74.
Jaka set down the luggage.
Prien, who entered after him, slowly looked around the room.
“It’s cramped. The lighting doesn’t seem very good either.”
“Then go back.”
At the biting reply, Prien raised an impassive face and said,
“……If you behave like this, I doubt the Baron will be pleased.”
As if he had been waiting for that, Jaka twisted his lips into a smile.
“You were the one saying outsiders shouldn’t be let into the mansion so easily. I guess the story changes when it’s about you.”
“…….”
“Or are you that desperate for attention?”
“And are you not? How is working as an attendant, when it doesn’t suit you at all?”
“Who says it doesn’t suit me?”
“Did you think I wouldn’t receive a report?”
“…….”
That incident in which Jaka, drugged, had attacked a holy knight.
He had hoped it would be glossed over, but in the end, it seemed that had not happened.
“I don’t know what method you used, but on the surface, there is certainly nothing suspicious about you. However, that distinctive look in your eyes and the way you move……”
“…….”
“I’m saying that you may have hidden it well in daily life, but now that you’ve been caught once, it won’t be of much use before me.”
Jaka arched an eyebrow and replied mockingly.
“Then why don’t you go ahead and say it?”
“…….”
“Go to the Baron right now and tell her. Tell her that her loyal attendant is suspicious, and that she should throw him out immediately.”
“…….”
“But I wonder if it’ll go the way you want?”
His tone was aggressive, but Prien caught the slight tremor in Jaka’s fingertips.
Putting on a brave front over something he himself was not sure of.
That was usually the trait of those who had survived after being exposed for a long time to absurdly dangerous and cruel things.
At that moment, Prien and Jaka’s gazes turned at the same time.
Someone was stepping onto the stairs and coming up this way.
A light yet gentle gait, making almost no sound.
The two realized that they had perceived it almost simultaneously.
The topic of conversation quietly shifted.
“Is there no other room besides this one? This place is too remote.”
“There are no guest rooms besides this one, so you should just stay here.”
Just then, someone slipped their head through the half-open doorway.
It was Anastasia Roxan.
“I’ve been looking for you for ages.”
Pushing the door open a little wider, Asha entered the room.
“Why are you here?”
“Because this is the guest room.”
Jaka shrugged, then deliberately moved to Asha’s side.
As if accustomed to it, Asha replied with a relaxed expression.
“Ah, that’s true, but you won’t be staying for just a day or two, Sir Izanar. This room is too remote and cramped for you……”
“I don’t mind cramped.”
The corner of Jaka’s mouth quietly twisted upward.
Only moments ago, he had been busy nitpicking that it was cramped and had poor lighting.
In front of Asha, he played the part of a saint who found everything good and acceptable.
“By the way, that side is the direction of the bedroom where the Baron stays, is it not?”
Prien, who had already visited even the bedroom last time, had no difficulty discerning the direction.
“Ah, yes. But why do you ask?”
Prien pointed precisely to one room outside the window and said,
“Would it be possible for me to use that room?”
That room faced Asha’s room, which meant……
Jaka suddenly smiled brightly, his jaw clenched tight.
As if he felt more rage than was permissible toward the person coveting his room.
Asha, suddenly overcome by the feeling that cold sweat was about to break out, answered,
“There’s already someone staying there.”
“Is it truly impossible?”
In front of her, Prien was lowering his eyes with a slightly plaintive expression, pleading.
Right beside her stood Jaka, staring at Prien with a terrifying smile.
Asha glanced at Jaka.
Jaka’s smile could no longer hold out and was about to crack.
Asha quickly turned her head and opened her mouth.
“I really don’t think that’s possible.”
“But…… You know why I came all the way here to stay with you, Baron. I do not wish to be farther from you than necessary.”
Asha wiped her palms, which had begun to grow sweaty, against the hem of her skirt.
“But of all rooms, that one……”
To ask for it.
As if he had known in advance that it was Jaka’s room.
‘……Did he really know?’
In any case, Asha had no choice but to make a significant decision.
She closed her mouth as if hesitating for a moment, then soon said as though it were nothing.
“……There’s an empty room. Not that one. One close to my room.”
Without realizing it, Prien checked Jaka’s face.
A startled expression.
He could not know the details, but he could guess that the decision Asha had just made was extremely unusual.
Despite himself, Prien’s heart began to beat.
* * *
“She came back with her face all swollen and made us worry ourselves sick, and now you have to watch her getting along with Prien Izanar. It must be driving you mad, huh?”
“…….”
Jaka, who had been leaning in the back with his arms crossed, raised one eyebrow.
At some point, Julie had approached his side and was peeking at Jaka’s endlessly displeased face with amusement.
“What? I said what you wanted to say for you. Got a problem with that?”
“…….”
“I was right, wasn’t I?”
Julie turned her gaze in the direction Jaka had been watching all along and clicked her tongue.
Asha was standing in front of the room, talking with Prien about something.
