The Toxic Member Has Returned! Episode 227
* * *
Sledix’s ‘Monghwelang’ stage garnered the most attention among solo idol stages and decorated the finale.
The stage length, and the share of social media and community posts too.
[Now that’s top tier, now that’s top tier, now that’s top tier, now that’s top tier]
[⎿Please try to calm down;;]
[Look at those Sledix stans always talking about the military when they have nothing else to say and then vanishing the moment they perform, hahaha. Does it hurt your heart comparing it to your oppas’ stage? ㅠㅠ]
[⎿Yeah, your Juyeong is dating Billy, good luck with that]
[⎿How ancient is that bait? It’s been 200 years since that story completely died down]
[Always Yeonwoo @Yeonwoojung___(photo)(photo)
Always dancing like his body is breaking... (crying)(crying)
With visuals that don’t pale even standing next to actors, singing well, producing too, dancing well. Since such an all-rounder isn’t coming out anew, that’s why I’m always Yeonwoo♡]
[Menttolgi Living Like This and Dying @mennnnheeriS2Really manifested pure devotion... Other failed idol fans, when they act psycho the singers go psycho too, but no matter how psycho I act, our oppas are always thriving]
Well, if it was already to this extent just from what I’d glimpsed in the waiting room, there was no need to add more.
I turned my gaze, which had been fixed on my phone, back to the waiting room TV, and carefully observed Sledix performing on stage in real time.
- Dream within a dream, Day, Day, Daydream
Infinite tomorrows, To, To Together
You catch your breath
I exhale
Drop, Drop, Drop
In this place of dreams
Our stroll never ends
Flawless movement paths, razor-sharp group choreography without an inch of error.
Unlike our T.O.J, which pursues natural ad-libs in a free atmosphere, vocals that take the perfect textbook approach.
And a leader who perfectly digested everything at that focal point, and the members behind him.
“Tch….”
Even as I recalled how Yeonwoo hyung had blatantly picked on Sagongyu earlier, I quietly clicked my tongue at that perfect sight.
To pin down the concrete image of the ‘best idol in K-pop history,’ the final contract condition with X, I’d probably have to reach at least that level.
Well….
“Wow, the Sledix sunbaenims are really….”
“Geez, how long would it take for Logan and me to dance at that level? Ugh, I really can’t even imagine. Juyeong sunbaenim is… part of the vocal unit, you know.”
“We’ll have to practice like hell, I guess….”
Like our members’ reactions, it still felt like a story too far in the distance for now.
If I had to point out something fortunate right now, maybe it was that except for Sledix’s final stage, everyone else was already getting ready to clock out.
The joint stage with the senior sunbaenims was over, and we’d even applauded the second-half song award winners.
Most fortunately of all, because our stage times had crossed over so exquisitely, there was no longer any chance of running into Yeonwoo hyung.
- Dream within a dream, Day, Day, Daydream
Infinite todays, To, To Together
I choose you
You spit me out
Drop, Drop, Drop
In this place of dreams
Our wandering never ends
Because if Yeonwoo hyung, who smiles softly like a crescent moon, were to say something like “Then we’re doing the same program together,” I really couldn’t think of what to answer.
It’s a good thing, right.
“…
T.O.J members. You may head back in now. Everyone, great work today!”
“Great work!”
And so ‘Sound Stage: The Final’ drew its curtain, and now, performers exhausted from the long show were heading back to their dorms one by one, or off to after-parties.
“…
Chunyong. Will you be okay? Not tired?”
“Ah, yes. I’m fine.”
“Since you say so, I won’t worry, but I’m still a bit concerned. You said this is your first time meeting Sagongyu.”
“Come on, Jaeha hyung. Yongyong hyung is going out and leaving us behind, why are you worrying about him on top of that! I was actually hoping Yongyong hyung would be uncomfortable there because he deserves it for ditching us….”
“…
Jihwaseong. You, come here.”
“Ack! Ah, no. It’s just because hyung isn’t hanging out with us!”
“Shhh, Hwasong. Your expression is wrong. In times like that, you should speak honestly.”
“I don’t want to hear that from Logan!”
“Haha….”
T.O.J’s van heading back to the dorm after finishing our first year-end stage was boisterous.
