44.
Perhaps because he was of such precious, lofty status that nothing in his life had ever failed to go his way,
there were times when Rohwinas, if something crossed him, could not restrain himself like this and would lose his head a little.
“I don’t understand what could possibly keep you so busy.”
At times like that, emotion would rarely seep even into his tone.
In the past, whenever he was like this, everyone would look for me first, because I was the only one who could soothe him.
But now…….
I scoffed.
“What did you say?”
“I said I don’t know what could keep you so busy when all you have is a single title that’s nothing but an empty shell.”
“…….”
Had he not been satisfied with snapping at me in front of Margaret last time?
Why was he picking another fight?
Was it so unbearable to see his “shameful past” moving in and out before the Duke’s eyes?
I rubbed my temple at the headache rising within me, then lowered my hand.
“It seems that advice you gave me that day wasn’t enough.”
The voice I heard from my own mouth was strangely cold.
“……Advice?”
“Didn’t you advise me last time, Count? To meet a suitable man and get married.”
“…….”
‘So I am telling you to stop your foolishness now, find a man on your level, and get married.’
After running his mouth like that, he had suddenly gone silent.
“So I’ve been busy trying to do just that. Is there a problem?”
“A suitable man?”
At last, Rohwinas sneered.
“Do you think the Duke is suited to the likes of you…… dare you?”
It seemed he had decided to discard even the bare pretense of courtesy now.
His raw words lodged in me like daggers.
Of course, I replied without batting an eye.
“That is for the Duke to decide.”
“…….”
“What does it have to do with you?”
“Is it a potion?”
I frowned.
“What are you talking about?”
“I’m asking if you’re trying to use a potion again this time!”
At least this time, the one swept up by emotion and losing his composure first was Rohwinas.
So now I no longer had any need to endure…….
“Or have you already used it? Is that why the Duke is acting like that? Even after things have come to this, you still haven’t come to your senses—”
“What exactly did you see that makes you say I used a potion?”
I shoved Rohwinas hard by the shoulder as he came right up to me and poured out his vicious words.
The moment he was about to be pushed back, he braced himself and did not move as I wanted.
I glared at him.
But that action seemed only to further provoke Rohwinas’s temper.
Under his gaze, I felt as though the fine hairs on the nape of my neck and along my back were standing on end.
Because of the heat surging all the way to the top of my head, I barely managed not to step back.
He was a man who could become as cruel as he wished.
It was just that in the past, he had simply chosen not to show that side of himself in front of me.
So now.
I clenched my fist tight.
“What kind of person am I to you, exactly? Was the person you knew as me really only that much?”
“Why bring up the past?”
Rohwinas spat the words through his teeth.
“You started it first.”
“Anastasia.”
Rohwinas grabbed my arm as I tried to turn away and pulled me back.
Our upper bodies drew close.
“You think you’re standing there safe and sound right now simply because you were lucky.”
“…….”
“Do you really think so? That you survived after touching a ducal house because of luck?”
“I never touched them!”
My resistance had no effect on Rohwinas whatsoever.
“Why don’t you understand that things only ended at this level because I was the one who drank the potion? You aren’t that stupid, are you?”
“So are you saying I should thank you?”
“Do you think this time will be like back then? Isitan Gladineir is not that simple a man!”
“Enough. Who asked you? I don’t want to hear it!”
“That bastard won’t be like me. He will never forgive you!”
I could not hold back a laugh of derision.
“And you forgave me?”
“I told you. The fact that it ended at this much is already more than enough—”
“Enough of a mercy? In the end, you and your family are exactly the same.”
“…….”
“Can you say you were sincere? That wish of yours back then, when you said you wanted to leave the ducal house—was that truly sincere?”
I heard Rohwinas grind his teeth.
I lifted my gaze from his jaw, where the muscles were trembling faintly, and met his eyes.
His two eyes, faintly bloodshot, were glaring at me with a terrible intensity.
“So are you satisfied now?”
“…….”
I forcibly pried away Rohwinas’s hand, which was still gripping my arm tightly.
As I rubbed my arm, which had gone pale from lack of blood, I asked as though murmuring.
“What is it that makes you feel so wronged?”
Before turning away, I gave Rohwinas one last glance.
