Chapter 127
Flustered, Lizan hurriedly called out to the soldiers escorting the carriage.
Fortunately, the soldier leading the carriage at the front was someone she knew. Turning his horse’s head, Mongkam came up beside Lizan.
“These are the major’s orders.”
“What?”
Lizan drew in a breath.
“When? He woke up?”
“In truth, he regained consciousness very briefly before we moved to Cleris. He gave only a few instructions then lost consciousness again.”
It was the first she had heard of it. For a moment, hurt surged in her at the thought that she had not seen Ezekail awake, but Lizan tried to calm herself step by step.
“Why didn’t you call me?”
“We meant to, but he only left us a few instructions before fainting again, so there was no time to tell you, my lady.”
Lizan bit down hard on her lip and asked in return.
“What were his instructions?”
“He told us to escort you to another safe place.”
“Am I the only one who can’t enter Cleris? Why? Is it because the Valdemaera family won’t welcome me?”
“He judged the royal family to be the problem rather than the Valdemaera family.”
“What?”
“Because you were caught up with spies from an enemy nation. If you enter Cleris as things are, you will have to be questioned by a royal investigator in the major’s stead about everything that has happened. Then you won’t even have time to stay with the Valdemaera family.”
She had not thought that far.
Lizan was left stunned.
“You have done nothing wrong, my lady, so that much is one thing. But if it comes to light that the major, the soldier Astrie trusts most, tried to abandon his duty to protect his homeland because of you, it will honestly have a poor effect on you. No nation would be pleased that a promising soldier placed personal feelings above public duty.”
Lizan knew well how terrifying it was to incur the displeasure of those in power. To her, with neither a reliable status nor a reputation to protect herself, the nation and the royal family were towering walls.
“That’s…….”
“He said he would settle the situation himself later, so until then, he asked that you live comfortably in a quiet place. We also plan to keep our stories properly aligned according to the major’s instructions. We will say that the accident in Sielsa was a secret operation to completely wipe out the spies who escaped, and that the major was gravely injured while eliminating the men who had set the trap. I’m sorry, my lady, after all you have suffered, but it would be best for your existence to be erased from this incident.”
“……So that is why I cannot accompany him?”
“Yes. For your safety as well, you must stay far away for the time being. He is not the sort of man who can keep his reason when it comes to you, is he?”
I see.
Lizan understood.
Even when he came to for only a moment, he worried only about her.
He was asking her to stay somewhere quiet and safe, somewhere he could feel at ease about.
If that was what Ezekail wanted, if that would put his heart at peace, then it was right to do so. If it was a place he had prepared, then no matter how unfamiliar it was, she was not worried at all.
This selfish desire not to be apart from him for even a moment had to be set aside for now.
Because we will meet again very soon.
In the end, Lizan nodded in agreement.
❖ ❖ ❖
Was it because she had stayed in Sielsa, where winter was particularly long?
The change of seasons was as swift as the speed of the running carriage. Having lived at the tail end of winter, when the warmth of spring was only just beginning to stir, she was suddenly met with bright scenery full of life and vitality, and it felt as though she had abruptly aged by a whole year.
“May I get off here?”
It was a western village where the golden sunset pouring over brick-colored roofs felt remarkably warm.
This is the place.
Though Mongkam had not yet given her any guidance, Lizan thought so. For some reason, she felt she simply knew.
“The weather is nice, and it’s beautiful, so I’d like to look around the village as if I were taking a stroll. Since you’ve seen me this far, you may all return now. You have many things to do in Cleris to help the major, don’t you?”
If this was a neighborhood Ezekail had chosen after careful consideration, then its public safety was certain. She no longer needed his subordinates’ escort. Besides, she felt embarrassed making the soldiers walk along with an empty carriage and horses to match her slow steps.
“Then I will tell you the location of the mansion.”
“No, it’s all right.”
Lizan gave a faint smile.
“I’d like to find it slowly as I walk.”
So there are neighborhoods like this, too.
Lizan marveled inwardly.
The only places she knew were Cleris, always crowded with people and solemn beyond measure because splendid noble families had established themselves there, and Sielsa, chilled in gray-white by its long winter.
Every few steps, Lizan stopped and looked around in every direction.
The saturation of the world was truly different. Even the smell of the wind was different. The air was not sharply cold. Light seeped into even the edges of the road, unnamed spring flowers bloomed brightly at every corner, and colorful cats that had come out to bask in the sun were curled up asleep anywhere they pleased, as if every place were their own yard.
For some reason, it was a scene that made her heart itch.
