an employee of the construction company.
He was a man who looked to be in his thirties, with a kind impression.
“Nice to meet you. Thank you for coming all the way here.”
“Yes. But the place where I used to live is under construction, and I wanted to know what happened. This happened while I was deployed overseas, so I’m a bit taken aback. I never agreed to it.”
“So you were a soldier. I wondered if that might be the case when I saw your short hair and tanned skin, and I was right. But you were deployed overseas?”
“Yes. I’m currently serving in Congo.”
“I served eight months with the Dongmyeong Unit in Lebanon too.”
“Ah? Then were you a noncommissioned officer?”
“No. I went as an enlisted soldier. Still, it’s nice to meet someone who was deployed overseas.”
The man smiled in a way that made him seem good-natured.
“It’s nice to meet you too.”
I truly was glad.
Now I understood why people looked for regional ties or school ties.
All he had done was say he had been deployed overseas, and yet I suddenly felt much closer to him.
We weren’t even fellow noncommissioned officers, nor had we served in the same unit, but somehow, I felt we had grown close.
It felt like we could set a bottle of soju in front of us and start swapping “back in my day” stories.
“Then please wait just a moment. The address is 110-8, correct?”
“That’s right.”
“We’re checking again after receiving your call. Please wait a moment. Would you like some coffee?”
“Thank you.”
The man came back with two cool iced coffees, handed one to me, and drank the other himself.
“When I was deployed, this iced coffee was what I wanted to drink the most. There were no beans, and certainly no ice. On the rare chance I got to have a cup, it was so refreshing, so genuinely delicious. It felt like the heat of Lebanon disappeared in an instant. These days, iced coffee is common enough, isn’t it?”
“No. Even now, it’s not something you can have easily.”
“Really? I thought at least that much would be easy to get by now.”
Knock, knock.
A pretty female employee handed the man a file folder containing A4 papers.
“Assistant Manager, this house is that house. The one below the mountain. I attached a copy of the contract as well.”
“Thank you.”
The man looked over the documents briefly, then nodded as if he had remembered.
“110-8. The house below the mountain, right?”
“Yes. That’s right.”
“Seeing the documents brings it back. This house. We had quite a hard time because of this house.”
“Pardon?”
“Well, the contractual relationships were so complicated.”
“That’s right. That’s why I thought the redevelopment wouldn’t happen.”
“Exactly. I thought it wouldn’t either, but somehow it went through. The house was under your father’s name, wasn’t it?”
“Yes.”
“We needed your father’s consent for the redevelopment as well, so we tried contacting him several times, but we couldn’t reach him. In the end, we even hired a private investigator and barely managed to find him.”
“Where did you find him?”
“He was in Yeosu at the time. Anyway, we went to see him and got his signature. Maybe he was in urgent need of money, because he signed right away without asking twice.”
“Did he say anything else? About me, or anything like that?”
“Unfortunately, that’s all I remember.”
“I see. Thank you for taking your valuable time.”
“I’m sorry I couldn’t give you the answer you wanted.”
“No. Then, take care.”
“Um… wait a moment.”
The man took two fifty-thousand-won bills out of his wallet and pressed them into my hand.
“Just think of it as a senior treating a junior from deployment to a meal, and please accept it. Then, get home safely.”
Leaving those words behind, the man suddenly left.
I stared blankly at the two fifty-thousand-won bills left in my hand.
I felt ashamed.
I was ashamed of my father.
Even someone I had met for the first time today called me his junior,
and put money in my hand, telling me to have a meal.
But the man called my father,
even at the moment he sold the house,
apparently hadn’t been curious about where I was. How I was living.
Apparently, he hadn’t wondered what would happen to me if he sold the house.
Whether I ended up on the streets or slept outside, the man called my father apparently didn’t care at all.
Now that I had returned not to Congo, but to the city,
I felt clearly what kind of person I had been.
I was a useless person.
That was the person I was.