〈 Episode 430 〉 Numbness (2)
Death.
Ouyang Tian’s brows furrowed at those words, distant yet strangely familiar.
“What on earth….”
It was far too sudden.
To say he would die soon?
He stared at Shen Yi with wide eyes, and the latter calmly continued his explanation.
“Every human being inevitably possesses what is called a vessel. You know this as well.”
“…Yes.”
A vessel unique to every human being.
It could be called the framework that holds qi, or the source of presence that each person possesses.
What was Shen Yi’s purpose in bringing up such a vessel?
Ouyang Tian waited for what followed with slightly subdued eyes.
“Your vessel has reached its limit.”
Shen Yi’s words sent a cold, hollow feeling through his stomach.
“…What do you mean?”
“That you can use multiple forms of qi simultaneously, and that the vessel containing them has reached its limit, are different matters.”
Even if the danger of qi clashing and exploding had been resolved, the vessel overflowing or shattering was another story entirely.
What raised a question was:
“Such a matter… I don’t recall hearing it before.”
Despite receiving several examinations from Shen Yi, he had never heard such words.
Hearing Ouyang Tian, Shen Yi let out hollow laughs, as if the notion were absurd.
“I speak of this because I never imagined you would bring in yet another qi. Do you think it makes sense for an ordinary person to fill their vessel to the brim?”
“…”
“Your vessel is not small compared to others. Yet it is filled to the brim. Do you not know what this means?”
If a vessel overflows, the qi that cannot be contained will burst out inside the body.
Even if it does not overflow, it means the vessel could shatter at any moment, turning everything into chaos.
“Is there no solution?”
“As I said before, the fastest method is to destroy your dantian.”
The fastest and relatively safest method was indeed to destroy the dantian and block it.
“…That I cannot do.”
It was a choice no different from death.
There were far more than one or two events yet to come.
For Ouyang Tian, becoming an ordinary person by destroying his dantian was not an option.
“Is there no other way?”
At Ouyang Tian’s words, Shen Yi’s brows furrowed deeply.
He was inwardly cursing the foolishness of clinging to martial arts even at this point.
To Shen Yi, martial artists had always been such beings.
‘Blockheads who value power over their own lives.’
Only by preserving one’s life could one see precious people.
Only by living could one promise a future.
And yet these fools were no different from moths to a flame.
Not knowing Ouyang Tian’s situation in detail, Shen Yi merely felt stifled.
Were such things truly more important than death?
Recalling the martial artists who had died thus, Shen Yi could only furrow his face.
“If you refuse that, there are two methods.”
Still, he presented the methods.
Because he believed that was at least what a physician must do.
So there were methods after all. Just as Ouyang Tian’s expression changed—
“You need only stop increasing the amount of qi. If you maintain your current state, with luck, you may live out your natural lifespan.”
“…”
In other words.
It meant to stop training and not increase his internal qi any further.
Even if not internal qi, to give up thoughts of increasing any other qi.
To cease growing and live while maintaining the present state.
Perhaps those were the right words.
If he only settled the uncomfortable aspects that made his Huajing feel incomplete, it was a relatively intact state.
Considering that martial artists of Huajing in the Central Plains numbered at most in the thousands, he might be able to live with his head held high even maintaining his current state.
But….
‘That too is futile.’
He knew better than anyone that he could not do so.
Confirming Ouyang Tian’s troubled expression, Shen Yi let out a deep sigh.
Because he realized this too would not work.
“You are no different from the other blockheads. Can you truly not abandon martial arts?”
“…I apologize.”
Shen Yi would not know.
Ouyang Tian had always been willing to abandon martial arts.
If he wished it, he could have destroyed his dantian and lived as an ordinary person at any moment.
‘Then who would save them?’
This was something that had to be done.
It was not some grandiose talk of saving the world.
The ones he needed to save were merely the people around him.
This martial art existed for that purpose.
Therefore, he could not give up growing.
“Is there… no other way?”
