96.
The inner rooms of the villa, where we had gone to change clothes.
Whether it was the attendant’s trickery or not, just as Meriana was finishing her preparations and stepping out, our eyes met at the end of the corridor.
No wonder the far side of the lake had seemed so noisy. It appeared Meriana Peregrine, of all people, had fallen into the water at almost the same moment.
Though the dampness in her hair had not yet fully dried, she was hurrying out of the room in an irritable rush, as if something were pressing her.
For the first time in a very long while, I did not avoid Meriana. I walked up to her of my own accord.
In the past, Meriana would have ignored me entirely, treating me as if I were invisible. Now, as if she could finally see me, she stood waiting in silence, glaring.
“Princess.”
I gave a slight nod.
“I wondered whether you made it home safely last time. You had drunk quite a bit.”
“If you have something to say, say it.”
“About the potion. Have you perhaps ever thought of it this way? That someone who fed it to a person once might be able to feed it to them twice?”
“……What?”
Unfortunately, unless I stirred her up like this, there was no way Meriana would obediently give me any information, so I had no other method I could take.
No matter what I said, she was not someone who would believe in my innocence now.
“So, about that…… the antidote you gave Rohwinas, Princess. Did you keep the spare doses safe?”
In other words, I had no choice but to throw a fastball straight down the middle.
“How dare you!”
Meriana swung her hand.
Last time, she had been drunk, but this time she seemed to grit her teeth out of a genuine desire to strike me.
The arc of her hand was far sharper than before.
Instead of grabbing her wrist, I stepped slightly back and avoided her hand.
Even in my own opinion, what I had said truly deserved a slap, so I was not angry.
“Oh? Do you really not have any antidote left?”
“If I want an antidote, I can obtain one at any time! The likes of you, how dare you, how dare you!”
“Is that so? I don’t think so. The ingredients that go into it are rare, and the process is so complicated that even if you were lucky enough to get it once, you couldn’t guarantee you’d be able to get it a second time……”
“…….”
It was clear she had not known that much. Meriana’s eyes wavered, if only faintly.
Then that must mean there was someone else who had been in charge of making the antidote.
‘Just who did she receive it from?’
“I wonder if that person will so readily hand it over next time, too. No matter how much they cherish you, Princess, well……”
Meriana did not answer.
‘Someone who cherishes the princess? I just threw that out there, but was it true?’
But soon Meriana snorted and threw me a sneer.
“Cherishes me? Do you even know anything before you speak?”
“…….”
“And what does any of that matter? The only one Rohwinas truly loves is me.”
“…….”
“No matter what tricks you try, all of that is fake.”
The topic had veered off course.
‘If I keep digging here, she’ll definitely notice.’
After hesitating, I asked in the end.
“If it wasn’t because they cherish you, then why do you think that person obtained the antidote for you?”
“…….”
“If there was another reason. Can you swear that reason truly did not harm the people around you in the slightest?”
Meriana’s mouth twisted.
“Why? Are you going to spout nonsense about how Rohwinas looked happier when he loved you?”
I lamented inwardly.
Perhaps I should have asked more skillfully.
But it was likely she would have twisted any question I asked.
“Life was never meant to be nothing but happiness. Such perfect love…… naturally cannot exist either.”
“…….”
I looked anew into Meriana’s pale face.
‘What did this woman, who was so arrogant she pierced the heavens, just say?’
But the light returned in an instant to the eyes that had seemed hollow for a moment.
“If you want to spend your whole life buried in that paltry illusion, I won’t stop you. But stay away from me and the count.”
‘I was wondering when that would come out.’
“I warned you. Live like a dead mouse, holding your breath. Know your sin, spend your whole life paying for it, don’t forget your place, and don’t covet someone beyond your station. Living while preserving at least that last shred of dignity—is that so difficult for you?”
Drip, drip…….
Drops of water she had not managed to wipe away fell onto the long carpet laid over the corridor, leaving round marks behind.
“As a fellow woman, I’m telling you it’s horrifying to look at a woman like you.”
Meriana poured a jealous gaze over me, then shoved past me as if ramming my shoulder and walked on.
“Even so, you won’t be able to possess anything.”
Meriana looked back one last time and pulled up the corner of her mouth in a mocking smile, then walked away without looking back again.
