4.
Our eyes met, with no way to avoid it.
He was not surprised.
He seemed like a person whose expression never changed at all.
His gaze did not look as though it wanted to say anything, nor did it show any sign of trying to read something from me.
Only those pitch-black eyes, fixed on me.
As the time he spent looking at me grew longer, the other nobles gathered around him also turned this way.
Left with no choice, I slowly moved toward him.
Since it had come to this, I might as well greet him.
It was only after taking a step that I realized I was rather drunk.
But I could hardly turn back now.
Calmly, I stopped in front of him.
He stared intently at me as I stood before him.
Beneath the chandelier light, seeing him up close gave a different impression.
Rather than authoritative, he somehow felt rigidly principled.
I lowered my head slightly and opened my mouth.
“It is an honor to meet…….”
“Baroness.”
As if he had been waiting, he turned fully toward me.
“To see you like this…… is rather deeply moving.”
His voice was deep and calm, ill-suited to his stiff face.
He knew my face.
Even so, I introduced myself first.
“I am Anastasia Roxan.”
“I am called Isitan Gladineer. I would like you to address me comfortably, Baroness.”
The nobles surrounding us were acting strangely.
Did dukes usually not introduce themselves?
“Thank you for inviting me.”
As expected, shocked gasps burst out here and there at those words.
They must have been quite stunned, having wondered who on earth had brought that bomb into the banquet hall, only to find it was none other than the guest of honor himself.
“It is I who should be thanking you.”
Was I finally going to learn the whole story behind this incident?
“For what…….”
“You were of great help in bringing the war to a swift end.”
“……Pardon?”
It was something I had not expected at all.
Something I had not even hoped to hear.
As he watched my mouth slowly fall open, the faintest smile hovered at his lips and vanished.
“I knew that it was you, Baroness, who trained and sent us the carrier pigeons and hawks. I apologize for commending you so belatedly.”
“……Not at all.”
“What on earth does that mean?”
One noble could not hold back and cut in.
“The fact that you handed every business over to someone else four years ago and changed the name on record does not erase your merits.”
But the duke continued speaking while still looking at me.
“I heard you had no choice but to step back due to personal circumstances. That your investors and patrons withdrew all their funds at once.”
He knew more than I had expected.
Even things that would have been difficult to know simply by liking gossip.
“Have you paid off all your debts?”
“Thank you for your concern. ……The debts have already been paid in full.”
“You must have suffered.”
To be honest, those words made me feel a little awkward. They did not seem like words I should hear from a man who had returned after six years of crossing the line between life and death on the battlefield.
“It is a well-known story that the rebels joined hands with the heretics. The fact that information was disrupted and skirmishes broke out everywhere should also be common knowledge to any citizen of the Empire.”
“…….”
I had no choice but to think of Rohwinas Kanesion.
At the time, by staying naturally at his side as the son of a ducal house, I was often able to come into contact with information about the war situation.
Perhaps, rather, it was because I did not know very much that I had been able to step forward without hesitation, saying I would help.
If the relay couriers were blocked, if the land routes were unsafe because of the heretics’ spies, then could we not use the path through the sky?
Unexpectedly, I had a talent for it.
Taming birds had not been difficult for me.
The pretty pigeons once used only to exchange letters were transformed in my hands into carrier pigeons for missions, birds that would not flee no matter what commotion broke out.
And unlike me, who had been forced to disappear from everyone’s sight when that terrible potion incident occurred,
on the battlefield, the usefulness of carrier pigeons became widely known, and it successfully took root as an official imperial enterprise.
“I will say it again. You were of immense help. Thanks to you, one might say I returned alive like this.”
He reached out and lightly patted my shoulder.
“Thank you.”
“…….”
Even if they were mere words, it was praise I could not easily accept.
All the more when I considered my circumstances.
And when I considered what kind of occasion this was.
Overcome by a strange emotion, my legs trembled for no reason.
To be honest, it was partly because of the alcohol.
“But it seemed such a Baroness had not received even a single invitation, so I, despite having no connection to you, ended up inviting you myself. Will you understand?”
“……Not at all. Rather, it was an honor to be invited.”
“Then enjoy the banquet at your leisure. I will separately speak to His Majesty about your merits.”
Wondering whether he was sincere, I gazed quietly into his eyes.
Truly? Or was it mere praise?
Without learning anything at all, I staggered slightly and returned to my seat.
The duke had not mentioned Rohwinas even once.
If he knew that much about me, he must have easily heard the scandal that had spread all over the capital.
He spoke only of facts he had personally confirmed.
He neither diminished those facts with things like reputation and scandal, nor treated me with prejudice.
I thought he was a decent person.
I also thought that coming here today had been the right choice.
I knew the nobles were glancing this way and murmuring something among themselves, but it did not particularly bother me.
