3. Has Anyone Seen a Heart?(3)
‘I can return to the past just like that?’
It was strange. If it was going to grant my wish, couldn’t it have helped me during the last six years when I was struggling? There was no need to even compare the desperation; it was far greater back then.
Even though I was in the situation I had wanted, I couldn’t accept it with open arms. Usually, in cases like this, you had to pay a corresponding price.
Since there was no way to know who, for what reason, and with what intention had sent me back and even made this strange system window appear, anxiety took precedence.
‘Well… it is true that this was the time when dreams and hope overflowed the most.’
Still, the point of regression was the best it could possibly be. Because back then, I firmly believed I could succeed as an idol. If it were now, I would have told myself to stop dreaming and quickly look for another path.
“Ah!”
“Quit being dramatic.”
While I was lost in thought like that, a dull thud came from my arm, along with a sharp pain.
“Hyung, what are you doing? I called you so many times, but you didn’t answer…….”
Gaeul, who had been looking at Eunchan strangely, waved his hand in front of his eyes and spoke worriedly.
“What’s wrong with you today? Didn’t you sleep? Why are you spacing out like that. Are you still dizzy?”
“Huh? Ah, I’m fine.”
Honestly, I wasn’t exactly in a position to be worried over like this.
Eunchan quickly wiped the confusion from his face and forced a smile. It meant there was no need to worry. Rather, Gaeul was the one who had exerted himself. He was also the one who had taken me to the lounge when I collapsed earlier and looked after me until I woke up. Feeling sorry for making my younger brother worry, I tried to smile even more energetically.
“Then that’s a relief. Our turn is after next. The current performer is up now.”
Looking around with a sideways glance, Hyeonjuin’s monthly assessment was in full swing, just as Gaeul had said.
The dance trainer watching silently with an expressionless face, the vocal coach with a displeased expression, and even CEO Kim Gwangchun with his arms crossed and nodding his head.
Hyeonjuin finished his prepared solo stage and exited with a bow, and then the duo stage of Do Iseon and Seo Juhyeok began.
All of this was something I had already experienced, so it was familiar, yet it didn’t feel real.
‘…I need certainty.’
I was aware that I had returned to the past. But since it was such an unrealistic thing that could only happen in manhwa or dramas, I was still somewhat skeptical. I wished there was something I could be certain of.
Ah, that’s it.
“…Gaeul, try acting cute.”
“Ugh, what disgusting thing are you saying? How am I supposed to do something like that? It gives me goosebumps…….”
Gaeul twisted his expression and crossed his arms. As expected, this was the Gaeul of the past, who didn’t know the first thing about aegyo.
‘Even though he was an aegyo vending machine after debut.’
I remembered clearly how he got cursed at for overdoing it. Moreover, whether the concept suited him well, at first he hated acting cute so much, but as the years after debut piled up, he would show off his charms regardless of time or place, and I could vividly see it even now.
‘But why was his charm stat only two stars?’
Anyway, seeing Gaeul like this after a long time, he looked kind of cute in his own way.
“Wow, he’s smaller than me…….”
Come to think of it, even his height was slightly shorter than mine. He shot up during the first year after debut, so after that I had been looking up at him ever since.
It was definitely twenty-year-old Yeon Gaeul, who had just shed his high schooler vibe. Gaeul shot a look of contempt at Eunchan, who had unconsciously patted Gaeul’s head.
“…What’s with you?”
“Just because. My little brother’s cute, that’s all.”
‘Can’t I see those numbers again?’
Now that the reality of having gone back was actually sinking in, the hearts and numbers floating above heads bothered me.
Couldn’t I see them again? Earlier I had been out of it, so this time I wanted to examine them properly. Maybe I would even discover the reason for my regression.
I shouted inwardly, *‘Show me that again!’* a few times, but it didn’t appear again.
“Huh……?”
Suddenly, a chill ran down my spine, and strength drained from my body like I had the flu. They said our turn was coming up soon; I couldn’t collapse again. No matter what was going on, I had to pull myself together.
“What’s wrong?”
“…It’s nothing.”
Eunchan wiped the cold sweat from the back of his neck so Gaeul wouldn’t notice and licked his dry lips.
‘Does it not work if I try to force it when there are no remaining uses?’
Five times a day. If I tried to look more than that, side effects seemed to appear like this. That was why I had collapsed earlier too.
‘It’s a bit annoying… why did they give me such an ambiguous ability?’
I didn’t think there would be much use for it anyway. What could I even do by looking at other people’s favorability ratings? Besides, if it was negative, it would obviously just ruin my mood.
“Hyung, are you really okay? Tell me if it’s hard. I’ll ask if we can postpone our turn.”
“Of course not! I’m totally fine. Look.”
Eunchan flexed his arm muscles for no reason and held it out in front of Gaeul. Gaeul still sent a worried gaze but seemed to stop adding more words at Eunchan’s attitude.
“…Okay, then. Let’s finish quickly and rest.”
“Yeah, thanks for worrying.”
I twisted my body to properly face the mirror. Inside it, the young me was looking back, wearing a short-sleeved t-shirt rolled up to his shoulders and training pants. And even clean ears without a single piercing. It was the perfect ‘me’ of the past.
‘No matter how hard it is, I can’t miss this monthly evaluation now. There’s no next time.’
If I missed today’s evaluation, my debut would never happen.
“By the way, monthly evaluations always make me nervous. You and Juhyeok are already confirmed for the debut team, though. Honestly, ranking you two is just a matter of procedure.”
Gaeul muttered as if lamenting. Eunchan’s group, Chilwol Chilseok, had confirmed their debut team in May and had been practicing since then, so this was precisely the final evaluation before debut.