No one here must live every day in tension.
The memory of running barefoot over the mountainside to escape the spies of Davys suddenly felt as distant as a dream.
Walking slowly along the well-paved brick road, Lizan discovered two strangely familiar trees over the wall of a certain mansion and swallowed a short exclamation.
They were a spruce tree and an apricot tree.
“What kind of tree is this?”
“Mm…… It’s a large, handsome spruce tree. There was also a grove of spruce trees right near Milena Girls’ School. I remember decorating a little spruce tree with the children and baking bread to eat when Christmas approached.”
“When winter comes this year, by then I’ll have regained my sight, so let’s decorate a tree together. Very grandly and splendidly.”
“We can tie the rope to this apricot tree. It’s an apricot tree with strong branches stretching out. I remember this tree. In summer, I thought it would be nice to make compote with the apricot fruit and hang a swing from it.”
A swing was hanging from the branch of the apricot tree. It swayed gently with the breeze.
“Oh? Lizan!”
As she stood there gazing at it, a familiar voice reached her.
It was Anna, whom she had thought had returned to Derosa. Lizan stared at her, dumbfounded.
“How are you here?”
Anna, too, was startled.
“Your voice finally came back?”
“Yes, I’m all right now. I’m completely better.”
“Wow, that’s such a relief. I was worried about what would happen if you could never speak again…… There must be so much I have to hear from you. Ah, as for me, the master said he would provide a house for me to live in with my family and asked if we would all consider moving. He said he’d pay me twice as much as now, and if we wanted, he would arrange it so that my siblings and I could study while working.”
Anna added sheepishly.
“The truth is, I thought it was really wonderful and enviable how you and Teacher Polina communicated only through writing. So we all came. I’d be a fool to kick away conditions like these. Right, hurry and come in.”
Anna hurriedly opened the gate and pulled Lizan inside. Led by Anna’s hand, Lizan stepped into the mansion.
It was a single-story mansion with a charming little garden attached. It was not large in scale, but every corner showed signs of having been kept neat and carefully tended.
“Your parents are here, too. They said they felt awkward staying at the main house when neither you nor the master was there, so they came down. We’ve all been sweeping and polishing the mansion every day while waiting for you. They’ve gone to the market now, but they’ll be back soon.”
“My parents, too?”
“At first, they said they were going to return to the house in Cleris. After I went back, you were a little cold to them, weren’t you? Then you went back to school, so I guess they were upset and frightened, but when they said they would just go back to the house where they used to live because they were afraid you might hate them, a messenger came after them and brought them here. Apparently, the master said that when you graduate, you’re meant to come to this house, and that family should live together under one roof. I arrived first and was cleaning, and they explained it to me hesitantly.”
“Ah…….”
“And now you really mustn’t speak formally to me, no, you must not. I should…… I should correct myself first. Ah, this is so awkward, it’s a problem. Please give me a few days, Miss Lizan?”
She should have laughed at Anna’s joking, but instead her eyes stung.
It was truly a house like a gift box made only for her.
The peaceful everyday life that Ezekail had wanted to give Lizan as a gift, or perhaps had wanted to enjoy with her, was contained in every corner of this mansion. The reason this house, which she had come to for the first time, did not feel unfamiliar but rather familiar, must have been because it was permeated with the devotion of a man who had carefully selected memories while thinking only of Lizan.
“Have you thought about what you’ll do from now on?”
Anna asked.
“Mm, I…….”
“What a mess. It’s going to take both of us forever to fix how we address each other.”
Anna let out a playful sigh. Only then did Lizan quickly correct herself as well.
“Ah, I…….”
For now, yes, for now, she should wait.
Because the greatest gift of this mansion had not yet arrived.
He was a man who kept the promises he made with his own mouth thoroughly, so he would certainly return.
Before long, soon.
And when he returned…….
Lizan touched the ring finger of her left hand, still empty.
Looking back, there had never been a day when she could be honest about her feelings. Because she had many things to feel guilty for, because the secrets she could not speak of ran deep, because no matter how she thought about it, she lacked the right, she had lived turning away from her own heart.
But now, she would no longer be so afraid.
Because she had drawn close to death, she now knew. When one looked back on the past at the end of life, a life filled only with longing and regret was unbearably fleeting.
In a world where each had nearly lost the other and been left alone, they had miraculously held on to one another, so now she would live loving the man she loved to her heart’s content.
So that the remaining pages of her life would be filled with happiness rather than regret, so that she could smile at memories rather than shed tears over them.
With all her heart.