Hadn’t he said there was one more method?
Was that his only hope?
While Ouyang Tian swallowed his anxiety, Shen Yi began to speak with a sigh.
“It may not be a cure, but extending the duration is possible.”
“What do you mean…?”
“I mean it is possible to lower the danger through medicine. A cure is impossible. That is beyond even my hands.”
“…”
Ouyang Tian fell into thought upon hearing Shen Yi’s words.
Shen Yi quietly took in that sight.
Throughout his conversation with Ouyang Tian, Shen Yi had felt an indescribable sense of alienation.
Whether finished with his thoughts, Ouyang Tian touched his own lips and asked Shen Yi.
“…That medicine—can only you make it, Shen Yi?”
“Yes. It is something only I can do in all of Central Plains.”
That made sense.
Ouyang Tian had never heard of medicine that could sustain a vessel on the verge of shattering.
It could be considered good news in its own right, but the most important matter remained.
“Do you intend to give it to me?”
Whether Shen Yi would truly make that medicine for him.
“No. I have no such intention.”
Shen Yi firmly expressed his refusal.
“At best, it will only extend the duration. For one who refuses to take other sound methods, I will do nothing.”
“…”
To Shen Yi’s voice filled with anger, Ouyang Tian merely watched him silently.
Shen Yi felt that gaze was strangely subtle.
“Shen Yi.”
In the suffocating atmosphere, Ouyang Tian asked.
“If it prolongs my life, how long can it extend it?”
That Ouyang Tian would ask only that even now gradually made Shen Yi feel his anger rise.
“No matter how well the medicine takes effect, you will not pass the age of forty. If your body does not respond well to the medicine, you might barely cross ten years.”
Hearing this, Ouyang Tian fell into deep thought as if calculating something.
Watching him, Shen Yi added.
“Should you intend to extend your life with medicine while waiting for a cure, abandon that thought. This medicine…”
“…At least ten years, you said.”
Shen Yi had tried to explain the risks.
But Ouyang Tian seemed to find it unimportant, and said to Shen Yi in a calm voice.
******************
“That is enough.”
“…”
A dry voice and toneless manner of speaking lingered in his ears.
When the sun was gradually setting.
In the plaza, a banquet celebrating the return of the Poison King was underway.
Shen Yi sat on the wooden floor of his quarters, pouring wine.
“And so…”
Shen Yi reviewed his conversation with Ouyang Tian, thinking about why he had continuously felt that sense of alienation.
Only after pondering for a long time did he realize.
No, perhaps he had known from the very beginning.
‘That child has not changed.’
It was not that his thorns had died down and his tension had heightened. He was merely hiding it.
He recalled when he had first seen Ouyang Tian.
The youth he met then had dead eyes, contrary to his fierce nature.
Those eyes that warriors who had taken their own lives due to the Makyeong incident possessed.
Ouyang Tian possessed exactly those eyes.
Recalling that, Shen Yi tipped wine into his mouth.
‘You…’
You have no attachment to life from the very beginning. That was how Ouyang Tian appeared to Shen Yi.
He should have realized it sooner.
His appearance of worrying over something even while discussing his own death.
There was no fear there.
Only the complexity of organizing the schedule laid out before him.
That his vessel was so unstable would surely be affected by psychological factors as well.
He likely often felt extreme pain or headaches normally.
To Shen Yi, Ouyang Tian had appeared calm even while going through such circumstances.
‘He is not calm. He is merely worn down.’
The spirit to waver from pain.
The terror to fear death.
None remained in that child anymore.
The moment he faced Ouyang Tian, who the Poison King had brought, Shen Yi had known immediately.
A martial artist might not know, but Shen Yi’s eyes were different.
Ouyang Tian was in a state where it would not be strange for him to die at any moment.
The reason he had asked for his wrist when he had merely intended to exchange light greetings was precisely that.
His insides were a mess.
Ouyang Tian’s qi was somehow achieving harmony, but it was close to being forced.
