After two hours of private tutoring had ended, a room that felt utterly emptied out.
Tick— tick— Time flowing as if chopped into pieces.
A fragmented space.
“…….”
For some reason, in that hollow place, Sylvia was looking at the homework Dekulain had left behind. Revisions for magic circuits, a vocabulary book of the fairy language filled with countless homonyms, various math problems said to help with computational ability…….
Staring at them quietly, she muttered softly.
“I’m not scared.”
The Dekulain right now was a fake anyway. Until she drew the real one, everything was fake. All of it was a ‘process,’ not a result, and nothing more than trial and error.
So she didn’t have to be scared of him disappearing. She didn’t have to fear parting.
……Chirp chirp.
Suddenly, Nalssendori chirped softly as it approached and sat on her shoulder. Gomtaeng Panda similarly whined and climbed onto her lap.
“Yeah.”
Sylvia spoke to these two children worried about her.
That there was no need to worry. That in the world she had made, nothing would change.
“I’m fine.”
She wouldn’t be shaken by something like a fake. Making that resolution, Sylvia began solving Dekulain’s homework. It was somehow contradictory that a fake could teach her, but anyway.
“I won’t be shaken by something like a fake. Rather, it’s funny.”
Sylvia forced a smile.
“She said I was pitiful.”
Petting Gomtaeng Panda’s head, she muttered softly.
“Even though I’m the one who pities you.”
* * *
I was returning to the guild room with Al Ros’s scarecrow. The scarecrow was a combat doll that looked quite well-made to the 「Naked Eye」, so there seemed to be no need to worry about ambushes.
—Professor.
Suddenly, the scarecrow moved its mouth.
—I have been thinking.
Each time it spoke, straw flew out along with its voice.
—Is this how you attack Sylvia? With your death.
I shook my head.
“It could be an attack, or it could be a lesson.”
A loss Sylvia couldn’t endure. Deep lingering attachment left in the past.
The reason I sought her out under the pretext of ‘private tutoring’ was also because of that.
The experience of loss was, in the end, experience. Experience made people accustomed, or exhausted them.
Either way, it was a good result for ‘me.’
“Al Ros.”
I called Al Ros’s name.
—What.
“Why are you here?”
—……I told you.
“You didn’t state the exact reason. You hid it.”
The scarecrow walked in silence. Ahem— Al Ros seemed to clear her throat, and a clump of straw flew from its mouth.
“Did you come to cooperate with the Order?”
—…….
“You had been out of contact for quite a while even before the Isle of Voices appeared.”
—…….
Al Ros was silent.
Let me say this again: Al Ros was set up as a villain. One who cooperated with the Order and ultimately played a part in the advent of a god.
The fact that there had been no contact whatsoever until now, then suddenly being found on the Isle of Voices.
“Perhaps you betrayed me.”
—……It is not quite betrayal. Did we not consider each other to be in a simple cooperative relationship?
As we walked like that, we soon arrived at the guild room.
“To me, that is betrayal.”
Squeak—
When I opened the guild room door, Al Ros’s main body was visible. Today too, she sat in a chair wearing a mask.
“……It was a situational response.”
Al Ros spoke as she looked at me.
“I know that I provided you with information and received compensation. However, I judged the Order’s compensation to be far greater.”
“Your basis.”
I sat in a chair. I glared at Al Ros intently.
“…….It was a natural conclusion.”
Al Ros let out a small sigh.
She looked into the empty air as if recalling a certain scene.
“Just before I came here, I briefly witnessed a manifestation ritual of the ‘God.’”
I furrowed my brow. Al Ros shook her head.
“In that moment, I knew. That I could only survive by joining that side. It was a landscape impossible to describe with mysticism or magic. It wasn’t majestic, nor was it holy. It was simply overwhelming.”
Sand trickled down from the guild room ceiling. Al Ros fiddled with her mask, then bent her body. As if in prayer.
“I tried to use the Order. I intended to make money by roughly cooperating with their mad plan to resurrect a god. I thought money was the only immutable value in this world. But the moment I saw that, I wondered if this was truly a god.”
“You judged wrong.”
I cut her off. Al Ros raised her torso to look at me.
“That thing is not a god. It’s a madman.”
“…….”
I glared at Al Ros as if pitying her and shook my head.
“Anyway, seeing that makes it all the more clear that the original me must not see you. The moment you catch my eye, you’re taxidermy.”
“Because you didn’t see—”
“I know. I also know that god’s name. I know who that damned madman is.”
“……What.”
Al Ros’s eyes widened through her mask.
No matter how much I’m not the real one, I know the scenario progression and quest framework within Gim Ujin’s memories.
“That thing is not a god, but a fake. If it were a true god, it wouldn’t depend on believers. A god begging a puppeteer for a body? That’s not a god, it’s a fucking cripple.”
“…….”
Al Ros closed her mouth. I thrust my face close to hers.
“Al Ros. I do not forgive betrayal. However, the current me is merciful, so I’ll give you a chance.”
“……A chance.”
“Whether you will believe in me, or believe in the god. Decide before the original me arrives.”
“What kind of decision.”
“Don’t you have Gerek. If you release him when I come, I will die, and if you don’t release him, I will live.”
For a moment, Al Ros’s eyes narrowed. Her visible face looked frustrated, so I ripped off the mask.
I looked at her and spoke.
“I’m saying I will entrust my life or death to you. And this is how I trust people.”
If you’re going to believe, believe firmly enough to entrust your life.
If you won’t believe, then as an enemy for life.
I don’t need a half-hearted relationship.
“……You.”
Just as Al Ros, having swallowed, was about to blabber something.
Squeak—!
