Episode 129
...When will I truly receive a reply? At this rate, won’t winter come and go before we even see each other once?
In the desolate wait, she suddenly felt her breath catch in her throat.
Rijan set down her fountain pen, stopping mid-letter.
“Where are you going, miss?”
“I’m going to the lakeside to get some fresh air.”
She must have been sitting and writing too many letters.
Rijan’s daily routine was always the same. She would wake up and have a light meal, write letters, teach the children, write letters, eat lunch, write letters, spend time on small diversions like reading books or strolling through the garden, eat dinner, and then write letters again. As she did so, she imagined what Ezekiel might be doing at that very moment.
What was he seeing, what was he eating, what was he saying, what was he thinking?
She sent him letters detailing every trivial aspect of her daily life, yet news of him was something she could barely hear through the mouths of messengers.
He had always been a busy man. Until recently, he had been confined to a sickbed for so long that he hadn’t been in any state to write replies, and now that he had recovered his health, he was said to be running about day and night catching up on backlogged official duties. He probably didn’t even have time to read all the letters she had sent, let alone write back. The density of his life was entirely different from Rijan’s, who spent her days leisurely in a mansion that promised every comfort, doing only as she pleased.
“But it’s almost dinner time?”
“I’ll be back soon.”
Rijan reassured Anna and left the mansion.
Come to think of it, she had heard there was a lake at the Valdemara main estate as well.
Rijan had been stagnating like an inanimate object, suffering from the aftereffects left on her body by her life in the internment camp along with lethargy and depression. To her, Ezekiel had suggested taking walks to various places, trying to refresh her mood.
“How strange that I never saw any of it....”
At that time, her mind and body had been so exhausted that his words hadn’t properly reached her. Her vision had narrowed and her ears had felt muffled. Each day had felt like she was barely holding back tears.
To think that she now felt like returning to the Valdemara main estate of her own accord, when back then she had wanted nothing more than to escape it as soon as possible—she had truly changed so much.
Without knowing that such a day would come, she had wandered far, far away for so very long.
She felt it anew. Happiness and peace did not arrive with clear, distinct forms like misfortune did. There had been a time when she had writhed in pain, trembled in fear, spent each day in dread, and fallen so low that she couldn’t even scream—and surely that had been the case, but...
At some point, reflecting on the past was no longer as terrible as before. Rather than resenting her young, foolish self, she wanted to embrace and comfort that girl, telling her she had suffered enough.
And then, she would suddenly realize in a daze.
Ah, I’m okay now.
I’ve become okay, she would think.
Lost in thought as she walked, she found herself at the lakeside before she knew it.
Perhaps because it was close to dinner time, there were unusually few people. Rijan stood at the water’s edge, gazing at the sunset reflected upon the surface.
It was likely because that was the direction where the sun set, but the western sky was especially beautiful at sunset. The intensely burning red light always displayed the day’s vitality in the most vivid manner.
Rijan narrowed her bleary eyes and then raised her hand. Through the gaps between her fingers, she watched the sun dipping past, and the jewel catching the magnificent sunset dead-on glowed even redder. It felt as though all the brilliance in the world had caught fire upon her finger.
Wow...
Rijan exclaimed in admiration and pulled off the ring to look at it.
That was the moment it happened. Her hand slipped for an instant and she lost her grip on the ring. The ring glanced off her fingers as she tried to catch it hurriedly, drawing shallow ripples across the lake’s surface. Her heart dropped.
“Ah, that gave me a fright.”
Fortunately, the ring had fallen near the edge of the lake. It was within reach—only a few steps in. Rijan took off her shoes and hiked her skirt hems up to her knees, tying them in place.
“From now on, I must never take it off my finger.”
She was scolding herself for causing such a needless accident, carefully about to dip her foot into the cold lake water, when suddenly someone passed her and splashed into the lake, then picked up the ring.
And then he threw it very far away.
The ring left a flash of light for an instant and disappeared in the blink of an eye.
Rijan couldn’t even scream. Her mind had gone completely blank.
The shock, unable to become a sound, coalesced at the tip of her tongue and then faded away.
“Rijan.”
The man who had so boldly thrown the ring away strode back toward her.
Rijan froze with her mouth half-open.
The unexpected appearance of the man was astonishing enough, but he had thrown her precious, oh-so-precious engagement ring without a moment’s hesitation. She didn’t know where to begin being shocked.
“...Ezekiel?”
No, how was this man here?
No, but what did he mean by throwing the ring?
How could he startle someone like this the moment he appeared...
“Why are you standing like that? Aren’t you happy to see me?”
Ezekiel cast a playful smile at Rijan, who stood frozen stiff.
“You really...”
“Hmm?”
“...Are you real?”
For now, she doubted whether this man’s presence was a dream or an illusion.
“If you’re curious, you should check for yourself.”
Ezekiel smirked and swept Rijan, who was standing by the lakeside, up into his arms. Rijan gasped and reflexively wrapped her arms around his neck.
“You said in your letters that you were doing well, but was that a lie? You’re still so thin.”
“What happened? What about your body? Your wounds... don’t they hurt?”
“I’m perfectly healed.”
“What about the scars?”
A bullet had lodged in his forearm and thigh, and a knife had struck his abdomen deep enough that the hilt touched his skin. Rijan still vividly remembered the vicious, cruel hand of the spy who had twisted the blade with the intent to kill him.
“They don’t bother me at all.”
Even though he had been on the brink of death, he never showed his pain to Rijan.
They had said that if he hadn’t been such a robust man, the injuries would have been fatal.
