The Toxic Member Has Returned! Episode 201
* * *
It finally felt like I had properly climbed a very small mountain.
"Everyone, you really worked hard! Really, really, we're number one!"
It wasn't quite on the same level as when I debuted again through
"Ugh, hic... W-we really...."
"Guys, you really worked hard. This is really something I'd never even imagined...."
"Holy, I c-can't believe it. My song? Really...?"
"Party! Let's have a party at the dorm when we get back! I think we can do it today!"
After winning first place, the waiting room we returned to was filled with voices raised in excitement and joy, and tears.
I had never seen such a sight except when we won the Rookie of the Year award.
Because when we were Arrows, we had never taken first place.
"Yes! Let's meet this week's 15th to 10th places. 13th place is... Arrows, who made a comeback with a powerful mini album this time!"
Even when they achieved fairly good results, they had merely maintained their chart rankings on music streaming sites.
So this was a first not just for our members, but for me too.
"Ha, haha...."
My vision whitened slightly, I was enveloped in a strange sense of elation from head to toe, and I couldn't tell if I was stepping on the ground or floating.
In my head, things that had happened while preparing this repackage album, my family's faces, and everything I had left behind flashed through my mind in an instant.
Ah....
I take back what I said about it not being like debuting again.
That kind of bluff hadn't worked at all.
My face had grown wet without me even realizing it.
"Number one, number one...."
As I was reeling, intoxicated by sensations too overwhelming to bear alone, "Chunyong."
"...Ah."
"We need to take a picture with the number one trophy. We're going to upload it to SNS."
At Jaeha hyung's voice and the gentle grip on my shoulder, I came to my senses.
Right. Now wasn't the time for this.
Unlike during debut, a vacation didn't come immediately afterward, and we were still promoting.
Which meant there was no time to get drunk on this feeling.
If we left this waiting room, we had to move to our next schedule; when today passed, we had to prepare for the next music show; and when we finished promotions through next week like that, we had to practice for the year-end music festivals.
As if that were all?
The reasons I had wanted this number one.
[Kim Nari: OMG OMG OMG Kim Chunyong number one for real?? Please tell Siu I said congrats and that he worked so hard and that I'll really really support him from now on, just one word please]
[Mom: Son, your dad and I watched the broadcast together]
[Mom: You worked hard, son]
[Mom: Make sure you come home after work, okay?]
[Bomi noona: (Missed call)]
I had to do what I could for my family....
"Ah, Yongyong hyung! Hurry up. I said my leg is going to cramp from waiting for you."
"Yeah, yeah, I'm coming. Sorry."
"Yeah, Chunyong. You have no idea how many minutes Hwaseong has been standing in that weird pose."
"Oh, it's not that weird. Hwaseong, can I join too?"
"Totally, come on. Logan's on the right, I'm on the left. C'mon, one, two...."
"Hyungs, doing weird things...."
"Ugh, guys. Let's actually take it now! Hobin hyung is waiting!"
At the same time, atone to everyone I felt sorry toward.
"I'll take it. Everyone smile!"
To do that, there was no time to stop at all.
Click!
[ToZ @Targetofzenon_AG (Photo) (Photo)
Dear Jenia, this is ToZ!
From our debut, through our debut album, and up to now with our repackage album, we've been able to gain strength thanks to the love Jenia has sent us.
We think this award was also given to us by Jenia.
Thank you, our most precious partner.
For the remaining promotions, we'll do our best for Jenia too!]
[⎿Hello, Jenia. It's Jaeha. We talked among the members, and we thought it would be nice if we each left an additional post. From
[⎿Hi hi hi Jenia!! It's Hwaseong, ToZ's cutest member \( ˆoˆ )/ The first award from Jenia! What this really means to us is....]
[.......]
[⎿Jenia! Bomchun Yongyong. It's Chunyong. Number one is something I'd really dreamed of for so long, but never even imagined... so I don't know what to say now that we've achieved it! Thank you. Thank you so much.
From the survival show until now, thank you for supporting us despite all that happened! Thank you for staying by our side!
Really, thank you, everyone.
I won't stop.
I'll work even harder.
I love you!]
And so, by uploading my SNS post last among the members, I neatly folded away the elation of this number one and buried it in a corner of my heart.
Hoping that someday, when I was a little less busy, I could open it back up.
Hoping that then, I could share this feeling more completely with the people beside me.
"......."
I quietly watched hearts and reposts being stamped on my post on Hobin hyung's phone, then soon handed it back to him.
"Hyung, would you go to the van first? I just need to find something real quick, so I'll follow soon."
"Huh? Did you lose something?"
"Uh... I think I know where it is, though. It won't take long."
"Ah, okay. We have some time until the next schedule, so you can take your time. Anyway, Yuchan and Siu said they were going to the convenience store for a bit too."
"Aah... yes. Thank you!"
I gave Hobin hyung a friendly smile, then crept furtively toward the mirror in the waiting room.
My phone, which I always wedged invisibly between the tables in case someone looked at my messages through the preview.
There, I found what I'd said I was "looking for."
