2. Fiction(1)
“Jihwan, you awake?”
“Ah….”
There wasn’t a spot on my body that didn’t ache.
When I barely managed to open my eyes, what came into view were unfamiliar faces etched with worry.
“Where is this…?”
“The hospital, you idiot!”
“Oh my, you’ll scare him! Be quiet!”
Even in my dazed state, the voice that slipped out of me sounded unfamiliar.
“Huh… my voice…?”
“It’s fine. They said it’s temporary. Didn’t I tell you not to overdo it, punk?”
Only then did my surroundings begin coming into focus, and I realized the fact that I had been admitted to the hospital in fairly decent shape.
“I was in a car accident….”
“It’s okay. They said you just collapsed from the shock. The driver even came by earlier.”
“Why did you go outside at that hour? This kid has no sense of caution!”
The hand slapping my back with loud thwacks hurt so much that an involuntary cry of pain escaped me and tears pricked my eyes, and the one who had hit me seemed to grow embarrassed, her face turning red.
What saved me from floundering in the dissonance between my last memory and my current state was the doctor who appeared at just the right time.
“Jihwan, is there anywhere in particular that hurts?”
“Ah… no. I don’t think so. Though I do have a headache and feel a bit out of it.”
The doctor asked a few more questions after that, then left after telling me I needed to rest a while longer.
Then the man and woman whose identities I had yet to place took the opportunity to tell me to get some proper sleep, pulled the blanket all the way up to my chin, and left the hospital room.
“What the hell is all this….”
“You, snap out of it yet?”
“Damn, you scared me!”
The moment I checked that the door was closed, raised myself up, and muttered in confusion, a cat suddenly appeared on the blanket, looking at me as if I were pathetic—Poing.
I realized that everything I had thought was a dream were events that had actually happened.
I met Sebin, got into a traffic accident because of some lunatic, and died. There was a fairy who said she would give me a chance, and I opened my eyes on an unfamiliar bed.
These were the realities that had befallen me now. Though it was truly hard to believe.
“I told you you’d understand once you went through it, right? There’s a bit of a gap from the plan, but nothing we can do about that….”
“Wow… am I dreaming again right now?”
“Stop running from reality and get a grip.”
Poing swatted at my arm as I tried to hurriedly lie back down. As I rose up clumsily, he threw out a remark as if giving me time to come to my senses, then started grooming.
“You’ll remember this body’s memories soon, so check them.”
“Uh… I’ve been wondering since the start, but why do you talk like a little kid?”
“Learned Korean on the internet.”
“Ah… learn it again. Even elementary schoolers don’t talk like that these days….”
I let out a deep sigh, clutched my head where the headache still refused to fade, and slowly, the so-called body memories began to surface.
Gong Jihwan, 18 years old.
The new body was a trainee preparing for a project idol group.
And that project was a program that me from before my death had watched and nearly lost my mind over, though saying “past life” still didn’t feel natural.
“Idol Creation… ha.”
“Pfft, what kind of name is that? Your naming sense is something else.”
“Ah, Poing, please, your speech….”
Putting aside the damned fairy who pretended not to hear and focused entirely on grooming, the me of this world—who had the same name but a completely different face and things he was doing—was still far too unfamiliar.
The original owner of this body must have devoted himself to practice, thinking he might debut soon, but I, who had watched all of that program, remembered that Unravel was a four-member group.
“Ah, I’m really screwed.”
“See? I told you to choose well.”
“Yeah….”
Poing, finished grooming, stretched and then sat before me in a poised position.
“If you fail, I fail too, so starting now, listen closely to what I say.”
“Yeah, I’m listening.”
So, the greatest lingering regret I had left at the very end was what had summoned Poing, and as a result, he said I had come to live a new life in this body.
I wanted to ask about the original owner of this body, but I couldn’t bring myself to.
Poing’s resolute eyes seemed to tell me that he couldn’t answer.
Poing said that while he could directly help with a few sensory aspects, he couldn’t tell me the details.
He added that his final goal was to help me live a happy life and meet a death with few regrets.
“I mostly get it, but I’m tone-deaf, a bad dancer, and have no rhythm. Is that okay?”
“Try calling it the Status Window.”
“Status Window.”
The moment I muttered it, a small window emanating that same inorganic aura as the one that had forced the initial choice appeared before my eyes.
I missed my mom. Dad and Noona too.
“I’m really only asking because I’m super worried, but this….”
“Only you and I can see it, and it’ll pop up even if you just think about it in your head.”
“Wow, how did you know I was thinking that?”
“…How did you live in your past life without even reading those common fantasy novels?”
I forced an awkward “heh heh” and began checking the letters and numbers displayed in the window one by one.
I had been at an age where I put my real life on the back burner to devote myself wholeheartedly to stanning, so I had never read books with the kind of content Poing was talking about.
The last time I had read fantasy novels earnestly was when I was in school, and even then it was the kind of fantasy with medieval worlds full of elves, dwarves, and dragons.
[Status Window]
Name: Gong Jihwan
Job: Trainee with Many Regrets
Lv: 5
Trait: Undetermined
Skills: I Hear Your Voice (1), Grinder (3)
It seemed a great many things had changed in some corner of a world I didn’t know.
