2. Between Love and …… (1)
November 7, 2017.
The man next door brought his index finger near her temple and drew circles, spinning it round and round.
That, that…… He’s saying I’m crazy, right?
“But giving a long lecture to others while looking like that…… doesn’t seem quite right. Not at all, actually.”
Just as Hawon was stammering in absurdity and her face turned bright red, the flashy woman she’d seen earlier emerged again from the neighbor’s house.
“Found it, Sejun-ssi! It was under the bed just like you said.”
The woman appeared with fishnet stockings full of holes dangling from her finger.
‘That woman has also lost all common sense as a set with the next-door guy.’
Whose daughter could she be…… If her parents knew, they’d wail in great sorrow.
The woman called the next-door man “Sejun-ssi” in a nasal voice and subtly linked her arm through his.
“Sejun-ssi. What are you doing, not going in? Hmm? Hasn’t that woman been standing there since earlier? She looks weird…… Sejun-ssi, I’m scared. Let’s go in.”
She urged the next-door man, who was glaring at Hawon as if in a staring contest.
Then she looked at Hawon, flinched, and dragged the next-door man away, disappearing quickly.
“Ah, seriously!!!”
Unable to quell her indignation, Hawon rolled up the newspaper tucked under her arm and hit the neighbor’s gate with it to vent her anger.
“Hah, hah…… Maybe it’s because I’m getting older now; even getting angry is hard. I’m not what I used to be……”
Tiring herself out before long, Hawon opened the door lock and entered her own house.
And the moment she saw the large full-length mirror attached next to the shoe cabinet, she gasped with a sharp intake of breath and flinched.
In short, the woman reflected in the mirror was……
a light-year of wilted flowers stuck in her hair.
Hawon had tied her hair in a messy bun last night because she was furious.
Overnight, hair was sticking out everywhere, and thanks to rubbing against her pillow to her heart’s content, it was like a bomb-stricken wasteland.
Her eyelids were strangely swollen today, and from the corners of her mouth to her earlobes were stubborn, fiercely stretched trails of hardened white secretion stains.
As if that weren’t enough.
Her shirt was stretched out at the neckline as far as it could go, riddled with holes, and she hadn’t properly wiped away traces of various foods, so the stains remained intact.
Her bottoms were boxer briefs snatched from her younger brother.
Thanks to the opening characteristic of men’s underwear, the face of a rabbit protagonist from some famous animation was peeking through playing peek-a-boo, shoving its winking mug forward.
The more Hawon examined every inch of her body, the more her face crumpled without restraint like paper.
“No! Aaaaaargh!!!”
This can’t be happening!!! It can’t!!!
How could this Gu Hawon!!!
I should’ve at least worn those leopard print pants I threw off last night!!!!!!
The root of the problem was that she’d poked her head out without a thought, simply planning to grab the newspaper, and ran into the next-door man, losing her reason.
I should’ve just controlled myself a little!! I lost my temper again!!!
Agh……
‘You don’t look like much.’
The next-door man’s words echoed in her ears.
She really did look like a nobody.
I should’ve just shut up and come inside quietly, why did I have to jump up like that!!!
Her face burned from the double attack of shame and humiliation.
You stupid Gu Hawon!!!
Why didn’t you look in the mirror even once before going out!!!
You usually look in the mirror enough to wear it out!!!
At this rate, you’ll ruin the company’s reputation all by yourself.
Hawon had analyzed the Eco Beauty market and developed natural whitening cosmetics by mixing antioxidant substances extracted from rice wash, nuruk, and pomegranate seeds.
Afterward, following the establishment of her company, she had penetrated overseas markets and was rising higher day by day.
Especially in India, with a population exceeding 1.3 billion, the desire for whitening was immense, so her company’s products sold like hotcakes the moment they were advertised.
[Change your life with MOA.]
A means to satisfy the desire of women who wanted to become more beautiful, emphasizing that it was a ‘natural’ whitening cosmetic.
Yet it was also an advertisement put forth by Hawon’s company, considering consumers’ concerns about side effects and the addition of harmful substances to the human body.
Magazines and advertisement posters featured this phrase along with the image of a female model applying the whitening cosmetics to her face, and that model was none other than…… Hawon.
‘If consumers see this face of mine, they’ll have seizures. They might even boycott. The company will probably go completely bankrupt.’