“I’m sorry to you, but whoever it is, if it’s someone Lady Asha likes, I’m in favor.”
“…….”
“She does seem to have cried, but she doesn’t look like she feels bad, does she?”
Jaka opened his mouth.
“The room the Baron gave to that man has been empty for a long time.”
“Mm, that’s true.”
“Is it what I’m thinking?”
“And what is it that you’re thinking?”
When Julie asked back, he swallowed a sigh and lowered his gaze to his feet.
“……They said that room originally had another owner, didn’t they?”
Julie was still smiling, but her eyes had sunk before anyone knew it.
“Well, from the time this mansion was built, the purpose of that room was clear. It was the residence for the wife of the mansion’s master.”
“…….”
“And now that room is the one Lady Asha personally refurbished years ago for the person who would stay there.”
“…….”
“Yes, that’s right. The room that bastard used.”
Julie said only that, then closed her mouth.
The closest room, facing the residence Asha used across the corridor.
But after that day four years ago, the room had never been opened again.
“Lady Asha has given that room to that man now.”
“…….”
“What do you think that means?”
After a long silence, Jaka replied.
“Doesn’t it mean nothing?”
“Do you really think that?”
Jaka let out a bitter, hollow laugh.
“You’re not the only one who knows the Baron.”
The time he had known her was short, but even so, he could be certain.
Because, at least for that time, he had spent every moment of it getting to know her.
Looking back, his memories were filled with nothing but that woman.
That was why he could say it.
There was still no one in Asha’s heart.
“If it means anything at all.”
“……”
“It would only mean that bastard Rohwinas no longer holds even the slightest meaning in the Baroness’s heart.”
Julie asked as if to confirm.
“How can you be sure that has nothing to do with Sir Izanar?”
“Why should I have to explain that?”
A chilling gaze fell upon Julie.
“And in front of you, no less?”
For a moment, Julie flinched in surprise and hunched her shoulders.
Jaka turned his gaze away.
Only then did Julie, looking slightly bewildered, rub the back of her neck.
Just then, Asha, who had met Jaka’s eyes, approached them.
Julie decided to take the hint and step aside.
Jaka waited quietly until Asha arrived before him.
“Jaka, are you angry?”
And he watched as Asha peered at his face, her eyes shifting about.
Once, that peaceful concern of hers had pleased him.
Because though she was quite unfamiliar with others, he had always been the exception.
But…….
Would it have been better if he had realized sooner that that was all it was?
“Does it bother you a lot? But it’s really nothing. There are circumstances.”
Her tone was soothing.
But behind that kindness was also a heartlessness that did not consider, not even for a moment, the possibility that Jaka might not accept the situation.
Only now did he notice it.
Because he had been feeling a subtle satisfaction from holding every little action of hers in the palm of his hand as he pleased.
He was someone who could wipe Asha’s cheek, but could not grasp it.
He could see to Asha’s meals, see to her bed, straighten her clothes, but
he could not fall asleep with her in that bed, nor could he be the one to take those clothes off and bury his breath against her skin.
Because he was an attendant.
Because the reason he could use a good room, associate with Asha without formality, and reveal his fondness as he pleased was, in the end, only because Asha allowed him to do so.
‘Due to unavoidable circumstances, for the time being, he will be staying with us at our estate…….’
‘I have heard much about you. I look forward to being in your care.’
Only after realizing that the specialness he thought was his alone was merely a light kindness anyone could enjoy in some other form…….
“Baroness.”
“Mm, tell me.”
Jaka thought he would rather have been blind.
Drunk on expectation and fantasy, believing that the day would come when this woman would love him,
he wished he could at least pretend to be mad and try holding her once.
Jaka knew.
That he was a coward.
A pathetic and base one, at that.
He slowly lowered and tilted his head, staring intently at Asha.
A bright light entered Asha’s eyes as she blinked in puzzlement, unable to read his intent.
Even seeing just that made his heart tremble.
Asha lifted her heels slightly and patted Jaka’s shoulder.
As if soothing him.
“Don’t be angry. All right?”
After that, she paused with a slightly awkward and embarrassed expression.
Then she reached toward Jaka’s head.
Feeling that slow, careful hand stroking him, Jaka’s shadowed eyes shone quietly.
The next moment.
With his head drooping like a docile beast, Jaka smiled faintly.
“Why are you laughing?”
“Because I like it.”
Asha looked sheepish.
“This is…… something you only do for me, right?”
“Hm?”
“Make it that way. Please?”
Jaka gently drew over Asha’s hand, which had been tangled in his hair, and pressed his lips to the tips of her fingers.
Asha startled and pulled her hand away, but…….
She did not get angry or say anything.
Only her large, round golden eyes trembled wildly, holding nothing but him.
So, for now…….
For now, he could endure it.
Jaka smiled crookedly, wearing his usual mischievous grin.
“Then you promised.”