“You’re the one who left me.”
“…….”
Rohwinas gave no answer.
This was why I had wanted to avoid conversation.
On the day we broke up, our ending had been decided forever.
A relationship that ended without anyone knowing what had been real and what had been false was like a hopelessly tangled skein of thread.
In the end, there was no choice but to cut it all away.
When I went around behind the building to head for the back door, the aide was standing behind the bushes.
“…….”
“…….”
I thought this official residence might need to pay a little more attention to its landscaping.
Unless bushes that could easily hide a whole person had some other use.
‘Did he hear everything?’
Our eyes met.
‘He heard everything.’
Without hiding my displeasure, I raised one eyebrow.
“What is it?”
“His Grace has called a carriage, and told you to wait a moment and take it back.”
“Did he order you to do anything else?”
“Pardon?”
“I was wondering if he also ordered you to eavesdrop.”
The aide’s complexion changed at once.
“Do not insult His Grace.”
“Let me say just one thing. Whether you hate me, dislike me, or despise me, I honestly don’t care at all.”
“…….”
“I will do what I have to do, and you had better not get in the way.”
I swept my hair back carelessly.
My sweat-damp hair felt clammy.
The day was already hot, and since I kept running into people who pissed me off, it felt like the heat would not leave me.
“Understood? When the time comes, I’ll remove myself from your precious His Grace the Duke on my own.”
I struck the aide’s arm and jerked my chin.
‘I trust you understood that much.’
The aide, who normally would have answered back word for word, was strangely quiet.
‘Well, all’s well that ends well.’
“So where is the carriage?”
“……Please follow me.”
* * *
It was afternoon, in the middle of the meal.
Bang!
At the heavy thud against the dining table, one of the servants dropped a fork and clutched at their chest.
“Goodness, you startled me.”
I pressed strength into the fist I had slammed onto the table and said in a low voice,
“……Sorry.”
Then, suddenly unable to contain my anger again, I struck the table with my fist and shot to my feet.
Jaka, who had been helping serve the meal beside me, let out a sigh, took hold of my shoulder, and pushed me back down into my seat.
“Why don’t you get angry after you finish eating?”
“I’m pissed.”
“You already look more than pissed enough.”
“I said I’m pissed.”
Jaka, who did not answer for a moment, suddenly tilted his head toward me and said quietly,
“Shall I go beat him up a little?”
“Are you crazy? You’ll get dragged off and beaten to a pulp.”
As I said it and thought it over carefully, it felt strange, because that did not seem particularly likely.
When I recalled the way Jaka had moved even while drugged, trying to manhandle a holy knight, the one getting beaten would instead be…….
“Wait. And how do you know who to beat up?”
“Is there anyone else it could be?”
Jaka’s eyes gleamed meaningfully as he said that.
Standing with the sunlight at his back and making that kind of expression—somehow, it even sent a chill down my spine.
And so my thoughts, which had briefly wandered elsewhere, returned to their original track, and once again anger surged…….
Jaka snatched my twitching fist one step ahead of me and began gently rubbing it.
“Look at this. It’s turned red.”
“…….”
“Doesn’t it hurt?”
“……It doesn’t.”
Though I grumbled, I stopped tormenting only the dining table and my hand without gaining anything for it.
After finishing the meal, I rolled up my sleeves and barged into an unused storeroom.
Jaka, quick to realize that I was doing something out of character because I was chasing some clue, followed me.
After tying kerchiefs over each other’s heads and putting on face coverings side by side, we stepped into the dust-filled storeroom.
“How long has it been since this was used?”
“About four years?”
On the way back after the duke told me to look into the emblem on my own as well, I had thought it over carefully.
When it came to asking around or gathering information, there was naturally no way I could match the duke.
So I intended to try devising a path only I could find.
If so, I first had to search through my own personal memories, and for that, there really was no better method than this.
The records from the two years when I had miraculously recovered from my illness and actively engaged in social circles.
All of them had been crammed into this storeroom.
“Hah!”
When I shouted to psych myself up, Jaka clicked his tongue behind me.
Of course, that did not mean I intended to rummage through everything blindly without any standards.
“First, I’ll narrow it down by period.”
Starting with the first year.