The jealousy and envy he felt toward their bond, knowing an Anelli he did not know.
'...This is difficult.'
He couldn't gauge at all how far he was allowed to ask, how far he was allowed to want.
Is first love always this difficult?
Eventually, Xenon, who had risen back up, roughly rubbed his face with both hands.
Anelli, who woke after a few hours, said everything had ended well. Seeing Samuel's relieved expression and the other Durahans bustling about, her words seemed to be correct.
So now it was time to let her rest properly. Anelli had returned home, and she was probably in bed by now.
'If I contact her, I'll just end up waking her for nothing.'
Unable to bring himself to activate the ring, Xenon only fiddled with it before finally getting off the bed.
Arms crossed, he glanced out the dark window and paced around the room for no reason.
He wanted to ask what illusion she had seen from the final attack, why she had woken so late, but he couldn't bring himself to do that to her exhausted face.
Somehow, he had a feeling he wouldn't get a proper answer even if he asked.
So would now be any different? There was no way her fatigue had resolved in just a few hours. It was better to let it pass for today and ask indirectly later when there was more leisure.
Even while thinking that, Xenon kept putting his hand on the ring.
'Even as an illusion, no. I don't even know what she's doing right now, so I can't just randomly transition through projection.'
What Anelli needed was high-quality deep sleep. Not the kind where that trash fiancé appeared, but dreamless, restorative sleep.
Xenon had long ago asked his master 'whether there were aftereffects from Rusalka's attacks' and received the answer that 'there are no aftereffects remaining on the body.'
So, no, wait.
"If there are no aftereffects remaining on the body, does that mean there are some on the mind?"
His pacing footsteps stopped abruptly. Xenon turned his head to look out the window. Perhaps because of the pitch-black outdoors, his pale face was reflected particularly clearly on the glass.
Come to think of it, this was an inn in the capital. Not the imperial palace where people would cause trouble if he used magic.
And Xenon was a mage. The successor to the Lord of the Magic Tower, a mage of considerable skill.
His judgment was quick.
"...I can just quietly check if she's alright. There's no need to contact her through the ring, right?"
He had been to Anelli's room once, so he could find it. Xenon pulled up his hood and made up his mind.
Just through the balcony, slightly, very quietly, he would only look at her face and return.
* * *
Fatigue pressed down on my entire body, but I couldn't close my eyes.
'In Father's office, my whole body felt so heavy I could collapse at any moment.'
But now that I was trying to sleep, even lying down comfortably was difficult.
Pressing firmly against my throbbing temples, I slumped against the bed and lifted my gaze.
Usually, I kept at least one Durahan by my side, but at bedtime, I left the bedroom empty.
However, tonight this silence grated on me. Would it be better if I just called someone?
Zigor or Tristan, or at worst Minte or Mori.
Thinking of the Durahans I could keep in the bedroom, I let out a long sigh. Even with Durahans nearby, I didn't think sleep would suddenly come.
Staring blankly at the empty bedroom, I suddenly looked down at my palm.
As I clenched and opened my hand, a greenish aura rippled from my palm.
'Power.'
The power returned from Rusalka. The power that the former captain had yielded to Mori was now in my hands.
Watching the faint green light, the events from earlier came to mind.
The Rusalkas that had tangled together into a massive form, their final attack on me. The illusion I saw through that final attack.
Something like Maxell become emperor didn't appear in it.
'To think they would attack in that way.'
Showing similar illusions repeatedly at the beginning seemed intended to lure me into carelessness while simultaneously wearing me down.
I had to admit it. I had been taking Rusalka too lightly.
"In the end, I won, so..."
But I couldn't just shake everything off by saying it was fine since I won. The illusion I had just seen wouldn't leave my mind.
The beginning was ordinary. Just a blue meadow.
A high sky, a gentle breeze blowing softly, warm sunlight, and the fresh scent of flowers.
Even though I had been attacked several times and fallen into illusions before, I nearly succumbed to those vivid sensations.
「Looks like they put some effort into preparing this time.」
Even so, Maxell become emperor would probably pop out from somewhere and spout nonsense.
Standing idly in the meadow, I muttered dully and began walking. As I walked, I think. Somehow, the scenery seemed familiar.
Even though all I could see was sky, grass, and trees.
Maxell, who I thought would jump out at any moment, or the annoying courtiers of the imperial palace, ladies fluttering their fans and gentlemen putting on airs—none of them were here.
「What is this?」
Since nothing they showed worked, were they just going to abandon me in this empty field?
When such suspicion arose, something popped out from between the bushes.
