| Episode 147. 4th Competition: Final Announcement (3)
Crisis always arrives without warning.
It was the same during the rehearsal. The half-length stage that I had handled with ease during practice proved too much for me.
That was when the pain began to spiral out of control. If the Sparks had found out, they would have pulled me even right before the live broadcast, so I gave nothing away. But while I waited backstage until it was time to appear, my mind remained hazy.
It was only three minutes. What was there that I couldn’t endure?
And I really did it. I made no mistakes, caught sight of the slogans the fans must have brought to cheer for Spark, and completed even the final drawing perfectly.
I suppose that was the limit of what I could manage. Even though my mind understood that it was a broadcasting accident, my body wouldn’t move.
After that, my memory grew hazy. When I came to again, I was in the hospital.
My eyes opened just as the difficult part of the story was coming to an end.
“Um…”
“Iwol, you’re awake!”
The manager must have been sitting by the head of my bed, because he immediately stood up.
I caught my breath and asked first.
“Manager, has Idol Dynasty Annals ended yet?”
“Idol Dynasty Annals? They’re probably counting the votes.”
“Then can I watch the broadcast?”
This was the program I had run myself ragged for, even ending up in this state, determined to see it through to the end somehow.
He put on a stern expression and said no, but the manager knew how serious I was about Idol Dynasty Annals.
After asking a few more times, I was allowed to watch the live broadcast on the manager’s phone.
All the contestants had come up onstage, waiting for the rankings to be announced.
On the tiny screen, I could see the Sparks huddled together.
『The moment has come to put a period at the end of this long history. Right now, we will reveal the rankings that will be entered into the Annals of the Idol Dynasty!』
I could hear Yureu’s voice, but my gaze was fixed on only one place.
‘Did they manage the interview well?’
It had not been long since they had seen me come out of the operating room. That was why I was even more worried.
Would those mentally fragile fools be able to hold out until the end on the grand stage of a live broadcast?
Even if their rankings plummeted during the final vote after performing well throughout the program, would they be able to control their expressions well enough to avoid causing a controversy?
They all knew it in their heads. Parte was going to win.
In the past seasons of Idol Dynasty Annals, the number of online votes had followed the order of the groups’ years since debut exactly, and Parte had taken an overwhelming number of votes among them.
Anyone who had watched the show or even once set foot in a survival program must have been able to predict the result.
How could the contestants themselves not know? They must have even shared among themselves, discreetly, how much support their agencies were providing.
They would feel bitter. But they couldn’t show it.
When your turn came, you had to thank everyone, make sure to thank the fans first, and say that you would continue to work hard…
『In first place… Congratulations, Parte!』
With a booming sound, paper confetti scattered through the air. As Parte embraced one another, Yureu approached them carrying the trophy. After all, the flower of a competition program was the announcement of the final rankings—and first place.
『The winning group, Parte. Please say a few words about how you feel.』
Through the confetti filling the screen, I saw it.
Park Ju-u, who had been standing near Han Gaun, smiling brightly the moment the rankings were announced and lightly embracing Han Gaun.
And Jeong Seongbin, who gathered the members together and smiled with genuine happiness.
The five people on the screen smiled without giving anyone the slightest opening to nitpick and applauded Parte in congratulations.
I stared blankly at them.
What could they possibly be so happy about?
They must know, too. That they had performed well on every stage so far.
After pouring in that much effort, it was only natural to feel disappointed.
So why did they look so relieved?
The skin beneath my eyes felt hot. Just a little.
…If only I hadn’t rushed onto the first season of Idol Dynasty Annals in my desperation to win first place on a music show.
If only I had waited until our recognition had risen even a little higher, released a few more albums, and appeared on another program.
Then I could have given you the rankings you deserved.
I should have endured that little headache. I should have held out just a little longer onstage.
Then I could have at least patted you on the back and told you that you had worked hard all this time.
I no longer had the courage to keep watching the screen.
I covered my eyes with the arm that did not have a needle stuck in it. My eyelids felt heavily weighed down.
“I’m sorry…”
I muttered quietly. I meant it.
* * *
When I opened my eyes again, thankfully, I saw the familiar wooden ceiling.
I would like to express my gratitude to whoever had carried a man standing 183 centimeters tall back to the dorm. I could only hope that one of the healthy young talents overflowing in this dorm had risen to the occasion.
I checked the date on the phone lying beside my pillow.
It was the day after Idol Dynasty Annals had ended. I seemed to have slept just the right amount.
‘It doesn’t look like I have any particular schedules… Should I go back to sleep?’
The emotional exhaustion from yesterday had left me a little mentally drained. I needed rest.
But in communal living, privacy was a luxury.
No sooner had I closed my eyes again than someone opened the door and came in. Then he called to me in a very small voice.
