55.
The former imperial princess was right.
She was, but…….
‘I’m extremely uncomfortable right now, you know?’
I shot her a plaintive look, begging her to just let me leave, but the former imperial princess stood firm, as though she had sensed nothing at all.
“I see no need to be so passive when it comes to receiving an apology.”
Th-that was true, too.
“Nor is there any need to avoid it simply because you are not accustomed to it.”
……She thought I was avoiding it because I wasn’t used to apologies?
I immediately denied it.
“That is not the case.”
“Ah. It isn’t? Then all the better.”
The former imperial princess looked at the count once more.
The intent behind her gaze was unmistakable.
The flesh under the count’s chin trembled, as if he had clenched his teeth.
“……I shall offer a formal apology. But before that, I would like you to state the house you belong to and your name.”
At a glance, he looked full of intention to secretly make trouble for me later, once the former imperial princess was no longer around.
Even if that wasn’t the case, I was in an awkward position for all sorts of reasons when it came to revealing my identity.
‘This is exactly why I tried to leave quickly.’
As my gaze wavered helplessly, the former imperial princess’s voice came again.
“Why would her house and name be necessary for an apology?”
“…….”
Tremble, tremble. Tremble, tremble.
The former imperial princess’s complexion had remained the same from beginning to end, but the count alone was trembling without mercy.
“……At the very least, should she not remove her mask and face me directly for me to offer a sincere apology?”
The count stubbornly tried to dig out my identity.
And so, in the end.
Everyone’s gaze came to rest on my masked face.
Now that things had come to this, everyone seemed curious about who I really was.
‘Hmm. What should I do?’
I saw Daena, who had been watching the situation with an anxious expression all this time, very smoothly and secretly step backward into the crowd.
Perhaps worried that I might use her as an excuse, her skill at slipping away was impressively swift.
No wonder she had been able to climb over a baron’s wall late at night.
I lightly steadied my breath.
And then…….
I let my voice crumble, like someone terribly uneasy.
“Ah, well…… sob.”
The former imperial princess reacted at once.
“Benefactor, what is the matter?”
“It’s just…… Grand Madam. When people see my face, they all…….”
“They all?”
“They step back. Sometimes, some even spit at me…….”
It was something that had actually happened.
Not long after “that incident” occurred, there had been people who spat in front of me and walked away whenever we happened to meet.
“When I sit down, everyone gets up and moves to another seat.”
This was also true.
It had happened to me many times.
“They curse loudly, or treat me like I’m invisible. They just…… shoulder past me.”
Of course.
This, too, was the unembellished truth of what I had experienced.
“They say I make them sick…… And they call me a d-devil…….”
This had happened rather recently.
Among the crowd, I saw someone’s shoulders flinch conspicuously.
The low whispers of the people reached my ears.
“Surely not?”
“Does she have a terrible scar on her face?”
“It seems so…… My goodness…… So that’s why she specifically chose to attend a masquerade ball…….”
“I was wondering why she had come wearing such an ugly mask.”
……I wore the mask simply because I liked it.
In any case, clutching the rattling edge of the mask, I murmured as if pleading.
“D-do I…… really have to take off the mask? ……Shall I?”
Several people shook their heads without realizing it.
“Oh dear, how pitiful.”
“It’s not as if an apology must be given face-to-face…… Especially when she doesn’t want to.”
“She seems like such a good person. How did this happen…….”
“If a young lady had such circumstances, of course she would not want to show her face.”
Thanks to that, I even heard something that made my ears perk up.
‘I seem like a good person?’
There were many people around me who would strike their own mouths once they found out who I was.
“Sob. Hic.”
When I hunched my shoulders and bowed my head like someone dispirited, a few people approached me and offered comfort.
“Are you all right, my lady?”
“Take heart.”
“You were very brave. This is not your fault.”
“It is not as though you did it on purpose.”
There was warmth in the hands they placed around my shoulders.
That was probably kindness.
“…….”
I remained hunched over and gave no response.
As if trying to lighten the atmosphere, someone clapped two or three times to draw everyone’s attention.
“Now, is this not good news for House Erdel as well? On a day like this, a life was saved safely without bloodshed, ha ha ha.”
“Now that you mention it, that’s true.”
“It must be a precious connection!”
An atmosphere had formed in which everyone hoped to let the matter pass around this point.
‘In any case, I didn’t lie.’
As I was secretly letting out a sigh of relief, I felt someone staring at me.
Under the former imperial princess’s gaze, I quietly touched the mask over my face.