Now she was in a situation where she had to hide like a thief so that the next-door man wouldn’t know of her existence.
If today had been a workday, how nice that would have been.
Then she could have shown him the perfect image of a career woman.
She regretted like mad, but it was already far too late.
And so Hawon spent her weekend self-deprecatingly thinking that it would be much better to just suffer from amnesia.
Preparing for work with a haggard face, even while entering the dressing room and picking out the shoes she loved so much, her mind was already in a state of separation from her body.
‘Please don’t let me run into the next-door man.’
Planning to slam the door shut quickly if the next-door man happened to be outside, she turned the front door handle very slowly.
‘I’m saved.’
Peeking through the open crack of the door, the neighbor’s place was fortunately very quiet.
Going to work even more out of it with relief, Hawon was chased by busy company work and returned home in a ragged state.
“Eojju~”
The moment it saw Hawon, Eojju lay flat at the front door wagging its tail as if it had been waiting.
At that sight, Hawon melted into a puddle and lay on the floor at the entrance with Eojju, engaging in affectionate behavior.
“Agoo agoo, you were bored alone again today? But I came back early today.”
Hawon was laughing at Eojju’s tiny tongue lapping at her earlobe when she suddenly thought of something, picked Eojju up, and rose from her spot.
Silencing her footsteps, Hawon opened the living room window, went out to the balcony, pricked up her ears, and listened toward the neighbor’s house.
Hmm? It’s quiet today?
Are they busily engaging in productive activities with the door closed?
Why isn’t there any sound?
She had definitely seen the next-door man going into his house with a woman before entering her own home.
Ironically, despite having avoided him that morning while watching his place, they had run into each other in the elevator going up after work.
Their eyes met, but fortunately her makeup and hair were fine unlike that time, so he seemed not to recognize her.
They say good-looking people pull their weight in presence; a woman was hanging off the next-door man’s arm.
Only it wasn’t the woman making lewd sounds in the middle of the night a few days ago, but a different woman with a voluptuous chest pressed against the next-door man’s arm.
Having overheard their conversation in the elevator, she had naturally let her imagination run wild that lewd sounds like last weekend would be heard.
But when Hawon didn’t hear even a small sound, she felt oddly disappointed.
Wait! Disappointed?
No, no!!! I’m not a voyeur.
Hawon closed the window with a face that had turned red without her realizing it, and went into the dressing room.
Coming out in comfortable clothes, Hawon picked up the documents she’d thrown at the entrance earlier and sat at the large table in the living room.
Although she had a separate study, Hawon preferred the open space of the living room.
How long had she been concentrating, turning on her laptop and rummaging through documents?
Thud-.
She heard the sound of something hitting the wall.
Thud-.
“What is it this time?”
Her concentration broken by the consecutive sounds, Hawon snapped her head up and looked around for the wall the sound was coming from.
Thud. Thud. Thud.
“Why is the soundproofing here so bad!!”
The place where Hawon stood following the sound was the dressing room.
From the wall adjoining the neighbor’s place, the thumping sound was heard quite regularly and strongly.
“It…… can’t be?!”
Though she lacked experience, the sum of what she’d heard and seen was so vast that even a twenty-volume encyclopedia wouldn’t suffice to contain it.
Since she was no longer at an age of pure innocence, Hawon could immediately figure out what this sound was.
“These people, really!”
Are they really doing this from the weekend all the way through Monday!
Making the heart of this thirty-year-old single woman living alone flutter!!!
Hawon went into the study and came out with two thick hardcover books.
Then she went straight into the dressing room and began hitting the wall alternately with the books toward the thumping sound.
Thud! Thud! Thud!
“Should I hit faster?”
Thud! Thud! Thud! Thud! Thud! Thud!
Hawon hit the wall even faster with the books.
“Hmph! You think you’re the only one spending a hot night?! I’m spending a night boiling over like lava over here!”
Since the next-door man wouldn’t know whether this room was a dressing room or a bedroom, Hawon wanted to let him know that she too was spending a hot, intense night with someone here.
Hawon continuously slammed the books against the wall.
How much time had passed since she started doing that?
The neighbor’s place became quiet as if nothing had happened.
Only then did Hawon pant and head toward the living room table, tossing the books she was holding carelessly onto the floor.
