69.
But Prien, who had been holding on to my arm the entire time, suddenly yanked me back.
I staggered and sank back down onto the bed.
His eyes, damp from the fever, barely opened as he looked at me.
“It’s all right…….”
So he was telling me not to go.
“All right.”
I said it firmly, even nodding so he could see clearly.
Then I slowly drew back his sweat-soaked collar.
He was wearing a very plain, thin shirt that looked as though it was meant to be worn beneath his priestly robes.
But nearly all the buttons were undone, exposing his bare chest in plain view.
And there, a huge scar stretched from his collarbone all the way down to his abdomen.
Though it had completely healed by now, the area the scar covered was so large that simply looking at it came as a slight shock.
And over it…….
Something like a faint, intricate pattern was glowing black.
Each time that pattern wrapped around his body and contracted as if to bind his chest tight, Prien trembled.
‘Is it a curse?’
How many priests are there here right now? And none of them could undo this?
When he’s in this much…… pain?
I looked down at him, my feelings tangled.
Looking closely, I could see scratches and scabs here and there.
On the hand gripping my arm were marks where it had been torn open and sewn back together.
It was the hand that held a sword.
I remembered something he had once said.
Hadn’t he said he was glad that he, and no one else, could be of help to me?
I still couldn’t say I understood it properly, but I felt as though I knew what kind of emotion that was.
Because having someone suffering right before your eyes and being able to do nothing but watch was fairly agonizing.
His breathing, which had been coming in intermittent tremors, gradually began to ease.
Without a word, I wiped away his sweat.
He panted softly, then lifted unfocused eyes to look at me.
It was surely a physiological reaction.
But a single tear ran down from the corner of his eye as he lay curled up on the bed.
Pale cheeks, beautiful eyelashes, features so harmonious they seemed almost sacred.
His face was still so beautiful I could hardly look away, but
there was no color in his blank gaze as he stared upward.
I lowered my eyes, holding my breath.
From him, I felt a deep weariness that no one else could bear in his place.
And an even deeper emptiness beyond compare.
Though he was more beautiful than anyone, he was like a bare branch, broken after losing its roots.
Throb.
At that moment, I felt a stabbing pain in my left eye.
‘Why has it been like this since earlier?’
As I forced my finely trembling eye to blink and pressed down the pain,
a faint light rose at the edge of my vision.
It was light streaming from Prien’s hand, the one holding my arm.
The moment I realized that, I sprang up from the bed.
His hand, having lost its grip on my arm, fell limply over the edge of the bed.
I bit my lip.
“What did you just…… do?”
Prien moved his bloodless lips and answered.
“Your eye seemed to hurt…….”
So he had used divine power.
“Do you even realize that you yourself are…… in pain right now?”
“…….”
“When you gave me divine power before, were you in this state then too?”
“No, no. This is……. It will get better soon. The curse-breaking also takes time, so…….”
“…….”
“I’m…… sorry…….”
To think I was getting angry at a sick person.
I calmed my roughened breathing and swept my hair back.
Prien awkwardly raised himself and apologized in a low voice.
“I should have let you return before that……. I misjudged.”
His cheeks were slightly flushed, but if anything, he looked better, as though some color had returned compared to a moment ago.
“……Lie back down.”
I reached out and rubbed away with my fingertip the trail where the tear had fallen earlier.
His eyes blinked of their own accord.
He seemed not to understand, so I simply stayed silent and this time wiped the half-dried sweat from his face with a handkerchief.
“But…….”
“It’s all right.”
When I wiped his nape, I saw him flinch in surprise and gulp.
“Stay still. I’m wiping off your sweat.”
“…….”
His Adam’s apple bobbed several times like that.
‘So now he has enough presence of mind to care about this? Earlier…….’
Feeling slightly piqued, I grumbled inwardly, then stopped even that.
“Isn’t an inquisitor supposed to be someone incredibly impressive and frightening?”
“…….”
His eyes shifted, as though he had no idea how he was supposed to answer.
I sighed and went on.
“Then why are you so…….”
He caught the hand holding the handkerchief as it moved down below his nape.
“It’s all right.”
“…….”
Our eyes met.
I quietly withdrew my hand.
“More importantly, where on earth did you get a curse like this?”
“This time, we destroyed one of the heretics’ hidden strongholds.”
