Chapter 40
“Protecting others was routine for me.”
The man for whom protecting others and his country had been daily routine—why was it that when he himself was in danger, he was so heartlessly abandoned?
It was a question.
And she wanted to beg anyone, anywhere.
Please, do not let that man be wronged.
That the efforts of good people go unrewarded while the desires of evil people are compensated—isn’t such a world too cruel?
“……If there is a way?”
The first words were impulsive.
“A way, you say?”
“Perhaps…….”
Rose took a deep breath.
“It might be possible to treat him.”
She had not known she would admit with her own lips the future she had been so anxious about—that there was a possibility of recovery for him.
“Are you certain?”
Because her resolve had not yet fully formed, her consciousness dulled blankly. Yet her lips moved regardless of her will.
“I do not know. But there is a doctor willing to attempt detoxification, and the Major’s will is remarkable. They say miracles…… stem from willpower, do they not?”
Rose looked straight at Merlo.
“Isn’t expulsion from the family not an urgent matter that must be decided immediately?”
“Well…… that is true.”
“Then please continue asking His Excellency to draw Akenaus Valdemaera’s attention as he has been doing.”
For now, she had to block Akenaus from ever approaching this mansion. The moment he appeared would spell ruin.
After first guarding against Akenaus, Rose continued her request.
“The Major can decide his own fate after receiving further treatment. If his eyes are lost forever, I will take responsibility and obtain a letter of renunciation. If you need a guarantee, I will write a letter. But if his sight returns…….”
She forced herself to try to smile.
“Since the son originally chosen as the successor was the Major, this would not be bad news for His Excellency either.”
“Then what about you, miss?”
Merlo countered.
“Frankly, it is obvious at a glance that your relationship with Lord Ezekiel is not ordinary. But you can never become the lady of the house of Valdemaera. No household would ever let a mere maid become its mistress. Unless as a kept woman, perhaps.”
“……I suppose so.”
If his sight recovered, she would not be able to stay by Ezekiel’s side anyway.
“Do not worry. I do not want to be a burdensome weight to the Major either. If this is necessary too…….”
Rose steadied her voice.
“I am willing to write a written pledge to prove it.”
“Do you mean it?”
Whether she meant it or not, it was something she had to do to avoid harming him. So she answered.
“Yes.”
“Huh, this is unexpected.”
“…….”
“Of course, if you do that, it would be a relief to our side, so I am grateful. But I do not quite understand. Having only dealt with women who caused disturbances in the main house, looking at you, really…….”
Merlo tilted his head.
“It is not my place to say as a mere errand runner, but—this is Valdemaera. You really feel no greed? If you have become so deeply entangled with Valdemaera, you could try to press your advantage, yet you step back immediately. How should I put it…… should I say you conduct yourself too well, or that your lack of greed is suspicious? You readily pull back as if you always knew this day would come and had already worried about it in advance. How strange.”
Merlo’s observation was accurate.
Ever since Dr. Briman’s treatment had been decided, Rose had constantly imagined this future. It was a matter of her own fate, so it had been necessary.
Rose controlled her expression and replied.
“I simply know my place. If I incur the displeasure of a great house like Valdemaera, it would do me no good either.”
“Remarkable. Not many people know the right time to step back. You certainly do not act foolishly, miss.”
Hearing such admiration did not please her in the least.
She felt as though all her energy had been depleted. A terrible fatigue swept over her.
“……Then let us conclude our business here. I must go back in now.”
The conversation had dragged on unexpectedly, wasting quite a bit of time.
She glanced at the slightly open window. She had bought time by telling Ezekiel she showed signs of menstruation and would wash alone, then climbed through the window to create today’s opportunity. It was a contact method devised by taking advantage of the fact that the entire front of the mansion was covered by curtains.
“Just a moment.”
But Merlo’s interruption was faster.
“I am not finished yet. Aren’t you curious why I came here instead of ignoring the note or pretending not to know?”
Rose’s steps, which had been turning away, faltered to a halt.
“The first day I saw you, you were slicing lemons in the kitchen.”
“Yes. And?”
