Episode 54
“However, my husband was unable to open a practice as a doctor. Instead, he changed fields and now works in a laboratory.”
Only now did Rose think she understood why Polina insisted on performing only ophthalmic surgeries. It was to heal her husband’s eyes.
“He was injured while coming in to save me, so I will take responsibility for his eyes with my own hands, no matter what. To do that, there can’t be a single corner of the eye I don’t know. That’s why I haven’t taken any other patients at all and have treated only eyes. People say my career is unusual, but when they injure their eyes, they come to me. When I was truly busy, I performed five or six surgeries in a single day. I haven’t worked as a doctor for very long, but at least in this field, I believe I’m no less capable than other doctors with decades of experience. That must be why Dr. Briman introduced me here.”
After hearing the whole story, the burn scars that had marked Polina’s face no longer caught Rose’s eye.
Rose looked at Polina, her heart heavy.
The word noble must have been meant for people like her. Rose felt endlessly ashamed of her past self, who had come to this mansion claiming she wanted to lessen her guilt.
And she was envious.
Though they both felt responsible for the eyes of the person they loved, Polina was desperately waiting for the day she could operate on her husband’s eyes, while Rose was in a position where she would have to run away the day Ezekiel’s eyes were healed.
“In truth, surgeries other than ophthalmic ones are also impossible because patients react so strongly against them. After all, my face looks like this. Miss Rose, you said nothing even after seeing this face, but the world is not always full of such considerate people. However, patients who cannot see well cannot see the doctor’s face, so they undergo my surgeries without any prejudice.”
“Ah…… I…”
Rose parted her lips.
A considerate person…….
Polina called her considerate simply because she had shown no reaction upon seeing her burn scars. From Mrs. Serva, she had always been told she was a diligent and kind young lady, and Dr. Briman had said that Rose had a meticulous and competent nature.
And Ezekiel…… that man, more than anyone, regarded her as if she were an angel or a saint who had appeared to save his life after it had plunged into ruin.
But all of that was nothing more than a mask she had put on in order to remain by Ezekiel’s side. Only if she were a considerate, diligent, kind, meticulous, and capable employee would he need her. She had merely done her best to show only her good sides; in reality, she was full of deceit, and neither particularly good nor self-sacrificing.
Seeing Polina made her realize it. She had no right to be here. The way she had shamelessly hovered by Ezekiel’s side after damaging his eyes made her feel like a monster who knew no shame.
Compared to Polina, who had devoted herself to eye surgery with the single-minded determination to heal her husband’s eyes with her own hands, and who stood proudly before love, Rose’s own intention of hovering near him because she wanted to make up for her sin was cowardly, shabby, and only shameful.
She did not know how to describe this feeling.
After hesitating and hesitating, Rose ended up asking an unrelated question instead.
“……Even though so much time has passed since the accident, is he still waiting for the surgery?”
“Of course.”
“Is it possible?”
“Even if it’s impossible, I’ll make it possible. I am his wife, but I am also a doctor. When a patient holds on to hope and refuses to give up, there is no case in which the doctor gives up on the patient first.”
Rose did not know whether it was truly possible or whether Polina was clinging to the hope that it would be, but her answer carried a certain conviction as a doctor.
A doctor like this would surely return light, and the world, to Ezekiel’s eyes.
It was a kind of premonition.
❖ ❖ ❖
Merlo appeared with the head wound wrapped in bandages hidden beneath a fedora. The errand-runner, who had been hovering around the mansion from early morning before calling Rose outside, bowed his head in apology with a terribly awkward expression as soon as she appeared.
“I really have no excuse. I’m truly sorry. And thank you for helping me that day.”
When he had been suspecting her of hiding something, he had been so bold; after getting hit once in the head by a stone from Ezekiel, he now seemed quite dispirited.
Watching Rose’s reaction, Merlo began offering an explanation.
“The situation was so frustrating that I wanted to overhear what Lord Ezekiel and you were talking about. That was all. I was crouched beneath the wall where the bedroom is, and then you suddenly came out for a walk.”
It was an absurd thing to say. What did he think a man and a woman might be doing in a bedroom, barging in at that hour of the night to eavesdrop on a private conversation?