Honestly, from the moment the matter with Rohwinas began spreading out of control, had they not been the very ones who made every excuse to withdraw their funds, interfered with my work, obstructed me, and finally forced me to give everything up and collapse?
They had never had the right to add a word to the matter the duke had mentioned in the first place.
My parting with Rohwinas had not been a simple breakup.
It had been a disaster.
Because my dream had collapsed, and my life had been thrown wholesale into the mire.
I still remembered.
The training ground splashed with filth.
All those many birds that had flown away overnight beyond the wire fence they had slashed to rags with knives.
The dunning notices that had flown endlessly to the mansion.
Even the servants who stole things and ran away one by one.
I had to cancel the newspaper subscription I had received every day.
Because I could not read it.
It felt as though the whole world had joined in on this malicious game.
Rohwinas left, leaving me behind in that mire.
And I, with my whole body sunk into that mire, had to struggle alone to prove my innocence.
“…….”
In any case, it was all in the past.
I drained my glass, but I could not really taste what it was.
So I drank even harder.
My stomach churned, and my head felt hot.
It was not a bad feeling, but that did not mean I was simply happy either.
“Hey.”
How long had I been like that?
Someone abruptly held out a tray in front of me.
On it were piled all kinds of desserts.
“What is this for?”
“……You’ll ruin your stomach.”
When I lifted my head, a servant who still had a youthful look stood there.
It was not as though I had thrown a tantrum and asked him to bring it, yet the servant’s face was fiercely twisted as he answered.
After briefly wondering whether I should trust that face or the words he had said to me, I answered.
“Did you bring it over on purpose because you were worried I’d ruin my stomach?”
“Am I crazy?”
“…….”
“…….”
My mouth, which had been ready to thank him if he said yes, closed again helplessly.
What is this brat doing now?
“Then take it back.”
At my lukewarm reply, the attendant’s pupils shook violently.
He stood there groaning, unable to do this or that, as if someone had forcibly dragged him in front of me.
“You don’t like this?”
That was the question he asked.
I took a fresh look at the attendant’s face.
For an imperial attendant, his face was noticeably too smooth and polished.
The same went for his unnecessarily fierce gaze.
If he went around with his eyes open that insolently, he should have been beaten to a pulp long ago.
His fine, pale-blue hair fluttered softly, yet it gleamed strangely beneath the bright lights of the banquet hall.
It was hair that brought to mind the summer sky these days.
Besides, even though he wore the same attendant’s uniform, on him it looked as neat as if he were a young nobleman in tailored clothes.
His sharp, weary complexion, coupled with his sensitive features, gave him a cynical air.
In many ways, he did not look like someone with the temperament to serve as an attendant in the imperial palace.
“I don’t really like sweet things.”
At my answer, he even swallowed a curse between his teeth.
“Wait here.”
Then this time, he appeared after sweeping onto a tray all kinds of snacks with nutty or bitter flavors.
“Now it’s fine, right?”
“……What are you trying to do right now?”
When I stared at him, the attendant suddenly averted his eyes and burst out in irritation.
“Can’t you just eat some?”
At first, I thought he was acting that way because he was angry.
But the longer my gaze lingered, the redder the attendant’s nape became.
Clenching his fists while trying hard to pretend otherwise, the attendant glared at me.
“What is it?”
“…….”
“Why, why are you staring?”
Without answering, I took the tray from his hands and set it on the table.
Then I picked up one of the snacks and put it in my mouth.
“Thanks. I’ll enjoy it.”
I liked both the bitter taste that touched the tip of my tongue and the crisp texture.
And then.
When I suddenly raised my head again.
I nearly flinched.
Gone was the guy who, just moments ago, had been blushing because he did not know what to do.
A pair of persistent, cold gray eyes was staring at me.
It had truly been a long time since I had felt as though I were being pierced through by a gaze alone.
“You’re Baron Roxan, right?”
I was a little dumbfounded.
“Then did you look after me without even knowing who I was?”
“As if. You’re the disgrace of society who got hit with backlash from the love potion incident, the one everyone avoids as if avoiding a plague.”
“…….”
Since he did not particularly deny the part about looking after me, I decided to let it slide, if only because it was cute.
It was absolutely not because I had nothing to say and was simply glossing over it.
“If you know so well, why did you bother talking to me?”
“Am I not allowed to?”
“Well. It’s not as if you aren’t.”
“Then eat some more. Would that amount even register in your stomach?”
“I think you nag a bit too much.”
Even as I said that, I did as he told me and put another cookie in my mouth.
“But why don’t you like sweet things?”
“What, is there some reason I’m not allowed to dislike sweet things?”
“Because you seem to like sweet alcohol.”
“…….”
“This is fruit wine too.”
He said it while tapping with a finger the nearly empty bottle beside me.