He had seen him every day, but today was the first time they had spoken like this.
There was so much they didn’t know about each other.
Above all, Taesu had experienced situations like this far too often, so he answered on his own.
“I’m from Korea, and I’m a second-year resident.”
“To have chosen an NGO already—you’re remarkable people.”
“It seems you’re still not quite comfortable with me.”
Taesu gently prompted him, but Dr. Hanks replied with a good-natured smile.
“It’s not a matter of time. The problem is that we haven’t talked much.”
“Then I’m sure you’ll be speaking comfortably with me soon.”
“In time, I suppose.”
Dr. Hanks answered in an easygoing manner.
The faint smile on his face remained as well.
After they had exchanged greetings like that, Taesu smiled softly and said,
“I’ve paid my respects today, so I think I’ll take my leave.”
“It seems Dr. Choi has somewhere else to go.”
“My ward is here, my home is here, and my friend’s room is here too.”
“How convenient, having everything in one building.”
“It does tend to be, a little. Then please rest.”
Taesu said goodbye and stepped out of the hospital room.
Click.
As the door closed, Kim Hyeokgwon and Jeong Minsu asked in puzzlement,
“Why did you stop talking halfway?”
“He’ll need to sleep after talking that much.”
“After just that?”
“You can consider that his best.”
At Taesu’s answer, Kim Hyeokgwon looked dumbfounded.
“That’s pretty bad.”
“You should go and have a less severe conversation among yourselves.”
“I suddenly feel tired too.”
“Sleep, then. I’ll talk next to you.”
Taesu made no attempt to hide the fact that he didn’t want to part with the two people he had met again after so long.
That day, Taesu’s tongue had come loose.
As if he were saying everything he hadn’t been able to say until now, his words did not stop.
It got so bad that Jeong Minsu called a nurse.
As Taesu was being led back to his own hospital room by the nurse, he said one thing.
“I may retreat here today, but next time I won’t be so easy.”
Click.
Once the hospital room door closed, Jeong Minsu and Kim Hyeokgwon experienced the astonishing event of sleeping soundly until the next morning.
Since they shared the same room, Taesu spoke with Dr. Hanks whenever he had the chance.
And as he did, he became certain.
He was already exhausted—far too exhausted.
If he tried to close the distance with someone like that all at once, it would only make things harder for him.
Taesu discussed that with James.
“Would it be possible to leave all plans undecided?”
“It doesn’t seem easy.”
“It’s incredibly difficult. I still haven’t found a hint that could draw out his will.”
“That’s serious. But is there a possibility?”
When James asked, Taesu answered briefly and firmly.
“It’s my disgrace if a patient under my care has no will to live.”
“Good. Even if you have to create it, do so.”
“Yes. I’ll report to you in between.”
Because he was providing twenty-four-hour care, Taesu was able to be entrusted with a little more authority.
And a few days passed.
Taesu picked up a stethoscope for the first time in a while.
A patient gown and a stethoscope.
They did not suit each other at all.
However, Taesu asked Dr. Hanks naturally,
“May I examine you for a bit?”
“Go ahead.”
Unexpectedly, Dr. Hanks readily agreed.
At the same time,
Taesu was not acting alone.
Jeong Minsu and Kim Hyeokgwon were with him.
At Taesu’s signal, they each spread out.
Rustle.
Among them, Taesu hooked the stethoscope into his ears and approached Dr. Hanks.
“I’ll listen to your sounds.”
“Do as you please.”
Dr. Hanks agreed again in his easygoing way.
Taesu placed the stethoscope against his chest and listened to his heart first.
Thump, th-thump, thump, th-thump.
The heartbeat sounded slightly different.
His gaze turned to the ECG that had been added today.
Beep, beep.
As he compared it with the ECG waveform, he informed Jeong Minsu.
“Decreased left atrial function.”
Hearing that, Jeong Minsu was in the middle of filling out the chart.
Except in special cases, Jeong Minsu handled the chart whenever possible.
Since this was not the first time he was writing it, he only had to enter the additions.
And he wrote down the symptoms Taesu called out in abbreviated form.
Scratch, scratch.
“Mm, and?”
“A slight metallic sound in the bronchi and lungs. Some signs of a pulmonary abscess.”
“Okay. Pulmonary abscess.”
Scratch, scratch.
Jeong Minsu had developed the meticulous habit of repeating things once more to confirm them.
Between the two of them, Kim Hyeokgwon pushed in the medical cart at just the right timing.
Rumble.
“Any injections I should prepare?”
“An apophlegmatic and an anti-inflammatory agent.”
“Give me a moment.”
Clack, clatter.
His hands, preparing the medications from the medical cart, were quick as well.
The sight of the three of them like this had now become part of daily life.
And taking the patient’s profession into consideration, they were conversing in English.
Dr. Hanks seemed to understand that consideration as well.
After looking over the three of them, he smiled softly and said,
“You have the basics down well, and the three of you work well together.”
“Only at times like this.”
“What are you like normally?”
“Sworn enemies.”
Taesu even shook his head from side to side.
Still smiling, Dr. Hanks said,
“You have to show your feelings to each other in ordinary times for harmony to come at decisive moments.”
“Is that so?”
“You can trust me on that.”
Dr. Hanks’s voice was full of certainty.
So Taesu asked naturally,
“It seems you had colleagues like that too, Doctor.”
“I did.”
Strangely, his answer was in the past tense.
Did he no longer think of himself as a doctor?
Perhaps that might be the case.
There was a reason he felt that way.
First of all, he simply complied with everything that was said.
