〈 Episode 622 〉 Choices and Decisions.
He, who had worn only a faint smile or an impassive expression.
For the first time since hearing the word “Pureblood,” he showed a surprised look.
“Huh.”
“Is it correct?”
“How did you know?”
“Half of it was a guess.”
I had spit out the hypothesis that seemed most plausible among the many.
It just happened to luckily hit the mark.
“It was something I was going to mention regardless. But having it guessed correctly takes the fun out of it.”
It was absurd that he sought amusement even in the midst of all this.
[Isn’t it boring?]
That bastard Yuseon had sought amusement like that too, after all.
Anyway.
‘…So that’s why.’
Listening to the Palace Lord, I finally came to understand the facts that had previously eluded me.
There is an Ice Core holding back the extreme cold. And if the Palace Lord’s vital energy is what maintains that Ice Core.
‘From the North Sea’s perspective, it isn’t strange for the Ice Palace’s bloodline to be maintained.’
One might suspect that another seized royal power within it and kidnapped and imprisoned the innate bloodlines solely to use them for sustaining vital energy.
But the fact that this was not done.
Means there is also a reason for that.
“As the young lord suspected. The Palace Lord is necessary to maintain the Ice Core. To be precise, it is for the safety of the North Sea.”
I looked at the Palace Lord who was speaking.
The Palace Lord was in a half-dragon state.
After hearing the story, I felt I could faintly understand the reason for that appearance.
‘Because dragons have tenacious vital energy.’
The reason the curse blossoms and causes dragonification.
Could it be that it forcibly shed its form to maintain the Ice Core?
If that were the case….
‘He is truly a son of a bitch.’
I felt I understood what a bastard that so-called Dragon Lord was.
He planted a device on one side to drive in the extreme cold.
On the other side, he created a contradiction where that extreme cold had to be blocked using vital energy.
Meaning they had to forcibly prolong their lives just to maintain it.
He even implanted power in the name of a curse to facilitate that process.
‘…Is the Ice Core truly that necessary?’
Or.
Was there another reason?
I did not know which of the two it was.
But it was no different that he had drenched the North Sea in extreme cold for centuries for his own goal.
‘To wait for the Pureblood.’
It was a curse planted for that purpose.
And that so-called Pureblood.
‘Me.’
Had become me, and I had arrived here now.
Leaving aside what it is.
It meant the current situation was indeed about me.
‘Wait.’
In the midst of my thoughts, a question arose from the Palace Lord’s words.
“The Palace Lord’s child. That bastard Yuseon was also a dragon. Does that mean he is the next-generation Palace Lord?”
Dragonification like the Palace Lord’s.
No, that guy was even closer to being a dragon than that.
Since his state was that of a dragon.
If the Palace Lord’s words were true, wouldn’t that mean he is the next-generation Palace Lord?
When I asked this.
“That is correct.”
“…!”
I had to widen my eyes upon hearing those words.
“Though the formal procedure was not followed. That should be correct.”
“…It wasn’t done through procedure?”
“Originally, when the position of Palace Lord is passed on, the curse is lifted.”
When the position is passed on, the curse is released.
This.
‘…Is a similar principle to the bloodline curse.’
There, the curse was lifted when one bore children.
This seemed somewhat better.
“And, the one who originally held the position of Palace Lord would meet death in that position once the curse is lifted.”
I was about to think it was fine, but this too seemed fucked up.
To become the Palace Lord and barely endure while one’s vital energy is rapidly drained.
And die the moment you pass on the position?
Isn’t that too miserable a life?
‘So that’s why it’s a curse.’
Listening to the Palace Lord, I felt it more keenly. However.
“But how are you still alive, Palace Lord?”
It was a cruel question, but I had to ask it.
If that bastard inherited the position of Palace Lord, how can you be alive now?
If the Palace Lord’s condition is still like that.
What does that make Yuseon?
At my question, the Palace Lord fell silent for a moment with a serious expression.
