The stretcher Harben had lain on had already been cleared away. Ruan had seen the place once that morning, nothing left but the wooden frame without so much as a sheet, and after that he did not look at it again.
The next day, it was strangely quiet inside the medical tent. Stretchers still came in, and boiled water was still in short supply. The smell of damp cloth remained the same.
And yet the number of words people spoke had visibly lessened. Though the stretchers did not stop coming, it was a morning when people themselves lowered their voices.
Ruan Hese began by checking the stretcher farthest inside. Daren’s fever was hovering at a line he could barely endure, and the courier who had undergone amputation still had not regained consciousness, only breaking out in cold sweat.
No patients had died during the night. That single fact pressed down all the more heavily.
Sera asked as she untied a bundle of bandages.
“You didn’t sleep a wink, did you?”
“There was no time to sleep.”
“There wasn’t any yesterday either. Or the day before.”
“I can still move.”
Sera did not try to stop him any further. Her expression said she knew he would not listen even if she did.
Ruan dipped his hands into the water bucket, then paused for a moment. The same tremor as yesterday came to his fingertips once and passed. The sensation of his bare hands laid over Harben’s wound still remained in his palms.
The feel of that lifeline that would not connect rose again like a ripple and would not sink back down.
Just then, Karen’s voice came from the direction of the entrance.
“It’s noisier outside today.”
When Ruan turned, Karen was standing with her back against the tent entrance post. Judging by her bandaged side, she was in a state where she ought to be lying down. And yet today she had been looking toward the entrance longer than at the stretchers.
As if she were someone who, if made to lie down, would simply walk back to the entrance again, she did not seem to have any intention of hiding her bandaged side.
Sera glared at her.
“Patients belong in the patients’ area.”
“The doorway suits me better.”
“You said that yesterday too, and today you’re really planning to become part of the door?”
“Because it’s necessary.”
It was a curt reply, with no joke in it. Ruan did not look that way for long and returned to the stretcher. Today, he felt he should not stare toward the entrance for no reason.
A little past morning, an infantryman with a deep cut on his forearm was brought in. It was not an urgent wound. Ruan pulled back the cloth and opened the wound to examine it.
“It will close. But don’t use this arm today.”
“Will it be all right by tomorrow?”
“Not tomorrow either. It grazed close to the tendon.”
“Then how many days?”
“Before asking how many days, let’s close the flesh first.”
The infantryman could ask no more. Even as he stitched the wound, Ruan grew strangely more tired. The patients coming in today seemed to examine his face before their own injuries.
Around noon, there was a small commotion. Just as one stretcher was about to be brought in, two soldiers raised their voices in front of the tent.
One was a supply soldier with a shallow wound on his shoulder, and the other was a spearman with only bruises on his face.
“You go first. I can hold out.”
“I’m telling you, if they don’t look at that hand now, it’ll swell worse by evening.”
“You saw it yesterday. They couldn’t even save someone who was really urgent, so why should I go in first?”
Those words carried clearly into the tent. Sera’s hands stopped first, and Orte also lifted the tip of his pen from the record board. Ruan froze where he was beside the stretcher, needle in hand.
Karen went out first. She stepped between the two soldiers, and though her voice was low, it was like a blade.
“Shut your mouths and both of you go in.”
“I really am fine.”
“Whether you’re fine or not is decided in there.”
“But the order—”
“The order is also decided in there.”
The spearman could say no more. The supply soldier was the same. The two glanced around, then entered the tent as they were.
Sera muttered softly.
“This is why someone with a sword really is needed.”
Karen pretended not to hear. Ruan pulled the thread over the wound and first finished tying the knot. Only the hand holding the needle put in a little more strength.
After the commotion passed, Orte said quietly,
“Even so, people are still coming here.”
“Because they have nowhere else to go.”
“I don’t think that’s all it is.”
Ruan straightened the cloth over the stretcher once and turned toward the next patient. Only the sound of Orte’s pen resumed.
As afternoon drew nearer, the gazes from outside the tent did not lessen. Some hesitated, and some kept glancing inside until the very end before leaving. Karen received all those gazes and still did not leave her post.
At last, Sera asked,
“Why on earth won’t you move from there?”
“Because I saw it yesterday.”
“Saw what?”
“How this tent collapses.”
Sera cut the end of a bandage, tied it off, and only lowered her head. Ruan checked the amputated courier’s pulse again. It was faint, but it held.
Still looking outside the entrance, Karen continued.
“At first, I thought all you had to do was save people. I thought you would stand in front of patients and use your hands, and I would just block what came before you.”
Ruan was sitting beside the stretcher, wrapping a bandage. Even so, he could tell those words were directed at him.
