Episode 42
Ezekiel did not have many such charming little memories. He had invited tutors in every field to the mansion and received private lessons, and he had been distant with Akenaus as well. In a family with much to inherit, brothers close in age grew up as rivals, whether they realized it or not. On top of that, once he was old enough, he had gone off to the military. Naturally, he had hardly even seen Akenaus properly for several years, nor had he particularly thought he needed to. The reason Akenaus had tried to harm him without the slightest guilt was likely because there had been no time for brotherly affection to build between them as they grew up.
“Rose, you must have spent all your time at school cleaning up after your friends and the younger children. I imagine you were mature and detached even back then.”
Ezekiel deliberately kept the conversation going.
Rather than his own past, which was dry and colorless no matter how he looked back on it, he was far more curious about Rose’s school days, when she must have grown up cozily among her friends.
“Not necessarily. Once, I secretly boiled molasses in the kitchen because I wanted to make candy, and nearly started a huge fire. Another time, my roommates and I plotted together because we were worried the dormitory chimney was too narrow for Santa Claus to get in, so we left the window open all night. The next day, all of us came down with terrible colds.”
In her characteristic calm, low voice, Rose listed the accidents she had caused one by one. Her manner of speaking was, as always, mature and elegant, while the content was that of a reckless, childish girl. At the dissonance, Ezekiel burst into a quiet laugh midway through listening.
“This is quite unexpected. I thought you would have always sat there like a painting, reading books.”
“I was generally well-behaved, but whenever I let my guard down, I was a troublemaker who caused the strangest accidents.”
“So you were an adorable, lovable little tomboy.”
Rose paused for a moment.
He was a man who had grown up under strict discipline within his family and had likely never been allowed a single childish mistake in his life. Surely each day had been a testing ground where he had to prove his abilities, or a stage upon which his life depended; consequently, he must never have committed even the smallest error. To be honest, the phrase “adorable, lovable little tomboy,” spoken so generously from Ezekiel’s lips, did not suit his personality all that well. But that very gap was so sweet that it made her heart flutter instead. Though the words had passed quickly, she found herself lingering over their aftertaste again and again.
“You’re the first person to say that, Major. When a pot catches fire and everyone has to eat in a dining hall that smells burnt for a while, or when everyone ends up bedridden with a cold for about a week, most people can’t call it lovable.”
“Do you think I don’t know you? There’s no way you caused trouble with bad intentions. I’m sure you were trying to make candy for the younger children and made a mistake. You’re the type whose results don’t quite follow your intentions. That isn’t your fault.”
How strange.
Rose stared quietly at Ezekiel’s profile.
Since when had this man become so kind?
Now she could hardly recall his fierce expression or his warmthless voice. The change that had seeped in without her noticing was moving, and sad.
But that was as far as she could listen with her heart at ease.
“I guarantee you were an easy student to teach and a daughter easy to raise. Sometimes I wonder under what sort of parents one must grow up to become as good and clear-hearted as you. Judging by how different your nature is from mine, your parents must be very generous people.”
Ezekiel mentioned her parents as if it were nothing.
Even though he had said it without knowing anything, her insides dropped and shook for an instant. The blood drained from her entire body, and an untimely chill swept over her back. At the same time, an ache throbbed up through her chest.
There was never a moment to let her guard down.
Her heart could become endlessly sweet, only to turn endlessly bitter.
She had to keep her reason. Rose bit down on her lip with all her strength. Borrowing the power of pain, she barely managed to calm her trembling heart.
“You never talk about yourself enough. Even from just a little of what I’ve heard, you as a girl were this adorable. From now on, I’ll have to ask you often.”
That was not it. It was not that she did not want to speak; she could not. She had fallen into the habit of constantly guarding and censoring her words around Ezekiel, afraid that the subject might inadvertently drift to her family circumstances or memories with her parents and that she might let slip a clue about her identity.
“Ah……”
Rose hurriedly turned the conversation to a new topic.
“I think it would be good to tie the knot around here.”