“Hyung, are you asleep?”
“I’m not asleep.”
“Whoa, shit, you scared me.”
Lee Cheonghyeon recoiled in fright.
“Are you feeling any better?”
“Yeah. Sleeping helped a lot.”
“Really? You look a little better.”
Rarely, Lee Cheonghyeon did not argue with anything I said. He only examined my complexion.
“…About yesterday—”
“If you’re going to say you’re sorry you couldn’t do the ending with us, you don’t have to. I don’t want an apology from someone who was sick.”
“…”
“And don’t say it to the other members, either. You’ll give the hyungs wrinkles between their brows.”
That kid was quick to catch on.
Still, there was no malice in Lee Cheonghyeon’s words. He really was an overly gentle fool.
“Producer Yang said we should all have a meal together sometime.”
“Why?”
“To make up for missing the after-party. We didn’t go to the after-party.”
One of the members had been taken away, so they must have come straight here. It had probably been the others’ first after-party, too, so I felt bad… No. There was nothing good about learning to attend company dinners too early.
“If you’re up, come out and eat.”
“No, I’m going back to sleep. You guys eat.”
“Really? All right.”
For once, Lee Cheonghyeon backed off obediently.
Then he shouted toward the living room.
“Mom! Iwol-hyung says he’s going to sleep more!”
…Mom?
“Mom? Did someone come over?”
“Seongbin’s mother came. She made samgyetang because she said we needed nourishing food.”
“How could you only tell me that now!”
No wonder I had smelled boiled chicken somewhere.
How could I let the person who had gone through the trouble of watching the chaotic story of Jeong Seongbin’s and my idol activities say, ‘This hyung is sleeping instead of eating the food you prepared~!’?
I hurriedly changed into clean casual clothes. Then I ran out of the room, smoothing down my floating hair with my hand.
“Your mother is here?!”
“Iwol, you’re awake? You didn’t wake up because we were making too much noise, did you?”
“Of course not. Have you been well?”
“You’re the last person who should be worrying about others right now. Goodness, look how much weight you’ve lost already. Since you’re up, eat and then go back to sleep. All right?”
Before I could say anything more, his mother returned to the kitchen. I took advantage of the opportunity to quickly wash my face in the bathroom and came back out. At the dining table, the others had each claimed a stone pot.
When I sat down awkwardly, his mother promptly brought a steaming stone pot over and placed it in front of me.
“Does Iwol eat samgyetang? Seongbin told me you weren’t picky about food.”
“Of course I do. I love it!”
In truth, I didn’t particularly like it. If I had to be specific, I disliked the herbal boiled chicken we ate with the company employees in the valley. The seating was so uncomfortable that I couldn’t tell whether the chicken was going into my nose or my mouth.
‘But this…’
Two ginseng roots, and two whole chicken legs still attached.
It wasn’t something I had to awkwardly force down while worrying about other people’s eyes. This was food prepared wholly for me.
“Did all of you get ginseng, too?”
I asked while looking at the bowls that were missing ginseng. Lee Cheonghyeon answered.
“We each had one in ours. You’re a patient, so Mom gave you two, didn’t she?”
“That’s right. You need to eat a lot to get better quickly. Iwol, there’s sticky rice inside, too, you know? Eat it all. I put a little extra effort into it today.”
“Yes, thank you…!”
His mother left soon afterward. Even after I saw her off, saying she had somewhere to be, steam was still rising from the stone pot.
I slowly drank the broth, one spoonful at a time. I carefully stripped the meat from the bones and ate it, and I finished all the rice without leaving any behind. For the first time, I thought boiled chicken was delicious.
* * *
When I came out after washing up, Choi Jeho was in the living room for once.
The guy who usually spent his days in his room, wearing earphones and looking at his phone.
At a glance, it seemed that the only thing that had changed was the location—from his room to the living-room sofa—while he was doing the exact same thing, so I didn’t bother speaking to him.
When I left Choi Jeho behind and entered the room, Jeong Seongbin was standing awkwardly between the beds.
It was highly suspicious to see even Jeong Seongbin, who normally avoided entering other people’s rooms without permission, acting like this.
As I looked at him, silently asking what was going on, Lee Cheonghyeon, who seemed to have been talking with Jeong Seongbin from the top bunk, spoke in a creaky voice.
“Right. I said I was going to play a game with Gang Gyeon, didn’t I?”
Then he hurriedly climbed down from the bed and dashed out of the room. He was hopelessly bad at lying.
I heard the door close behind him. Jeong Seongbin’s gaze wandered somewhere along the floor. A long silence followed.
What could our leader want to tell me so badly that he had driven both his older and younger brothers out of the room?
I lightly ruffled my wet hair with a towel and asked,
“Should we sit down and talk?”