Chapter 1
I am eighty years old this year.
I’ve lived a long, long life without ever growing up, and without fear.
That’s how boys are. No matter how old they get, they never truly grow up!
Before, I lived stuffing down anything said to be good for the body, dreaming of immortality and eternal youth. But now, it all feels utterly pointless.
They say those Daoist bastards sometimes ascend and become immortals, but there was no way something like that would happen to me.
Was it fifteen years ago?
There were some Wudang priests who called me vile.
Why?
It’s not as if I engaged in human trafficking or robbed people.
Nor had I ever saved some bastard who did bad things. Naturally.
Thieves, mountain bandits, river bandits.
Unless they weren’t caught, why would I save some moron who got caught because he was too stupid? Breaking them out of prison? Utter nonsense.
And yet.
They cursed me collectively simply because I was the leader of the unorthodox factions.
I couldn’t stand it, so I got a little angry, and then a war broke out under the grand name of the Orthodox-Unorthodox War or whatever.
True to its imposing name, a massive battle took place, but I wasn’t there.
Why? Because Wudang had been the target from the beginning.
While the other bastards fought among themselves, I went to Wudang, burned down its three palaces, and tore off the heads of its sect master and all its elders.
I had even shown them mercy and merely demanded that they hand over the one who had insulted me, but they pointed their swords at me first.
Then they cursed me again, calling me despicable, vile, and petty. Aren’t they a bunch of laughable fools?
In any case, a truce was reached, but because of that, Wudang, once the holy ground of Daoism for a thousand years, lost strength and was said to have been pushed down to the bottom of the Nine Sects.
It has nothing to do with me.
They say you reap what you sow.
Of course, my natural disposition never suited those priestly bastards either. A hypocritical bunch who spouted nothing but polished words on the surface…
Just thinking about them makes me break out in hives, let alone associating with them.
Hoo. In any case, thanks to my mind growing clearer as time passes, memories of the past are coming back vividly.
Is this what they call the returning radiance before death?
With great difficulty, I turned my head and looked one last time at the subordinates who had shared my entire life.
My disciple, the elders… Reliable fellows who had built the Sapaecheon of today together with me.
But Cheon Umyeong was nowhere to be seen.
He was a little lacking in several ways, but he was the most loyal of them all.
Come to think of it, had he still not returned after setting off to find the Elixir of Immortality for me?
Something that doesn’t even exist…
He should have just come back.
Knowing his personality, he was surely digging up weeds somewhere along a mountainside by now. Despite not knowing a thing about medicinal herbs.
It would be nice to see his face at least once before I died.
In any case, my breathing kept growing more labored. It seemed the time had come for me to return to the heavens.
How difficult had it been to reach this position?
Of all the fellows who had started out alongside me back then, none had done as well as I had.
The master of the Sapaecheon, which divided the current martial world into three powers alongside the Ilwol Demon Cult and the Jeongmu Alliance.
Hyeollyeon Mugang, Lord of the Sapaecheon.
That was my name.
Betraying the capable, trampling the inept, and stabbing those who had helped me in the back…
Through repeated betrayal and treachery, I rose steadily until I became the supreme ruler of the unorthodox factions.
People pointed fingers at me and called me despicable, but what would those ignorant fools know? Thanks to it, I overcame the fierce storms of the world and was able to reign as king over the unorthodox factions for nearly forty years.
I could embrace any woman I wanted whenever I wished, and my treasury overflowed with gold and silver.
I was the strongest man in power, capable of erasing an ordinary sect with a mere wave of my hand.
But human life is in the hands of Heaven…
How could a human being defy the will of Heaven?
When it is time to go, one must go.
I don’t have many regrets anymore… Though, to be honest, it is a little disappointing.
If I had known I would go like this, I would have spent all the money piled up in the treasury.
I should have dealt with the few Orthodox bastards who dared put blades into my body before I left.
And I hadn’t even enjoyed a passionate night with Hwayang, my newest concubine!
Haa…
I could feel my sighs turning into labored breaths and escaping my lips.
I heard the voices of my reliable subordinates whispering toward me with sorrowful faces.
My loyal…
“Fuck, why isn’t he dead yet?”
Loyalty…
“Looks like stuffing himself with everything said to be good for the body made his life particularly hard to cut short.”
“You bastard. What a tenacious bastard.”
These bastards?
“When I think about how much we suffered because of that evil man with the mental age of a child, it brings tears to my eyes.”
Some of them even shed tears, saying that at least it was fortunate he was finally dying, as if the cursing weren’t enough.
“Don’t worry. I’ll do my best.”
That was my sole disciple, who was nearing sixty this year.
I raised that thing as my disciple, doing everything I could for him. What in the world had I been thinking?
“The Young Lord has truly suffered so much.”
“Indeed.”
“Still, how fortunate is this? I even set out pure water every day and prayed that the stupid Commander Cheon Umyeong wouldn’t actually return with the Elixir of Immortality.”
“Exactly. The thought of having to watch such a vicious and lawless bastard live longer without even growing old gives me the chills. Ugh.”
They seemed to think they were whispering, but I could hear every word.
“Now let’s do our best together.”
Everyone seemed to be uniting around my disciple.
Why not just strangle me and finish me off already!
So this was how the people who cursed me and pointed their fingers at me had felt. These despicable, vile bastards.
