Episode 11
For a moment, Lukas, caught off guard, puffed air into his cheeks.
As if to prove she was not the child of an emotionally barren Count, the woman who had drawn such a frighteningly firm line kept catching his eye. It was not that she was pitiful because of the rumors; because she sat upon the swing Violet had loved, it felt as though he had discovered traces of longing itself. The strange sense of déjà vu only served to heighten his interest.
"Is that so. It seems the party is not to your liking."
"......Today is the first I learned the party was in such a place."
While Lukas quietly nodded, Violet was busy scheming how to flee quickly.
She had even bid farewell, saying she would take her leave, yet here he was, keeping her! Should she have given a more plausible excuse than the pretext of not disturbing the Emperor’s time?
Before Helen could think of a good way out, Lukas spoke first.
"The Count Platini must have been fond of it."
"......."
"With two children so dear he wouldn’t feel pain even if they were placed in his eyes."
"Then why doesn’t Your Majesty hold a state wedding too? Bear children who resemble Your Majesty as well. If you’re going to do it anyway, a pair of siblings who get along well would be nice."
Helen hastily covered her mouth with her hand. The words had come out thoughtlessly. She had spoken thus because she found Lukas’s remark absurd—knowing nothing of the family’s circumstances, nor of the hidden side of the Count. Having completely forgotten that Lukas was the Emperor, and that she was Helen.
Lukas fell silent. The reason he could make no reply was that he had once heard the exact same words from another in the past.
"Then why don’t you get married too, Orabeoni? You should have children who look like you. I wish for siblings who get along well, like us."
It had been Violet’s playful reply to the statement that he liked the pure side of children.
That day, Violet had smiled with an unusually innocent glow. Even in a modest dress, she had been splendid. Her cheeks full of life, the sight of her back as she admired her own garden had been so lovely that he had watched for a long while.
And now, could it truly be a coincidence that the young lady before him posed the same question as the vanished Violet with a similar expression?
"Ah...... I have dared to commit rudeness against Your Majesty. Please forgive me."
Helen, gauging that Lukas merely smirked, immediately turned and ran away.
She was leaving the capital once today’s party ended. Wherever she went, it would be far from the capital, and she would never return. Therefore, now was the only time she could receive punishment for her offense against the Emperor. Yet she had even squandered the chance to pay for her guilt by turning her back on him.
Lukas watched leisurely as she hoisted her dress hem and fled as fast as she could in her shoes.
He had no intention of catching her. He didn’t know why, but somehow he had a premonition that they would meet again soon.
Only when Helen had run so far that even the hem of her dress was no longer visible did Lukas finally move.
He sat on the swing that Violet had enjoyed riding.
"What’s so good about a measly swing like this."
It was a swing made in haste without even simple decoration. Violet had wanted it made, but even now he didn’t know why she had liked such an unadorned swing so much.
No, now that time had passed, he felt he might vaguely understand. Perhaps she had wanted to organize her thoughts while feeling the breeze. Having grown up in darkness for so long, she might have needed time alone.
"I should have saved you sooner. I was a fool."
The former emperor had hidden the imperial princess, his disgrace, deep within a remote tower. It had been an act committed out of fear that the world would discover this pitiful child was his own flesh and blood, despite her being his child. Never imagining that what he had done would return as a poisoned dagger.
"I simply miss you."
The imperial palace where Violet had stayed was more splendid than yesterday and bustling with more people than yesterday, yet it was lonely. Especially this place that had lost its master.
"You left behind many traces, yet among them, none still hold your warmth."
Lukas lowered his head. Instead of the person he longed for, he saw the trace of another. It was a footprint clearly belonging to someone.
She was the only woman among today’s invited guests with red hair. Having been away from the capital for so long, she couldn’t possibly have known what kind of place this was.
Had she known whose space this was, she would never have set foot here.
"Was her name Helen."
A woman with red hair and green eyes. Thus did he remember Helen.
"Then why doesn’t Your Majesty hold a state wedding too? Bear children who resemble Your Majesty as well. If you’re going to do it anyway, a pair of siblings who get along well would be nice."
"Then why don’t you get married too, Orabeoni? You should have children who look like you. I wish for siblings who get along well, like us."
Her face, having spoken the same words as Violet, kept flickering before him.
It is a coincidence.
It makes no sense unless it is a coincidence.
Therefore, it must be a coincidence.
But he wished it were not a coincidence.
"If it means you are alive, I would welcome even that."
If you are alive, even having borrowed another’s body, wherever you are and whatever you look like, I will surely find you.
"Marriage, huh."
Marriage was certainly long overdue. With the Empress’s throne, the most important position in the empire, left vacant, as emperor, he ought to fulfill his duty to hold a state wedding.
