Chapter 22
After escaping from the Everett Mansion, Helen had walked blindly toward the Platini Mansion, and when she came to her senses, she was beside the fountain in the center of the square from earlier.
“Why……”
It was the place she had arrived at while wandering aimlessly before being found by Carlisle. Helen had tried not to think of Carlisle, but having come back to the place where he had saved her, she felt nothing but loathing.
“Of all people, it had to be you.”
No one could have appeared, or it could have been someone else. Yet it had been Carlisle there at that very moment.
Rather than blaming Carlisle for passing by that place, Helen blamed herself for being there. Within the vast capital, there were many places to go. Aside from the ornamental fountain, there were plenty of suitable places to spend the night.
But when she actually tried to think of one, no suitable place came to mind. It had only been five days since she returned to the Platini Mansion after being away for a long time. It was only natural that nothing came to mind, as so many things in the capital must have changed in that time.
Among the things that had changed was Violet.
In Helen’s childhood days when she stayed in the capital as Helen Platini, Violet had barely sustained her life in the darkness.
During the one year Helen stayed in the capital as Violet Drifon, Violet had escaped from the darkness. And she had met family, met Carlisle, received love, and given just as much love in return.
The people of the world cherished the lovely princess, and everyone believed such days would continue.
But tragically, after she died and Helen returned to being Helen Platini and came here, the people of the world were beginning to forget Violet.
Except for those deeply connected to Violet, Helen had not seen the people of the world so much as mention her name.
They say time is a medicine for those who live on after losing a loved one, and truly, time was medicine for them. However, for the one who was loved, time was poison.
The times spent with her drove those who loved her to madness. They shed tears at a single old memory that surfaced unconsciously, reproached themselves for failing to protect her, and were consumed by the fear of having to face tomorrow without her.
Only then did Helen know what she had to face.
“Violet.”
Once this dark night passed and the brilliantly shining sun brightened the sky, she would have a place she must go.
* Sibello
Helen tilted back the hood that covered her conspicuously red hair. She had arrived at a place quite far from the Platini Mansion, so she believed no one who saw her mixed among the crowd would think she was the daughter of Count Platini.
Rather, escaping from the Platini Mansion had been more difficult.
When morning came, Helen’s body had healed completely, as if everything had been a lie. She had no fever, and rather, her body felt lighter than usual.
The Countess, confirming that Helen’s condition had improved, urged her to prepare early from the morning, as the Emperor might visit again today. If Rosie had not stepped forward and told the Countess, caught up in her swollen ambition, that the Emperor would not come today, Helen would undoubtedly be trapped inside her bedroom right now.
At that time, Helen saw Rosie’s sad gaze. She had not seen Rosie since yesterday when Rosie went to meet Lucas. Because she had been burning with fever, she had no way of knowing how their conversation had ended.
But seeing Rosie’s dark complexion, she realized it had not ended well. There, Helen could neither comfort Rosie nor give her hope. It was a problem only time could solve.
Helen skipped breakfast and immediately left the mansion, heading here.
She had come to the site of what had been called the wedding of the century, but it had been transformed into a space to commemorate Violet, whom everyone had loved dearly.
Despite it being winter, countless flowers were placed around Violet’s grave. There were only purple flowers symbolizing her and white flowers to mourn her death.
Judging by the freshly bloomed flowers placed atop the gradually withering ones, it was evident that there were quite a few people who came to mourn her.
Only then did Helen realize she had not brought a single flower to give to Violet. And she carefully sat before the tombstone engraved with words for Violet.
Cold settled into the hand she placed on the tombstone. It was made of stone, so it was only natural that it was cold, yet it felt exactly like a greeting from Violet. Though beneath the tombstone, instead of a cold corpse, there was only damp or dry soil.
Violet would have become a handful of ash, still drifting through the vast world even now.
“May I give you a flower? May I do that?”
Even though the one who had fallen into eternal sleep had never been loved by anyone. Even though I am the one who stole the time during which she should have been loved by everyone.
Helen felt that if she were to gently place a purple violet flower resembling her before this tombstone, she would be committing yet another sin at that moment.
She had already committed more than enough sins and suffered more than enough.
Engulfed in happiness she had tasted for the first time since birth, she had not known that everything embracing her was a sin. She had thought that warm smiles, a single kind word, and gentle touches were all things she could gladly enjoy.
They had all been hers.
Guilt sapped the strength from her legs, and she collapsed. She did not even notice her dress being soiled by the damp soil.
“……I stole your happiness. I took the things you should have rightfully enjoyed.”
People said. It was fortunate that the princess who had grown up in darkness for most of her life had lived her final moments in light, albeit briefly. It was fortunate that the princess who could not be loved had been loved so much.
Some even said this of her death. Though it was a tragic death, since she had not died alone in the arms of those she loved, it was not a tragic death.
Everyone comforted Violet that way and mourned her death.
But they are wrong.
The unfortunate princess, who lost her mother at birth and was even abandoned by her father, had fallen into a sleep from which she would never awaken in the darkness. The one who emerged from the darkness was Helen, who had taken over her body that rested in eternal sleep.
“In the end, you were never loved, and you never made it out of the darkness.”
She couldn’t bear to go so far as to say that the princess they had loved was not Violet Drifon but Helen Platini. What good would it do to insist on an unprovable truth about someone who had disappeared from the world? Nothing would change.
But perhaps the one who should be resting here is me?
Helen smiled briefly in relief. She had not spoken aloud her desire to lighten, even by a little, the sin that would not be washed away no matter how many times she knelt in apology.
“He still loves you.”
Helen rolled her eyes, which had been facing the tombstone, downward. The white snow that had fallen yesterday had already melted, making the ground damp.
“The person I love lives unable to forget you.”
It hurt so much, and having to watch him was so agonizing that she wanted to burst the heart embedded in her tingling chest.
“I wish you had lived.”
She had not wanted to admit this one thing. That even the moments she had lived as Violet were becoming Violet’s.
But after admitting it, she felt somewhat relieved. Her heart still ached, but not enough to want to burst her heart.
Last night, seeing Carlisle outside where she had briefly stepped out because she missed Hexilov, she had realized.
The person who loved Violet most lived each day anxiously, unable to forget her in the slightest. For he had reached the point of sensing her in another person entirely.
“I wish you had lived to love Carlisle. Even the love I failed to give him. That’s the only way Carlisle can be happy.”
As Helen smiled, a calm wind blew. Ironically, the wind felt warm. As if Violet had sent it.
“Violet. We will never meet again now.”
I will forget you. I will forget the life I lived as you. I will forget the people I loved as you. I will forget the people who loved you. I will forget your life.
Ah, it really was the end. The result of the happiness she had enjoyed for a time longer than a fleeting moment was drawing near.
“Thank you.”
For letting me know what it means to be loved.
“And I’m sorry.”
For stealing the time during which you could have been loved.
“Then goodbye.”
She wished with all her heart that in that place, Violet had become someone loved by all.
Helen brushed off the damp soil clinging to her hands from the snow that had fallen overnight and rose from her spot.
If she returned to the mansion too late, the Countess might suspect that she had been ill until dawn. So she intended to return to the mansion immediately.
Then, a man in a knight’s uniform was walking from not far away. It was the crisp gait characteristic of a knight.
In that moment, Helen’s breath caught in her throat.
“Why are you here……”
It was Edwin Vance. He was approaching the tombstone engraved with Violet’s name, holding a bouquet of violets in his arms.