For some reason, it felt as though she were looking at my face beneath it.
Pushed by the silent pressure of the people around him, the count hesitantly approached me.
“My lady, I was discourteous…… Will you forgive me now?”
Then he muttered as though chewing on the words.
But his manner, at least, was perfectly polite.
Watching him, I was overcome by a strange feeling.
I had been about to say that it was fine and leave it at that, but I closed my half-open mouth again.
After breathing slowly, I said,
“Ah, yes.”
And then I shut my mouth.
Everyone seemed to accept it well enough.
There was even someone who lightly patted my shoulder as if in encouragement.
‘That’s it?’
I felt dazed.
……I had received an apology.
And so easily, at that.
“…….”
Once the daze faded, an inexplicable emptiness spread through me.
The gentle touch I felt on my shoulder.
The generous gazes.
Even the mild atmosphere surrounding me.
Overwhelmed by the unfamiliar sight, my fingertips trembled.
I slowly gave a name to the emotion I had already felt.
This was disappointment.
All I had hidden was the single truth that I was me.
As it turned out, my very existence was worth less than a scar that had horribly disfigured a face.
I had suspected as much, which was why I had steered the situation this way.
Why was it only to me…….
Was I really that much…….
Dizziness rose in me.
Because of the people who smiled gently when our eyes met.
At that moment, someone’s voice rang out.
“Is there any reason to remain here any longer?”
Beneath the sunlight, a silver-gray half mask gleamed.
Below it, the closed lips and line of the jaw were expressionless.
As if waking from a dream, people hurriedly began to move.
The one responsible for scattering the people this way and that with nothing more than a single flat remark cast his gaze toward me for a moment.
There was enough distance between us that I couldn’t be certain our eyes had met.
I watched his red hair sway over his forehead, then turned my head away.
“Where are you going?”
But it seemed that slipping away safely was, at least for me, a distant prospect.
Because the former imperial princess was standing in front of me as though blocking my path.
“I was going to return to the party hall.”
“Talk with me for a moment. I can’t simply let my benefactor go like this.”
“I….”
The former imperial princess stepped closer. A faint scent of mint reached me.
“You’re Anastasia Roxan, aren’t you?”
And so, only now that this moment had arrived, I admitted it.
Believing I could deceive everyone’s eyes with a mere mask had been nothing more than my own delusion.
The former imperial princess turned and began to walk.
After hesitating briefly, I quietly followed her.
The place she led me to was a small reception room prepared for guests.
It was in a detached building, so there was hardly any sign of people around.
I swallowed hard, then bravely stepped into the room.
I could not sense any particular hostility from the former imperial princess.
Before long, the fragrance of black tea filled the room.
The former imperial princess personally pushed a steaming teacup in front of me and smiled languidly.
“Are you still not going to take off the mask?”
“If Your Ladyship permits, I would like to keep wearing it.”
“Very well, then.”
Her tone suggested that it would not change who I was.
I did not react.
“You’re the same as ever, Baroness.”
“…….”
The same as ever. Wasn’t that something one could only say if they had seen me before?
“Do you know me?”
At my low question, the expression gradually faded from the former imperial princess’s face.
Her gaze moved as though recalling a memory from the past.
“That day, I….”
And the story the former imperial princess revealed was a memory somewhat unfamiliar to me.
The former imperial princess had married.
And before that, she had become pregnant.
From the moment the rumor began to spread, she had already expected that the world would be full of opinions about who the child’s real father was.
Her belly grew larger by the day, and the wedding proceeded.
And then….
‘He threw himself off a cliff?’
‘Good heavens.’
Rumors followed that the newlywed groom had thrown himself from a cliff.
Because the rumor involved the imperial family, no less, everyone watched their tongue in front of the former imperial princess.
They did not dare let it show.
But….
How could she not know?
The subtle gazes that poured over her whenever she appeared in public were the truth itself.
Somehow, she felt exhausted.
After dismissing everyone, she was sitting alone in the garden when raindrops began to fall.
Seated beneath a tree, the former imperial princess remained where she was instead of seeking shelter.
But the rain grew heavier and heavier.
By the time the raindrops falling through the leaves began to dampen the former imperial princess’s shoulders,
someone came running over in a fluster.
Was it a maid? The former imperial princess thought of the maid from the Britear family whom she had brought with her.
The maid who found her difficult and avoided her.
But the person who appeared was someone she had never seen before.
A woman with a rosy face that still held traces of youth, and sparkling eyes.