Episode 7
The carriage carrying the Count and Countess could be seen entering through the mansion’s main gate even from inside the dining room. They had arrived a full thirty minutes later than the time the butler had been told.
Helen did not think it was because of the snow that had piled up considerably since she had arrived that morning. Was there anyone who had not prepared for the snow that would fall endlessly for some time now that the entire Empire was in winter’s grip? So Helen, too, upon receiving the letter the Count had sent a week prior, had written down her departure date and expected arrival date and sent it back via the fastest horse.
*If he truly wanted to see my face, he shouldn’t have been late today!*
So it was better to believe the Count was late due to business.
The footsteps of the Count and Countess, guided by the butler, drew near, and soon the two silhouettes entered here, into the dining room.
The Count turned his gaze upon entering the dining room. A woman with red hair came into view. It was Helen, her thick curls tied up high.
“So you’ve come.”
“Yes, Father.”
Helen forced a smile onto her lips and turned her head. She saw the Count, his face from her memory now lined with wrinkles, and his wife, whom she was seeing for the first time. It was a truly unfamiliar sight.
That was all the greeting exchanged between father and daughter after so long. Neither had anything more to add, nor any more emotion to offer. As if to prove that every word written in the letter had been a lie, the Count did not once look at Helen during the meal.
She had known it would be so. Why would he call back the daughter he had thrown away with his own hands? She concluded without needing to ask that it was to seize his own benefit.
Having concluded as much, she was newly curious as to what benefit could be gained by using his daughter.
As soon as the Count and Countess took their seats, as if it had been waiting, an appetizer of salad topped with thinly sliced strawberries was brought out. The moment Helen tried to spear a strawberry with her fork, Rosie opened her mouth.
“Father, I’m planning to go out with my sister soon! I prepared a dress for her in advance, but it might not suit her taste.”
“Did Helen ask you to say that?”
“My dear. Is our daughter a child who repeats what others tell her? She’s simply kind. Yes, I think that would be good as well. But go only when the snow lets up.”
“Yes, I’ll go once the weather clears, as Mother says.”
Rosie showed the Countess a bright smile, as if responding to the heart of parents who worried for their child.
They were an unmistakably harmonious family. At least from the few words exchanged in the dining room, which felt like a darkened corner, Helen felt exactly that. The Count, who after seeing for the first time in ages the daughter he had cast out at seven offered not a single greeting to ask if she had been well. The Countess, who did not once cast a cold glance, as if to reveal that Helen was not a child she had carried for ten months and brought into the world. And Rosie, the true young lady of the Platini family, who plainly showed she had grown up receiving abundant love between them. If only the half-baked noble young lady and the mage were to disappear from this place, anyone would see them as a perfect family.
Helen could not bring the strawberry she had pierced with her fork to her lips and crushed it against the plate instead. The salad the chef had made with care would surely be refreshingly tangy in her mouth, yet just looking at it made her stomach turn. Knowing the reason yet having no way to avoid it, she merely prodded the salad with her fork and pretended to eat.
When the salad served on each plate according to their portions was nearly gone, the main course was prepared. Having not reduced the strawberry count by even one, Helen exchanged her salad plate for the steak and cut it into manageable pieces with her knife. It had certainly looked tender, yet once in her mouth, it was tough. The others were eating it without a change in expression.
Could the meat on their plates be different? It was not something she wished to delve into too deeply. She knew the Count would not now regard the daughter he had long abandoned as a precious child.
Helen set down her knife and ate the grilled tomato. The cold tomato, at least while she had waited for the Count, had tasted as she expected.
The Count set down his utensils and moistened his mouth with water.
“It is time you married.”
That was directed at Helen. The Count placed both elbows on the table and clasped his hands.
“Marriage, you say?”
“As a member of the Platini family, should you not do at least one thing for the family?”
Helen lowered her head. To think the reason he had called back the daughter he cast out with his own hands was merely this. He had lured her back on her own feet with lies of wanting to see her, intending to send her away on her own feet again.
