"Your entire life has been like this, hasn't it?"
Rusalka speaking with Xenon's face and Xenon's voice was horrifying.
Even knowing that thing was Rusalka, my five senses perceived it so vividly that it felt as if this were truly real.
"You'll end up alone eventually, abandoned by everyone, dying a lonely death from illness."
Rusalka laughed mockingly with a cackling sound.
The sky I had thought clear and refreshing had somehow turned gloomy. The lush grassland vanished, and dry, cracked earth stretched out in every direction.
A handful of sand struck my face in the fiercely whirling wind. I felt a stinging pain sharp enough to make my skin tingle.
This is an illusion—how can it feel so real?
"Surely you didn't believe me when I said I liked you, did you?"
"Enough with this ridiculous mockery. Just hand over the pendant."
"That... you cannot take that from me."
Rusalka seemed strangely triumphant. From his widely gaping mouth, an even clearer green light spilled forth than before.
"Because I ate it!"
This crazy monster bastard.
Curses rose to my throat, but the wind blowing even stronger than before pushed me off balance, and I missed the timing to spit them out.
Meanwhile, Rusalka burst into laughter with a delighted voice. Then suddenly, his expression turned serious.
The eyes that had looked like those of a mad person now wavered pitifully. With the corners of his mouth drawn down, Rusalka spoke in a forlorn voice.
"Ah, Lady Aneli. Surely you don't intend to kill me?"
A trace of hurt crossed his tense face. Surprisingly, that was the face of Xenon as I knew him.
"You're going to stab me with that sword?"
At his words, I quickly looked down and saw a sword in my hand.
It was a dagger with a sharply honed blue blade.
"And after you slit my belly open, if nothing changes? Lady Aneli, if you kill me, you will be left alone forever. In this empty space. You destroyed everything else, didn't you? The only things remaining here are you and me. Will you kill even me and remain alone?"
One drop, two drops of rain fell from the clouds filling the sky.
As if proving Rusalka's words that the world had ended, not a single trace of life could be found nearby. Even from my trembling breath, I couldn't feel anything like the warmth of life.
Cold raindrops striking my cheeks were cooling my chest.
"Lady Aneli, am I not precious to you?"
The loathsome Rusalka whispered.
Asking if I intended to kill the human I cherished with my own hands. Asking if the mere thought wasn't horrifying.
Hearing that question, a filthy feeling rose up as if I'd been covered in filth, and I felt nauseous.
Ah, thinking about it again, Rusalka was truly a cunning and dirty monster I really didn't want to associate with.
I eventually stopped the thought I was following. I didn't want to think about it anymore.
"Damn it."
I swept my bangs up in irritation and rose from the bed.
I should drink some water to calm myself. With that thought, the moment I approached the table, a faint sound came from beyond the balcony door's latch.
'An intruder?'
No, if that were the case, the Durahans would have given some signal long ago. I held the water glass and stared blankly at the balcony.
Because thick curtains were drawn, no shadow was visible. But something seemed to be moving back and forth between the curtains.
After hesitating briefly, I set down the glass and strode toward the balcony.
Whoosh!
I pulled the curtains forcefully to the side and froze. The person standing outside also looked at me with round eyes.
"...Xenon?"
Click.
I unlocked the door and threw it open, and cold night air rushed into the bedroom all at once. I stepped aside to indicate he should come in.
"Um, well."
"Are you going to just stand there?"
He rolled his eyes this way and that, not knowing what to do, then cleared his throat awkwardly.
"That's not it, I..."
"Just come in first."
Xenon, fidgeting with an embarrassed expression, cautiously stepped into the bedroom. I closed the door immediately after he entered, but the air in the room had already grown cool.
"I thought you were asleep."
"As you can see, I'm not. So what's going on?"
Xenon cautiously pushed back his hood, and just as he was about to say something, his eyes met mine and he looked away with a mortified expression.
I watched him in bewilderment, then suddenly came to my senses and approached him with quick steps.
"Is there a problem? Were you attacked? Are you hurt somewhere?"
"No, no!" Xenon hurriedly stepped back. He still couldn't look at me properly.
I frowned at Xenon's utterly strange behavior and caught his arm to stop him.
"Then why are you acting like this?"
With his arm caught by me, Xenon jumped and turned his head away completely.
"Is, is there something like a nightgown?"
I could see Xenon's earlobes turning bright red as he desperately avoided looking at me. I looked at him in a daze, then finally glanced down at my own attire.
As if proving I had been about to go to bed, I was wearing a thin chemise.
It was a loose dress style that didn't cinch the waist, but it was thin enough that the lines of my body showed through.
"Ah."
When I reflexively released Xenon's arm, he immediately put distance between us as if he'd been waiting for it.