Suddenly, the guild room door opened.
“Whew~ I ate well!”
It was Jukaken, grinning from ear to ear. He seemed to have eaten meat somewhere, as grease was thick around his mouth.
Then, seeing the two of us, he flinched and stumbled backward.
“Oh, what the. Were you two sharing love? Why are you stuck so close together?”
“…….”
“…….”
We pulled back and sat down.
“Ah. I should’ve come in later. No, I should’ve peeped. Ah~ what a shame. Keke.”
Jukaken came in grinning and asked, slurring his words.
“Or, can’t I join in—”
“Shut your mouth. Is your maw a garbage dump? You keep spewing shit.”
At that, Jukaken’s face hardened. His eyes and mouth went wide as if he had received a shock.
“……Ah. Come. On. This is… too much. I came back from working hard, how could you do this?”
I ignored the guy burying himself in his chair as if sulking.
* * *
Day by day by day.
Time flowed on the isle, and Sylvia’s private tutoring continued at the same time every day. The more she learned, the more my body repeatedly broke apart.
The death that was not far off had now taken root clearly in my heart. Since this too was essentially a natural death, though not satisfying, it was something I could accept to a degree.
“Good work. Today’s dictation score is good too.”
Sylvia’s room.
Fortunately, today’s tutoring had ended completely.
“…….”
Sylvia quietly looked at me. My time was short as such, and the signs of collapse were clear enough that even she knew.
“Is today the last day of tutoring?”
She asked me. It was a curiosity quite worth wondering about.
I shook my head.
“The tutoring continues.”
The tutoring would be continued by the next me, the me after that, and the me after that again, resurrecting endlessly.
Therefore, the tutoring does not end.
“Then, you know. Can I ask one thing?”
Sylvia had been observing me closely.
Since the tutoring time had already ended, there was no honorific language.
“Ask. Anything.”
“What kind of person was Yu Ara?”
That question was new.
I smiled as I looked at Sylvia.
The three syllables of the name Yu Ara were wondrous. The fact that there was someone else who knew her name besides me was wondrous.
“I’m curious.”
“……There’s nothing to be curious about. Yu Ara was Yu Ara.”
I closed my eyes for a moment. I tried to recall that face, but the memory was faint.
Was it due to my functions gradually stopping?
“There is no other explanation besides that.”
“…….”
Then Sylvia’s expression stiffened for a moment. She seemed somewhat sorry, or regretful, exhaling a faint breath.
“You. Do you know.”
“What.”
“The Voice failed to implement Yu Ara.”
“The implemented Yu Ara was an empty shell. The implementation of a soul was impossible. Do you know the reason?”
At that, my brow narrowed.
The reason why the implementation of a soul was impossible.
It was…….
“Because souls are unique.”
The uniqueness of a soul. The natural law that only one soul could exist in this world.
Even the ‘Voice’ was not free from this law.
The reason the Voice could revive the dead was because the souls of the deceased existed in the underworld, not in the living world.
“In this world, Yu Ara’s soul still exists. She is alive.”
“…….”
Sylvia, who had stopped speaking, bit her teeth. Her face was somewhat angry.
Now, I felt like I knew what this girl was thinking.
“Could it be that Yu Ara didn’t die back then.”
Pity dwelled in the girl’s eyes as she looked at me.
It was the same emotion as the eyes with which I once looked at this girl.
“Could it be that Yu Ara hated you, that she ran away from you. That she chose the worst method to escape you. That she ran away, and is still alive and breathing somewhere.”
“…….”
That could be so.
If it was a ‘setting’ planted by that girl, Yu Ara.
“I think so. That you were betrayed by Yu Ara. That’s why I pity you too.”
Sylvia hung her head after stopping speaking. Though there was no hesitation in her voice, sorrow dwelled on her face.
“……Sorry. But the next you will forget anyway.”
“…….”
I looked at Sylvia. I nodded silently.
Suddenly, I could understand.
If she had truly left me, it would be worth jotting down such a setting.
Because even I could think of no other way to escape Dekulain’s love than to ‘fake death.’
“I see.”
“…….”
Sylvia looked at me silently. That silence held consideration. It held regret.
“……So that’s how it was.”
I smirked. I shook my head.
Sylvia didn’t take her eyes off my face.
“But, it’s fine.”
“…….”
The girl’s expression stiffened. She straightened her back. Her two eyes were blankly empty.
“However…… Sylvia.”
Cr-rumble…….
Soon, my body began to come apart. Like paint that had reached the end of its lifespan. Like a sandcastle collapsing.
“Before I die, I still want to tell you something that no one else has ever told you.”
I placed my hand on the girl’s shoulder. It was a wretched hand. Skin had peeled away, and wrinkles had already split open.
It was a portrait on the verge of collapse.
“Sylvia.”
I called the girl’s name. She still said nothing.
“……It’s not your fault.”
The words that it wasn’t her fault she had become like this.
The words that swallowing the Voice and becoming so unhappy wasn’t her fault.
Gilteon and Illeideu.
Dekulain and Yukurain.
The words that it was merely the rivalry between two archmages that sacrificed the child named Sylvia.
I lacked the time now to say all of that.
“…….”
Then Sylvia made a breath-stopping sound. Her breathing trembled hotly.
The girl reached out. That small hand touched my cheek. My eyes had already gone blind so I couldn’t see the girl’s face, but a hot breath hovered at the tip of my nose.
“You’re going to forget this too.”
A voice spreading calmly in the dark world. A gesture pulling me in.
A sensation touching my lips.
Wet moisture.
“……I love you.”
A trembling voice holding back tears. Words containing pure emotion.
That was my final memory.