Forced harmony would eventually create shockwaves inside the body.
Even if forcibly held down, not much time remained.
Could that child truly be unaware of this?
It only left Shen Yi with questions.
“…”
Yet the way he had been somewhat pleased at the mention of delaying it by ten years was a truly frightening thing to Shen Yi.
It was not the appearance of one happy to be alive.
‘Just what…’
What had destroyed that child so thoroughly?
For one barely nearing the age of twenty, it was far too chilling a demeanor.
‘Just what are you planning to do?’
Shen Yi recalled Ouyang Tian leaving his seat at the end.
Whether having forgotten Shen Yi’s words that he would never give the medicine, Ouyang Tian left saying he would visit again next time.
Watching that back, Shen Yi felt as if a heavy rock had settled in his heart.
To see one without attachment to life was such a feeling to Shen Yi.
“Tsk, tsk.”
Even so, Shen Yi would not give the medicine as he had said.
Making the medicine was no easy task, and the ingredients were not easily obtained.
The medicine he currently possessed was only enough for Wei Xueya.
Of course, even if he had the ingredients, he could not give it to that child, but once this medicine was started, it could not be stopped.
Even if one tried to destroy the dantian later, survival would be impossible.
If not taken continuously after the first dose, it would eventually cause problems with one’s innate qi.
How could a physician give such medicine?
It had been a meeting he had somewhat looked forward to.
That it ended this way left a very unpleasant and grating feeling.
Just as Shen Yi was pouring drinks one by one—
Creak.
He felt someone entering as the door opened.
Feeling it, Shen Yi snorted.
“Hmph, you said you wouldn’t come for a while, yet you crawled here anyway?”
It was a rather ferocious remark, but the one who heard it merely chuckled briefly.
“He was harder to find than I thought. Seems he hides well.”
A weighty yet somewhat soft voice. An old man full of wrinkles that bore the passage of time, but his neatly spread shoulders and straight back revealed him to be a martial artist.
“Now, if the child dislikes it, you should think of moving past it. How can you be so forceful?”
Chuckle, chuckle.
At Shen Yi’s words, the old man continuously let out laughter.
“To call him a child, he is rather old.”
“What does age matter?”
“If your affection runs so deep, why do you not go to him? I cannot be the only family.”
“If I tried to visit, who knows what you people would do. How could I see those children?”
The old man gave no particular reply to Shen Yi’s words and approached the wooden floor.
Swoosh.
At the old man’s gesture, the wine bottle floated in the air and was quickly sucked into his hand.
Though the Empty Air Grasp was performed nonchalantly, Shen Yi showed no particular surprise.
“Drinking alone so wretchedly is unlike you. Did something happen?”
“Mind your own business. I was simply thirsty for wine today.”
“Hmm… I see.”
His interest seemed to end there, and the old man asked no more.
Thud, thud.
The old man’s martial robe billowed behind him as he slowly walked toward Shen Yi.
The characters Nangong (南宮) were clearly written on the martial robe.
“Ah, then did you see that child as well?”
“…”
At the old man’s words, Shen Yi’s shoulders trembled slightly.
“Xiao Yanluo… was it? I speak of the child called thus.”
“If you wish to see him, go. It seems a young lady from your household is with him as well.”
At Shen Yi’s words, the old man smirked and approached, sitting down beside him.
“It would be somewhat lacking to see him now… I shall see him later. I will see him eventually, so I may postpone the pleasure a little.”
“Your personality remains as eccentric as ever.”
“That is a rather awkward thing to hear from you.”
The old man who spat out the words with a laugh shook the wine bottle.
It was cheap wine not often drunk, but it was not bad to drink with the moon as a side dish.
Before long, the sun had set and the full moon had risen in the night sky.
One of the absolutes of the orthodox martial world, and the living history of the Nangong Clan.
The Conqueror of the South.
Tianzun Nangong Jietian gazed deeply at the moon and swallowed a mouthful of wine.