“Northern folk are generally innocent. No one seemed to know what you were using the lemons for. And it is not a method Lord Ezekiel would choose. The contraception known to soldiers is ultimately the method prostitutes use—they make special devices to insert.”
Had he been carefully watching even the scene of her smuggling out lemon pieces?
Now, no matter how hard she tried, she could not even force a smile.
“It is not a commonly known method, and at a glance it is rather shocking, yet it is also a method devised without losing a certain refinement. I know one person who uses contraception like that. Such matters are normally the province of lower servants doing menial work.”
Her palms began to grow damp with cold sweat.
As a retainer of Valdemaera, Merlo would be well aware of Akenaus’s affairs with women. Moreover, with a woman using the exact same contraceptive method appearing before him, he had cause to suspect her identity.
It was an unexpected blunder.
“I think you could obtain a more conspicuous position than now. Fortunately, I have connections here and there. If you wish, I have mind to introduce you to a good opportunity. How about it?”
This errand runner was more sly and cunning than he appeared. His fawning attention, pretending to take interest, had all been traps to probe her.
Having no further need to deceive Rose with a troublesome disguise, Merlo revealed his true intentions without hesitation.
“Furthermore, as an errand runner of the Valdemaera main house, I have the duty and responsibility to verify the identity of the woman who has taken Lord Ezekiel’s side.”
The man’s interrogation scraped chillingly down her spine.
“Who in the world are you, miss?”
7. His Orbit and Her Orbit
Rose is acting strange.
Ezekiel tuned his ear to Rose’s presence. Today too, she sat blankly, lost in a world of her own. Whatever she was so deeply worrying about, she would not answer when called, or she would react a beat too late. Or she would do the same task over and over. She swept and swept and swept the room, then wiped and wiped and wiped it again. Though he could not see, the floor was surely sparkling without a speck of dust. It was not something Rose necessarily had to do, but she was the type to seek out tasks, so stopping her was useless.
Meanwhile, the lemon tea she had diligently prepared every night had been forgotten these past few days. When he lightly brought it up with a smile, only then did she exclaim in surprise and bring it out. She seemed to be half-lost in thought from time to time.
She had said it was a time when her body was not well, so she was bathing separately and putting off bedtime, yet somehow her vitality seemed less than before. Every day when he held her close in his arms to lie down, she would stay quietly nestled but seemed unable to fall asleep. Afraid of disturbing him, she would lie in a rigid posture for a long time, then occasionally toss and turn ever so slightly—a different feeling from moving naturally while asleep.
He felt suffocated, as though his insides were burning.
If he could see her expression, he would easily notice what problem was making her act so strangely; at times like this, he gritted his teeth anew at that damned Akenaus and that woman.
“Rose, are you ill somewhere? Shall I call a doctor?”
“No.”
Even her answering voice seemed to be making an effort to sound all right. It was all the more frustrating because she was the type to suffer alone when sick, not one to complain to others.
“Then why are you—”
“Major, would you like to take a walk in the garden together?”
Their voices overlapped as they spoke at the same time. Ezekiel quickly displayed his reflexes, closing his mouth and listening to what Rose had to say.
“A walk?”
“Ah……. The rain has stopped too, and there are many clouds today so the moon is not visible. I thought it might be all right to go out on a day like this.”
In truth, the garden was not a place where a blind man could enjoy a walk. Even in his vague memories from long ago, the mansion’s garden was large. Naturally. After all, it was a branch estate of Valdemaera. It was built to a scale befitting the family’s prestige. Moreover, unlike the mansion, there were no precisely designed pathways.
Stepping stones laid across the garden? Unless he crawled on the ground to check their positions, there was no way to know where they were embedded.
Furthermore, the garden was maintained with minimal effort. Unlike other regions, the north, where blizzards frequently raged, was an environment unsuitable for winter landscaping, and with the curtains covering the windows, there was no one to view the garden. Consequently, Lady Serva had drastically slashed the costs of garden maintenance. It would not have been surprising if the garden had grown dreary over the past winter.
However, Ezekiel was glad that the listless Rose had initiated a suggestion to do something, so he answered immediately.
“All right, let’s go out.”