[Episode 80] — Overprotective
While Titania went to get dressed and I waited for the maids who would help me with my own preparations, I removed my earring and looked at Ainsel. Ainsel absolutely had to help me at this masquerade.
“As I said last time, I can’t wear the earring at this ball. I’m trying to conceal my identity as much as possible. I won’t take my eyes off Titania while we’re in the ballroom, but…”
—I know. Since you can’t wear the earring, you’re going to replace it with a necklace, right? And since you’re going to tuck it beneath your clothes, you’re telling me that you might not be able to hear my voice? So I should protect the princess properly… and shout loudly if anything happens… Honestly, you’re going to give me calluses in my ears.
“…Yes. I’m counting on you this time. Shout loudly if anything happens.”
—You’re really far too overprotective. To be honest, this is no different from keeping watch over the princess. I’ve told you so many times that I’m practically giving you calluses in your ears, too…
“I know. You’re saying that Titania has grown enough now, so I should get used to letting her out of my sight, aren’t you? I’ll try, but…”
I let out a small sigh and looked at Ainsel.
Letting Titania out of my sight wasn’t an easy thing to do. In fact, I had even begun to wonder if I was the one becoming obsessed with Titania. I knew that she was a child who would leave my side someday, but…
“…Even if it looks a little pathetic, bear with me. Just until Titania enters the academy. You know, don’t you? By then, I’ll also…”
—I didn’t go so far as to call it pathetic. I’m only worried about whether you’ll really be able to leave the princess’s side when the time comes, as promised. To be honest, I don’t think it would be so bad even if you didn’t leave…
At Ainsel’s gaze, which seemed genuinely worried, I gave a bitter smile. I knew what Ainsel was trying to tell me.
As Titania grew older, I had begun to vaguely feel that it wasn’t Titania who depended on me, but me who depended on Titania.
The reason I existed in this place was for Titania. I had decided that from the beginning. So I had no choice but to depend on Titania.
She was the child who made up my entire life.
But the more I depended on Titania, the more she came to depend on me. Then I depended on her even more, and Titania depended on me again, and again, and again—like a snake biting its own tail.
Was that why? Lately, the thought that I would never be able to leave Titania’s side if things continued like this had begun to slowly fill my mind.
Wasn’t that right? Someday, Titania would become queen, marry, and leave my side. I couldn’t go on depending on her even then. I didn’t want to become a parent who was obsessed with their child.
Because I knew I must not do that, I had to keep the promise I made to the Queen Dowager. Even after Titania grew up, my remaining at her side would be no different from poison—for both Titania and me.
And so, I…
*
“Mother! Look at this!”
While I was being dressed and made up by the maids, Titania suddenly flung open the door and appeared. Apparently, her preparations were already finished, and Titania, dressed for the masquerade, approached me with quick little steps.
She was wearing a snow-white blouse and a bright red skirt, clothes that looked more like something commoners would wear than a dress. A bright red cloak was draped over her, and in one hand she carried a basket filled with snacks.
On top of that, she wore a bright red mask that covered half her face.
As though showing herself off, Titania grasped the hem of her skirt and spun around once on the spot. Her costume was that of Little Red Riding Hood from the fairy tale.
“It suits you. So you ultimately decided on Little Red Riding Hood?”
“Yes. I liked this one the most.”
Since most of the participants at this masquerade were children, Hailey had chosen “fairy tales” or “fairies” as the theme. Of course, my influence had probably played a part in that as well.
Titania had said it was a little childish, but it was still far more wholesome than an adults’ masquerade. Normally, unless the host chose a theme, people could wear any mask they pleased at a masquerade.
The masks were used merely to flaunt their wealth. At a masquerade where concealing one’s identity was the rule, their masks were not actually meant to hide their identities.
They would have jewels set into their masks or use expensive fabrics. They might even hire craftsmen to make their clothes so that their costumes would look as realistic as possible. At adults’ masquerades, costumes were nothing less than a “competition” with everyone else.
Moreover, such masquerades were usually lewd events where people pretended to be noble and dignified on the surface while indulging in debauchery and depravity behind the scenes. Honestly, they were gatherings where Titania had nothing whatsoever to learn.
That was why, even now, just before the masquerade was about to begin, I was still faintly regretting it. No matter that it was an event attended only by children, allowing the masquerade had begun to feel like a mistake.
…If I kept complaining like this, I’d never hear the end of it. I could almost hear Ainsel shouting, “Stop being so overprotective already!”
