Chapter 15
“Haa…… haa…….”
Was that my breathing……? Ah…… it was my breathing…….
Hot, labored breathing forced its way between my lips and spilled out.
As if I had depleted all my strength, my body lay limply collapsed on the bed.
My entire body was so hot that breathing was difficult, as if I had been exposed beneath a blazing sun. My head was dazed, and my vision was hazy, as if shrouded in fog.
‘How did I end up like this…….’
Amid the chaos, as if everything had been turned upside down, one thing alone remained in my memory.
That I had absorbed the Guardian Stone this morning.
Even I had not expected that.
When I woke up that morning, aside from a slight throbbing pain all over from having fallen, there had been nothing different from usual.
I had thought I would be in considerable pain after sleeping, but perhaps the salve applied last night had worked well—the bruised areas had largely subsided, and my wounds had eased.
Not knowing their face, I thanked the person who had given me the medicine as I got down from the bed, only to be startled. Wasn’t red energy flowing out from my legs?
When I raised my hand, it was the same.
It was the same symptom I had seen on the day my ability manifested.
‘What is going on?’
I couldn’t help but panic. It was far sooner than I had expected.
Because in the past, my ability had manifested two days later—at Count Croisen’s memorial service.
An anniversary created to mourn Count Croisen, who had died in an unfortunate accident.
That day, I had been an uninvited guest.
Count Croisen was my father as well, yet neither the Countess nor my half-sister had told me to attend.
Nor had I particularly wished to mourn my father. But strangely, when it came to not going, I felt uneasy.
It was probably because of the sad way Father had looked at me.
And the other emotion deeply layered beneath it…….
It is a memory from when I was too young to be certain whether it was true or not, but thinking back now, I believe it must have been affection.
If not, how could I have felt such softness and warmth in someone’s gaze?
In the end, unable to overcome that feeling, I stole away and hid in a corner of the hall where the memorial was being held.
Perhaps that was when it began.
When red energy like that which flows from my body now had started to pour out of me.
Distracted by observing the people gathered in the hall, I failed to realize it.
I shouldn’t have looked at my half-sister then. I shouldn’t have met her eyes.
Even if she had looked so beautiful and radiant beneath the bright light, I shouldn’t have lost myself gazing at her.
I still remember the moment our eyes met—she had sensed my gaze.
The distrust that surfaced in her deep green pupils soon shifted to bewilderment, and eventually to a gentle gaze.
And then, thinking I had misseen something I must not miss, I let myself be entranced.
The flash of rage and hatred that had surged fiercely the instant her bewilderment vanished. That that look was her true inner self.
Had someone else among the nobles at the memorial—someone other than her—seen me, had they realized I had manifested the Guardian Stone, would my future not have been different, even if only slightly?
No. No, it wouldn’t. Nothing would have changed. They would have killed me all the same.
They would have flicked their serpentine, cunning tongues and coaxed me with sweet words, doing the exact same thing as before.
They would have separated me from the Guardian Stone, assured me that it was mine, and eventually plunged a knife into my heart.
I still remember. How my half-sister acted upon confirming that I had begun reacting to the Guardian Stone.
After whispering something to the Countess, my half-sister approached me without anyone noticing. And spoke with a gentle smile.
It was an angelic smile I had never once seen before.
“My dear sister Herna. Shall we move elsewhere for a moment? If people see you like this now, I think they will be quite surprised.”
Was she saying they would be surprised because I was a bastard?
I had thought so at the time.
But my half-sister raised my hand to show me—the red energy flowing from my body.
How shocked I had been then.
I had seen it long ago, when my father was still alive. The red energy that flowed out whenever he used his ability.
That energy was now flowing from me.
No matter how young I had been, there was no way I could fail to realize that I had inherited my father’s ability.
It was unbelievable. Who would have imagined that I, who had inherited only half his blood, would receive the Croisen family’s ability?
And not to my half-sister, the legitimate heir, but to me, Herna, a bastard.
“If you do not wish to draw people’s attention, come here.”
Dazed by a situation I had never even dreamed of, I remained still even as my half-sister’s hand took hold of mine.
Thinking back, her hand had been terribly cold then.
I remember that when I was led out of the memorial by my half-sister’s hand, the red energy disappeared as well.
She had told me it was a temporary phenomenon.
Some temporary phenomenon.
Now that I had directly come into contact with the Guardian Stone, I scoffed at my past self for having believed those words so naively. It was not temporary.
From the moment my power manifested, if I entered within a certain distance of the Guardian Stone, red energy would naturally flow from my body.
As if to declare, “You are my master.”
In fact, the red light of the Guardian Stone grew stronger as I approached the desk drawer where it was kept and weaker as I moved away.
Realizing a truth I had not known, the thought that filled my mind was to quickly absorb the Guardian Stone before anyone discovered me.
I knew that absorbing the Guardian Stone before turning nineteen could weaken its power, but I could not wait until then.
Wasn’t it better to have somewhat diminished power than to be killed before I could even absorb it?
‘Didn’t she say that once the power manifests, you only need to touch the Guardian Stone to absorb it?’