She needed to scatter his curiosity, which had settled on her family. She quickly waved her hand once as a signal.
As Rose intended, Ezekiel let go of her hand for a moment and felt along the tree trunk.
“What tree is this?”
“Mm… It’s a large, handsome spruce. There was a grove of spruces right near Milena Girls’ School too. When Christmas approached, I remember decorating a small spruce with the children and baking bread to eat. But this tree is too big to use for decoration.”
Rose deliberately brought up a memory from school. It was far safer to talk about school than about the parents he was using his subordinates to track down.
“If it’s big, then you can decorate more of it. That’s good.”
“To buy that many ornaments, the money would be… Ah, here, I suppose that doesn’t matter much.”
“You can’t compare Valdemaera to the finances of a poor school. When winter comes this year, I should have regained my sight by then, so let’s decorate a tree together. Very large and very splendidly.”
Winter.
The first winter was over, and the next winter was far away.
Imagining a future that felt as vague as a dream, Rose smiled bitterly.
“That would be nice. …I think it would be truly nice.”
“If you like it, then we should do it. We can.”
The man, who could not possibly know how she felt, spoke simply as he tied the cord around the thick trunk. While he tightened it firmly so it would not come loose, Rose wandered nearby.
Then, the moment she turned her head without thinking, a statue stood in the distance within her field of vision.
“The statues here are probably works by a famous sculptor too. There are many in the garden.”
She had come out to the garden once before, but at the time her head had been full of the secret rendezvous, and she had had no leisure to look around. Today was the first day she was properly taking in the garden.
Merlo’s explanation had been accurate. Once she became aware of them, the structure of the garden, decorated here and there with statues beyond the shadows of groves trailing long tresses, began to take shape before her eyes.
Rose let out an exclamation without thinking.
“Ah, so that’s it.”
“What is?”
“I can see a large statue nearby.”
“You didn’t know? There should be quite a few of them. Well, I suppose you had no time to look around because you were always working.”
Ezekiel clicked his tongue.
He felt as though he understood anew just how bleak Rose’s days must have been inside this mansion cut off from the outside world, just as his own had been. And Rose was not even blind.
“It’s a statue of a man and a woman, and they’re facing each other. The man is lifting his head, like this.”
Rose changed his posture to match that of the statue. Rather than explaining it complicatedly in words, it would be easier to understand intuitively if he imitated it himself.
At once, Ezekiel’s tone changed.
“Aha.”
“Do you remember?”
“I do. I think I know roughly where we’re standing now too.”
Certainty seeped into Ezekiel’s manner as he gauged his surroundings with eyes that could hold nothing but empty air. It seemed his memories were gradually returning. Rose nodded as well. The statues he had seen long ago while entering across the mansion garden would serve as a kind of landmark for him.
“There’s another statue over there too.”
Rose took his hand and pulled him along. Ezekiel filled the space beside her with a stride that had regained its ease.
“We can tie the cord to this apricot tree. It’s an apricot tree with sturdy branches spreading out. I remember this tree. It’s in a spot I can see if I draw back the curtain in my room for a moment. I used to think it would be nice to make compote with the apricots in summer, and to make a swing and hang it here.”
“Summer will come soon. You can make as much compote as you like, and I’ll have someone put up a swing.”
He should have come outside sooner. Ezekiel regretted it lightly.
It was unexpected that Rose, who was always so very calm, had been harboring such small, intricate thoughts in her head. At the same time, it was cute. Though she often showed a mature side, Rose was ultimately a nineteen-year-old girl. She was a lovely person who sometimes wanted to ride a swing, who decorated colorful trees with friends at Christmas, and who liked sweet treats.
It seemed the mansion’s always dark and solemn atmosphere had deprived Rose of her bright, innocent sides. But with a little more time, he would surely continue to discover, one by one, new sides of Rose he had never seen before.
“Summer……”
Rose lifted her gaze and stared quietly up at the apricot tree.
Summer. Would it be all right until then?