Rijan slid her palm down his forearm. She touched his firm shoulder, then felt over the gnarled muscles of his attached forearm, and when she moved her hand to the chest of the man who was holding her up so solidly, Ezekiel whispered huskily.
“If you keep groping like that, things are going to get a little difficult.”
The man’s breathing grew slightly heavier.
Only then did Rijan become aware of where they were and pull her hand away.
“Then you should have stayed home. If you had, I would have proven to you long ago just how fine I am.”
For a moment, she thought it might be a joke, but no matter how she reconsidered, it hadn’t been spoken in a joking tone.
With family members and employees including Anna in the house, what was he planning to do from this early evening?
Embarrassed for no reason, Rijan squirmed.
“I’m heavy, so put me down now.”
If he had only held her for a moment, that would be one thing, but throughout their reunion, Ezekiel showed no sign of putting her down.
“Heavy? You? Unless you’ve swelled up to about three times your current size, that’s out of the question.”
A calm reply came back.
If they kept this up, someone was bound to see them before they reached the house. It seemed rumors would spread through the neighborhood in a more ostentatious manner than the ring.
She stopped trying to hide her bashful face and looked around at the lake. She had almost forgotten.
“Ah, right. The ring. Why did you throw the ring?”
“To make a wish.”
“What?”
“They say you throw a coin and make a wish here.”
“...You throw coins, not rings.”
“Mine is a wish that must absolutely come true.”
“Even so, that’s a bit...”
“The more precious the wish, the greater the cost one must pay.”
Good heavens. Rijan clicked her tongue inwardly.
This man had read all her letters.
On the other hand, she felt relieved too. She resolved to keep secret for the rest of her life the fact that she had momentarily worried he might have thrown the engagement ring away as a way of calling off the marriage.
“But who actually throws a real treasure? That’s a jewel you can’t get anywhere.”
“To be happy with you forever—at that price, I’m getting a bargain.”
Ezekiel brought his lips gently to Rijan’s cheek and whispered.
“It’s the price of exchanging a human’s finiteness for eternity.”
“What if someone finds out?”
“Who? Other than you and me, no one knows the secret that our eternity is hidden somewhere at the bottom of this lake, where it will never break or disappear.”
What in the world was she to do with this man?
This man who flustered her so, who made her heart stop in shock, yet who somehow always managed to move her.
In the end, Rijan laughed.
“You really don’t seem like the type—honestly, just looking at your face, you really don’t look like it at all... but sometimes, I think you’re more romantic than I am.”
“You’re the only romance in my life, so of course I am.”
There was not the slightest trace of doubt in his answer. But after closing his mouth for a moment, Ezekiel added in a lowered voice.
“And somehow, I can’t help feeling that ring was the reason you went through all that hardship.”
“What do you mean?”
“They said its nickname was the Blood Diamond, and it really did nearly get you killed. Even now, when I think of you being dragged away by those bastards, my blood runs cold. Burying them twice over in those frozen mountains still wouldn’t be enough.”
Rijan’s eyes went round.
“Surely not. You believe things like that?”
“There’s no harm in believing it. From now on, I’m going to choose everything connected to you with care. That’s why it took me so long this time—to find a safe, clean jewel without any ominous rumors attached to it.”
By the lakeside at sunset, Ezekiel carefully set Rijan down and knelt before her.
He was a man who would never collapse, even after being stabbed, until his enemy had fallen first. Yet before her alone, that man lowered himself without hesitation.
“I can’t wait any longer. I don’t want to wait, either. I endured that long rehabilitation thinking only of running to you. Telling myself that this would be the last time I was ever apart from you, that I would never let you leave me again.”
It was the same for her.
Rijan had endured with the same feelings. That their missed timings were over now, that she would no longer waste this precious time on regret.
“Rijan.”
The weight carried in her name was different from before.
“Did I once promise I’d take responsibility for you? I was talking nonsense when I knew nothing. That was wrong. You take responsibility for me. You may be able to live without me, but I can’t live without you. Then it’s only right that you take responsibility for me.”
Ezekiel took a box from his breast. As he slipped the ring he had prepared onto Rijan’s finger, he continued voicing his wish.
“Give me the right to see your smile from the closest place, and to hear your voice from the closest place. Give me the duty, as your husband, to always protect you and make you happy above all else. Give me the chance to be happy together. I think I’m fortunate there’s a word that can define these complicated feelings I have. If I couldn’t express them in language, I think my heart would have burst from frustration.”
She knew.
It was love.
Rijan gazed down at the ring. Though it was a moment she had predicted would come before long, for some reason, emotion welled up inside her.
While he thought of the rights he would hold as her husband, the duties he would bear, and the chances he longed for, what should she give in return?
“Then what should I do?”
“You……”
Ezekiel breathed out to her the wish he had held for so long.
“Just love me. That’s enough.”
With love alone, he could become anything she wanted. Even if it meant becoming a blind beast.
“That’s far too obvious.”
Rijan answered his longing with a confession.
“I’ve loved you all along. I love you now, and I’ll keep loving you from now on.”
The lips that had promised love sought each other.
Just sharing breath was enough to make her heart swell with excitement. She wanted to tie this sweet moment in place so it would stop here forever, and yet, she also looked forward to the tomorrow that was to come so much that she could hardly wait.
You are the person who makes this life even more meaningful.
Like the sun that will rise again tomorrow, never setting; like the lake that remains here unchanged, never wavering. Until the glitter hidden beneath that lake comes to an end—forever.
We will live each day filled to the brim with each other’s existence.
𝑺𝒊𝒅𝒆 𝑺𝒕𝒐𝒓𝒚 𝑭𝒊𝒏.🫧