6. I'll be there(2)
A brief silence passed, and I recalled why Gong Jihwan had been so frustrated and struggled so desperately.
“I used to think I was really something, you know? But when I got out into the world, I realized I was nothing. There are so many people better than me at singing, at dancing….”
This time, Hajun was focusing on my voice. The words I was laying bare now were the biggest reason the previous “me” had failed to fit in with the team and had floundered alone.
“I couldn't even get my head straight, but while lying in the hospital, I had that thought. That I'm going down the wrong path right now.”
“In what way?”
“The thought that if these people weren't here, could I stand on my own strength alone? I used to think I could.”
The previous “me” had apparently thought that some of the current members were holding him back. I think he was jealous, too. I had really been living with absurd thoughts.
“I want to debut in the team with that hyung. All of us, together.”
“You… are you really okay? After coming back from the hospital, you feel like a different kid wearing Jihwan's face.”
“Hahaha, I guess I've just grown up!”
“If getting hospitalized makes you grow up, I'd hospitalize all the kids for a day.”
Neither on the broadcast nor individually did anyone definitively say that Min Hajun would debut, but everyone at the company knew.
That Hajun would debut no matter what happened or whether this failed.
The company was almost certain about Youngbin and Hajun's debut, and this program was practically a process of choosing the members who would stand with them while building the group's recognition and refining their skills.
So there was even less reason for them to care about “me.”
If they just took care of the kids who got along well and followed directions like now, they could smoothly get on stage.
So I was even more curious. Why was he going this far?
“Jihyung, why do you care about me?”
“Why do you ask?”
“Well… I'm the one most likely to be eliminated. You're not.”
“Hey, Gong Jihwan.”
“I know because I heard. The team leader honestly told me too.”
Hajun, looking frustrated, jumped up from his seat and dragged me over to an old swing, sitting me down.
“If I lived thinking about stuff like that, would I be doing this here right now?”
“Huh?”
“I don't know about that stuff. Right now, you're just someone I need to look after. Company circumstances, whatever—I don't care about that.”
“Come on, if you don't know, who among us would?”
He got on the swing next to me and started pushing off with his feet. For some reason, it looked cute, and I laughed.
“Why are you laughing? You looking down on swings?”
“No, you're just kind of cute. I thought you were a scary person.”
“You're getting cocky. Let's just swing and go back in. You really can't go outside alone from now on.”
“Yeees~.”
At some point, Poing had returned and was looking at us from across the swings with a pitiful expression, but I ignored him and swung excitedly.
I mean, when else in my life would I get to swing with Min Hajun again?
And there were a few other trivial stories—idle chatter that started on the premise of “if we debut together”—which, though fleeting, let me forget the warlike day that would begin again tomorrow.
Then, the contents of a magazine interview I'd read before suddenly came to mind, and goosebumps spread all over my arms.
It was an episode Min Hajun had revealed. During the filming of *Idol Creation*, there had been a member who suddenly almost dropped out. Even then, Hajun had taken him out separately to a park near the dorm, and they had opened up and talked for quite a long time, comforting each other and ending things on a good note.
If I applied this interview to my current situation, didn't this mean that before debut, there would always be at least one time when Hajun called someone aside to have a heart-to-heart like this?
If so, even with a new variable called “me” appearing, the future activities of Unravel that I knew of didn't seem like they would change much. However, since I couldn't know how far that damn variable was allowed or where and how things might change, a small worry crept in.
I felt like I'd seen a movie with similar content, but I couldn't remember what it was.
I think they called this a time paradox…. No, Poing had said this world was the same yet different from the one I used to live in, so maybe this wasn't it?
Thoughts chased each other in an endless chain. After rolling them around in my head for a while, I felt like my brain was going to overload and gave up on all of it.
What was the point of worrying now when I didn't know what would happen? Maybe this was why people said I was positive.
Suddenly, everything felt annoying, and I looked up at the sky and muttered.
“Jihyung, the moon is really pretty.”
“Yeah, it is pretty.”
It seemed like this hyung had been spacing out too.
In a daze, we swung for a little longer before returning to the dorm, and when we lay down in our respective beds, a new notification window appeared before my eyes.
— An update history exists. Please check the status window.
The cheeky cat fairy, which had been lying leisurely beside me grooming itself, glanced at me and, without a word, began focusing on its grooming again.
Seeing that, I figured there was no big problem and mentally shouted, “Status Window.”
[Status Window]
Name: Gong Jihwan
Class: Trainee Burning with Passion
Lv: 5
Traits: (Undecided), The Giving Tree (1)
Skills: I Hear Your Voice (1), Tenacity (3), Inner Bond (1)
Something strange had appeared!
I tapped Poing and pointed at the status window for him to look, but he didn't pay any attention, and I burned with frustration inside.