Because I’d been the first among the members to make plans with another celebrity, not because of any event afterwards—we’d agreed from the start that ‘since we have another year-end stage in a few days, let’s just go in and rest today.’
At first, everyone had grabbed my shoulders in shock with faces like ‘Could it be a girl…?’ but they calmed down when I mentioned it was Ahn Taei and his actor friend Sagongyu.
“Tch, I really wonder if Yongyong hyung will be okay there.”
“Oh, Hwasong. It’s needless worry. Chunyong hyung makes people feel more comfortable than Hwasong does, after all.”
“Logan, you’re dissing someone on the sly!”
Rather, everyone was somewhat concerned about the prickliness Sagongyu had displayed earlier.
They figured it was because it’s year-end and everyone’s hearts are restless, but….
“Chunyong-ssi. Then I’ll let you off here. If you contact me, I’ll come pick you up. Just say the word.”
“Ah, Hobin hyung. I’m so sorry for keeping you out late. I could’ve just gone alone….”
“Not at all. This is a manager’s job. Then, have a good time.”
“Have fun, Yongyong hyung!”
“…
I’ll be back!”
I’d prepared myself, in my own way.
“…
*Hoo.*”
I gazed for a moment at Yuchan hyung and Siu, who were asleep leaning against each other in the very back seat of our tinted team van, then slowly moved my steps into the villa Ahn Taei had told me to come to.
I could tell that Yuchan hyung and Siu’s relationship had improved even with the naked eye, but I’d properly check that when I got back later.
Before that, I had to wrap up this current situation well, which was part of the ‘finding hints about the other guys’ that I’d been planning for a while.
To get what I wanted, I needed to get close to Sagongyu first.
Even if it wasn’t for what I wanted, he was someone I’d newly met in this changed life.
There was no harm in it.
“The entrance password is, so….”
Slowly stepping into the villa rumored to house more than just a couple of celebrities, I carefully organized how I’d approach Sagongyu.
“Unit 305, unit 305….”
It’s a well-known fact that you can get closer to someone when you have common interests or experiences.
“Actually, Hwasong was a bit scary when we were preparing for the ‘Aiming’ stage. I don’t know, he just felt hard to approach….”
“Hmm? Hwasong felt hard to approach?”
“Ugh, Jaeha, don’t even start. Honestly, all the kids who were AG trainees back then were like that! You too, Hwasong too, Siu too! You have no idea how perfect you all looked.”
“W-we didn’t really think anything of it….”
“Ick, Logan. How old is that story! The me back then is practically gone now, okay?”
For example, when our T.O.J members are free, gathering together to mull over memories of
“…
Chunchun. Did you practice that separately? Your movements are so clean?”
“Ah, yes. I’d tried it a few times during individual practice, but….”
“Jinyoung, did you see? Did you see? Should I film this too?”
“Ah, I’ve… been… filming… since earlier….”
“No, Dasol-ssam. How could you film without saying anything…!”
“Today, you said… I could do everything… And, ssam… no. Hyung….”
Or having discussions about dance moves and rhythm bloom with the JDS Crew members and Dasol hyung met through album preparation.
“Kim Chunyong. I have something I want to ask you….”
“Huh? What is it?”
“You… do you still like cup ramyeon?”
“Of course, want to go eat? We only have ten minutes of break left, but still.”
“…
If we boil it halfway, we can eat for nine minutes. Let’s go.”
As I reflected on the Queens days when the two of us had been close, hurriedly finishing a cup of ramyeon with Han Dan-u.
Well, things like that.
However, what I felt, having made a name as one of the idol industry’s most notorious toxic members and having experienced all sorts of things, was that there was one medium through which people could get even closer than through shared interests or experiences.
“Fucking hell… that bastard Teo, does everything go away just because he escaped? He dragged everyone else down to hell with that issue and left!”
“I knew that bastard would turn out like that. Hey, didn’t I tell you? He was hitting on my girlfriend before. Those bastards only don’t do one thing.”
“I don’t know, I don’t know. I’m really fucked. Fuck, I took the settlement money in advance and put it in. It fell 47 percent. Ah, I’m pissed….”
“Drink up for now. Hey, Rex. You want more too?”
“I… want… water….”
“Sigh… sure, sure.”
It’s having something you mutually hate.