He did not offer a different view or opinion, nor advice or admonition.
He was a specialist of twenty years, while Taesu was a first-year resident.
Even if Taesu had become skilled in field medicine, he could not possibly look perfect in Dr. Hanks’s eyes.
Yet he said nothing about it.
He felt like a bystander.
“I have entrusted everything to you, so I will wait for the result.”
It wasn’t exact, but he gave off a similar nuance.
Having faced many patients, Taesu could vaguely guess.
There was no clear purpose in his reason for wanting to live.
The final vacation James had mentioned?
The troublesome thing was that Taesu could not glimpse in Dr. Hanks any desperate longing strong enough to endure surgery.
Taesu furrowed his brow without Dr. Hanks noticing.
‘This is difficult.’
If there was no genuine desire for life, then whether treatment or surgery, doing it a hundred times would be useless.
Why had he wanted a final vacation?
It couldn’t have been something he had said lightly.
But now?
His head hurt.
As Taesu continued the examination, he organized in his mind the questions he would ask.
A moment later.
The three of them were outside the hospital room.
All of their expressions had darkened.
It was because the two of them had also sensed the atmosphere Taesu had felt a little while ago.
Thud.
Kim Hyeokgwon, leaning heavily against the wall, spoke bitterly.
“He’s getting worse and worse.”
“It’s not a disease that gets better just because you tell it to.”
Jeong Minsu added.
After thinking for a moment, Taesu said to the two of them,
“I think we’ll have to set today as D-Day.”
“You’re going to poke at him a bit?”
At Kim Hyeokgwon’s guess, Taesu nodded.
“Yes. If I’m going to do it, I should poke quickly.”
“If you poke wrong and the emotions he’s been boiling inside burst open, that’ll be a headache too.”
“Then should I leave him alone?”
“Damn it! He’s making life hard for everyone.”
Thud, thud.
Kim Hyeokgwon took it out on the innocent wall for no reason.
Taesu’s gaze immediately turned to Jeong Minsu.
“First, show the chart to James and tell him about this as well.”
“You think he doesn’t know?”
“……He’s probably more focused on the success of the surgery.”
Taesu could not say what was deep inside and spoke around it instead.
At that nuance, Jeong Minsu tilted his head and asked,
“How do you know?”
“He’s someone who devoted twenty years to an NGO.”
“Ah, right. In hospitals too, in cases like this, they treat the person as a VVIP without question.”
Jeong Minsu understood by using Korean hospitals as an example.
Taesu found it easy to speak because Jeong Minsu had just that much perception.
“Then report to him and get some rest.”
“I don’t really feel like resting……”
“Then look into pancreatic cancer a bit.”
“I guess I should. Then I’ll come to relieve you at mealtime later.”
Jeong Minsu answered lightly and turned away.
Kim Hyeokgwon, who was following after him, glanced at Taesu and asked,
“But what exactly are we right now?”
“What do you mean?”
“Are we medical staff? Or patients?”
“This is all being counted.”
When Taesu let that slip, Kim Hyeokgwon’s expression instantly turned serious.
“What does it matter? What’s important about what we are?”
“It’s not important.”
“Exactly. Doing your best at whatever it is, that’s what matters. Don’t slack off. Be diligent.”
Step. Step.
Kim Hyeokgwon walked away with powerful strides.
Taesu simply accepted it as it was.
Swoosh.
Turning to look at the hospital room, Taesu wore a bitter expression.
The moment he spotted an opportunity, he intended to poke at him right away.
‘I hope it gets through.’
Since he had no idea what would happen, Taesu could not rely on enthusiasm alone.
Taesu entered the hospital room again and slowly closed the door.
Click.
Dr. Hanks was still looking outside.
Taesu headed toward his own bed.
But then, for the first time, Dr. Hanks spoke to him first.
“I stayed in Kashmir for about five years.”
For a moment, Taesu’s eyes gleamed.
‘Goodness. How kind of him to have a pumpkin roll in with the vine attached.’
He couldn’t have been more grateful that Dr. Hanks had started the conversation first.
Taesu naturally approached Dr. Hanks and answered,
“I’m only half a year in. You’re a great senior.”
“I suppose so. But something I couldn’t see over the past five years is only now becoming visible.”
At Dr. Hanks’s answer, Taesu tilted his head.
“What is becoming visible?”
“Everything that can be seen.”
“Everything that can be seen……”
It was a somewhat riddling answer.
But Taesu did not let it pass.
In Dr. Hanks’s current mood, there was no hint of a joke.
Taesu decided to become a little more serious as well.
What did he mean?
After mulling it over several times, Taesu asked with an expression that said he might have guessed.
“Do you mean things like the sky, the earth, and people?”
“I didn’t expect you to give the answer at once.”
“I sometimes forget when the last time was that I looked at the sky too.”
Taesu answered with an awkward expression.
Dr. Hanks turned his gaze back out the window.
Looking far into the distance, he spoke in a low voice, as if letting the words drift away.
“It seems there are things you can only see once you stop.”
“Yes. The sun, the moon, the stars, the filth stuck to the medical tent, even the pebbles rolling along the road.”
It was a modest answer.
They were things that were always there, or things too unimportant to pay attention to.
It seemed Taesu had understood properly.
Dr. Hanks nodded lightly in agreement.
“It seems you’ve lived quite a busy life too, Dr. Choi.”
“Isn’t this the most hectic time for me?”
“You know that well.”
“Some of it I heard in passing, and some of it I think so myself.”
Taesu’s answer flowed out quietly.