Episode 60
“No one saw when or how she disappeared……”
Madam Serva could not hide her bewilderment either.
Rose, who had been with Ezekail until the night before, had vanished without a trace the next morning. After urgently turning the bedroom upside down, Ezekail and Madam Serva discovered that the window in the adjoining room where Rose had stayed was not locked. It seemed the mansion’s black curtains, which were habitually drawn, had hidden Rose’s back all night as she secretly climbed out the window and disappeared.
If the mansion’s valuables had disappeared along with Rose, he might have accepted it, thinking she had chosen wealth over love. Of course, it was a conclusion that did not suit Rose’s character in the slightest, but at least then he could have guessed at her motive somehow.
But Rose had taken only the small amount of luggage she had brought with her and disappeared. She had not touched a single thing in the mansion.
That made the situation all the more impossible to accept.
“Rose.”
She had always stayed by his side like a shadow. Ever since Rose had come to him, there had never been a moment when he had not felt her presence. But now, no matter how many times he called, no answer came back.
……Rose.
He wanted to ask.
Rose, what happened to you? Why did you suddenly have to leave? Since when had you been harboring such thoughts?
“Rose, when my sight returns, the first thing I’ll look at will be your face.”
“Wait just a little longer, Rose. I’ll be able to see you soon.”
He could not even imagine what expression Rose must have worn while he alone had been promising and anticipating the future. He found himself unbearably pathetic for having arrogantly believed he knew everything about her.
Ezekail took out the diamond ring he had brought with him, box and all, in his pocket. It was the ring he had unconsciously grabbed just before rushing out of the mansion in pursuit of the vanished Rose.
If he met Rose at Milena Girls’ School, he had intended to put the ring on her finger then and there. Before asking for an explanation—or, if she seemed unwilling to give one, without asking anything at all—he planned to put the ring on her first, put her on the horse, and bring her back.
But the ring had not met its owner. Now he did not even know where that owner was.
Ezekail stood motionless, staring down at the ring that had lost its owner. The red diamond sparkled with a brilliance so clear and dazzling it felt almost spiteful. He pictured in his mind the slender finger wearing the ring, then clenched the jewel so tightly that his palm stung.
Rose, no matter how much I think about it, I don’t understand you.
If you were going to abandon me and leave so suddenly without a word, you shouldn’t have given me such affection. You shouldn’t have let me learn what love was. You shouldn’t have devoted yourself to me so one-sidedly. You should have spent at least a little time for yourself.
You shouldn’t have made me recklessly believe…… that you would stay by my side forever.
But he had already received her affection, received her devotion, learned love, and even if it had been nothing but a delusion of his own, he did not want to turn back.
He only had to find her, wherever she was.
Yes, he only had to find her.
As long as she was a person who truly existed, she had to be somewhere in Astrie.
She had been a woman who shrank back even on ordinary days, conscious of the difference in their status. Since she had not known that he was secretly preparing to propose, it was possible that she had misunderstood, watching the date of his surgery draw closer day by day, and thought their future was uncertain. If that was the case, he only had to clear up the misunderstanding and give her certainty.
Or if she had come to him as thanks for saving the schoolgirls who had nearly been caught up in battle, only to experience his violent behavior and decide he was not a man she could entrust her entire life to……
Ezekail hurriedly counted the wrongs he had committed.
There were things that came to mind. The time he had failed to recognize Rose’s goodwill and had laid hands on her carelessly, suspecting her of being a spy sent by Arkenaus. The day he had harshly shoved Rose, who had been walking down the corridor with her eyes covered because she wanted to be of help to him, pierced his solar plexus like a thorn.
The person who had tried to poison him was someone else, yet Rose, who had done nothing wrong, had been the one to suffer his unjust venting of anger. She was a deep-hearted woman, so even if she had not shown it outwardly, she must have been hurt inside.
He had not even properly apologized to Rose. He had thought it was already in the past, and because Rose knew the circumstances that forced him to be suspicious of everything and act sensitively, he had assumed she would understand.
Only now did he truly realize just how selfish a man he had been to Rose.
Was he not truly pathetic? He had never once shown Rose a dependable side of himself.
Ezekail clenched his molars.
So give me a chance to prove anew what kind of man I am.
He would apologize for the parts that had disappointed her, make up for the parts that seemed unreliable, listen carefully to the things she wanted to say, and not ask about the things she did not want to say. All he would ask for was her promise never to leave again. Now that his sight had returned, he was confident he would not lose Rose.