My half-sister, Biarte, had said so.
That I need only touch and absorb the Guardian Stone when I turned nineteen.
The unfortunate thing was that I had never heard what happens after absorption.
With no knowledge, there was nothing I could prepare. I merely thought that I had to prevent anyone from entering my room while the absorption took place.
The problem was cleaning and meals.
If a maid coming to clean or bring food saw me with my power manifested, it would be disastrous, so I resolved to hang a sign and lock the door.
The sign I had made myself read “Please do not disturb,” and I had prepared it for times when I didn’t feel like eating or when I disliked someone entering my room. I think I had used it maybe three or four times until now.
Taking the sign, I approached the door, opened it, and poked my head out slightly.
Confirming that the hallway was empty, I hung the sign, came back inside, and locked the door.
Approaching the desk and opening the drawer, the Guardian Stone, shining in the same red hue as the light flowing from my body, filled my eyes, searing into them.
Had it always been this beautiful?
Blankly entranced by the Guardian Stone, I hastily shook my head. This was no time to be doing this.
Taking several deep breaths, I slowly reached my hand toward the Guardian Stone.
Though I had resolved to absorb it, I couldn’t help feeling nervous now that the moment was upon me.
“Ugh…….”
The moment I grasped the Guardian Stone, the absorption began. No, “assimilation” would have been the more accurate word.
The instant I took hold of it, the Guardian Stone transformed into several streaks of red light and burrowed into my body.
At the same time, a shock like being struck by lightning flowed from my mind down to the tips of my toes.
Ahh, I see……. So this is it……. This is how you and I become one…….
Never before had anyone embraced me so gently. It was so warm that I wondered if being held by my mother would have felt like this.
But the assimilation was not smooth. Suddenly, the power of the Guardian Stone collided with something inside my body.
From then on, the agony began.
My whole body burned as if aflame, and my breathing grew ragged. As if I had entered a place devoid of air.
I remained in this state continuously. My mind was so hazy that I couldn’t even tell if I was asleep or awake.
“Haa…….”
I felt tears well up in my heated eyes and roll down my cheeks.
Was absorbing the Guardian Stone always supposed to be this painful?
I had no idea how much time had passed since then. Everything was simply hazy.
“……Water……. Some water…….”
Though I knew there was no one else in the room, I muttered weakly.
I felt as though I would die from my burning thirst, but I lacked even the strength to reach for the teapot and cup on the table. All I could do was endure the pain.
When I exhaled another scorching breath, I suddenly felt a cool breeze. It seemed to be coming from the window.
Had I left the window open?
I clearly remembered closing the door, but I couldn’t recall what I had done with the window. I thought I might have closed it, or perhaps I had left it open.
Well, what did it matter if it was open? My room was on the third floor; it was impossible for anyone to enter through the window.
My mind, which had turned for the briefest moment, stopped again. There was no way I could think with a mind so dazed.
My throat was so parched from thirst that it felt as though it would crack, and my vision was completely obscured by fog.
When I twisted my body slightly from the pain welling up from deep within, something cool touched my forehead.
‘……A hand?’
Even in my unconscious state, I felt that it was a person’s hand. Moreover, not a woman’s hand, but a large man’s hand, thick with calluses.
But I soon scoffed. There was no way a man would be in my room.
I must have fallen asleep and was dreaming.
As I was thinking that even a dream would be fine if only it would cool me further, a low voice reached my ears.
“You are in such pain, yet no one tends to you?”
So it really is a dream…….
Only then was I certain that I had entered a dream.
His voice was hoarse as if frayed, but more than that, the very fact that Rakain was in my room made no sense.
That must have been why. Like a drowning person grasping at straws, I had clung so desperately.
“……Water…… water…….”
Even though it was a dream, why was my body still so hot and in agony?
Thinking that quenching my thirst even in a dream might ease me in reality, I desperately repeated only the word “water.”
My throat was so parched that I couldn’t even muster a full sentence.
I felt as though I had repeated it several times, but when no answer came, I thought he must have disappeared.
Though I rationalized that it was certainly possible since it was a dream, perhaps because of the pain, it felt unbearably sorrowful.
As I was sniffling and pouting, something firm wrapped around my shoulder, and I felt my upper body being carefully lifted.
My head, which had been about to tilt back, came to rest against something solid. It felt as if I were cradled in someone’s arms.
More than anything, the rough and cool sensation from the other person’s clothes felt so good.
“Open your mouth, my lady.”
Open my mouth?
I stirred my parched lips.
As my mouth opened slightly, something thin and cold flowed in.
Ah……!
Without realizing it, I let out a low moan.
Water flowed into my mouth, moistening my dried, cracked lips.
The moment the water touched my tongue, it was so sweet that I felt I might melt.
I had to swallow. I had to swallow to extinguish the fire burning in my throat and body.
But my throat, dry for so long, could not perform its function. The water merely trickled down from the corners of my mouth.
It was maddening. It was so infuriating and frustrating—to hold the water I had so desperately wanted in my mouth and be unable to swallow it.
The tears that had stopped gushed forth once more.