Was it to choose his words? Or to think?
I could not tell which.
I endured the silence and waited for an answer.
Finally, the Palace Lord looked at me and spoke.
“The position of Palace Lord has passed. My physical body, which is gradually collapsing, is the proof.”
Hearing his words, I examined the Palace Lord’s body again.
A body gradually collapsing.
‘So that body is the problem caused by the position passing?’
I had heard one would die immediately.
Contrary to those words, the Palace Lord was slowly approaching death.
“The cause of this is likely a problem that arose because the proper procedure was not followed.”
The Palace Lord immediately continued his explanation regarding the doubt.
“Because it was usurpation rather than succession, a problem must have occurred in the principles.”
He forcibly seized the position.
In that process, a problem occurred with the curse.
‘So that’s the reason he’s slowly dying.’
Which means.
‘It means that bastard Yuseon forcibly took the Palace Lord’s position.’
What reason could there be for doing so?
‘What good is it?’
From what I heard, there didn’t seem to be a single advantage to the position of Palace Lord.
Not only does assuming the position activate the curse and cause dragonification.
Even if the physical body grows stronger, its vital energy is sucked dry by the Ice Core.
Was there really any need to forcibly take such a thing?
‘Maybe if they kept these matters secret from the children.’
From what Yuri had mentioned.
It meant they knew to some extent, if not perfectly.
Given the situation.
I still could not understand why Yuseon had to do such a thing.
Then.
“The position of Palace Lord.”
The Palace Lord added, toward me who was thinking.
“It is a position obtained only when chosen by the Ice Core.”
The Ice Core’s choice?
“Normally, the Palace Lord chooses and the Ice Core accepts the result, but….”
Swish.
The Palace Lord reached out and stroked the spherical Ice Core.
“That things have come to this means I believe the Ice Core chose that child.”
The Ice Core chose Yuseon.
What difference would that make?
It was not something I could know.
What was important.
“So, what is his goal? And what am I supposed to do here?”
What did Yuseon intend to do after obtaining the position of Palace Lord?
And what was the Palace Lord’s purpose in bringing me here?
On top of that.
“What is a Pureblood?”
The most important question.
What on earth is a Pureblood?
What is it that the Dragon Lord placed the Ice Core here for?
And waited for a Pureblood’s existence to arrive?
‘Why is that role me now?’
It was time to unravel all doubts.
The Palace Lord smiled at this question.
“A Pureblood is one who has awakened and ascended on their own, not through change via blossoming.”
“…”
“Breaking the full vessel. A being who has ascended to dragonhood through the power of their true self. That is what Pureblood is. That is how the saying has been passed down.”
I had to frown upon hearing those words.
‘Break the vessel with the power of the true self?’
Ridiculous.
It was the story farthest from me.
Not becoming a dragon through curse or blossoming.
A being who became a dragon by breaking the vessel.
If that is what is called Pureblood. It might be correct in meaning, but.
‘It’s the most different thing from me.’
I am a hybrid who swallowed all sorts of fortuitous encounters and contained unknown existences within my body.
I was the one least suited to the word “on their own.”
‘But I’m a Pureblood?’
There was no way.
“In the first place, merely awakening the vessel cannot make one a dragon…. Young Lord. You must have had bloodline hidden within you capable of achieving this.”
Meaning, I would never have had reason to come here otherwise.
If he hadn’t predicted that I would regress.
He couldn’t have created such a situation.
This means.
‘It means there was someone who should have come here instead of me.’
I recalled while listening to the Palace Lord.
Wasn’t there the one who left the Ice Core here in the first place?
Dragon Lord.
No.
‘Blood Demon.’
The Ice Core was his possession.
I don’t know if that bastard was a Pureblood or what.
If.
‘He predicted his own resurrection and left the Ice Core here in advance?’
Or, if his intention was to send someone else to see this.
‘He wouldn’t have made this expecting me to come. So that’s the most likely possibility.’
Which means.
