Episode 30

“Perhaps, among you…….”

“…….”

“Is there anyone who…… wants to quit?”

I gestured for them to raise their hands if there were, but the maids only fluttered slightly; none of them raised a hand.

I see, so no one wants to quit…….

Normally, they should want to leave my side badly enough to quit, yet not a single person raised a hand. I couldn’t tell whether I should be happy or sad about this.

Then it can’t be helped. Since I had already considered the possibility that no one would want to quit, I cleared my throat to present a proposal. However, someone cut in one step faster.

“If I may be so bold, my lady, why are you curious about that?”

It was Susan. Susan, who had been the only one not even slightly shaken by my words. A woman who seemed experienced in many ways, she appeared curious about my intentions.

But what was I supposed to say? I couldn’t tell them I had to cut one of them to avoid a penalty. In the end, I mumbled evasively.

“Ah, well, something came up and I absolutely have to fire one person, so I was wondering if there was anyone who wanted to…….”

At my words, the maids flustered greatly this time. All except Susan.

Among the maids, Lynn covered her mouth with both hands and asked.

“Why……. What is the reason, my lady? Does it absolutely, absolutely have to be one of us who gets fired?”

“Th-that’s…….”

“Does that mean we have to quit even if we don’t want to?”

This time, Laura asked. I couldn’t bring myself to answer because I understood how they felt all too well. But I had to say it.

“I know you’re all surprised by this sudden news, and I understand. In return, since the dismissal is sudden, I’ll make sure you receive severance pay and unemployment benefits…….”

……Yes, this was all I had come up with that morning. Stuffing the pockets of the person getting fired with plenty of money.

I had wondered what would make being fired less upsetting if I were in the maids’ position, and nothing came to mind except money.

The maids quieted down somewhat. Still, they wore utterly baffled expressions, as if they couldn’t comprehend this situation at all.

My heart weakened terribly at those expressions, and I opened my mouth to say something, then closed it.

The truth was, I didn’t want to fire anyone. These were the people I had spent the most time with ever since I possessed this body. Regardless of what they thought of me, I had selfishly grown attached to them.

‘Should I just fail the first mission and aim for the second and third? From what I saw last time, if I fail just one mission, it only hurts for twelve hours…….’

At the sudden thought, my eyes snapped wide open.

‘Why didn’t I think of that?’

That’s right, it’s not even a week, let alone a day—just twelve hours! Let’s just not do this mission!

‘But what if the second and third missions are all ridiculous too?’

Ugh, damn it, hell. If that happens, I’ll just hurt for a week! It’s not like I’ll die……!

The thought of a seppuku penalty suddenly crossed my mind, but I forcibly ignored it and tried to tear up the dismissal letter I was holding. Come on, kids? Let’s just drop it. Let’s pretend this never happened.

But before I could tear it, I heard a faint sigh.

It was an extremely faint sound, but I didn’t miss it and turned my head.

The one who had sighed was Susan. For some reason, Susan even erased the mechanical smile she had worn all this while and slightly hung her head.

S-she’s so annoyed by this situation that even Susan, who never stopped smiling, dropped her smile. Well…… When I had seen Susan’s application, I learned she had started working at this mansion ten years ago.

In other words, she was the one who had witnessed the worst of the young lady’s temperament the most over the past ten years. So she must be tired too. And it finally exploded today.

Thinking that way, I began to feel sorry for her too. Although she had violently bullied Hendel while I wasn’t around……. She had probably done that to match the original Rene Blaire as well.

Now that I will show her my changed self, she too will gradually change.

The moment I was about to tell Susan I was sorry for making such a sudden decision, that I would call it off so she need not worry too much, Susan spoke up first.

“This is truly a situation I cannot understand.”

“Huh? Ah, I’m sorry, Susan. I’ll just call it off, so…….”

“……Sorry?”

Susan asked back with an expression as if she had misheard. And then she laughed. No…….

She sneered.

At that sneer, I stiffened my body rigidly and blinked my eyes blankly. Susan continued.

“May I ask one thing, my lady.”

“…….”

“Do you know why I have not shown myself before you for the past month?”

“What……?”

“You probably don’t. Then, my lady, do you know that during the time I served you, you never once washed your face with warm water? You probably don’t know that either. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have asked for warm water this morning. Then do you know this? That you never once spoke His Grace’s name? That if I entered your room of my own accord in the morning, you would immediately throw a vase at me? That whether I scolded the maids or not, you had no interest…… You probably don’t know any of that.”

“…….”

“Because you are not my lady.”

Thud.

All I could hear in my ears, ringing with suffocating sharpness, was Susan’s lashing voice and the sound of my own rapidly beating heart.

Like a hedgehog trying to raise its spines to protect itself the moment it was attacked, I tried to step back and sought a quick countermeasure.

What should I answer? Should I say I actually have amnesia……? But then she’d ask why I’m only saying it now.

It felt like someone was shouting inside. That such a lie would never work on Susan.

“For the past month, while I stayed confined to my room per my lady’s orders……. I heard rumors. Rumors that my lady had changed beyond recognition. I assumed you were playing a new game, of course.”

At the word “game,” I recalled last night. Susan standing in the dark hallway with almost all the lights out, asking what kind of game this was.

“It’s true that when I saw my lady after a long time, you looked completely different, just as the rumors said. Almost like a completely new person. Even so, I didn’t think much of it. I merely thought you were playing yet another game…….”

Susan pressed her clasped hands to her cheeks and made a troubled expression.