“Goodness…… I’ve really done everything there is to do in life.”
Just as Hawon gulped down cold water and was about to pick up her documents again, she saw a book peeking its head out from inside her bag.
It was a book that Yuna, a colleague and friend who worked with Hawon at the company today, had strongly recommended and forcibly put in her bag before leaving.
It bore a grandiose title:
The word in the title that particularly caught Hawon’s eye.
‘Love’
As she gazed at these two characters, a painful wound from the past came to mind.
She had first met him during a time when Hawon was busy preparing to start her business.
He was the one who had handed her a handkerchief while Hawon was hurriedly having a meal of bagels and coffee at a coffee shop.
Believing his words that he’d fallen in love at first sight as if they were set in stone, she had given him everything as if ready to pour out her entire being.
Like a tree that gives without hesitation.
Until he accidentally sent her a text meant for another woman, which she read.
Hawon had stupidly believed her lover’s words that he wanted to cherish her preciously.
Seeing him always saying a brief goodbye with a short kiss in front of her house, telling her to see him tomorrow, she had thought he really loved and cherished her.
The day she had deliberately found a Japanese restaurant in Gangbuk that he liked and packed sushi.
The moment she got in the car, a text came from him.
[Bought the wine you like, honey. Hurry over~]
At that moment, she intuitively realized.
That this text hadn’t been sent to her.
It felt like blood was rushing from her toes to the top of her head, but Hawon tried to calm herself and went to his house.
And after that…… as could be expected, it was the worst.
Beyond the door, the sticky moans of a man and woman panting for breath.
When she opened the door, a naked man and woman were tangled on the bed.
Without even realizing Hawon had entered.
He looked at Hawon, who was in shock, and said.
Shamelessly, while still naked from having mixed bodies with the woman moments before.
‘A virgin at that age. Of course that’s burdensome for a man? I never had any intention of marrying you from the start.’
She hadn’t particularly thought of marrying him either, but his words were strangely shocking.
Her heart sank at those words that she had been excluded from marriage candidacy from the very beginning.
‘Any man would obviously suffocate me later, binding my breath, claiming she gave me her purity. What man would walk into that hellfire?’
A man who, despite cheating, showed not the slightest hint of apology but rather raised his voice.
Nearly a year had passed, but she couldn’t forget what he had said.
She wasn’t the type to insist on premarital chastity.
She had never thought she absolutely had to marry the person she gave her virginity to.
Rather, she thought such notions were old-fashioned.
But her philosophy was that she couldn’t have sex without emotions.
Sex was only possible when there was a special emotional foundation between a man and woman.
Because she thought that way, she had naturally assumed others did too.
Foolishly.
Stupidly.
She had thought that man was surely the same as her.
Deceived by his daily whispers of love, she had thought she was the only one in his life.
She was disgusted with her own foolishness in thinking that sex was only possible where there was love.
And without being able to say a word, she had run out of his house as if fleeing.
The regret of not being able to slap his cheek even once then had coagulated into a lump in her chest.
‘Men, after all.’
Hawon thought.
Surely the contents of the book Yuna gave her would contain the story of foolish men and women in the name of love.
‘Just read the first chapter for now.’
She remembered Yuna’s words, insisting that she read just one chapter.
Yuna’s fussy figure seemed to flicker before her eyes.
“Ha…… Really, Yuna, there’s no talking sense into you.”
As if possessed by something, Hawon took out the book Yuna had given her and opened it.
Hawon’s hand, which had been turning the pages, stopped dead.
[The criteria men use to choose women are not very different from what women look for in men. Our ancestors said that pretty rice cakes are good to eat too. How right the words of the elders are.
Might as well go for bright red skirts. Being smart and having a good personality is nice, but it’s natural that the eye goes to appearance first. Especially since men are animals infinitely weak to visual stimulation.]
The bitter romance of the past came to mind once again.
Come to think of it, the woman she’d seen at his house had a flashy appearance like someone who’d come out of a TV.
She was pretty and had a voluptuous figure enough to make even herself, a woman, look back once more.
At that time, Hawon had shed all the tears she could in frustration, gone home, and stared at her reflection in the mirror for the longest time.
A chest that wasn’t flat like a cliff wall, but couldn’t be called voluptuous either—just slightly above average.