‘Besides… she won’t be able to enjoy this masquerade as much as she expects. This masquerade will also be a chance for Titania to face reality.’
Unable to reach any conclusion in my thoughts, I let out a deep sigh and looked at Titania. Certainly, her costumed appearance was adorable in a way I couldn’t see every day. If I hadn’t still been in the middle of getting ready, I would have hugged her at once.
I let out another small sigh and asked Titania with a worried expression,
“Titania. Do you remember what I told you?”
“Yes, I remember everything. You told me so many times that I nearly got calluses in my ears.”
“I’ll say it one more time: bring at least two masks that look different from each other. Make sure your cloak covers you all the way to the end of your face. And since you can’t dance, as for the first dance…”
When I began nagging her again, Titania let out a deep sigh, saying she was going to get calluses in her ears, and let my words go in one ear and out the other. No matter how much I talked until my mouth hurt, she would only understand after experiencing it herself.
Perhaps she disliked the way I treated her like a little child, because Titania straightened her back and chest to make herself look taller, thumped her fists against her chest, and looked at me. What was she doing now?
“Mother, don’t worry. It’s only a masquerade with children my age, isn’t it? You worry far too much. I’m practically a grown lady now, you know?”
“W-what did you say??? You, a lady??? Pfft—pffhahaha, ahahahahaha!”
At the word “lady,” I burst out laughing.
What did a mere thirteen-year-old child know about being a lady?
She must have been reading another strange novel and gotten ideas from it. Perhaps the fact that she had said she was “practically” a grown lady was the last trace of Titania’s conscience.
When I burst into loud laughter, the maids helping me get dressed beside me began to tremble as well.
The maids tried to hold back the laughter threatening to spill out, but in the end, they must have been unable to contain it, because faint giggles escaped between their slightly parted lips.
“Ah, Your Majesty, Princess, we’re truly sorry. It’s just that the princess was so adorable…”
“Phew… That was too cute to endure…”
Most of the maids had children of their own, which seemed to make it even harder for them to hold back. They always treated Titania as if she were their own child, so I had no intention of scolding them.
As the maids and I continued to giggle, Titania’s face turned bright red. Her skirt, cloak, and mask were all red, and with her face turning red as well, she looked exactly like a perfectly ripe apple.
Whether she was angry or embarrassed, Titania trembled from head to toe. Realizing I had gone too far, I quickly calmed my laughter with a deep breath and apologized to her.
“I’m sorry. But in my eyes, you’re still a child. You’re only thirteen, and even now, you’re still a child who can’t sleep at night unless you sleep beside me. If you want to call yourself a lady, shouldn’t you first get used to sleeping separately from me, turn fifteen, and make your debut?”
At my criticism, Titania made a small sound of protest—“Ugh”—but could not refute me.
I didn’t know where she had even gotten the word “lady,” but even considering that its definition was “a beautiful term for a woman possessing culture, manners, and dignity, or for a woman who has reached adulthood,” it absolutely did not apply to Titania, who had not even had her coming-of-age ceremony.
‘Well… her face is gradually beginning to lose its childishness… but she’s still nowhere near being a lady.’
Suppressing the laughter that kept escaping me, I patted Titania on the back as she looked ready to burst into tears at any moment.
“Don’t cry. Go to the ballroom first. It would be troublesome if you were late to the masquerade you’ve been looking forward to so much because you had to redo your makeup.”
“…What about you, Mother? What costume are you going to wear?”
“Me?”
I pretended to ponder for a moment, cupping my chin with one finger, then grinned and gave Titania’s bottom a sharp smack.
Startled, Titania hopped in place, puffed out her cheeks, and glared at me.
“I told you it was a secret. Unless I speak to you first, there’s no chance you’ll recognize me.”
“Not even a hint…?”
“None. So behave while assuming that I’ll always be watching over you. You know what will happen if you do anything bad, right?”
“Yes…”
Perhaps the spot I had struck hurt, because Titania rubbed her bottom several times before leaving the room with a slightly dejected expression. My makeup was nearly finished as well, so all that remained was to put on my costume.
“Well then, let’s… get started…”
After finishing my makeup and standing up, I looked inside the wardrobe the maid had opened for me. It was the costume I had secretly asked Hailey and Yvette to prepare for today. I couldn’t help but let out a quiet laugh at the sight of clothes I had never worn before.
“Let’s get ready. It wouldn’t do to be late.”