Episode 42
‘A marriage proposal, you say?’
She felt as though she were sinking deep beneath the water's surface. Never had she imagined another woman—not Violet—standing beside Carlisle. Of course, she had often pictured a young lady with red hair taking Violet's place, but when she thought about it, weren't Violet and herself the same person?
Indeed. Carlisle couldn't live alone forever. Moreover, as the head of House Everett, he had to accomplish what was expected of him. For instance, bearing a child who resembled him and raising the heir to carry on House Everett.
The child would surely be lovely, taking after Carlisle. She hoped for the same black hair, but not the blue eyes. No matter what color they were, the child would be adorable, yet Carlisle might suffer each time he looked at the child and was reminded of Violet.
If it had to be so, she would rather the child had deep green eyes… What in the world are you thinking, Helen Platini!
Helen clutched her clothes with the urge to slap her own cheeks. That wasn't enough; she squeezed her eyes shut and counted to three in her mind. Only then did the impure thoughts slink away.
"It must be time to welcome a new Duchess."
"He doesn't deign to look at any young lady, so such a thing will not happen. It's only natural, as he cannot forget the Imperial Princess. And yet, the marriage proposals never cease. Of course, to the nobility, the feelings of a man who lost his wife are of little importance."
After that, he seemed to curse them as damnable people scrambling only to line their own pockets, but strangely, the words failed to settle in her ears. Only the part about being unable to forget the Imperial Princess buzzed and repeated in her mind.
When Helen loosened her grip, a crumpled section of her dress was revealed.
"He still cannot forget her?"
"Spring has barely ended, but until then, whenever I passed by Everett Ducal Residence, the scent of flowers pricked my nose."
"The scent of flowers in spring is only natural. What does that have to do with being unable to forget the Imperial Princess?"
"You must not know the affairs of the capital, my lady. The scent of the flowers she loved during her lifetime was unmistakable."
She hadn't understood at all until just now, but she did now. The reason Everett Ducal Residence had been filled with the scent of flowers that spring, and the fact that Carlisle could not forget the Imperial Princess.
"Violets."
"Exactly! She loved them because they shared the Imperial Princess's name… but how did you know?"
Edwin's gaze turned sharp. Hadn't he thrown piercing questions at her when they met at Violet's memorial last time? She had escaped safely by using the Emperor as an excuse then, but this time she couldn't even use that.
Helen quickly racked her brain, trying to evade the situation.
"As you said, sir, I somehow felt she would like them because they shared the Imperial Princess's name. It seems I guessed right."
She laughed awkwardly and turned her head slightly. If he saw her trembling eyes, he would surely detect that these were hastily fabricated words. In truth, it wasn't much of a lie. The reason she had preferred the small, common violet flowers over the rare blooms of the imperial palace was purely because they shared her name. But why did she feel so uneasy inside?
Worried that she might be found out as Violet by Edwin as well, after Lucas, she gathered her parasol and tried to stand. She hadn't brought anything in particular, so she only needed to leave her seat. That should have been the end of it, but an embarrassing question stopped her in her tracks.
"Do you also love the Duke, my lady?"
"Love? No! How could someone like me be in love with him?"
So flustered was she that she dropped her parasol. She needed to bend down, but her hands were too busy flailing about to pick it up. Her face even burned so hot that she had to fan herself with her hand.
Showing such obvious fluster, this time her lie would surely be exposed, but there was nothing she could do. After all, she truly loved Carlisle. Unable to forget a single thing about him, still loving him—it was an all-too-transparent lie.
Helen cooled the heat in her cheeks with the back of her cold hand. It was fortunate that a cool breeze blew, as it was near summer's end. Her bewildered heart gradually settled. She bent her upper body while seated and picked up the parasol that had fallen to the ground.
She dusted off the parasol with her hand, wondering if dust had gotten on it, and when she turned her head, Edwin wore a somewhat displeased expression.
"You are a warm person, my lady. Anyone who sees you would surely know that you are an exceedingly kind soul."
He seemed bothered by her self-deprecating words. But since she could not become Violet, she wouldn't even receive a glance from Carlisle, so it wasn't entirely wrong.
Helen smiled brightly at Edwin, who did not know the truth all this time.
"Thank you. Even if it's empty flattery, it's nice to hear."