Well, they had been this kind of people from the beginning. I had lived the same way…
Far away, a figure in black clothes shimmered like an apparition.
That had to be the underworld’s grim reaper, come to escort me. His complexion was exceedingly pale, as if he had powdered his face.
Haa, yes. Let’s go.
What more could I possibly live for?
The things of the living world blurred, while the grim reaper’s figure grew clearer and clearer.
Hyeollyeon Mugang…
A deep, low voice pierced coldly into my ear.
The first call.
Wasn’t it said that once he called three times, my connection to this world would be severed completely?
There truly wasn’t much time left. I shouldn’t make a pathetic fuss. I should just close my eyes…
“Looord~! My looord~!”
Suddenly, accompanied by a booming voice, a welcome figure dashed into the bedchamber, his magnificent beard streaming behind him like that of the Beautiful-Bearded Duke.
Cheon Umyeong, Commander of the Iron Sword Corps.
It was just like him to return only when I was about to die, despite having gone to find the Elixir of Immortality.
Yes, at least you’re here.
At least I would be able to see the face of the one man who possessed even a trace of loyalty toward me before I left…
“It’s the Elixir of Immortality! I finally found the Elixir of Immortality! Hurry and take it, my lord!”
At his words, the faces of everyone gathered twisted violently.
Wait a minute… What?
What the fuck are you talking about at a time like this!
The Elixir of Immortality? Something like that actually existed? What, am I going to live?
Suddenly, the will to live surged explosively within me!
“Hurry, hurry and take it!”
Before anyone could stop him, Cheon Umyeong shoved the medicinal herb, still covered in dirt, into my mouth.
That’s it! Good!
Hurry up, you ignorant bastard… Fuck, at least brush off the dirt first.
“My lord, why aren’t you chewing! Chew it. You have to chew it!”
Hyeollyeon Mugang…
Goddammit, someone stop that bastard from the underworld and shut his mouth!
But I couldn’t move my body, much less speak.
“Damn it!”
With an irritated cry, Cheon Umyeong pulled out the Elixir of Immortality he had forcibly stuffed into my mouth and clenched it in his fist.
W-Wait, don’t tell me…
Worries always become reality.
Squeeze.
Is it salty?
With hands that hadn’t even been washed?
“I’ll feed it to you, my lord!”
“Damn it! Stop him! Stop Commander Cheon! Hurry!”
My disciple and the elders rushed forward madly and grabbed Cheon Umyeong.
You bastards! Let go! Leave him alone! I said leave him alone! Are you really that upset that I might live a little longer?
Hyeollyeon…
As if laughing at this chaotic scene, the third call began.
Ah, wait!
I haven’t eaten it all yet! I said I haven’t eaten it all!
Mu…
Fuck, if things have come to this, then it’s all or nothing.
I gathered all my strength into my mouth.
Fortunately, my tongue could still move.
Forgetting all pride, I mustered every bit of strength I had left and sucked desperately on Cheon Umyeong’s hand.
Gulp.
With my tongue licking frantically, the Elixir of Immortality, mashed into a complete mess, slid down toward my throat.
But only a single syllable remained before the grim reaper finished calling my name three times. I could clearly feel the soul tethered to my flesh being pulled taut, on the verge of snapping.
Ah, damn it, that useless bastard. If only he’d come a little sooner. I could have lived. I could have achieved immortality and eternal youth—the one thing that difficult, I could have done it.
Gang…
It was truly over now. There was no turning back.
My money… My Hwayang… My passionate nights…
But then.
The energy of the Elixir of Immortality began spreading through my entire body in an instant.
The will I had desperately wrung out in order to live somehow mingled with the elixir’s medicinal effects and stubbornly clung to the soul-thread that was about to snap.
When the thread failed to break even after he had called three times, the grim reaper’s expression changed to one of bewilderment.
Was it merely his expression that changed? As if trying to tear it away by force, he seized my soul, which had already half-exited my body, and pulled with all his might.
Hey, ah! My hair! Argh! It hurts, it hurts, you bastard!
Pop!
He let go.
My scalp hurt like hell, perhaps because a whole clump of hair had been ripped out, but…
Heheheh. He let go in the end.
The grim reaper stared at me as I returned to my body, his face twisted like an evil spirit.
I lived. I won.
The Elixir of Immortality really must have been real.
Cheon Umyeong, you wonderful bastard…
You’re the one who saved me.
Once I recovered, I’d have to throw you a huge feast.
But the bastard from the underworld showed no sign of leaving.
After glaring at me for a long while, he approached, placed a hand on my body, and recited something like an incantation. He was clearly still trying to extract my soul somehow.
Heh heh, try all you want, you bastard! It’s the Elixir of Immortality! The Elixir of Immortality!
I ate what even Qin Shi Huang died without ever tasting!
I quietly extended my right hand, fist clenched, and offered my wrist to the grim reaper.
But the bastard merely gave me a meaningful grin.
Huh? A grin?
You pathetic fool. Let’s see who wins.
There was only one answer in a situation like this.
Endure.
Heh heh, when it came to patience, there was no one in the martial world like me.
I’d shut my eyes tight until the bastard went away!
I would never move!
I am Hyeollyeon Mugang, Lord of the Sapaecheon!