Sssrk.
Dr. Hanks looked at Taesu again and asked,
“It’s surprising that you’re aware of that yourself.”
“Because I have to go back someday.”
“You mentioned it briefly earlier. That you’ll be going to Korea in two years… Ahem.”
Dr. Hanks’s words caught in his throat, as if he were thirsty.
With the suspicion of esophageal cancer added on top, his throat would surely keep drying out.
Taesu immediately handed him a prepared cup of water along with a small trash bin and said,
“Drink, and if there’s anything you need to spit out, spit it out.”
“I know that even if you just hand it to me.”
“Ah, I just said the most useless thing in the world.”
Taesu’s expression instantly turned sheepish.
Dr. Hanks first took a sip of water. Then he lowered his face into the trash bin and quietly spat out phlegm.
His face looked even more hollow, but his expression changed to one tinged with relief.
“Phew. That’s a little better.”
“Isn’t it uncomfortable for you to talk so much?”
“If it were, I would have said we should rest.”
“Ah, ahaha. I keep forgetting you’re my senior.”
Taesu’s face even reddened slightly.
Scratch, scratch.
As he pointlessly tormented the back of his head, Dr. Hanks smiled faintly and said,
“A patient is a patient.”
“What’s funny is that I’m a patient too, yet I’m acting like a doctor.”
“Heh. More importantly, is it because you have to return in two years that you keep yourself so busy?”
Dr. Hanks brought the subject back around.
Taesu answered simply.
“That isn’t the only reason. That’s just my impatience.”
“Impatience, is it. I see.”
Dr. Hanks answered with such easygoing calm.
Now it was Taesu’s turn.
He immediately made use of the opportunity he had seized.
“But I don’t see that in you, senior.”
“Must I have impatience?”
“What were the patients like who set out on a long journey from your hands until now?”
Taesu asked back carefully.
At that moment, the relaxed smile Dr. Hanks had been wearing slipped slightly out of place.
“…Most patients were like that.”
“Forgive me for asking, but why did you say three months?”
“I’m not sure what you’re getting at.”
Dr. Hanks gently sidestepped the question.
But as always, Taesu insisted on going straight ahead.
“Because I don’t feel any anticipation from you.”
“I’m over fifty. Do you think there’s still anything left for me to feel anticipation over?”
“Of course. As you grow older, you become accustomed to emotions; it doesn’t mean emotions disappear.”
Taesu spoke very firmly.
Dr. Hanks, who had been mulling it over, soon accepted it.
“Now that I hear it, you’re right.”
“Even if they’re equally hungry, a twenty-year-old can endure it longer than a five-year-old.”
“It doesn’t mean they don’t feel hunger.”
Dr. Hanks answered in rhythm with him.
Compared to when they had first met, his conversation had gradually increased, and his expressions had become more varied.
Taesu was the one who sensed that most accurately.
But one thing was still missing.
He had to find it.
Just then, a small look of bewilderment appeared in Dr. Hanks’s eyes.
Sssrk.
He turned his gaze toward the window.
Taesu caught a glimpse.
Before that bewilderment appeared, there had been a thin smile on his lips.
Something had excited him.
And the moment he became conscious of it, he had broken it himself.
‘What was that?’
It was when Taesu’s eyes shifted in thought.
Dr. Hanks returned to the original subject again.
“Perhaps it’s time I grew used to death as well.”
“Can there truly be a doctor who grows used to death?”
“……”
Flinch.
Dr. Hanks’s shoulders trembled faintly.
Taesu continued without paying it any mind.
“Especially if one is a thoracic surgeon who deals with the heart and lungs, one must never become close to death.”
“That’s what Dr. Caprene said.”
“Huh? You knew?”
Taesu was more than a little flustered by the words that had slipped out without him realizing it.
That bewilderment lasted only a moment.
Dr. Hanks’s answer came with a trace of laughter.
“Heh. I’m someone who has mainly dealt with hearts until now.”
“So I’ve heard.”
“And yet you thought I wouldn’t know Dr. Caprene’s words?”
At that, Taesu realized just how silly a question he had asked.
“Ah, right. I remember and still forget.”
“Thanks to you, I got to laugh once.”
“Mm. Then do you remember this as well?”
It was at the same time as Taesu’s question.
Sssrk.
Dr. Hanks turned his head again and looked at Taesu.
Meeting those puzzled eyes, Taesu began in a low voice.
“To operate on a patient whose heart has grown cold…”
“…is to give up on him.”
“You remember.”
“……”
Dr. Hanks could not answer.
It had not been intentional that he continued the words Taesu had murmured.
It was a phrase that appeared often in Caprene’s writings, words planted in his mind.
It had clearly leapt out reflexively in response to Taesu’s words.
That was why Taesu was certain.
Dr. Hanks.
He had not lived in pursuit of honor.
He had looked at patients and lived for patients.
If Caprene’s advice could spring from him instinctively, there was no room for doubt.
His clear gaze supported that as well.
He was a doctor who had put profit and honor behind him.
It was a life he had lived by conviction for twenty years.
Its ending could not be allowed to fade away so vaguely like this.
At that moment, Taesu made up his mind.
He resolved to draw up the will to live in this man who had lived practicing Caprene’s ideals.
Flash!
He looked at Dr. Hanks with solemn eyes.
“Dr. Hanks.”
Was Taesu’s low call unusual?
Dr. Hanks’s brow narrowed slightly.
“Do you absolutely need confirmation that I remember Dr. Caprene’s words?”
“No. That’s not it…”
Taesu tried to clear up the misunderstanding and speak of his resolve.