「...Tristan?」
A black amber bee. That was Tristan. Tristan circled around me.
A little later, something like a black earthworm passed by my feet. It was Mori.
Like that, the beings revealing themselves one by one were my Durahans.
Thanks to that, I could tell this illusion wasn't a dream from before my head was cut off. Something like Maxell become emperor wouldn't appear.
「But something's strange.」
Staring blankly at the whinnying Nadab, I turned my eyes to Palides. Palides in black armor stood still like a doll.
Something bizarrely unsettling was felt. I looked at each of the Durahans who had revealed themselves and examined them closely.
It didn't take long to realize what the unease was.
「This is, not great.」
The Durahans weren't speaking. Not a single word.
Thinking about how noisy and chaotic it usually was when these fellows gathered, this scene now was not just strange but rather unpleasant.
In the quiet, the sound of grass being stepped on occasionally rose as the Durahans moved.
'Wasn't it supposed to make me dream a dream I didn't want to wake from?'
I had been certain that Rusalka's method was to tempt the opponent with a dream they desperately wanted, a dream they absolutely didn't want to wake from.
But the scene spread before me now was somehow strange. It wasn't a situation where I felt happy enough to want to stay.
Rather, the emotion I felt now was....
'Displeasure?'
Yes, it was closer to displeasure.
I could converse with the Durahans whenever I wanted, and the Durahans had shown me absolute favor.
Even Mori, who had kept his distance from me at first, had gradually bowed his head.
But in this illusion where I should be happy, I rather felt that the Durahans were treating me awkwardly.
「What is this?」
Even knowing it was an illusion, a sharp question burst out.
Palides looked at me for a moment, then slowly retreated. Palides, who had answered brightly saying he was fortunate to meet me, was putting distance between us.
「Palides?」
It wasn't just Palides. Zigor hovering around me, Tristan, Mori, Ganik, Minte, Bark, even Nadab....
Without thinking, I reached my hand toward them. Then Mori, who was nearby, noticeably avoided my touch and quickly disappeared into the grass.
Calmly turning to grab another one, Minte leaped away in an arc. Following that, Bark with his massive body moved away, then Ganik, Palides, Tristan.
Watching the Durahans turn their backs on me without answering, with eyes full of disbelief, I let my arms drop.
Now only Zigor and Nadab remained before me.
Still, those two said nothing.
「What kind of...」
Is this even an illusion?
The moment I spat out the trailing words as if crumbling, Zigor flew high and disappeared into the sky. Now only a black horse remained before me.
Smoke rose from the standing horse. It soon wrapped around Nadab's body, and a Durahan wearing heavy black armor revealed himself.
「Nadab.」
My first meeting with Nadab came to mind.
Nadab, who had said he was glad to meet the captain, stood silently before me. He looked down at me like that, then slowly raised his sword.
He was going to swing it at me.
Frozen in surprise, unable to even think of avoiding, someone grabbed me hard from behind.
「Lady Anelli!」
A heavy greatsword grazed dangerously past my nose and drove into the ground. At the echoing thud, cold sweat ran down the back of my neck.
Without even time to feel relief at the fact that my life had been saved in that instant, the Nadab before my eyes was engulfed in flames.
「Nadab!」
Nadab writhed in agony. I wanted to approach him, but because of the strength holding my arms from behind, I instead moved further from Nadab.
「What are you, let...!」
Shaking off the hand gripping my arm firmly, I turned around and stopped still.
「...Xenon.」
At my mutter mixed with groaning, the Xenon before me smiled with a pale face.
「It was unavoidable to protect Lady Anelli.」
Looking blankly at Xenon's face as he said that he had to kill Nadab for my sake, I grit my teeth.
「You're fake.」
「They are monsters in the end. Your companionship with those ones has its end determined.」
「You're not Xenon.」
Nadab, wrapped in flames, was writhing and dying, and the one who had burned him to death was Xenon. No, something wearing Xenon's face....
From the beginning, all of this was illusion and falsehood. The Durahans who left, the dying Nadab, and Xenon with his unfamiliar expression.
「But Lady Anelli, you're a monster too.」
Even knowing it was all fake, my breath caught.
「Stop that pathetic imitation.」
「Because I'm human. How could I be with monsters?」
「Give me the pendant and get lost.」
「Poor Lady Anelli.」
Xenon opened his mouth wide and laughed. From deep within his open throat, I could see a familiar light faintly seeping out.
「A pitiful woman, used even as a walking corpse unable to escape even in death!」
I realized. This was not a dream too happy to wake from, but a nightmare too vicious to struggle free from.