One guy I'd lightly bickered with, shared a somewhat serious talk with, and then somewhat neglected.
["X." < 87 messages>]
My atonement partner.
"87 messages...."
I clicked my tongue briefly at the flood of messages from X, swiped them all away with 'mark all as read,' and sent a short reply.
- Kim Chunyong: Hey
- Kim Chunyong: Hey X
- Kim Chunyong: I got number one like you said? I didn't even get your help?
When I thought back to why X had been upset, and why Kim Chunyong had fought with him, it was a bit funny.
In the end, it was because I hadn't contacted him much while spending happy time with the members.
Well, after that, there were some ambiguous parts where I'd heard information about "those other guys" from X and acted more sensitively than I'd thought, but.
The starting point was definitely there.
"Tsk...."
I carefully reread the part where I'd said 'didn't even get your help?' and belatedly added a few more lines.
- Kim Chunyong: Well, to be honest
- Kim Chunyong: I did do the stage well myself
- Kim Chunyong: But it's true that I resolved the things that happened in between with your help
- Kim Chunyong: Like drawing Juyeong sunbae's aggro with the 'Overlap' skill, or receiving more attention on stage with 'Idol's Aura,' stuff like that
- Kim Chunyong: Well... so the conclusion is
- Kim Chunyong: Thanks?
- Kim Chunyong: All of that is thanks to you
This was my own kind of peace offering, something I'd never done for X before.
He always ignored me, nitpicked, whined, and said useless things, giving me more worry and problems, but....
- X: Remember? You freaking out thinking you'd get eliminated? lol
- X: I really liked you
- X: So I wanted you to debut and take the next steps smoothly!
Anyway, this guy who acted like a child didn't seem like the type to say empty words.
If I were to name one next step after debuting, it would probably be a music show number one.
And now that I'd actually gotten number one, this guy came to mind, of all things.
[X is typing...]
Standing in the empty waiting room, I quietly waited for X's reply for a moment.
There wasn't any big reason I didn't go to the van to exchange messages there.
"Come on, you usually reply at lightning speed, so why are you so slow today, seriously...."
Having to hide and talk like this was uncomfortable for various reasons, and I could speak out loud to myself like this.
But I shouldn't have.
- X: Hey you're fucked
- X: No? We're fucked
- X: What do we do? Sorry
- X: I guess I told you about those other guys too fast
- X: Fuck we're fucked!!
"...What are you talking about?"
If not for this decision of mine, I would have seen the messages in which X was frantically declaring 'we're fucked' much later....
"Ah, thank goodness. You haven't left yet."
...and I might not have met that man who came to our waiting room late.
"Hoo... what is this now...."
I spotted the person at our waiting room door and unconsciously took a step back, trailing off.
And no wonder, since someone who had no business being here had shown up.
Last week.
The great senior with whom I'd talked about all sorts of things in front of the convenience store on the B4 floor of Music Music Days Live Hall.
The very one who made people say 'But Korean male idols are still SLEDIX' even with this album.
"Yeonu sunbaenim. What brings you all the way here...."
Yeonu hyung.
"'What brings me?' Of course I had to come."
The black hanbok-style uniform, its hem designed longer than usual today, fluttered softly as Yeonu hyung strode into the waiting room without hesitation.
"I came to congratulate you on your number one. But we had our final broadcast too, so there was some back and forth, and I thought I was late...."
"......."
"Fortunately, Chunyong-sshi was still here. Fate?"
"...Hardly."
I smoothly slipped my phone into my pocket while messages like [OMG what do we do where do I even start explaining this it's just completely fucked. catastrophic. oh please. I can't believe it. It's an epic failure...] were still flooding in like crazy, and feigned composure.
"Haha, if it's congratulations, you could have just sent a message. I always check sunbaenim's messages thoroughly."
"Hmm, but your first number one is truly special. Also, it seemed like you weren't seeing my messages? Juyeong's phone shows read receipts, you know."
"...I'm sorry."
I stared at Yeonu hyung, who had come to our waiting room long after everything had ended and was speaking in cryptic vagaries.
Saying he came to congratulate me on number one?
If that were the case, he would have sent Juyeong sunbae, not Yeonu hyung.
If Juyeong sunbae came to our waiting room, he would see me, Hwaseong, and Logan's faces, recall what happened back then, and learn another lesson.
But coming personally meant....
"...By any chance, is there something else you want to say?"
That he had other motives.
"Oh...."
At my words, Yeonu hyung raised his eyebrows for a moment, then soon wore a gentle smile on his face and nodded.
"I don't know how you knew, but yes. That's right."
"You wanted to tell me, not anyone else?"
"That's right. You know, I took a liking to Chunyong-sshi. I said you were interesting."
"...What did you come here for?"
At my words that feigned ignorance but showed clear wariness, Yeonu hyung stroked his chin with long, pale, bloodless fingers, then slowly opened his mouth.
And.
"...There's something starting right after the year-end music festivals."
"Something?"
"Yes. Something. And I want to try doing it together with Chunyong-sshi."
Things I hadn't expected were beginning to arrive, one by one.