But it was then.
Rattle.
The hospital room door suddenly opened, and a familiar, high-pitched voice rang out.
“Dr. Hanks!”
Taesu, who had flinched to a stop, turned his head and glared at the person who had interrupted the decisive moment.
But that cold look brightened despite itself.
Because the person who had appeared was far too familiar.
“Jonathan.”
Right now, he was supposed to be doing medical volunteer work in Malnoi.
For him to appear so suddenly like this was both welcome and surprising.
But Dr. Jonathan’s eyes did not see Taesu.
They were focused solely on Dr. Hanks.
Tap, tap, tap!
Dr. Jonathan, who had approached nimbly, abruptly took Dr. Hanks’s hand first.
His face, always cheerful and full of mischief, was now covered in shadow.
“Hanks.”
“Jonathan. It’s been fifteen years. Looks like even you age.”
“Don’t say strange things. What is this? What are these hands, this face—what on earth is this!”
Dr. Jonathan’s voice rang out sharply.
Taesu was flustered, having never heard such a tone from him before.
And it was also the first time he had seen a doctor whom Dr. Hanks spoke to so comfortably.
‘They know each other? No, are they close?’
He was curious, but to the two of them, Taesu did not exist.
Then it was right not to interfere with this moment.
Sssrk.
Taesu quietly moved away from Dr. Hanks’s bed.
Even as he returned to his own bed, his puzzled gaze remained.
At that moment, another figure entered the hospital room.
Step, step.
The steady, heavy footsteps gave the impression of a restrained personality.
When Taesu confirmed who it was, he swallowed the low whistle that nearly escaped him.
‘Whew, even Dr. Wallik came.’
The fact that the two of them had appeared together like this meant the medical volunteer work in Malnoi could be considered to have entered a fairly stable stage.
Since nearly half a month had passed, it was entirely possible.
While Taesu was taking in Dr. Wallik, a heartrending scene was unfolding on the other side.
Dr. Jonathan was pressing Dr. Hanks with bitterness in his heart.
“Why aren’t you saying anything? Why are you in this state? Why!”
“Now, now. I’m a patient. You should be quiet.”
“Who decided you’re a patient? How can Dr. Hanks become a patient!”
“Calm down. Jonathan, calm down first.”
“How am I supposed to calm down? How can you tell me to calm down in this situation!”
Shouting, again and again.
Dr. Jonathan lashed out so fiercely that the hospital room seemed to ring.
His eyes were filled with tears.
Jonathan’s grief was enough to make the tip of Taesu’s nose sting.
But because he did not know exactly what relationship the two had, he was also bewildered.
It was then.
Tap.
A hand came to rest on his shoulder.
Taesu flinched and turned his head to find Dr. Wallik standing there.
As though he had already read Taesu’s expression, he answered first on his own.
“To him, Hanks is the same sort of existence as Dr. James is to you, Dr. Choi.”
“Oh, is that so?”
“He was the team leader on Jonathan’s first medical volunteer mission when Jonathan was a rookie. He dragged him around for the entire volunteer period because he was the youngest.”
“Ah.”
That explanation alone was enough for Taesu to understand the situation.
‘The first button was fastened properly.’
Perhaps that was why people said the beginning was important.
Taesu’s first medical team leader was someone he did not particularly want to remember.
That was also why he had chosen field medicine.
As he reflected on it, Taesu felt something was strange.
“Mm.”
“What is it?”
“When I think about now, should I say that it actually helped me?”
Taesu’s inner thoughts slipped straight out of his mouth.
However, Dr. Wallik had no talent for reading minds, so he could not guess the meaning.
“What does that mean?”
“Ah, nothing. It makes sense that Jonathan would get that emotional.”
“Yes. Well… But is your recovery slow?”
At Dr. Wallik’s heavy voice, Taesu’s expression turned bitter.
“Dr. Hanks’s condition makes it a little difficult to hope for recovery.”
“I’m talking about Dr. Choi. You’re not usually the type to ramble like this, which is why I asked.”
Dr. Wallik, true to his personality, pointed it out clearly.
Taesu realized his mistake once more and looked at him again.
Then, only now, he brought up the words he should have said first when meeting and parting.
“It’s been nearly half a month since I last saw you. Have you been well?”
“Who are you asking about well-being?”
“I was asking after Dr. Wallik’s well-being… Um, your eyes are too sharp.”
Taesu’s voice, which had been answering obediently, gradually crawled lower.
That was how cold Dr. Wallik’s eyes, expression, and atmosphere were.
And yet Dr. Wallik showed no sign whatsoever of warming up.
Rather, he grew even colder.
“You must know why Jonathan is reacting like that.”
“It seems you met James first before coming here.”
“And naturally, you know why I’m glaring at you right now.”
“I suspect it’s because I’m wearing a patient gown.”
Taesu answered with an awkward smile.
The way the two of them spoke was a bit unusual.
Dr. Wallik would answer first, and Taesu would infer the question.
The two of them, however, did not care about that at all.
Taesu in particular was surrounded by tension.
Unlike Dr. Schmidt, Dr. Wallik was fierce and cold.
On top of that, he was more difficult to deal with than Dr. Schmidt.
At this moment, there was nothing better than a smile to avoid his icy gaze.
“Ha, haha.”
“You’re laughing?”
“Ahem. No.”
“No?”
Dr. Wallik continued to pick at the end of his words with an indifferent expression.
For Taesu, his lips began to go dry.
Moreover, Dr. Wallik did not seem at all inclined to let Taesu’s problem pass lightly.