“But my lady kept playing the game even when we were alone. So I grew suspicious. Is this person really the lady I knew?”

“…….”

“Hehe. Judging by your expression, it seems my suspicions are correct.”

I racked my brain quickly. If this were the original Rene Blaire, how would she have handled this situation?

The deliberation was brief. She would have raged at the maid who dared suspect her.

I pressed Susan urgently.

“You mean right now, instead of thinking I’ve changed over time, you’re saying such absurd things? That is unforgivably rude……!”

“No. If you were the lady I served, no matter how much you had changed, you would have cut my throat without hesitation for my impudent words and actions.”

“…….”

“Yes. Of course, even that may have changed. That one day, suddenly, as if you had become a different person entirely, you may have changed—however unlikely, it is naturally possible.”

Susan spoke mockingly and slowly took one step at a time toward me.

She was merely a person. A person without even a weapon in her hand. Someone shorter than me, someone who shouldn’t be threatening at all.

Yet that woman approaching me felt chillingly sinister. It was as if a red alert was blaring in my head, warning of danger.

Finally, Susan, now close, quietly intoned.

“However, fake my lady. There is a reason I am so certain that you are not my master.”

“…….”

“My master never called me by my name.”

“…….”

“In ten years, not even once.”

Susan laughed softly again. Between her curving eyes, her flashing pupils seemed to tighten around my throat little by little.

“So, tell me, miss. Who are you?”

“…….”

“Why are you inside that body without permission?”

At the question, asked with such casual certainty, I stopped breathing.

I couldn’t think at all. This situation felt beyond bewildering—it was frightening.

Who was I? Why was I inside that body without permission?

Why did I have to hear something like that? And why...

Why couldn’t I answer her so easily?

In that moment, I realized I had taken it far too lightly—that I had entered someone else’s body. I had only thought others would find my changed self strange and leave it at that; I had never imagined they might suspect I was someone else.

“You’re not answering.”

As I sank into my thoughts, Susan smiled as if she had expected as much.

“Or perhaps you’re using some kind of magic to impersonate my mistress? If that’s the case, where is my mistress?”

How would I know that? I died too, and when I opened my eyes, I was in this body without knowing why.

Susan, who could never know my circumstances even if I died, stared at me for a while before turning her head. The four other maids, who suddenly found themselves under Susan’s gaze, flinched as if they had been startled out of their skins.

“You’re a problem too. To think you didn’t even notice this fake pretending to be the young lady while I was gone. Can you really call yourselves maids who serve at the young lady’s side?”

“That’s not...”

“Then what? Did you know and keep silent? Surely it wasn’t because you thought some woman of unknown origin was better than the young lady.”

The four maids exchanged glances. None of them could speak easily. They seemed unable to understand how they were supposed to take this situation.

Or had they, too, been thinking that Rene Blair hadn’t changed, but was someone else entirely?

When I thought that, my chest grew strangely cold. Why did I feel this way? In truth, I really wasn’t Rene Blair. I was someone else.

My heart heavy, I lowered my head. It was then that Hendel’s sharp voice cut in.

“The problem isn’t us, but you, Head Maid. How dare you call the young lady a fake?”

Just as I was doubting my ears, unable to believe that Hendel of all people had bared her teeth, a sound split the air so sharply it made me jump.

Startled, I finally raised my head and saw Hendel fallen on the floor. Just like yesterday, she was clutching her cheek.

What?

Nearby, I saw Susan with her hand raised. In that instant, I understood everything that had happened.

“What are you doing!”

At my shout, Susan paused and lowered her hand.

“Please don’t mind it. I’m educating her because she’s being impertinent.”

“I told you yesterday not to hit anyone...!”

“Yes, you did.”

Susan smiled with an innocent look in her eyes. Then she politely clasped her hands together and tilted her head.

“But I only listen to my mistress.”

“What...?”

“By the way, I wonder what His Excellency is thinking. There’s no way he doesn’t know you’re not my mistress.”

Susan muttered, then laughed softly.

“Just in case, I should inform His Excellency myself.”

As if that was all she had to say, Susan turned and grabbed Hendel by the hair. I stared blankly at Susan’s back, then moved as if possessed and seized her wrist.

Susan turned to look at me calmly. Meeting those dry eyes, somehow like glass beads, I bit down hard on my lip.

Fine. I’m not Rene Blair. I have no idea why I ended up in Rene Blair’s body. I simply died, and when I opened my eyes, I was in this body.

I was a fool for not considering that someone like Susan might become suspicious. I had treated entering someone else’s body far too lightly.

I had thought that, just like in the novels I read every night, even if I entered someone else’s body, I could act however I wanted.

I thought that if I showed them a complete one-eighty change, everything would be easily solved. That everyone who had hated and feared Rene Blair would open their hearts...

But that wasn’t true.

Even so. Even so...

Even if I were sent back to the first day I entered this body, I have no intention of changing how I acted.

Even if I went back to the first day, I wouldn’t follow the mission. I would act kindly just the same, and I would show them that I had changed.

Call me stupid if you want. Call me selfish, someone who doesn’t consider the “real” Rene Blair at all.

All of a sudden, a certain scene came to mind.

It was like a dream. Beneath a pitch-black night sky studded thickly with stars, I had sat on some cliff and shared the bread in a basket with a child—that dreamlike moment.

What had that child said to me back then?

‘It’s all right to be certain.’

Yes. That was it. That child had said that to me.