“And?”
“Usually, at each stronghold, explosive devices meant to leave no clues behind or curse barriers are often discovered.”
Prien lay obediently and answered each question I asked.
“Were a lot of people hurt this time? From what I saw earlier, that paladin looked perfectly fine.”
“Mm…….”
Prien delayed his answer again.
Then, when his eyes met mine, he smiled faintly.
‘Does he think I’ll fall for his beauty trap again?’
Keeping my expression stiff, I asked again in a hard tone.
“So you were the only one who ended up like this?”
“…….”
“Doesn’t that make you think anything?”
“……Not particularly. Nothing…….”
I let out a sigh and folded my arms.
As if it were his first time being treated like someone who had done something wrong, he kept watching my expression.
“What do you think it means when the people who moved with you came back unharmed, but you alone were injured?”
“……A futile death…….”
He spoke slowly.
“It means it was not repeated.”
‘Repeated?’
At that moment, he immediately went on to ask.
“Are you worried about me?”
“Did you think I wouldn’t be?”
His eyes glimmered quietly.
This was better, at least. Better than those eyes from a moment ago, eyes that had seemed far too desolate and empty.
“It’s not as if only lovers in love can worry about each other. Friends can. Colleagues can.”
I spoke gently, as if admonishing him.
“Even if not that, even if it’s merely someone whose face you recognize, someone you’ve only exchanged a few words with, it’s natural to worry if they’re suffering as though they might die.”
“……Are you, by any chance, talking about me?”
He asked, looking a little sullen.
“Anyway, do you think I could feel nothing after hearing that one day you’d suddenly died…… or been badly hurt?”
“…….”
“Besides, whether you’re in pain or not, I wouldn’t even know, just like now.”
In truth, that was exactly the extent of our relationship.
Prien blinked.
“What I’m trying to say is.”
I brushed the damp hair pricking his eyes back behind his ear.
“At least until I find the antidote and bring it to you, stay safe. ……And don’t get hurt.”
I went on.
“Just as I’m not running away and am taking responsibility for your feelings in whatever way I can, shouldn’t you take some responsibility too?”
I did not avoid Prien’s gaze as he stared intently at me.
……At the very least, he shouldn’t die while still liking me, should he?
I had the right to ask for that much, didn’t I?
“Even if what we have between us isn’t something grand like being lovers.”
Even just as we are.
So.
“Is my life…… in your hands?”
The voice that asked it clearly carried a strong note of reluctance.
But the moment I lifted my head and met his face, I was briefly at a loss for words.
To think the one he was gazing at as though bewitched, waiting for an answer, was none other than me.
It was so embarrassing I wanted to squirm.
But to me, in this situation, nothing mattered more than getting this answer from him.
“Th……at’s right. If it’s…… in my hands?”
He heard my answer and smiled.
Then he promised.
“Yes. I will do that.”
‘Phew…….’
I let out a sigh of relief inwardly, then narrowed my eyes.
“You’re not…… I mean, by any chance. You’re not terminally ill or anything…….”
“Pardon?”
“It’s nothing like that, right? You’re not unfairly making promises to me while knowing that, are you?”
“N-no, I’m not.”
“Then that’s fine. No, don’t get up. Keep lying down. Where does a patient think he’s going, trying to get up all the time?”
As I fired off the nagging words that sounded so familiar, I flinched for a moment.
‘This is…… what Julie always says to me, isn’t it?’
Forcing that sudden realization out of my head, I made up my mind once again.
I would never exchange another word with that paladin bastard who had needlessly made me uneasy with his meaningful remarks.
Prien smiled faintly again.
“……Close your eyes. Get some more sleep.”
I responded instinctively like that, then shook my head.
“No, wait. Get up for a second. Change your clothes before you sleep.”
“Pardon?”
All of a sudden, Prien grabbed his own collar and pulled it closed over his chest.
Then he stared intently at me.
“……I never said I’d change you myself. I’m telling you to change before you sleep because your clothes are damp with sweat.”
When I seemed to snap, Prien turned his head the other way.
But his raised cheekbones told me he was smiling.
My lips twitched as I glared at the back of his head, then I let out a deep sigh.
‘It’ll be all right, won’t it?’
Without realizing it, I touched my left eye……. Then lowered my hand.
‘What was that vision earlier?’