* Sibello
Helen’s breath had risen to the tip of her throat, and she could run no further. Truthfully, she could hardly be said to have run due to the cumbersome dress; it was closer to rapid walking. In any case, she could flee no further, and having reached a place where not even Lukas’s shadow was visible, she decided to catch her breath here.
She had no strength left to examine where this place was. Judging by the faintly audible music, it did not seem to be very far from the hall.
The white breath Helen exhaled vanished into the winter air.
"If I go back, I’ll run into Liandre."
Seeing Liandre again was something she hated as much as death, but there was nothing she could do without his help. She could neither flee far nor erase memories with magic.
"Would it have been better if I had just told him the truth that day?"
If she had confessed on the day she woke after Violet’s death that everything that had happened over the past year had, in fact, been done by Liandre through magic, would her current situation be a little better?
Sitting on a wooden bench, Helen pulled her legs onto it and hugged them with both arms. She buried her face, wet with a tearful expression, into her skirt. Then she gathered all her breath and let out an exclamation.
"Why me? Why of all people!"
Why of all the countless people in the world.
She had yearned to be a person who was loved, wanted to become one. Just because she had achieved that dream didn’t mean she wanted to become someone unloved again. In the days of yearning, she had been happy because there was a dream to achieve, but now that even that dream had vanished, happiness had sunk to the very bottom.
Shouting out did not make her feel refreshed inside. Still, she couldn’t hear anyone else’s footsteps, and since the music of the ongoing party could be heard, surely no one would hear such a desperate outcry.
That was what she thought, but the reality was different.
"My lady?"
"......!"
There was someone in this place she had believed to be empty. It was the moment the greatly startled Helen slowly turned her head to confirm the person’s form.
"Kyaaah!"
Helen screamed and leaned her body back to get as far from that person as possible. Realizing there was flat ground behind her, she flailed both arms wildly, but it was already too late.
Just as she thought her head might hit the ground first and she could die, Helen’s hand was caught and pulled by someone.
It was Carlisle. Standing behind the bench, he apologized to Helen, who had dramatically avoided falling to the ground.
"I’m sorry. I didn’t expect you would be so surprised. Oh, the apology shouldn’t come first. Are you alright?"
Carlisle belatedly examined Helen’s condition.
Helen was dazed by what had happened in an instant. She couldn’t answer easily. All Helen could see now was Carlisle holding her hand.
Carlisle’s gloves were colder than her own hands, which had grown cold from being outside so long. Realizing this, Helen came to her senses and pulled her hand free.
"Ah, yes. I’m alright. I will be alright. I have to be alright."
Without even knowing what she was saying, Helen moved away from the bench. She had been sure there was no one. Because she hadn’t heard footsteps. Though of course, she hadn’t had the energy to look around.
That wasn’t what was important. What mattered was that the person behind the bench happened to be Carlisle Everett.
Helen squeezed her eyes shut. She wished this were a dream. No, it had to be a dream. When she opened her eyes again, Carlisle Everett should not be there. That was how it had to be......
Unfortunately, when she opened her eyes again, Carlisle was tilting his head, checking if she was in her right mind.
"You don’t seem alright."
His black eyes pierced into Helen’s heart. It was the first time she had seen Carlisle again since that night at Hexelof. To be exact, it was the second time, since she had seen his back before entering the hall.
Helen rolled her eyes downward to avoid Carlisle’s gaze.
"Why are you here? Weren’t you the main figure of today’s party, Your Grace?"
"That’s right, but I hate parties."
"Ah......"
Helen quickly agreed. But while hating the party played a part in why she was here, more than anything, it was because she hated Liandre. She hated him for hiding the truth all this time and for making her realize that this hellish life was reality.
Therefore, having concluded that she didn’t want to return yet, Helen met Carlisle’s gaze once more.
"Me too. I’m here because I hate the party too. But don’t worry. I’ll be leaving soon."
Helen shrugged, having withheld the words that she would slowly make her way out when people began to leave the hall around the time the party ended.
As if he had caught on to such inner thoughts, Carlisle smirked, tugging up the corner of his mouth.
"This is perfect timing. I wanted to express my thanks for last time."
Helen, realizing that "last time" referred to providing him a night’s lodging at Hexelof, waved her hands.
"If it’s about that, you don’t need to trouble yourself. No one visits the villa anyway."
There, the bitter weather had played a part due to Hexelof being located at the northernmost tip of the empire. However, the greatest reason was likely that Helen had been abandoned by Count Platini.
If the Count had not truly abandoned his own flesh-and-blood daughter, he would have sent at least the Count’s personal physician during all that time, even if he couldn’t come himself. To examine whether she had any ailments from the cold weather.
But throughout that long time, she had never received an examination from anyone besides the old doctor at Hexelof.