People say this is an unhealthy way to get close, but in fact, nothing was more certain than this.
Putting heads together to curse about the same topic, empathizing with ‘So you felt that negative emotion too?’
Psychologically, sharing curses over a bad thing similar to yours resonates more with people than empathizing over a good thing.
Therefore, Sagongyu’s startled reaction while handing the trophy to Yeonwoo hyung earlier.
That was going to serve as a guideline for how I treated Sagongyu from now on.
*Rrrrrr*— A doorbell sound similar to the one at our dorm rang through the quiet villa hallway, and the door opened smoothly without any ordinary creaking sound.
And from within, the hottest actor these days walked out with a glance, in an outfit similar to before but more relaxed.
“…
Ah, you’re here.”
“Yes, we meet again. So….”
“The full name.”
“…
Sagongyu-ssi.”
I lightly bobbed my head toward Sagongyu and tried my best to put on a likeable smile.
Well, you can’t spit on a smiling face.
“Ah, it seems Taei hasn’t arrived yet? Haha, he said he was going to introduce Sagongyu-ssi to me….”
“That’s just how he is, always. Hmm….”
With awkward expressions, the two of us slowly moved into the villa, and a sporadic conversation continued.
“As far as I know, Sagongyu-ssi is older than me. Then, hyung….”
“No, no. Just the full name is fine. You’re Ahn Taei’s friend, so hearing such a title is a bit….”
“Ah, right. The hierarchy gets tangled.”
It was exactly the kind of conversation people have when they have absolutely no information about each other.
The conversation that came out without someone to lead it in the middle was supremely awkward.
“Ugh….”
Perhaps Sagongyu wasn’t very used to this kind of thing either; a subtle wrinkle remained between his brows until his steps reached the kitchen.
I thought he was curt because he spoke in clipped sentences, but he seemed more on the sensitive side.
Sensitive people tend to read others’ moods better.
“Um, would you like a drink? I bought some.”
“Ah. A drink.”
Well, this was usually the norm.
It was just that our T.O.J members had it rough from me before debut, so they were particularly not like that; for guys in their early twenties huddling together, drinking was mostly what they did.
They say drinking and talking lowers the hurdle and brings people closer.
Of course, to me, who’d suffered terribly from alcohol addiction before, it was a different story.
I had something prepared, and a goal.
Today, the goal of getting close to Sagongyu no matter what.
Through that, the goal of obtaining hints about ‘the other guys,’ and trying to carry out my contract along with personal revenge.
There was no putting that damned alcohol to my lips in any of that.
“Haha, a drink. I’ve never really drunk before….”
“Ah, then you can try drinking with me. I’m quite a heavy drinker.”
“Yes, let’s do that, I guess.”
With a meeting taking place first without Ahn Taei, a hasty drinking session opened on the island table of Sagongyu’s villa to ease the awkwardness.
A red-cap bottle, whiskey, wine, tonic water and ice to mix.
Cheese, salami, olives, snacks, all kinds of drinking foods.
“Tch, well. I actually don’t really have friends my age… so, yeah.”
“Take it slow, slowly. Taei isn’t here anyway.”
“Ah, yes.”
Just then, as Sagongyu, who had prepared everything, sat before me and began hurriedly twisting open the red cap with an embarrassed expression.
Having timed it perfectly, I slowly opened my mouth.
“…
That can happen. I’ve actually been wanting to drink lately too. There was something weighing on me.”
Conversation shared over drinks easily lowers the hurdle of how far it goes.
Of course, it was even better if there was bait laid beforehand.
Sure enough.
“Ah, something weighing on you?”
Thinking that they were about to start drinking in earnest now, Sagongyu slightly relaxed the frown he’d been wearing and reacted to my words.
“…
Now.”
“Yes. More precisely, a burdensome person. That is, Sledix’s….”
“….”
Sagongyu’s expression twisted. Very, perfectly.
I hadn’t even mentioned the exact name ‘Jeong Yeonwoo.’
I’d only said Sledix.
In truth, I just wanted to avoid Yeonwoo hyung a bit; it wasn’t that I hated him, but… well….
“J-Jeong Yeonwoo?”
“Ah.”
“That bastard! So he does that to other people too! That son of a—.”
That’s why.
Like they say.
If you hate the same thing, you get close easily.