“But after seeing yesterday, I knew that wasn’t it. Even with someone you couldn’t save, you still wouldn’t let go until the end. After seeing that, I thought at least one more person with a sword ought to be standing beside you.”
Ruan’s hands stopped for a moment.
“That is not your job.”
“What I owe you isn’t only my life.”
“I wasn’t the one who saved you. You were merely lucky.”
“That again.”
Only then did Karen turn her head slightly and look at Ruan.
“Someone who survived by luck doesn’t pick up a sword and make it all the way here. At least, I was never taught that.”
Ruan pulled the end of the bandage tighter and tied it.
“Take care of your own body first. Just standing there is enough to tear your side open.”
“Then what about you?”
“I’ve always been like this.”
“That doesn’t work anymore.”
Sera let out a hollow breath beside them.
“That was what I said earlier.”
All three of them fell silent for a moment. If Sera had not cut in then, none of the three would have been able to say the next words. The air inside the tent had become that much heavier and sharper than before.
Just then, the entrance flap was lifted again. This time it was not a sentry, but an official courier. He wore an armband with the emblem of the Third Corps on a black background. He swept his gaze over the inside once and spoke at once.
“Medical Officer Ruan Hese.”
“That’s me.”
“You’ve been summoned to headquarters. The commander wishes to see you now.”
Sera’s expression hardened, and Orte’s pen stopped for a moment as well. Karen immediately pushed herself away from the doorway.
Ruan asked a beat late,
“Now?”
“Now.”
The courier left after saying only that.
Sera spoke first.
“Of all days, it had to be today.”
“It isn’t something I can avoid.”
“I’m not telling you to avoid it. It’s just that you look exactly like someone being dragged away.”
Ruan washed his hands once more in the water basin. On the clear surface of the water, the tremor of his fingertips appeared for a very brief instant.
Karen said immediately,
“You’re not going alone.”
“I am.”
“You heard him. The order was given only to you.”
“That is all the more reason you cannot come.”
“If I follow, who’s going to stop me?”
“Please don’t start with that in front of the commander.”
Instead of replying, Karen took one step closer. She looked like someone whose stubbornness stood forward before her face did.
Ruan let out a low sigh.
“Have the sutures on your side checked again before you go.”
“That’s what comes out of your mouth first right now?”
“Even standing right now is too much for you.”
“I’m still going.”
“……”
“And we can stitch it again when we get back.”
Ruan only furrowed his brow for a moment. He knew that was wrong, but he did not have the strength just then to speak more harshly.
“I only need to go for a short while. Sera and Medical Officer Bern are here, aren’t they?”
“That’s about inside the tent.”
Karen’s voice sank lower.
“It isn’t about outside the door.”
At those words, Ruan looked at Karen for a moment. After seeing someone fail yesterday and still return to stand before the stretchers, he felt he understood a little why she would not leave the entrance unattended. So he said nothing more.
As the sun tilted a little farther, Bern returned. Ruan briefly told him about the summons to headquarters. Bern was silent for a while. Then he spoke very calmly.
“Go.”
“Will things be all right here?”
“Even if they aren’t, they’ll keep moving. That’s the kind of place this is.”
After saying that much, Bern looked straight at Ruan once.
“But don’t let yesterday’s matter shake you in front of the commander.”
Ruan lifted his head. Bern’s gaze was not cold. That made it hurt all the more.
“Failure is not something to hide. But no one besides you can properly explain why you couldn’t let go yesterday.”
Instead of answering, Ruan picked up his coat.
Sera silently changed out the water for fresh. Normally, she would have tossed in another remark, but today she did not. That silence lingered longer than scolding would have.
Outside, the evening stretchers were coming in again. As always, nothing inside the tent stopped. Daren was still enduring his fever, and the amputated courier still clung to breath. Even the two soldiers who had been raising their voices a moment ago were each waiting in their places for treatment.
Ruan looked back toward Daren one last time. His fever-damp forehead was still red, but his breathing was steadier than it had been yesterday, and the amputated courier, too, was faintly maintaining his pulse.
Orte closed the record board and said in a low voice,
“Go and return safely. I will not lose track of the names here.”
Ruan gave only a very short nod.
Behind him, the boiling water began bubbling again, and the sound of stretcher legs scraping across the floor did not cease. With each of those sounds, Ruan felt as though the names he was leaving behind in the tent were catching on his fingertips again. Even so, he did not stop walking. Going to headquarters today felt less like receiving thanks and more like going, with his own hands, to finally confirm a debt he had put off for far too long.
When he reached the entrance, Karen said quietly,
“You’ll be back soon, right?”
“I don’t know.”
“Then come back quickly.”
Ruan walked out of the tent. Behind him, the scraping of stretcher legs and the sound of boiling water continued again, and Karen’s footsteps followed one beat later.