She pitied herself for having been momentarily happy upon receiving the letter from the man called Father, not knowing any of this. Even while knowing there was some other scheme, in one corner of her heart she had thought he would sincerely miss the daughter he had not seen for so long. That in the sentence asking if she had been well, in the handwriting saying he awaited the day he would see her face, there would be at least a speck of a father’s sincerity in wanting to see his daughter.
Looking back, she had wanted that to be true. Because she had missed and needed the embrace of family that much.
“Helen. I do not keep useless things by my side.”
Not anymore. She had learned the truth that a family does not seek out a discarded daughter with a family’s heart. Having learned that truth painfully, she felt newly miserable.
*Useless things.*
Helen chewed over the words the Count had just spoken. It was a kind of threat that no matter how much one was family or a member of the household, if one was useless, they would be mercilessly discarded.
“Still, I should at least know who the other party is before I marry.”
“Tomorrow evening there is a party at the imperial palace. A gathering to celebrate Duke Everett’s successful expedition. Attend it.”
More than the Count’s unkind words, the mention of Carlisle Everett she heard from him made everything within Helen stop.
“If you ever come to the capital next time, please visit the House of Everett. I wish to repay him for lodging me and my knights for a night.”
That was what Carlisle, whom she had faced that moonlit night, had said. A corner of Helen’s heart, which could not forget and could never forget those words, ached.
If she attended the party to be held tomorrow evening following the Count’s orders, she would certainly meet Carlisle. And that as a man who loved another woman, not her.
Helen recalled Carlisle’s handkerchief. If she had made any effort to forget Violet, she should not have kept the handkerchief she had given him. Yet she had even said it was precious and asked him to return it.
She had thought she would never see him again, but in the end she would see him tomorrow and hurt again. Because of him, who could not even forget Violet’s death.
Helen had no choice. Once the Count set his mind to it, by whatever means he would make her go to the imperial palace on her own feet tomorrow evening.
“I will.”
So she had to go to the imperial palace and attend the party. She just had to attend first and then run away.
While Helen composed her troubled heart and schemed to escape from the imperial palace tomorrow evening, the Count observed her.
“You have grown a great deal.”
“Time has passed, after all.”
You have changed as well. The corners of his eyes, which had been turned toward his daughter with a cold gaze that night, were now deeply wrinkled, and white hairs now stood prominent in the dark blond hair that served as the symbol of the Platini family.
“Did you not miss me?”
“……”
It was not a question thrown out hoping for an answer. She had not even expected such a thing. Helen turned her gaze to the side and saw Rosie Platini, who bore an exact resemblance to the Count. Unlike someone, this young lady of the house had grown up beautifully in a warm place, receiving the warm warmth of warm people.
“Well. Father has other children besides me. He would not have had time to miss a discarded child.”
“Helen.”
Helen cut off the Count’s call and added:
“Father. As one born into the Platini family, I will do one thing for the family. However, do not expect more than that.”
“……”
“I’m sorry, but I will excuse myself first.”
A chill settled over the dining room. Helen’s heart cooled as coldly as the words exchanged between father and daughter.
The Count did not say a single word to Helen, who rose abruptly without emptying her plate. He merely silently watched the back of the daughter who resembled his dead wife.
She had not yet even reached the stairs when her legs trembled. Moreover, her head throbbed as if it would split. Helen pressed her hand to her forehead and leaned her back against the wall.
She hated everything now. Everything was futile, and she did not even know the reason for living this life. Did she have to continue living a life without reason? Feeling life’s misfortune fully, she moved her feet again.
What stopped Helen’s footsteps was Rosie.
“Sister!”
“……”
“I’m sorry. I apologize.”
“You haven’t done anything wrong, so why are you apologizing?”
If she were truly sorry, rather than an empty apology of mere words, Helen wished she would just go away. She did not even wish to be treated as an older sister, so it would be better if she did not call her sister.
When Helen resolved not to turn around, Rosie, not knowing her heart, made a sullen expression.