Even as anger surged up in her, she felt relieved that they had gone out for a walk without having any particularly important conversation. And when she considered Merlo’s situation—how he must have been trapped in the garden for an hour and a half, fumbling about and missing his chance to escape—it was hard to interrogate him further, since he had only brought trouble upon himself.
Moreover, after waiting and waiting, he had been carefully sneaking away to avoid Ezekiel and Rose’s path when Ezekiel discovered him and split his head open, so he had already paid more than enough of a price on his own.
“I was truly shocked. The stone came flying so precisely at me that at first I thought I’d been shot. The killing intent was so fierce I thought I’d die of fright.”
Rose sorted out her complicated feelings with a short sigh, then glanced at Merlo’s head.
“What about your injury? Were you badly hurt?”
“They say the head is an area that bleeds a lot even from a small injury. It looks a bit awful, but I’m all right.”
“I hope you recover well.”
“Yes…… If I keep going in and out of the mansion looking like this, I think I’ll arouse suspicion, so I’m planning to lie low for a while until it heals.”
He would have to. Ever since that day, the servants, under Ezekiel’s orders, had been keeping a close watch to see if anyone who looked unwell passed near the mansion.
“By the way, I hear the surgery date is tomorrow. That day is finally coming. I also heard the doctor who’ll be performing the surgery has entered the mansion, and I hovered around a little out of curiosity as to what kind of person they were, but I couldn’t catch so much as a glimpse.”
Perhaps because her burn scars were likely to draw attention, Polina’s activities were limited to spending most of her time reading in the guest room except during meals, or occasionally taking walks in the garden at times when no one was around.
Once, Rose had even run into her late at night in the middle of the garden where the bushes grew thick. Not knowing Polina was nearby, Rose had discovered the silhouette of a tall woman in the middle of a deep kiss with Ezekiel and had been so startled she nearly screamed. It was fortunate that Ezekiel sensed it by instinct and sealed her lips with his in time; otherwise, she might have let out a scream in the middle of the night and awakened every employee sleeping on the third floor of the mansion.
“I saw nothing. I truly saw nothing, so please don’t mind me.”
After Polina awkwardly disappeared, Rose looked as if she were about to cry.
“Major, why weren’t you surprised?”
“You didn’t know?”
“It would be stranger if I had known.”
“For me, it’d be stranger not to know.”
Ezekiel answered as if teasing her.
“Isn’t it rare to find someone whose every move is that exceptionally noisy? She said her husband can’t see, so she deliberately moves distractingly and stomps around, constantly letting him know where she is.”
“I didn’t know. Ordinary people aren’t that sensitive to other people’s presence. If you knew the doctor was nearby, then how on earth could you……”
How could he have been mingling their tongues and caressing her body without caring whether someone else saw or not? Until now, Rose had been trying in her own way to be careful about her conduct. Her clothes were even half undone at the front because of the lingering affection they had carried on with since the bedroom. While hurriedly straightening her clothes and feeling embarrassed, Rose abruptly swallowed the complaint she had been about to make.
Because she felt even this mortifying moment would one day be something she longed for.
Because she thought she would regret it then, realizing what a fortunate complaint it had been.
“In any case, since two doctors will be performing the surgery, I believe it will go well. It must go well. I wish for its success too. For the Major, and for Valdemaera.”
Even as empty words, Merlo did not say to Rose that it was for her sake. He knew. That Ezekiel’s recovery would be misfortune for Rose.
Rose had not expected that much either.
“Yes, it will. Dr. Briman introduced us to a good doctor.”
“Yes, after looking into him a bit, it seems he’s a man of very high reputation.”
Rose nodded calmly.
He was, from the beginning, the eyes and ears of Valdemaera. It would not be surprising even if he had secretly investigated Dr. Briman’s background.
Merlo opened his mouth.
“The reason I came today is that, for some reason, I felt today might be the last day I’d see you, miss, so I wanted to say my goodbyes in advance.”
All at once, her body temperature dropped.
Ah. So that was why he had come.
In an instant, the reason the errand-runner had dragged his injured body here to deliberately seek Rose out became clear.
This was a kind of warning. Valdemaera’s warning that there was no need for a woman of maidservant status beside Ezekiel once he opened his eyes.