“Lin Xiangru was a native of the State of Zhao during the Warring States period. He rose to the rank of Shangqing, and was originally a retainer of Miao Xian, the head eunuch of Zhao. He was a renowned statesman and diplomat. At a time when mighty Qin intended to annex the six states and the struggle was growing ever more acute, he relied not only on his wisdom and courage to repeatedly frustrate Qin’s schemes, but, even more rarely, possessed the magnanimity to tolerate others and put the greater good first, ‘placing the state before private grudges.’ He was a statesman of broad mind. He had fearless courage, extraordinary wisdom, a vast heart, and the moral character to place affairs of state above all else. Devoted to his country, both brave and resourceful, he feared no power, cared nothing for personal fame or gain, and always took the overall situation into account.”
Her tone paused for a moment before she said leisurely, “During the reign of King Huiwen of Zhao, he obtained the He Shi Bi from Chu. When King Zhao of Qin heard of it, he had a letter sent to the King of Zhao, expressing his willingness to exchange fifteen cities for the jade. However, Qin was strong and Zhao was weak, and Qin might not necessarily honor its promise. Thus Lin Xiangru was sent as envoy to Qin. In the end, fearing no power, he returned the jade intact to Zhao, rose to the rank of Shang Dafu, and was praised by the world.”
Lin Yan’s body suddenly shook. He heard the young girl say, “Lin Yan, do you not wish to accomplish something great like your ancestor, to leave your name in history and be remembered for all ages? You are a dissolute young master now, but that does not mean you must remain one in the future. Are you truly willing to spend your entire life muddling along, growing old beneath the name of a useless second-generation scion? You are an upright man who stands between heaven and earth—do you not have even the slightest heroic ambition? Have you never thought of bringing honor to your family? Have you never had the ambition to rise above others? Have you never longed for your clan and loved ones to be proud of you? Have you never dreamed of creating brilliance?”
“Or to put it another way—are you content? To go on accomplishing nothing like this, bullying others under the shelter of your father’s power? Do you want those disappointed eyes, eyes that hate iron for not becoming steel, eyes that think you are beyond saving, eyes that see you as trash useless to the nation, to keep looking at you like this forever? Do you want to forever gaze with envy, jealousy, and resentment at those praised by the world? Do you want to flaunt yourself before them with your unbearable inferiority, oppressing them to fill a heart that will only ever remain empty? Do you want those who climb above you by relying on their own ability to forever occupy the side of reason in the name of righteousness, and righteously lecture and rebuke you?”
Each word echoed in Lin Yan’s heart, striking against it, breaking something open, stirring his blood.
Even Qing’er, seated across from her, could not suppress the surge in her heart. Was Miss also speaking of herself?
Lin Yan’s eyes reddened. It was not because he felt understood to the point of tears, but because these words had struck straight into his heart. He was a vile silkpants—yet was it not because he wanted the gazes fixed on those more outstanding than him to fall upon him instead? After each of his actions, had he truly felt satisfied? Did he truly think this was good?
“Lin Yan, are you content?” The soft question echoed by his ear. Was he content? No, he was not! He did not want to become known throughout the world because of his bad reputation! He was a man, and he too hoped to accomplish a great undertaking of his own. He too hoped to be like Lian Jun. He opposed Lian Jun at every turn—was it not precisely because he was jealous that Lian Jun was constantly praised by others? Even by his father.
The restaurant was silent. Only the young girl’s words lingered on the second floor. Lian Jun stood to the side, staring at her in astonishment. She… what was she saying?
“No, I am not content!” Lin Yan abruptly raised his head, his eyes burning. This was the first time he had ever felt such a thing, and she had given it to him. If not for her, he would have continued muddling through life!