“Still…… Father’s words weren’t sincere.”
Rosie did not know that her thoughtlessly uttered words would provoke Helen. Helen, who had just vowed not to turn around, ended up trampling her own resolve.
“Sincere? How do you know if Father’s words are sincere or false? Ah, is this a family trembling with love for one another?”
This young lady who looked exactly like the Count truly seemed not to know. That each word she spat out with a face that clearly showed she had grown up in comfort was pushing an already unhappy person to the very depths.
Of course Helen knew well that it was not Rosie’s fault. The fault lay with the one who had not been chosen by the man called Father and was ultimately discarded. Yet there was no way not to hate this child who had committed no fault.
“Sister……”
“I don’t want to hear more. Please, at least for today, leave me alone. If you’re worried I’ll die before the wedding, you may put someone to watch me.”
She still had no intention of dying. Before, or rather before she had come to inhabit Violet’s body, there had been a time when, exhausted by miserable days, she had considered making a terrible choice. When she became Violet, she had thought it a blessing that she hadn’t made that bad choice then, but thinking about it now, it did not seem so fortunate after all.
“But……”
“I said I don’t want to hear it! Don’t pretend to worry about me when you don’t know how it feels to be abandoned by family.”
She lost her temper. Even knowing that Rosie Platini before her had committed not a single wrong, she ended up shouting. Rosie’s green eyes shook violently. She soon looked as if she would shed tears at any moment.
Helen covered her face with both hands. She did not want to see the tears of the person who considered her a sister, and moreover wanted to hide herself, who had made her cry.
Fortunately, before Helen turned around, Rosie turned away first. Then she silently moved off.
Helen quietly peered through her fingers and prayed. That Rosie would go into the dining room just as she was and report to the Count what had just happened. And that the enraged Count would cast out his daughter once more. That this time, he would not call for her until one of their lives ended.
Helen slowly closed her eyes. The desire to cry was the same as Rosie’s. No, she wanted to cry more desperately than her.
When such desperate feelings arose, Liandre followed in late and wrapped his arms around Helen.
“Helen Platini, you were a terrible person. How could you leave me in that dark place and go out first?”
I feel betrayed. I won’t forget what happened today. Just you wait, I’ll show you how I get my revenge. Liandre chattered noisily. But Helen knew all his words were meant to comfort her.
Though she was not comforted as he intended, she at least had the strength to calm down and sort out her tangled thoughts. For example, if she went to the imperial palace, she would meet Carlisle. He would not recognize her, but she would recognize him, over and over. And she would stay up nights for several days, hurting. Though she knew this with her head, the reason she could not tell Liandre to leave right now for a place where no one could find them was because she wanted to see that person again even while enduring the pain.
“Liandre, let’s leave. Let’s go together tomorrow evening. Let’s attend the palace first and then run away, never to return.”
Even if the Count sent another letter, she would not respond. If he used force to drag her away, then perhaps she would have to make a truly wrong choice.
When Helen laughed self-deprecatingly, Liandre separated her from his embrace. Helen had not shed tears, but her reddened eye rims were distinct.
“Really? But think carefully. You still love Carlisle Everett. If not, why insist on going to the palace?”
“……”
How did he know? That just as he could not forget Violet, she too could not forget him. Ah, perhaps it would be stranger not to know.
“You love him, miss him, and hurt because of him. Can you really leave him forever?”
As his words said, she did not have the confidence to leave Carlisle Everett forever while loving him, missing him, and hurting because of him. Helen had never once thought of leaving Carlisle Everett entirely, so she could not answer readily.
“Liandre.”
“I asked if you can leave.”
“I……”
Could she really leave as he said? You, who had been everything during that season that bloomed like a fleeting flower. It seemed impossible after all. She could not let go of all the past times of walking down the road holding your hand, kissing you, and smiling bashfully when your eyes met. She was already tied to the times she had lived as that woman, and it was too late to escape.
The memories she had held as another person faded away when Liandre read Helen’s heart.
“There, see? You have no confidence.”