She had merely smiled, yet Edwin turned his head sharply. She wondered what she had said wrong this time, but she saw his earlobes turning red.
"Please don't look at me like that. Even if you are a warm and kind person, if you smile like that, one cannot help but fall helplessly."
"Ah, I'm sorry. I didn't know my smile could cause such harm."
It was now a distant memory from long ago, yet the Knight Commander, who had grown up in the blink of an eye, still couldn't forget the young lady who had saved him in his youth and harbored affection for her alone. If he hadn't already fallen helplessly, he wouldn't avert his gaze like this.
Edwin cleared his throat and calmed his heart.
"You said you would leave far away and never return."
"I've postponed the date. Leaving remains unchanged."
Now, there were less than five months until midwinter. This summer, too, was ending; once various colors dyed those verdant leaves and they fell, winter would come. The arrival of the white season was only natural, yet this winter was strangely awaited. She hoped it would come quickly, yet wished it would arrive later than last winter.
"Could you not remain by my side?"
"Sir Vance has his comrades. And a country to protect alongside them."
Unlike him, the incomplete young lady had no precious ones, nothing to protect. If there were someone who would crumble at the disappearance of one worthless young lady, perhaps a sliver of reason to stay might arise. For now, it was impossible to know.
Silence flowed between them, and only after a long while did a voice sound, trembling as if his heart were being torn apart.
"Why am I…!"
Edwin couldn't continue, his throat choked, and pressed his lips tightly together. He covered his face with his large hands, calloused all over. Heavy breaths escaped between his fingers.
The atmosphere turned so cold it made a mockery of summer, broken by a knight calling from the top of the stairs.
"Commander!"
"What is it?"
The knight, who seemed to have run over in haste, caught his slightly ragged breath. Meanwhile, seeing his superior and the familiar young lady of Hexilov seated beside him, he flinched in spite of himself and bowed his head. It was not because of the red-haired young lady, but because it was the first time he had seen the Commander naturally in the company of a woman.
After inquiring around to locate the Commander who had left his post, the advice of his fellow knights followed him. It had been a warning to read the room, but who knew this was what it meant.
The knight raised his head slightly and soon met Edwin's murderous gaze. His instincts told him to deliver only the main point and flee.
"The month-end review meeting preparations are complete; I have come to report."
"Has the time already come?"
The last day of July. Moreover, ten o'clock in the morning. It was time to begin the meeting reviewing this month's training and matters related to the northern forest. He had thought to spend time alone with Helen for the first time in a while, but an unavoidable variable had arisen.
Once Edwin expressed his intention to go down, the knight gave a slight salute and disappeared quickly, as if fleeing.
Why did it have to be the last day of the month? Couldn't the review meeting have been held at the beginning instead of the end? Training had been perfect thus far, and there had been no unusual signs in the northern forest during patrols. If it weren't for the month-end report to send to the imperial palace, he would have kicked aside such a meeting.
"Shall I not go?"
He had to go, but he whined needlessly. He wondered if she would ask him not to go and stay by her side—if she did, he felt like he might just take her small, white hand and run away.
"A knight of the imperial family must remain faithful to his sworn duty."
But the young lady who had saved him in his youth still drew a line in the proper place with the right words.
A knight of the imperial family's duty. Comrades and a country to protect? Unlike them, what he wished to protect was not the Empire, but the place where she was.
"I still have words left to say."
"You look at me as though I might leave this very day. Don't worry. This evening, tomorrow morning, and a week from now—we can talk like this every day."
"They are words for when it is just you and me, my lady."
In the manor, a damned wizard interfered, so that place was unsuitable. It was no different here. Even now, the knights continued their training, looking up cautiously.
"I see. I should be going soon, too."
Helen opened her parasol, shading the sun which was slowly climbing to its zenith. There were no clouds today, so the sunlight felt unusually strong. Seeing how the days had grown especially clear lately, it must be time for the last rainy season. In Hexilov, the rainy season was merely a few days of rain enough to make one's shoes soggy. This place was fearsome only in winter; in summer, it wasn't a bad resort.
The thought suddenly occurred to her to make a small garden and prepare a resort business for next year. A short, hollow laugh followed. To be thinking of next summer when the young lady of Hexilov would disappear with this coming winter. She was sick of wallowing in lingering attachment now.