I never thought I’d find things I’d only seen in games floating before my eyes.
After looking over the short clusters of words and glancing at Poing as if asking for an explanation, Poing peered at the status window and made a sulky expression.
That expression was somehow so adorable that I almost hugged him, but I barely stopped myself, having not forgotten the threat of a cat punch.
“It’s not a complete, total disaster—just a little bit of a disaster.”
“Then isn’t that a relief?”
“Listen to you, Mr. Optimistic! The average for people capable of summoning a fairy is starting at level 10 with three skills!”
This cat seemed to be quite the angry cat, after all.
I had no choice but to start soothing Poing with the skills I had honed over the years to pacify Noona’s anger.
“You said it’s not a total disaster. If you help me, Poing, it’ll work out. Unravel was a pretty well-known group, so I just need to work hard.”
“Must be nice to be so positive…”
I gently held Poing, who was speaking in a subdued voice, in my arms and slowly stroked the top of his head.
Even so, honestly, it still hadn’t sunk in yet.
I had merely been one of countless idol fans, yet now I had to work hard to become that very idol myself.
But unless I was having a very long and vivid dream, the situation of lying in this hospital room was now my reality.
Noona had often told me.
If you’re going to do it half-heartedly, don’t even start.
Parents who always had to leave the house because of busy schedules, and young me.
By my side had been Noona, who would grumble yet always embraced me with an affectionate heart.
Noona had always been my spiritual anchor, a sanctuary where my heart could rest completely.
After all, even in my immediate past life, I had died because I didn’t listen to Noona.
The moment I thought of the family I could no longer see, a pain that felt like my heart being squeezed gripped me, and a sob welled up all the way to my throat.
The emotions I couldn’t bear to voice and was forcing back instead were teetering precariously near their limit.
Having left first without being able to do anything for them, my very existence must have become a massive nail lodged in my family’s hearts.
My face twisted horribly from the psychological pain, but fortunately, Poing turned his head and pretended not to notice.
“…Poing, how do I recall memories more easily?”
“Try thinking hard of something that could be a keyword.”
Feeling like I would burst into tears at any moment, I decided to set aside the sad thoughts for now. Focusing on my current family as Poing said, memories of them flooded in like I was watching a documentary.
“Sigh… Why do I always end up like this.”
“?”
“It’s just that Jihwan here is quite something, too.”
The previous Gong Jihwan had caused his family grief too, and the current Gong Jihwan wasn’t much different.
He didn’t have any particularly outstanding talent.
He simply liked singing and moving his body.
His parents had both passed away when he was young.
A much older Noona had raised “Gong Jihwan” with help from the maternal family, and that Gong Jihwan—that is, “I”—had left home almost like running away after a huge fight with Noona because of an absurd dream of becoming an idol.
After that, having kept it a secret from Noona, I had been able to enter the current agency with the help of my youngest maternal uncle.
But unfortunately, Gong Jihwan, who had wanted to become someone who shone like a star, a happy person, was facing a crisis where he might wither before ever getting to shine.
“Is there any way to readjust the difficulty on this…?”
“Don’t say impossible things.”
“Yeah… no chance, heh heh.”
Recalling Idol Creation again, I remembered a trainee who had been in a similar position but had ultimately been eliminated during the evaluation.
He had received decent evaluations for his visuals and vocals, but had been one of the trainees eliminated in the first evaluation for lacking talent.
It had been purely by chance that “I” overheard broadcasting company staff and agency people talking with serious expressions while leaving the practice room.
As the show progressed episode by episode, there were more days of receiving poor evaluations, and accordingly, “I” had steadily plummeted to rock bottom.
“I” had already lost much belief in myself.
Because of that, even when trying to quickly leave the area out of fear of standing out and getting scolded, it seemed “I” couldn’t suppress curiosity at the mention of his own name soon after.
“See, why did you go and overhear that.”
“What?”
“Nothing, I just pity him a little.”
“You’re not in a situation to pity others.”
“He’s not a stranger anymore. He’s me now.”
I even remembered that the man who had stayed by my bedside earlier was the manager, and the woman was the team leader.
They must have known full well how the situation was unfolding, so it seemed they had told me to gather myself and rest well, if only for my peace of mind.
“Not a chance.”
“??”
I pulled Poing into an embrace as he looked at me with a puzzled expression and lay back down, and he, who had looked a bit troubled, turned around and nestled into my arms as if unable to resist.
Snappy as he was, he seemed to be a fairy with a cute side to him.
“Poing, but are you only visible to me?”
“Yeah. Why?”
“Just because. I’m glad.”
“Weird human.”
I was grateful to Poing, who placed his front paw on my arm as if he couldn’t help it. Because it was this violent cat fairy who had given me a chance when I was about to end just like that, and who was the only one in this world that remembered me as I was.
When I closed my eyes, countless things came to mind.
My memories and Jihwan’s memories.
And even Jihwan’s heart, emptied and abandoned of everything in the moment he saw the car rushing toward him.
If Poing had come to make what I desperately wished for come true, then there was one thing I had to do in this world.
To make Unravel shine brighter than anyone else in this world.
I decided to become Unravel’s fifth member and personally lay down a path of flower petals for the kids’ futures.
That was both the dream I held, and the only memorial I could offer to the other “me.”