I watched blankly as he retreated nearly to the far end of the bedroom, practically ready to press himself against the wall, then calmly put on a robe.
"I won't eat you, so you don't need to be so terrified."
"Eat you—who's saying such things right now...!"
Xenon tried to retort with an exasperated face, then sighed and stopped speaking. He checked my attire with a sidelong glance and sidled up closer to me.
Then he carefully reached out and fastened the front of my robe more thoroughly.
However, since he kept looking elsewhere, he couldn't fasten it neatly.
I watched what Xenon was doing with incredulous eyes and asked in a calm voice.
"Did you come to inspect my sleepwear?"
"As if!"
He finally wrapped my collarbone and everything below my neck tightly with the robe and at last faced me.
"Um, hem. Earlier when we parted, your expression was so troubled, I was worried."
"If you were curious about my condition, you could have used the ring."
"I didn't want to wake you when you were sleeping, so I just came myself. Since leaving the Imperial Palace, visiting here isn't particularly difficult for me."
Xenon seemed to regain his composure as he explained. Though his complexion still held traces of red, his gaze now carried much more reason.
"And since you took all of Rusalka's attacks, I came to check if there might be any aftereffects."
The moment I heard Rusalka's name, my face contorted automatically.
Seeing my reaction, Xenon narrowed his eyes and asked.
"Did something remain?"
"No, nothing like that."
"But your expression looks bad."
"It's just, thinking about it puts me in a bad mood."
In the end, I seized the power and opened my eyes. The Rusalkas tried to attack me again in disbelief, but they met their end by Palides's sword before they could.
Since I tried to kill several at once, a few attempted to flee urgently into the water, but thanks to Samuel joining in, we didn't let them escape.
With that task finished, I reclaimed the power that had been stolen. It was now in my hands.
"Getting out of that last dream must have been... quite difficult."
Instead of answering, I turned away. I picked up the glass I'd set down earlier and downed the water in one go, then looked back at Xenon.
"So, are you going to put me to sleep?"
When I asked nonchalantly, Xenon looked at me with a blank expression.
"...Excuse me?"
"I was having trouble sleeping just now, and it was vexing."
He chewed over my words aloud.
After repeating the action once or twice, Xenon's complexion turned blue, then white, and finally red.
"Um, I am a person."
"I know. That you're a person."
Looking at Xenon standing there befuddled, I found it funny how I'd overlapped that damn illusion fake with him.
The Xenon that Rusalka had mimicked had only looked cunning and treacherous.
'That's the real one.'
I was erasing the Rusalka who had called me a monster from my mind when Xenon spoke hurriedly.
"No, I mean I'm real, not an illusion."
"I said I know."
I replied listlessly and headed to the bed first.
'Since he stayed by my side before, this time I should tell him to guard my side.'
I'd been considering calling some Durahans anyway, so this was actually convenient.
Since Xenon's ability would make leaving the Roam mansion easy, I felt less guilty about keeping him at a late hour.
Even after I finished straightening the rumpled bedding, Xenon stood rooted to that spot.
"Do you normally have this little sense of crisis?"
"Hardly. You know well how much I distrust and am wary of people."
Having adjusted the pillow position as well, I looked back at Xenon.
Seeing him not moving a single step from where he stood, a deflated laugh escaped me.
I said:
"What I mean is, right now, I need the sound of breathing."
At that moment, Xenon's expression, which had been full of consternation, stiffened rigidly.
He moved his lips futilely for a moment, then let out a long sigh and removed his outer coat. After casually draping it over the sofa, he approached me slowly.
"I don't know what to call this feeling of being glad yet not glad."
His face was as ambivalent as his murmured complaint. I scoffed and turned away.
"If it's good, it's good. If it's not good, it's not good."
"You're asking me to stay by your side, so I am glad, but..."
Just as I was about to slip under the covers, the presence that had drawn close in an instant pressed right up behind my back.
My breath stopped automatically at the arm wrapping around my waist from behind.
"It also feels bad because you seem to have no attraction to me whatsoever."
The voice grumbling near my ear was slightly low. The end of his words seemed to tremble a bit, too.
Exhaling the breath I'd held, I turned my head to the side.
The golden eyes looking down at me from close by wavered slightly when they met mine.
Numerous emotions rippled within them. So many that I couldn't pick out just one.
"Is there a nightmare you want to forget?"
Xenon's face as he asked that was closer than I'd thought.
Close enough that our breaths could touch.
What do I need right now?
Looking up at Xenon, who skillfully kept only his breath reaching me from so close, I suddenly wondered.
Why am I making such nonsensical excuses to hold Xenon back?
'What I'm wanting from this man right now is...'