‘Is it right to think of this as a safety device left by the Blood Demon?’
In fact, the Blood Demon was already scheming while borrowing others’ bodies.
Rather, it was probably right to see it that way.
‘Might he not have known either?’
That someone would meet the conditions and become a Pureblood Dragon.
And thus arrive here. Might he not have known that either?
That’s what I thought.
It’s a complicated prognosis.
As I didn’t think I could reach a proper conclusion.
“…So, what is Yuseon’s goal? You said it really isn’t simply treason.”
First, I decided to ask about Yuseon.
“He obtained the position of Palace Lord. And if you’re dying as a result of the aftermath, isn’t it not simply treason?”
“…”
It was not an act done to obtain the position of Palace Lord.
This was something I could tell from the explanation the current Palace Lord gave.
Then what is it.
The reason Yuseon, who became a dragon, is doing this.
“That is probably….”
The Palace Lord pointed at the Ice Core again with his hand.
“He wishes to obtain that Ice Core.”
“Yes?”
I had to express my doubt immediately upon hearing that.
“He wants the Ice Core?”
“If one became a dragon by being chosen, they would need this in order to become more complete.”
What did that mean.
He needs this Ice Core more to become complete?
Moreover.
“Then. Shouldn’t you not be here, on the contrary?”
I found something strange in the Palace Lord’s words.
“If he wants this Ice Core, you shouldn’t have chosen this place as a hideout…!”
Ah.
I realized while spitting out the words.
No way.
“You….”
The Palace Lord from the beginning.
“Are you waiting?”
Here.
Is the Palace Lord waiting for Yuseon?
Did he not flee here calling it a hideout, but rather was waiting?
The Palace Lord neither denied nor affirmed regarding my words, but I was already certain.
That my words were correct.
“For what…? Why are you waiting?”
“Because the twisted must be set right.”
“Then you should have received treatment from me instead.”
His deteriorating body.
I wasn’t sure I could lift the curse, but he should have at least tried.
Back then, the Palace Lord had clearly refused my treatment.
Saying he had no intention of receiving such a thing.
“If I received that, I could not stop that child.”
The Palace Lord admitted he was waiting for his enemy here.
“What do you mean….”
“One who becomes Palace Lord can know many things.”
A slight tremble arose in the Palace Lord’s hand that was touching the Ice Core.
“What is inside this Ice Core. Why it is referred to as an egg and a heart.”
Furthermore.
“If this Ice Core hatches as an egg, what will happen.”
“Hatch…?”
At the Palace Lord’s words, I too looked at the Ice Core.
Hatch? Does that thing really serve the purpose of an egg?
If that was really the case, what was inside it?
“If that child’s goal was simply to want the position of Palace Lord, I would have yielded it at any time. But….”
The Palace Lord spoke, his vertically split eyes gleaming.
“I know. That child’s goal is hatching, not the position.”
Yuseon’s purpose is to hatch the Ice Core.
Saying that he will come here for that.
“So, you’re saying you’ll stop the incoming Yuseon? With that broken body?”
“Because that is the surest method.”
Not taking refuge, but lying in wait.
That was the reason the Palace Lord was waiting in front of the iron door of the hideout.
Which meant.
“Why did you call me here?”
What was the reason for bringing me to the Ice Core after all?
This was the most important question that everything circled back to.
What I must do here.
What did the Palace Lord hope for when he brought me here? When I asked that.
“That, I do not know either.”
“What?”
I had to make a blank expression for a moment at the answer I heard.
“You don’t know? Then why did you call me here?”
“I called you here purely following the karmic tie. As for anything beyond that, I do not know.”
“This is another headache-inducing crazy talk.”
He brought me to this place because he knew I was a Pureblood, but didn’t actually know what I was supposed to do here.
Just when I was wondering what the hell I was supposed to do with this.
“That I do not know means that you know.”
The Palace Lord said to me.
“If I knew that, why would I bother asking the Palace Lor—”
“You merely do not know because you have not decided.”