More precisely, it was also the period Eunchan had looked back on whenever things weren’t going well after debut. The day right before the debut team was perfectly set, a day when he felt he could do even better.
‘Could it be that God took pity on me because I lived too kindly all this time?’
Eunchan shook his head and brushed off the useless thoughts. He shouldn’t entertain idle thoughts. If he had really returned to the past, he couldn’t let this opportunity slip away.
For now, he had to properly show what he had prepared no matter what.
“Hyung, cheer for me. So we can debut together.”
“Huh? Yeah, of course we have to do it together.”
Gaeul seemed quite nervous; his clenched fist had turned pale white. He was showing signs of trembling all over, but his eyes were sparkling. Eunchan felt strangely nervous too, though he didn’t dislike the feeling.
More than anything, Gaeul’s appearance looked fresh and cute rather than pitiful. The trainee Yoo Eunchan would have been busy trembling himself, but now, being twenty-seven-year-old Yoo Eunchan, he felt somewhat relaxed.
“What we matched the day before yesterday was fine… but I guess I lack in dancing, so it might be hard.”
“Your vocals are unrivaled, Gaeul, so you’ll be fine.”
“What. You know how to say things like that?”
He had only stated the truth, but Gaeul smiled brightly as if he had received tremendous comfort. Anyway, things would turn out the way Gaeul wanted. Because we debuted together as Chilwol Chilseok.
“And we never make mistakes.”
Gaeul replied as if disgusted, “Wow, confidence,” but Eunchan didn’t particularly mind.
If things flowed according to the predetermined future, Gaeul would take the main vocalist position in the debut team with this opportunity, and we would take two of the top spots in this monthly evaluation.
“You prepared well, Juhyeok and Iseon. Next, Yoo Eunchan and Yeon Gaeul, please come out.”
♪♬♩-
“Eunchan, you should focus more on vocal practice, and Gaeul… you’ve improved a lot since last time.”
“Yes, Eunchan hyung helped me.”
“Yes, Eunchan is good. Alright. You may go.”
Not more, not less—he had done exactly the same as in the past, so he had no regrets.
“Thank you!”
It was fortunate that his body remembered the monthly evaluation stage from this time. Honestly, he had been a little worried he might mess up in the middle. His stamina was also that of his trainee days, so there was no strain in finishing the song.
Though his skills didn’t quite match his expectations, this was the level I was at back then. In the first place, if a trainee before debut and a six-year failed idol had similar skills, that would truly be sad. It would mean there had been no improvement at all.
‘My memories remain exactly as they were at twenty-seven, but my body is twenty-one.’
He felt like the protagonist of a time-leap movie or manhwa. But he wasn’t the type of character who would stride down a surefire path of success upon gaining such an opportunity.
Confidence that he could somehow do something collided with the negative thought that even so, what could he do.
‘But if this is real… couldn’t I change the future?’
Thinking that, he felt alive.
The squeaking sound of sneaker friction unique to the practice room sounded pleasant rather than grating. It had been a long time since he felt like this. The wooden floor he stepped on felt like marble.
“Hyung.”
“Huh?”
Feeling good, he wiped the sweat from his forehead and was about to leave the practice room when a familiar voice called out to him.
[ Hyeonjuin ]
Appearance ★★★★★
Vocal ★★★☆
Dance ★★★★
Charm ★★☆
Luck ★★★
What’s with this guy?
Hyeonjuin and I weren’t close enough to really talk during our trainee days, as far as I remembered.
His sudden appearance made all sorts of imaginations flash through my mind.
I didn’t come all this way for a sudden *‘Ta-da, it was all a dream!’* at the end, did I?
The anxiety growing in real time made his Adam’s apple bob without him realizing it.
“You were cool, hyung.”
…Did a memory like this exist? I felt like it might have.
“…Thanks?”
“Yes, fighting.”
Honestly, only negative feelings remained toward Hyeonjuin, so I couldn’t remember this moment clearly. Still, before he started causing trouble, our relationship didn’t seem that bad either. I had thought it would be awkward seeing Hyeonjuin again, but it was better than expected.
‘Could I check Hyeonjuin’s favorability too?’
There were no remaining uses today, but if I ran into him next time, I thought I should check at least once. It would let me gauge the state of our relationship.
Whether that was all he had to say, Hyeonjuin turned away coolly, and only he and the management team director beside him were captured in Eunchan’s sight.
‘It looks like he’s going straight to filming after the monthly assessment.’
Hyeonjuin of this period was in the middle of filming a drama, so he didn’t particularly have any lingering attachment to idol debut.
He was a company public trainee, but since he was a child actor by origin, he had joined the company as an actor to begin with.
Should I just let him do what he wanted this time? It seemed he had become a troublemaker ultimately because he didn’t want to be an idol.
‘It would be better to watch him for now.’
For now, it seemed better to view the situation with a more relaxed gaze than before. In the past, I had been so frantic about debuting that I had been out of my mind.
If things flowed according to the future I knew, I would debut without issue unless I caused a huge accident. Mortifying as it was, I was the CEO’s most cherished trainee at this time.
Then, what I should do now was…….
‘Finding a way for everyone to be happy, I suppose.’
Since I vaguely knew what would happen from now on, if I prepared in advance, I could create a better situation than before.
And if I were a bit more greedy,
‘This time, I really want to hold a standalone concert with the members!’
One of the items on my previous life’s bucket list. And a standalone concert that the former Chilwol Chilseok was never even given the opportunity for.
Since I had regressed anyway, I wanted to fulfill at least one proper wish as an idol. It had been so long since I had dreamed of a happy ending that it was a bit difficult to look at the future positively, but this time, I wanted to be a little greedy.