A stomach that didn’t have flab, but couldn’t be called elastic either.
A face that wasn’t ugly, but hers wasn’t pretty enough to slap an entertainer’s cheek either.
‘As expected, all men are……’
They like pretty and sexy women.
Well, these days women like younger men and capable men too, so it’s the same on both sides.
Come to think of it, all the women with the next-door man had been overflowing with charm like dripping honey.
They say in the old days pretty people were airheads.
These days pretty women take even better care of themselves and have outstanding abilities.
So in the same vein as the saying that someone who does one thing well does everything well, they say pretty people are good at everything……
[Let’s be honest. When you spend the night with someone and open your eyes in the morning, what do you want the person lying next to you to look like?]
Might as well go for bright red skirts, right?
A man with a face like David and an apple-hipped butt is better than a man with beady eyes and a pot belly.
Hawon answered inwardly as she read on.
The following content was the story that just as women want to be embraced in the arms of a wonderful man, men also want to embrace a beautiful woman.
The protagonist,
Yet, because he had never properly given his heart even once, he didn’t know what true love was……
He confessed his own struggle that when watching drama protagonists suffering from love, he wanted to empathize intensely but couldn’t immerse himself emotionally, which tormented him.
“He’s worrying with a full stomach over completely useless things. Must be nice to have it so good.”
The circumstances of the book’s protagonist and Hawon herself were different.
An extremely handsome man.
And an exceedingly ordinary woman.
If there was a common point, it was that neither had properly experienced love.
Just that one-.
“I’ve wasted my time over nothing.”
Hawon closed the book and pushed it far across the table with force.
Come to think of it, it felt truly ironic.
That she, who wasn’t breathtakingly pretty, was running a cosmetics business-.
So what.
She would forge ahead proudly like the horn of a rhinoceros.
* * *
Fortunately, she didn’t run into the next-door man for over a week after that.
On a day when an untimely typhoon and rainstorm raged.
Hawon left work as usual, arrived home, and got off the elevator.
“Oh my!”
The moment the elevator doors opened, what Hawon saw was a large object lying sprawled on the floor blocking her path.
Looking closely, it was a person who had collapsed.
Hawon approached the collapsed person in surprise, urgently shook their body, and shouted.
“Excuse me! Please come to your senses!!!”
When she lifted the bangs covering the eyes, the identity of the collapsed person was none other than the next-door man.
‘Gasp…… What, why is he sprawled here alone today?’
The next-door man, who didn’t budge an inch no matter how much she shook him, was soaked through, as if he had been caught in a lot of rain.
“Just wait! I’ll bring someone right away!”
Thinking her own strength was insufficient, Hawon tried to get up to ask the security guard in the security office for help.
Then the next-door man grabbed Hawon’s wrist and spoke.
“Noisy, ……it’s noisy so just help me get inside…… my home quietly.”
Perhaps because he was running a fever, the next-door man’s face was like a ripe tomato.
“Okay. So let go of this wrist and lean on me.”
Where does a collapsed guy in pain get such strong strength?
Hawon tried to raise the next-door man’s upper body and lean it against her shoulder.
“Kkeuk……”
Since Hawon was quite strong herself, she managed to lift the next-door man and dragged him to stand in front of his front door.
“What’s the password?”
But the man was motionless as if dead.
“Hey! I’m asking what the password is!”
Hawon shook the next-door man’s shoulder and shouted into his ear.
“0……6……1……”
The next-door man finally spat out numbers just then.
“What? Speak properly and loudly!”
You’re loud enough to raise the neighborhood when doing productive work, so why are you whispering like an ant now!!!
“0……6……1……8.”
Only then did Hawon, who had understood clearly, move her fingers busily, press the buttons, and open the door.
And she dumped the next-door man in the entryway like throwing away a garbage bag.
‘Well…… he’s in his own home, so he’ll take care of himself whether he’s sick or dying, I suppose.’
Remembering everything the next-door man had done until now, she couldn’t possibly act kindly.
‘Bringing him all the way inside like this is already a huge deal.’
Hawon said to the man lying motionless in the entryway.
“I’ve brought you here so I’ll be going now. Goodbye.”
Hawon opened the door and slipped out.
And before the door closed, Hawon heard a faint sound coming from inside.
“……Don’t…… go.”
#Private collection