Ezekail mounted his horse again.
❖ ❖ ❖
Even though the miracle of the blind master’s sight being restored had finally occurred, the Valdemaera mansion in Derosa still lay sunken in desolate silence.
It was because fortune and misfortune had stepped in together in a subtle tangle. The atmosphere, which had loosened flexibly for a while as Ezekail became absorbed in Rose, had frozen rapidly over the past few days. Rose’s disappearance had even come as a tremendous shock to the servants who had worked with her. Without the slightest sign, Rose had cared for Ezekail diligently, kindly, and devotedly until her final day, then vanished without anyone knowing.
“Just when work was starting to feel a bit worthwhile these days—what kind of bolt from the blue is this?”
Coming out after her meeting with Madam Serva, Anna tore at her hair. Even Anna, who had been closest to Rose, had not anticipated this outcome at all.
Had she ever felt anything strange from Rose? Had Rose said anything secretive? Throughout the round of questioning, the only answer Anna had given was that she knew nothing.
She truly had known nothing.
Because that child—Rose—had not said a word. Besides, no matter how close Anna had been to Rose, it surely could not compare to the master who had shared a bed with her. If the master had failed to notice anything, how could Anna possibly have known?
In addition, after Rose’s absence, several changes took place in the mansion.
Among them, the greatest change by far was that all the black curtains surrounding the mansion were torn down. Once it became clear that those curtains were the reason no one had noticed Rose’s final traces, the enraged Ezekail ripped down every curtain in the entire mansion with his own hands that very day.
Now, the outside of the mansion and the garden could be seen at a glance from anywhere. And when sunlight, which had been blocked by the thick curtains and had not set foot inside the mansion all this time, poured in brightly, the servants realized just how deep a darkness they had been living in.
Everywhere they looked, there was light. The world was far too bright. They needed time to adjust to the sunlight that followed them all day long. The servants blinked constantly, and sometimes deliberately sought out darkness.
But the master, who had actually been blind, strode freely outside as if such days had never existed. He even left to search for Rose and stayed away from home for days at a time. Anna had not heard what advice the doctors had left him, but judging by the way Madam Serva stamped her feet in worry, it seemed it was still too much for him to be going out. Still, though he spoke harshly to others, he was not the type to admit weakness, so his exact condition was impossible to know.
On the day he underwent surgery, had they not said that all the onlookers’ own eyes stung and smarted so badly they hardly knew what to do, while the patient himself endured it the most calmly?
Anna thought that perhaps one needed that much endurance to make a name for oneself as a soldier. At the same time, she wondered how such a hard man had let his guard down and lost Rose, and she also wondered what sides of himself he must have shown for the kind-hearted Rose to abandon Ezekail and run away.
But problems between lovers were known only to the people involved, so as an outsider, Anna had no way to guess.
“Ah, that startled me.”
Just then, the master entered the garden on horseback. Anna, feeling guilty for no reason, was about to flee, but when she realized that she was not in her master’s notice at all, she quietly stopped and stole a glance at him.
The greatest obstacle, his eyesight, had returned; he was a member of the Valdemaera family, so he would live not merely wealthy but dazzlingly rich for the rest of his life; and above all, he was that handsome. What on earth had been the problem? After living in the same space as him, had Rose discovered some serious flaw that neither looks nor money could cover?
“Mm, his personality……”
……was a little like that.
Perhaps because he had passed through battlefields where a single mistake led to death, and because he was a soldier who strictly distinguished ally from enemy, Ezekail was far from lenient.
Anna recalled how tightly on edge the servants had lived before Rose came in, constantly watching his mood. Since he was someone who could become endlessly fierce if he turned savage, perhaps Rose had suddenly been frightened at the thought of enduring him for a lifetime. But just as he had devoted his body to guarding the border for the sake of the country, once he gave his heart and considered someone his own, he would surely show responsibility to the very end……
Anna glanced at him from the corner of her eye.
Ezekail did not enter the mansion. Instead, he stopped motionless in the middle of the garden and was staring somewhere.
What is he looking at?
Following the direction in which Ezekail stood, Anna rose onto her tiptoes and hopped in place to check his line of sight, then swallowed a sigh. There was no way to look into the heart of Rose, who had disappeared without even leaving a farewell, but at the very least, it was certain that her master still had deep feelings for Rose.