‘Poing, explain this.’
‘Poing, I'm telling you to explain this. Can you not hear this?’
‘Poing!! Explain this please!! Earlier, the skill suddenly activated and everything!’
‘Dude, stop. My head's ringing!’
The first time was just in case, the second time I spoke thinking he might be ignoring me, and the third time I shouted with a rather desperate heart.
‘You cheeky cat… you're my fairy. I'm asking you to help me. You abandoned me and went off to play all day today. What's a trait, and what are all these skills?’
‘Slow down. Ask one thing at a time—it's not like anyone's going to eat you. And who said I went to play?’
‘That's because you wouldn't answer.’
‘You used the skill, so wouldn't you know? Just try using it. Traits are determined by your disposition; they're like passive skills.’
‘How is The Giving Tree a skill? What is this, it's scary.’
‘Say the skill name and “description.” Then you'll see the explanation. I'm tired, so don't call me.’
My little cheeky cat, who had gone off and played after abandoning me all day, lay down turning its back with a huff and curled its body up as if it were really going to sleep.
Seeing it lying like that, it somehow looked pitiful again, and before I knew it, I was petting it. I didn't know where it had gone or what it had done to come back as a wilted mess when it had been fine, but seeing it purr, I figured this was the answer.
The most important thing right now was figuring out these traits and skills. I felt like I needed to know what the heck they were before sleeping so I wouldn't panic like I did today.
‘The Giving Tree description.’
[Trait — The Giving Tree]
A trait for you, who gives what you have generously for your people.
Designate 2 people and help those targets.
When a certain level of trust is exceeded, you can obtain a skill or bonus that helps both the other party and yourself.
※ The number of people you can designate increases in intervals of 5 levels.
What is this? How do I check trust? What kind of help?
No matter how much I read it, it was too vague. Couldn't they have explained it more intuitively?
Who made this? Wow, really. If they were too lazy to make a proper trait, they shouldn't have made one at all….
“Ha….”
“Jihwan, what's wrong?”
“Ah, it's nothing.”
“Don't think about other things and sleep well tonight. Your body still needs to rest.”
The room I was lying in was for three people—Gim Youngbin, Gang Sebin, and me—so it was relatively clean. Gim Youngbin was the type to clean up his own space thoroughly, and thanks to my noona's indoctrination, the previous “me” had been living in a decently human manner.
I firmly resolved not to be surprised by whatever came next, to quickly check only the skill descriptions, and then go to sleep. If the trait explanation was that bad, surely the skill descriptions couldn't be the same too. Surely not.
[Skill — I Hear Your Voice]
Are you paying too much attention to the moods of those around you?
You who wonder if you are being a burden to others, or if the person you have a crush on has feelings for you.
Try using this skill now. You can see the other person's true feelings.
However, once activated, it lasts for 30 minutes unless manually terminated, and a 3-hour cooldown is given for targets you have already used the skill on.
※ Activate by locking eyes with the target and speaking the skill name.
Ranking up increases the number of people you can check at once.
[Skill — Tenacity]
You who don't let go once you've bitten.
A skill for you, who is more tenacious and persistent than anyone, and who does not forget debts of gratitude or resentment.
It makes your body and mind sturdier for your success.
Aim for precise timing when using it.
※ Careless use may have side effects.
Ranking up increases duration.
[Skill — Inner Bond]
Do you find it difficult to get close to others?
This skill helps the other party feel familiar with you, to the extent that you feel intimacy toward them.
※ Excessive use may invite unwanted encounters.
Ranking up increases the number of people with whom you can build inner bonds.
I had read the manual, yet it felt like I needed a manual for the manual. That was exactly how I felt right now.
Do fairies not know Korean well? Is there a problem with the translation? Fairy, sleeping so comfortably right now, is this really going to help me?
Poing's round head, sleeping while letting out snoring sounds—I had never seen it look so detestable.
Something seemed wrong with this setup. Isn't the fairy attached to me supposed to explain?
Deciding that this couldn't go on, I resolved that tomorrow, whenever I found the time, I would shake this cheeky cat fairy vigorously and squeeze a proper explanation out of it.
The content itself seemed like it could help change my current position if used moderately, but the warning clauses were so half-hearted that it bothered me.
It was like clicking a job ad for part-time work and seeing “negotiable salary, family-like work atmosphere.”
They say leaving home is hard, but having taken on another body, nothing was easy.
Getting scolded, getting scolded, watching for cues, overworking my mind and body.
At this rate, I didn't know when I'd be able to lay flower petals at our kids' feet, and I felt suffocated. More than anything, I had to turn around the hearts of people who viewed me negatively and score well on the homepage vote that influenced debut member selection.
The first evaluation was in a week—could I really pull it off?