“…!”
“Is that not so?”
I had to clamp my mouth shut at the Palace Lord’s words.
“It means you cannot see it simply because you have yet to grasp the direction.”
[I see. So that’s why.]
It overlapped with what Yuseon had said.
‘I don’t know the answer because I haven’t decided?’
Am I a dragon?
Or if not that, am I human?
Because I couldn’t decide that, I don’t know what I must do after coming here.
Is that true?
Even after having come all this way, the situation was forcing a choice upon me.
It was a damnable affair, but.
I already knew.
That it was already far too late.
Whether the Palace Lord’s words were true or not, leaving that aside.
[How trivial.]
Even though I had failed to choose and had it taken from me.
It meant I was still standing at a crossroads, harboring a pathetic hesitation.
“…Do you too wish for me to choose, Palace Lord?”
“I do not know. I do not know your life, so I cannot offer advice or meddle. Simply what I know is this.”
The vertically slit pupils turned toward me.
“That you appear to have far too many shortcomings to achieve anything at this moment.”
“…”
That I couldn’t even settle on a mere mindset.
What problem was there that made it so difficult?
I couldn’t know.
I didn’t want to know.
But.
‘Damn it.’
It was something I had already learned right after meeting Yuseon.
The emotion I had felt in the moment I hung powerlessly and had Woohyeok taken from me.
After opening my eyes and meeting Nangong Biya, embracing her, the anxiety that Nangong Biya too might be taken from me someday.
Feeling that, I realized.
That I was full of shortcomings if I were to indulge in my own greed.
‘I said I wouldn’t be particular about means and methods. And yet I didn’t do so.’
The reason is one.
—I want to live as a human.
That one sordid desire.
My past life as a human had failed to live as one, so I wanted to live differently now that I had regressed.
Even though my body had become a dragon.
I wanted to be human.
It was such a longing.
It was an incompetent and miserable hesitation.
That was what had grabbed me by the ankle and dragged me along until now.
‘…’
I looked at the Ice Core and thought.
Though my gaze was directed at the Ice Core.
In my head, I was thinking of others.
I briefly recalled several of them.
Then closed my eyes.
“…Just a moment. Could you give me some time?”
I didn’t hear an answer.
It would be more correct to say I didn’t listen.
I kept thinking.
The hesitation that wondered what would change even if I erased my hesitation and reached a conclusion.
Though I held it in my arms.
Ridiculously, I had known how to choose all along.
I had merely been turning away from it.
Pretending to worry, putting it off further and further back.
I just wanted to postpone it even a little longer.
Hwoong—!
When I closed my eyes like that and opened them again.
“…”
I stood atop a world charred black and turned to ashes.
There was no need to wonder where this was.
‘Because I already knew.’
This place is inside my heart.
I could have come at any time.
I could have faced it at any time.
This place was the hesitation I had not done so.
Inside a world where everything had burned away and nothing remained.
A very small space that had barely survived without burning.
I walked toward that place.
[Huuu… Huuuuu…!]
I heard crying.
[Huuuuuuh….]
Inside a world where only flames burned.
A child’s crying echoed.
Crunch.
I trampled the ashes and walked toward the crying.
[…Mama… Mamaaaa!]
In the barely unburned place within the ruined world.
A child was howling for its mother, vomiting out fear that it would burn and disappear if it moved even a little.
I stood on the burnt ground and looked at that child.
[Huuuh… Uuuuuuh… I don’t like this….]
Eyes that looked fierce for a child.
Eyes and nose red and swollen from crying so much.
A body trembling and huddling in fear.
It was my childhood self.
Also.
It was the form of the hesitation that had barely remained as my humanity.
[Mama…!! I’m scared…!! Where did you go…!]
“…”
Watching the figure crying sorrowfully, I had to laugh bitterly.
“Nice to meet you.”
And I said.
“Want to have a word with your big brother?”
Now.
It was time to end it.