I rubbed at the corner of my mouth.
“……I definitely wasn’t slapped, so why does my cheek feel like it’s stinging?”
That accursed princess, really.
Repeating inwardly the words Daena always muttered like a habit, I pushed the door open and went inside.
* * *
Rohwinas stood still. Everything felt far too unreal.
Though his entire body was soaked and dripping water, he could not bring himself to go change.
After escorting Meriana to the front of the villa, he had remained rooted to that spot.
The moment from just before kept replaying before his eyes.
That woman had been there. Her body had been sinking helplessly in the murky water, certainly close enough that he could have reached her if he stretched out his hand.
‘Rohwinas! Save, me, Rohwi, nas!’
The moment he heard that voice, he could no longer move forward.
As if bound in shackles, as if being sucked into a swamp…….
With Anastasia sinking before his eyes, he had to turn away.
In that instant, it felt as though something terribly important had shattered beyond repair.
As he swam without pause toward Meriana, he pictured Anastasia sinking deep into the lake.
With no one to catch hold of her, no one to pull her up, just like that.
He continued to imagine it, as if engraving into his mind the final moments of a woman left alone, with no one beside her.
It felt as if his lungs were being wrung out.
He could not breathe.
And yet Rohwinas’s eyes followed Meriana, who was struggling all the while.
He had not seen the moment she fell from the boat, but Rohwinas realized it without difficulty.
There was no way Meriana would have stupidly let down her guard on a swaying boat.
Meriana had jumped in herself.
All because she wanted proof of Rohwinas’s love.
Because she coveted that invisible thing so desperately.
She had forced Rohwinas, who had been going to save someone, to turn back.
What had she planned to do if he had not returned?
There were many other small boats nearby, so she must have judged that even in the worst case, only her pride would be wounded by the fact that her fiancé had pretended not to notice, while her life would not be in danger.
It was unpleasant beyond words.
Even so, Rohwinas pulled Meriana up to the surface and into his arms.
With his entire body, he bore the heavy weight of a living person clinging to him while gasping out short breaths.
It was a life he was responsible for…….
His heart pounded fiercely.
It was unmistakable relief.
However, even as Rohwinas let his body be carried by the heaving water, and even with the warmth filling his arms, he made no expression at all.
His inscrutable eyes turned toward the air, then reached the railing of the approaching boat.
Rohwinas sent Meriana up onto the boat first.
And toward him, who had lingered for a moment on the surface of the water, Meriana reached out her hand and said.
‘Come up here, quickly.’
Rohwinas did as she said.
When the boat docked at the lakeshore, Rohwinas lifted Meriana into his arms and stepped onto land.
He could feel the people looking at them with a little worry and excitement.
But none of it held any meaning for him.
‘My lady!’
‘Oh my, heavens, are you all right?’
‘We should hurry and get you changed and dry your hair.’
‘Everyone, turn your heads!’
The young ladies who did nothing but trail after Meriana crowded around her, soaked to the bone as she was.
As if showing that state to others were some great disgrace.
Though to someone else, something like this would not have been a great matter at all.
He kept thinking.
If it had been that woman, she would have said that, in life, one could get wet or fall down, and that the more one considered it shameful, the more shameful it would only become.
Then Rohwinas would have taken her hand and pulled her over, saying it did not matter, so come here.
‘Rohwinas.’
Just then, surrounded by the young ladies, Meriana looked back at Rohwinas.
Without a word, Rohwinas took a cloak from his aide and draped it over Meriana’s shoulders.
Then he scooped her into his arms.
‘Where should I go?’
A servant came running out in a fluster and began guiding them.
After that, he had stood in front of the villa all along.
After a very long time, Rohwinas finally admitted it.
That he had been walking the wrong path all this time—an awareness he had, in truth, had for quite some time.
Yet he could not even find where the road back was.
Only after, just now, he had passed an eternal crossroads from which there was no turning back.
“Rohwinas.”
At some point, Meriana had slipped out of the annex and naturally nestled into Rohwinas’s arms.
He felt the softness of her warm, fragile body.
Rohwinas gently stroked Meriana’s hair, still not quite dry, and said quietly.
“I think it would be best for us to part.”